After dinner, Katie gathered all of her notebooks and pencils from her bag and called Logan from his seat in the living room.

Logan looked up at the young girl with mild surprise, he had completely forgotten about her request at dinner. He had planned to spend the evening buried into a myriad of medical journals, pushing all other thoughts out the window for the night.

At least that was how it worked for him back in Minnesota. His parents watched him warily when he was in their presence, otherwise he would stuff himself in his room for all hours and just forget everything in piles of school work.

When out with his friends he'd hide his thoughts in laughter, pulling pranks, playing hockey. Anything of male or masculine directed variety, Logan would push himself into, while ignoring that taunting voice in the back of his mind.

You know you're not like them.

And he wasn't. Logan was not one to preach about the differences in males and females. He didn't believe in the boundaries of 'boys should play sports' and 'girls should bake cookies'. It was nothing like that. But he knew full well that while his friends boasted and raved about their...nether regions, Logan had preferred to pass over that discussion and talk about anything else.

He once thought he could easily pass that off as finding it weird to talk about... dicks with his friends as normal, but that voice never let him slip by.

It has nothing to do with familiarity. It's all about you not wanting what you have.

That made more sense to him after a while, figuring as the more his friends brought up the subject, the more he felt urged to punch them or scream in frustration.

Just leave it alone, shut up!

"Logan?" Katie stood before him now, inches from his face. Startled Logan stumbled from the couch and onto the floor, earning a laugh from his friends.

"What's the matter there Logie?" James teased, helping his friend up from the floor. Logan blushed as Katie gave him an odd look, not falling into jeers like the older boys.

"C'mon Katie." Logan quietly escorted her to her room, ignoring his friends slowly quelling from their fit of laughter.

Katie and Mrs. Knights room was definitely a large contrast from the four boys. While it wasn't overtly girly, it was sophisticated. Katie's side of the room was tapered with soft baby blue bedding and littered with a few stuffed animals. It was sweet, and cute.

Katie lead Logan over to her work desk and took a seat, Logan sitting across form her at the edge of her bed.

"So Katie what did you-"

"What's eating you?" Katie cut him off quickly, spinning around in the desk chair, notebooks easily forgotten on the furniture.

"What are you talking about?" Logan threw her a look of confusion, but the young girl was not having any of it. From the moment Logan had stepped into the apartment that evening, Katie knew something was up.

"I want to know what's bugging you, the other guys are obviously acting a little clueless to realize somethings not right with you."

Logan sighed, he should have known with Katie Knight. He felt warmed by the fact that she desired to know what was wrong, but the last thing Logan was going to do was unload his problems on a ten-year-old.

"It's nothing serious Katie, don't worry" He gave her a kind smile. But the look quickly changed as the young girl crouched in her seat and reached under her desk, picked up a stuffed lion and roughly pelted it at him.

"Tell me!" she shouted as the stuffed animal bounced off his face and landed to the floor.

Put-out by the childish actions Logan stood with a peeved expression and marched to the door, making to exit. He also should have known better; Katie was still a kid, when someone said no, you certainly didn't pelt stuffed creatures at them to get an answer.

"I'm sorry Katie" he began, "but unless you're asking for help with school work, I'm not playing this game anymore." He made to walk out the door, but collided with a smaller body on the way out.

"Is everything- Logan?" Mrs. Knight looked up at him in mild surprise as she came through the doorway.

"Hey Mrs. Knight, I was just helping Katie with some homework-"

"Logan, my Mom's worried too!" Katie cried.

By her daughters sudden outburst, Mrs. Knight gave Logan an enquiring look. "Is everything alright Logan?"

Defeated, and facing two stubborn women, Logan dropped lazily onto Mrs. Knights bed, ringing his hands.

"Mrs. Knight, Katie, as much as I would love to tell you, my problem is a little...odd." Logan gazed up at his friends mother sadly, hoping she would understand.

This was not something he wanted to share, at least not in the company of a ten-year-old kid. If Mrs. Knight wanted to know, he would probably tell her, but he'd never want to put Katie through any of this. Not now at least, not when he wasn't sure were things were going.

Luckily Mrs. Knight, being ever the Super Mom, understood his worries.

"Katie, why don't you go join the other boys with their movie?" It was said as a question, but both Logan and Katie understood it was more of a demand. Figuring it was better not to argue with her mother, the young girl quietly exited the room, throwing Logan one last curious glance.

"Mrs. Knight, I'm sorry about that" Logan started once he heard the girls voice over from the living room, a safe distance from their conversation, "I never meant to have Katie believe anything was wrong."

"But something is wrong, isn't it?" Mrs. Knight took a seat beside him on the foot of her bed.

Still wringing his fingers Logan shuddered, "Yeah, sorta."

Mrs. Knight smiled at the young boy, "and this is not a 'coming out' sort of thing." It wasn't a question and Logan chuckled, grinning at the woman.

"I wish it was that simple" he muttered, feeling a pressure on his knee, he looked down to see Mrs. Knight give his thigh a comforting squeeze.

"Logan, I remember when you boys were kids, coming over everyday, meeting at the rink during the winter," she smiled at the memory, "and I knew by the time Kendall was ten, he had really lucked out with friends like you."

"You're all so different: Carlos was always so active and adventurous, James was just as active but tidier..." she took hold of his chin and made him look into her eyes, "and then Kendall met you and I knew that you would fit so perfectly into their friendship; you were kind and thoughtful."

"Thank you Mrs. Knight."

"That's why I want you to feel comfortable, what ever you're dealing with is not going to change how you friends feel about you, they need you, like you need them."

"Mrs. Knight, I'm more worried about how they would...react." The more Logan thought about it, the more it sounded like he was coming out to her, but not about what he wanted and it was getting frustrating

"About you being female?"

And suddenly she was Super Mom again.

Logan was stunned, he was sure that he gave off no signs about his issues, after his meltdown over his clothing, he had shoved them back away into their cupboards. His video diaries stored under a private folder on his laptop, not that he'd ever think Mrs. Knight would go through their laptops.

"It took me a little while, but I finally understood when I found one of my magazines tangled in your bedsheets."

Logan blushed brightly, he had completely forgotten about the clothing magazines. Just weeks before his first video diary, Logan broke and took one of Mrs. Knights magazines into bed with him. With a few pieces of paper, he'd left small notes over his favourite picks, which he would buy and which he would not.

He liked to call it his 'highs' and 'lows'. Every once and a while, Logan went through these moods, the 'lows' were like his clothing meltdown. It was a time were he favoured fighting his problems, throwing small tantrums and eventually succumbing to exhaustion or tears. He had battled with quite a few 'lows' back in Minnesota.

That night with the magazine was a 'high' for Logan. Probably one of the best he's had in months perhaps. He had mulled over all the splendid details of his life if he had come out and the world was all okay with it. If his friends would all accept him and his parents didn't shun the matter entirely. Going through that magazine brought him the same joy he felt being with his friends, except on a level were he was female and instead of being another 'brother', he was a 'sister' and everything was still the same.

"I didn't mean to take it Mrs. Knight, I'm sorry." he mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

Mrs. Knight laughed kindly, "Logan, I don't care about the magazine, I care about you." Her expression changed to one laden with motherly concern.

"How much do your parents know?"

Logan sighed for the umpteenth time, "basically everything" he shrugged, "but I get the impression that they rather not know anything."

It was quiet for a moment, and Logan suddenly feared Mrs. Knight would ask him to get it out in the open, tell his friends.

"Why don't we call your parents and talk to them about this, maybe even you could start seeing someone?" Again a demand naturally disguised as a question.

"Mrs. Knight, I can't talk myself out of this..." Logan suddenly felt angry, "is that what you want me to do? Pretend I am who I'm not?" He hadn't realized he stood up until his hand wrapped around the cold metal of the doorknob. When was the door shut?

"No Logan, no, no!" Suddenly Mrs. Knight was in his face, "I would never, ever have you do something like that." She grabbed his hand and pulled him back over to the bed.

"I want you to start seeing a therapist because this is not something...your situation is a little different and I understand." She squeezed his fingers.

"Logan, I want to help you be you in the best way I can." her voice was strain and Logan realized she was crying.

"Mrs. Knight-"

"For some people this is easier I guess, but you're hurting; I can see that, Katie can see that...and being in this industry you boys have gotten involved in, is going to only make this harder for you."

"Mrs. Knight..." Logan saw his vision blur and the sudden rush of emotions: relief, confusion, exhaustion and pain crippled him until he felt into her arms, head buried into her collarbone.

This incredible woman was his saving grace. His parents had ignored him, Lucy had walked out on him, and his friends, as much as he adored them, would only add to his burden right now.

Mrs. Knight, he should have gone to her first, years ago. She'd always been just as much of a parents as his actual parents. Often even more so.

"We're going to contact your parents and they are going to learn to understand that this is not something they can postpone," she clutched his face between her gentle hands, "they're going to realize that they have a beautiful little girl who needs them."

Her words broke Logan all over again and he sagged in her palms.

"Thank-thank you, so-so much, Mrs. Knight" he blubbered, his eyes stung from crying and his nose felt wet.

Bloodshot eyes met his own. "You're more than welcome, sweetheart."

Few days later, Logan sat at the island counter, watching as Mrs. Knight spoke on the phone with his parents.

Carlos and James were at their usual spot down by the pool, while Katie was in class and Kendall was in the shower.

"I understand your confusion Mrs. Mitchell, but imagine how Logan feels."

Logan's parents, despite their hesitance and past action on the subject of gender, were slowly coming to with the reality of their son being female and not male. His mother was a little more adamant to it, but his father was surprisingly fast growing to his 'daughter'.

Logan chalked it up to his father secretly always wanting a daughter. Logan only had a only brother and he expected his parents wished for a girl once they had tried for another.

He smiled into his cereal. They got their wish.

"I know, thank you Mrs. Mitchell, yes, were going to get on that right away." Mrs. Knight said goodbye and quickly hung up. She rested back against the counter, gazing at Logan eating his cereal.

"I'm sorry Hun, did you want to speak to them?"

Logan shook his head, "No it's fine, I'm sure Dad has to get to work and Mom has other things to do."

"They do love you Logan, so much." Logan sensed she thought he was being a little hostile and looked up at her.

"I know Mrs. Knight, I'm really glad their dealing with this so well all the sudden, thank you again." He sniffled and wiped his nose, "I have no idea were I'd be if it weren't for you."

Mrs. Knight smiled, "it's only half the battle sweetheart" she pushed off the counter and stood before him, "how do you feel about going with me today to find you someone good?"

Logan bit his lip and looked back down at his cereal, "can we wait a little? I think we could get some serious help from Gustavo but... I want to wait, just for a little." The look he gave her hoped she wouldn't press the issue of him finding a shrink.

Of course Logan wanted to get all this mumbo jumbo out of the way, he wanted to fling his clothing out the window and go shopping for skinny jeans and frilly tops. But he knew that was a long way down the road, and required more than just the help of a therapist.

"I was thinking maybe...when we find a therapist, we could find a good Doctor too, like, a plastic surgeon?" his last words were mumbled, but by the look on Mrs. Knights face, she had heard.

She nodded slowly, in deep thought, not looking his way. Logan became tense, Mrs. Knight had been so supportive, but he completely disregarded the fact, that maybe, even with her full support he was moving-

A tight embrace broke his panicked reverie. Mrs. Knight crushed him her hold rocking slightly. Logan sat still until she broke the hug.

"Of course Logan, of course, but are you sure? Were going to have to speak to your parents as well."

"More than sure, Mrs. Knight, I've been fighting who I am my entire life, and I don't want to anymore."

"Absolutely, okay so we have the therapist and the surgeon" she began listing things on her fingers, "but we will wait a few days, right?" she looked up at him for conformation.

"Yes." Logan answered finitely.

"Wait a few days for what?" Both bodies spun around in surprise as Kendall ventured into the kitchen. He had a towel slung over his naked chest, rubbing one end over his ear to dry.

"Nothing honey" Mrs. Knight responded automatically and scanned the boy up and down. "Go put on a shirt, it's-" she realized were her words were heading and stopped.

"Why?" Kendall chuckled, "it's just you and Logan." He gestured to his friend sitting at the island, reaching over the counter for a fist-pump greeting.

Logan halfheartedly met him halfway, not missing Mrs. Knight's sympathetic look over her sons shoulder.

"You're right Kendall, it's just me and your Mom" he smiled sheepishly, "nothing to worry about."

Kendall smiled at his friend, "I'm going to grab a quick bite and head down to the pool with the others, you gonna come?" he was already grabbing items out of the fridge before Logan could respond.

Logan threw Mrs. Knight a quick look. "Sure, I'm just going to have a quick shower myself."

Kendall nodded, "Okay, I'll wait up for you."

Logan stood up, "awesome, thanks." He placed his bowl in the sink, filling it with hot water to soak, before exiting the kitchen, his friend occupying his previous spot.

"Oh Logan wait dear, I need to grab a few things from the bathroom cupboard." She jogged ahead of him and gestured for him to follow.

Once in the bathroom she placed her finger over her lip for him to be quiet, before nodding at him to speak.

"I can't tell the guys yet Mrs. Knight, Gustavo and Kelly will have to come first." It pained him not telling his friends what was going on with him, but he wanted everything settled before he did.

Mrs. Knight nodded, "I have to agree, Gustavo is going to be your key to opening other doors, he needs to know, and soon."

"Monday? Next Monday, it's only four days away" Logan negotiated, "and me and the guys are only in the studio for some quick recording for the new album."

"Yes, but it has to be Monday honey, think about how you coming out is going to effect that new album."

Logan groaned, "I know, I know. Monday, were doing this." He swallowed nervously, "were doing this." he repeated.

Mrs. Knight, sensing his apprehension, hugged him tightly. "You can do this sweetheart, everything will fall in place in good time."

I did say it would be longer, no? While I'm happier with the length, I do feel I'm still exploring a lot of emotions and making very little action. All in due time I guess, I can't just skip ahead for my own excitement. Although writing the emotions I find very fun as well. So my self-argument is moot. Anyway, I hoped you liked it, as always, please review.