Chapter 4 - Christmas Eve
I awoke due to light sunbeams that were tickling my eyelids. I tried to move around, shielding them with my blanket, but I couldn't grab one. There wasn't even a possibility to move around, because something hold me in place.
Or better said: someone.
I opened my eyes and realized that I've fallen asleep together with Yami on my couch. His arms were wrapped around me and his chest was moving up and down lightly. I looked up to his face. His eyes were shut, and his mouth was slightly opened. While he was still sleeping, I took the chance and looked at his face more specific; you could say that I did that in an investigative manner. He really had a beautiful face – far more beautiful than mine would ever be, even in his condition. His cheekbone was still visible, but it seemed that his face got a little voluminous. His eyelashes were short and broken, but I could imagine that they could be far more… majestic.
His eyebrows were still a bit messy, but even in this state they fitted into his face. The nose was the right size; not too big and not too small, and it was even. It completed this picture of a nearly perfect face.
He just needed to gain some weight. But I hope that we could fix this with simple healthy eating. I thought about getting up and made us breakfast, but his arms, even if they were thin and unmuscular, were stronger than it seemed. And also it was just… comfortable to stay close to him. I think that I could lay like this a little longer…
I closed my eyes and become dizzy again, imagining how Yami was before he become homeless. A smart, humorous guy; a beauty, with a well-built body, with burning red eyes, and a voice that could easily engulfing you in its magic…
"I hope you're thinking about food, Yugi…" I heard that dark voice whispering in my ear. I looked up and was welcomed by amused ruby orbs. "Ehm…" the heat returned to my cheeks, and I know that I was blushing madly. Yami chuckled and released his grip on me, and instantly I got up in fear. Oh god, please, give me a great black hole in which I could jump in and hide myself.
I was drooling. On Yamis shirt.
"Oh my god. Yami, I'm so sorry!" I said and hid behind my hands, totally embarrassed. Without taking my hands down, I wanted to stand up from the couch, telling him: "I gave you a new shirt, ok?", but Yami got a grip on my arm and hold me in place, laughing loudly.
"It's ok Yugi. I don't mind", he said through his laughter. With my face still hiding I let him pull me down again onto his chest, releasing a long groan of self-embarrassment.
Yami chuckled and put his hand on the back of my head, beginning to… stroke my hair?
Oh god, he still believed I thought about food…
I still felt awful, but his treatments… they felt so good.
"Thank you for yesterday evening, Yugi", he whispered after a few moments. "I… it's a long time ago that I was so near to somebody… It felt so good…"
With his words he washed my shyness nearly away. I could agree with him in every single word – but was I courageous enough to tell him?
Softly I sighed. Well, it was just fair, wasn't it?
"I know, I… felt the same… For me it was also the first time in a while that a man was so close to me…"
Yamis hand stopped to stroke my hair, and I could feel how his muscles stiffened. "A… man?" he asked curiously and I looked up to him. His eyes immediately bounded with mine and he stared. It wasn't as uncomfortable as before, due I knew that he was searching for a specific thing in my eyes.
He wanted to know. He wanted to know if I meant this words like I said it. He searched for a lie or anything that could prove him wrong. But I promise you, Yami – you won't find anything like this
His surprised look changed into a knowing one and his eyes got slightly bigger; his mouth dropped open slowly and he looked at me… disbelievingly?
Couldn't he figure it out before?
Before anyone of us could speak, a low jingle went through my flat. I recognized it as my cell phone. With a small "Sorry" I stood up and went into my bedroom, where I left it yesterday.
I looked at the caller-ID and didn't know if I should be happy or not.
"Hello Ay, what's up?"
"Hey Yugi! Merry Christmas to you!" Ayno cheered into my ear.
"Yeah, thanks, also a merry Christmas to you and Itachi! You're home already?"
"Uhm yeah, Yugi – it's Christmas Eve and everyone got the day off."
Oh yeah, I forgot. I have to focus on some things again – as time, for example.
"Have you made up your mind about coming over already?" she asked and I looked through the doorframes into my living room. Yami was currently making his bed by folding the blanket. He seemed lost in thoughts. I didn't know, but I got a bad feeling about going over to Ayno with or without him – either way seemed wrong. And if I have to be honest, I really want the time I could have with him only for myself.
"Sorry Ay, I can't. A long-time friend has… invited me to dinner. And he is only in Tokyo today. I'm really sorry, but I can't reject him…"
"Oh… okay. I see your bounds to your old friends are still strong… But you visit me the next days, alright?
"Deal Ay, I come over the next days, ok? And sorry for not calling you. I was so busy with cleaning. You know my fetish."
"Ah… you have a cleaning fetish? Yugi, what are you hi-"
"Sorry Ay, have to hung up. Have a good time!"
I sighed as I cut the call short. Talks with Ayno got rather tiring when she found out that I was hiding something from her. And I nearly dropped the phone as it started to vibrate again. But this time it was only a message. As I opened it I began to smile.
'Hey Yug' my old man! How you're doin'? I reserved you the table for two at the restaurant! 5 o'clock is fine, right? Hope you an' your grandpa have a merry Christmas! See you, Joey'
"So… your gonna visit your friend today, hm?" Yami asked from behind me. I turned around and looked in a sad face. I shook my head.
"No, I don't want to see her right now. Besides, I have really a friend who invited me to dinner. Though he won't be there." Yami looked puzzled. I showed him the message from Joey. "I thought your grandpa isn't coming?" he asked.
"Yes. But I won't bring my grandpa with me."
At first it seems that he didn't understand me. But than a firework of emotion went up in his face as realization hit him.
"But… Yugi, that is really nice of you, but – I cannot come with you. I-"
"Why not Yami? I gave up the reservation about 2 weeks ago, and he fought for a table for me the last week. If I cancelled now, he will be mad at me. And if you won't come with me, I have to go alone, and I don't want this. Besides, everyone I know here in Tokyo is busy, so there is no one I could ask."
I looked at him with big eyes. "Please. Please come with me."
Yami sat down on my bed, sighing. For some time, he just sat there and obviously was thinking about this. Slowly I placed myself beside him and looked up to him with pleading eyes.
"I can never repay this to you… Never…" he whispered so low I could barely hear him.
I groaned lightly. "Yami, I said this to you before. You don't need to do this! Never!" I said to him.
Slowly he moved his head and looked at me. "But…why? Why do y-"
I interrupted him by placing a hand on his shoulder. My look was sternly and I hoped that he would understand it. "Because I like you Yami. A lot… You don't feel like a stranger for me anymore. Somehow you became a friend for me. And… I want to be there for you, to be a friend for you too" I said and his looks became softer. He placed his hand on top of mine and squeezed it lightly. "In my eyes you are a friend for me, Yugi" he said. "And… I like you, too. And I enjoy your company."
A smile pop up into my face and my tension got away. To know that he also liked me… It made my heartbeat rise. Happiness was spreading in my body and I moved forward, taking him into a hug. "Then will you accompany me today?" I whispered as he wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his nod, and happily I squeaked. He chuckled at this and sighed.
Somehow, I was really happy that he would come with me. But – I didn't know why, but at some point, I couldn't see this as a dinner between friends… Calm down Yugi! You couldn't know how Yami felt. And you were assuming that his argument with his family was the same that you had with your grandfather. But you didn't know exactly! So please – this will be a normal dinner, and no date. Just be glad that Yami would come with you. Otherwise, you really didn't know how to explain Joey that you won't be able to come…
I sighed at my thoughts and tried to shut down my mind. Yami was still embracing me, and I wouldn't start an attempt to get out of this embrace… somehow I didn't want to let him go.
After we stood up the day started off easy. We ate breakfast and did some small talk, as Yami asked me what to wear for the dinner this evening. So we moved over into my bedroom and looked through the pile of clothes that I've sorted out the day Yami came to me. It was hard, but in the end we find a good and simple outfit for him: some black jeans, along with a red pullover and even fitting black shoes. It didn't seem too bad on him, but you could see that the pullover hanged loose and that he had to wear a tight belt, so he won't lose his pants somewhere. Even if they were nearly his size it looked a little too big for him – but still my own clothes wouldn't fit either. And sadly we didn't have the time to go shopping. At first I believed that we need to go, because Yami had no prober jacket for the cold, but for tonight he could wear one from mine. It was tight but would do for one evening. Besides, I knew that Yami wouldn't appreciate it if I would have spent any more money on him.
For the evening I asked my neighbour if she would look after Baya once, so that we knew that she would be checked. I bowed happily in front of her as she said that it was no problem for her, and I assured her that we won't be gone long.
As I returned to my flat Yami was in the bathroom along with Baya. He had mentioned before that he would really like to give her a bath and comb through her fur. He fixed his old dog brush so I wouldn't have to ask my neighbour again for a favour. As I entered my bathroom a happy Baya covered with foam was looking at me, and Yami kneeling in front of her and rub through her fur. I asked if he needed some help, but happily declined. So I went into the kitchen and made myself a hot chocolate. I would do one for Yami later, so it would be still hot when he was finished with Bayas treatment.
It was when I realized that this was the first time I had for myself for the last 2 days. Normally I was a loner, happy to live on my own and could concentrate on my things – I had to organize other people problems enough at my work. But my home was my refugee. Nothing can come up here and disturb me or my thoughts. It was pleasant.
So it surprised me even more that I didn't missed that feeling of being all for myself. But not even this – I didn't feel the urge to be alone anymore. At some time around people I would snap and really rush to my haven, to breath and to think again. But with Yami it was different. I liked his company very much, and it was nice to know that he was around. Still, I was happy to have this moment for myself. But I wouldn't mind to share it with Yami.
What was… so special about him?
I stood before my closet and looked inside; even if Yami had something to wear, I was not sure what I should wear. I looked between my white shirt and a black vest, or a navy blue pullover – but then it would be a team match with Yami. On the other hand, I didn't know if the shirt was too formal... But we were going into one of the fanciest restaurants in Tokyo. I sighed and decided for the shirt. So I dressed up, put on my jewellery and stood in front of my mirror. I tried to organize my outfit – got it in shape here and there, dust it off and looked up my hair. You could say I was a bit of a narcissist, but I also put on some light make up around my eyes, and also decided to put on some perfume. I mean, I'm going out, it's not that I want to impress someone who is maybe accompanying me or so...
A sigh escaped my mouth. Yami was standing in my bathroom and was dressing up himself with the clothes I gave him. He was happy with those I gave him, but you could see that it was no fitting outfit for him. It was a mash-up from clothes that were randomly put together – which they of course were. And I would stand beside him, nice and...
"Can I come in?" I heard him say in front of my door. "S-Sure" I answered, a little surprised how fast Yami was. In the mirror I saw how he entered, and I couldn't help myself and stare.
I was totally wrong with the mash-up. This outfit was fitting him so well! And it hid his slender figure quite well, so you won't get the idea the he was unhealthy thin. He looked just... great.
And by his gaze he was giving me, I assume that he was astonished from my sight as well.
"You look... great", he whispered as he slowly came over to me. I turned around and smiled at him. "Thanks. But you don't look bad as well!"
He chuckled. "Yeah. I was surprised that these clothes fit so well. But now I feel a bit underdressed."
He remained silent as he was standing in front of me. Our eyes locked and we were drowning in each other's oceans. I don't know how long we were standing there, just looking into each other's eyes – but for me it didn't matter. I could stand there and watch them all the time...
And again I could feel my heartbeat racing, and a warm and comfy feeling spreading out in my chest.
"M-May I use some of your make-up, too?" Yami asked after a while and he pointed out to my supplies that were lying on my dresser. I snapped out of the trance and nodded. "Yes of course you can. I'll just go over and give my key to Midori so she can look after Baya."
As I walked out of my bedroom, I thought about him. And as I was at Midori and gave her my spare key, I was also thinking about him. He never left my mind – as the last 2 days he was with me. I thought back at the moment, where I found him at the bus station. At that point I just wanted to help him and Baya, so they would be protected from the storm. And now we were going out to a fancy restaurant, knowing that he will return back home with me. A smile spread out on my face, and this fuzzy feeling in my gut returned at this thought.
I won't be alone over Christmas. And he either.
I told him that I want to help him, so he can get back a live; a job, a flat... I began to like him, and I don't want him out of my life. I... love his company, love to hear him laugh, and I cannot deny that our moment this morning was so... good.
A thought strikes my head, and I stood dead in my hall. Could it be that I wad... feelings for him?
I could see him as he was playing with Baya. He was bending down to her and she was laying on her back, chasing playfully after his hand. He was laughing at her, and it was pure joy. I smiled at this and I knew as I looked into his eyes; his beautiful, ruby eyes, shining with joy and happiness.
Yes… I was indeed falling for him.
"Good evening Sir. Do you have a reservation?" the croupier asked as we came into the lobby of the restaurant.
"Uhm, yes. It must be Mutou. A table for 2", I said. Yami beside me was still in awe about the restaurant. After we arrived at the bus station he wanted to know in which restaurant we were going, hoping not to go into those that turned him down. But I kept it a secret until we were standing in front of the skyscraper. At that point he knew in which restaurant we were going and hadn't said a word until then. He looked around in a curious manner, but paid enough attention so he won't miss anything from my actions. I only heard from this restaurant from Joey and wasn't here by myself at all, and I was astonished by the appearance of this restaurant. You had a beautiful view over downtown Tokyo, with all the lights on and the slowly falling snow. People were sitting on every table, put there was enough privacy given due to the immense room that were between each one. A few flower pots were standing loosely around the room, and in the middle there was a huge aquarium.
The croupier nodded after checking the reservation list and brought us to our table. It was a quite one near the aquarium; the other people around us couldn't hear us, and so could we. I was happy about this, so I could enjoy this evening with him and we won't be disturbed. Yami helped me to take my seat. I was surprised, but laughed at his actions. "Still a gentleman, are we?" I asked him playfully. With a smile he sat down in front of me. "Only because I live on the street doesn't mean that I lose my manners" he answered and looked around.
"Do you like it?" I asked him as he investigated the room.
"Well, yes. It's... wow. I heard about this restaurant before, but as you know I never got the chance to visit... Also it is a long time ago that I was a guest in a restaurant" he said was a smile.
We looked at each other. He put the make-up on the same way as I do – just a little bit around the eyes. He also put on some make-up to hide his wounds in his face, and also to try to hide his cheekbone. He looked healthier with it; although, he looked all in all healthier. I thought that I repeated myself, but I'm still astonished how well he got in these few days.
"Is this the reason why you mentioned 'The Chick and the Fish' yesterday?" he asked playfully. I smirked and nodded. "Yes. I knew that it is one of the best restaurants here in Tokyo, and my grandpa didn't pay me a visit in a long time. So I wanted to make this evening special. And after I got to know your cooking skills I really could imagine that you tried your luck here."
A small smile came up to his face. "You know, I really appreciate it that you like my cooking skills that much, but as I said yesterday, I'm not that good."
I sighed at this. He really underestimated himself there. Joey always brought food from his restaurants when he came by, and never did I ate so good as I did the last 2 days. But I believe that his time on the streets crushed his ego a lot…
"You look good."
With his compliment he brought me out of my thoughts and I looked at him startled. A small blush came into my face. I'm not used to get a compliment…
"Uhm, thanks. Your welcome… But you look good as well. In fact, you look so much better. You completely changed. It's so… awesome. I never thought that there would be such a nice man behind this big beard and this messy hair."
Yami had to laugh. "Do you think I should shave every day?" With that he strokes over his cheek, just as a to check if he shaved well today. I laughed at this. "Why not? Do you used to have a beard before you got on the street?"
Again, Yami laughed. "No! I shaved me every day. I think it doesn't suit me. And I also think it's more hygienic in the kitchen" he explained.
The waitress came to our table and brought us the menu and asked for our drinks. Both of us ordered a coke. We opened up the menu which was specialized for Christmas. There wasn't much choice, because the restaurant had specialized in some meals. I was quite surprised by that. Joey always wanted that his cooks could do a variety of meals – from lobster to burgers with fries. And now there wasn't much choice.
"What will you pick?" Yami asked as he looked over the pages. "I don't know… can you recommend me something?" As I looked over to him, I had to smile. He cleared his throat and gave his voice a fake French accent, as to imitate a fancy waiter.
"Well, sir, I would recommend you for the first course a soup. Number 4 is really good; it's a light one and is not so filling. For the second course Number 10 is really good. A fine breast from the duck with rice, along assorted vegetables from the season. Together with a dark sauce made with red wine is just perfect for the cold weather outside. For the third course the Number 17 is really good. I think you like hot raspberry with vanilla ice-cream?"
I was on the verge of bursting of tears, trying not to laugh out loud. This was just hilarious! Yami in front of me was laughing as well. And to fulfil the joke, we really ordered as he told it. "I hope half of this what I just said will make sense", he said, hiding his smiling face behind his hand. Whipping away a tear I reached forward with my other hand to grab his. "I think so. Why shouldn't it?"
After I looked in Yami's surprised eyes, I realize what I've just done. Why was I acting so bold the last days? But Yami just smiled. "Well normally I'm standing in the kitchen, making the meals that were ordered. I never thought about if it was a fitting 3-course-dinner."
I smiled at him and moved closer to him. "Well, we will see. And if it was bad, we'll just go and grab some burgers on our way home" I whispered jokingly. Yami smiled at this and squeezed my hand.
But he was so right in his choice. Every detail fitted so perfectly! It was a real perfect dinner. "You like it?" Yami asked me after I ended with my dessert. I took a sip from the red wine we got to our main course and smiled at him "It was so good! You really have a fine taste, Yami… But I think you could cook it better" I winked to him. He just rolled his eyes. "Believe me Yugi, those are much better cooks than I am. But I'm glad you liked it" he said. I just shrugged. In my opinion he was a better cook, and I exactly told him this. He threw me a kiss and we chuckled again.
"Who could cook better than my chef?" Suddenly a familiar voice said behind me. I turned around and stood up from my chair and was in big hug in no second.
"Joey! It's so good to see you again! How you're doing?" I asked him full of joy.
"Everything is alright, dude. May I take a seat? Where's grandpa?" he asked while he took an empty chair from the next table.
"Grandpa couldn't come due to the weather. And therefor I brought a friend of mine, if you don't mind?" I said and pointed in Yami's direction. Joey shook his hand and introduced himself.
"Hi! I'm Joey Wheeler, but just call me Joey. And you are?"
"Oh, I'm Yami Inô, but Yami is fine."
He looked over Yami and gave me a wink, knowing about my orientation. I blushed a little and asked him what his Sister was doing. We did some small talk together and after a while Yami excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom. That was the point where the bombardment started. Joey faced me fully and I know that if I didn't answer his questions he would asking me until judgment day come.
"Alright Yugi, who is this guy? I never have seen him in my life and you always introduced new friends to me. So tell me, who is he?"
I sighed. "Well, as he said, his name is Yami. I know him from the bus station and he promised me his accompaniment as grandpa said, that he wouldn't come."
Joey looked straight at me. "Since when did you know him? And please, tell me the truth."
I shrunk back into to chair, trying to get some more space between him and me. I knew that he wouldn't like my answer; but lying to him was no option.
"Since… 3 days?" I pitched out. Joey stared at me with wide eyes. "What?!"
"Please, Joey, don't judge him! He had a rough time… And I like him. He is really ok; you have to believe me!" I plead. After my last relationship Joey got over-curious over the man I got to know. Otherwise, he was always protective when it came to me. He was somehow my guardian since High School and watched out for me. He sighed and watched how Yami returned to our table. He cleared his throat and faced Yami.
"So Yami, what are you doing here in Tokyo? I mean, do you have a job or so?"
Yami tensed. "Well… I used to be cook, but since some time I'm without a job…"
"Oh, I'm sorry dude…" Joey said, and I know that he meant it.
"It's alright. I have thought about leaving this city and search in other places to find a job, but it is not as easy as it seemed."
Joey nodded and I lightly kicked him under the table. He looked at me and I pointed with my eyes on Yami. Hopefully he would understand and it wasn't too obvious for Yami what I've done. Joey mouthed an 'Ooh' and moved his gaze again to Yami.
"Hehe, maybe you're lucky sometime, eh? Maybe you're working for me in the future? Who knows? Can I contact you in any way?"
Yamis face lit up and he looked at me. I just smiled and nodded. Come on, accept this!
"Uhm, yeah… uhm -"
"Just call me and I will hand you over, okay?" I said as I felt that Yami hesitated to reveal that he couldn't contact him directly.
Joey nodded and stood up. "I'll look up and tell you soon, buddy. But guys, I have to go back now. Work doesn't blow up in flames and is done, right? See you!"
He gave me a high five and waved at Yami. "So, this is one of your friends?" Yami asked in disbelieve after Joey left. I nodded with a smile.
"Yes. I knew him since high school. We had a rough start, but now he is my best friend. He was the only one to whom I kept regular contact with after our graduation. And as you see, he became CEO of some restaurants around Japan. His boyfriend helped him very much to be successful."
"And… this is what you meant with Connections yesterday…" He concluded and I simply nodded. "Yes. Also it's the reason why I could judge good meals from bad meals. See, Joey is a person who's always hungry! And when he is dropping by he always brings food from one of his restaurants. So I've ate some fancy meals already. And Joey is simply happy to have as much food as he wants!" I said and we both laughed it this, although it was the truth! After we relaxed again he looked at me.
"Hm… could you imagine I really could work… for him?" he asked nervously. I sighed. "Well, I really do hope so, but as he said, he has to look it up. Let's just wait until we hear from him again, ok?"
Yami smiled at this, but there was an emotion behind this I couldn't recognize. What could that be?
"Thank you for your visit, sir. Hopefully you would visit us soon again and have a nice evening!" the croupier told us as we left the building. It was dark outside, and the snow had stopped falling. Because of the holidays and the later hour, the traffic wasn't persistent and so the city got the chance to glisten and gloom with the snowy surfaces. We walked together to the bus station; the place, where we first met. Yami wrapped his arms around him. "Man, I don't like this season…"
I had to chuckle. "As a Half-Egyptian I can understand that you prefer the heat over the cold."
"Yeah, and you have to wear so many clothes to keep yourself warm…"
Our eyes met for a moment, and we exchanged a small smile. "It won't take long and you can strip them down. Let's just hope that the bus will be there."
We walked in silence over a square with a small Christmas tree. I stopped in front of it, admiring the lights and the soft snow laying upon it. Yami joined me and followed my gaze.
"I really like Christmas. Even if we don't believe in the original meaning, it's a nice tradition to spend time with your beloved ones. Also it's so beautiful with the snow and the lights…"
"Yeah. And it's cold and freezing…"
I hit Yami playfully at the shoulder. My earnings were a low chuckle from him. "Don't be so pessimistic! Try to look on the light side of it! Come on!" I said to and stepped in front of him. He tried to think of something and made a funny face, but in the end he shook his head. I lay my hand on his arm and set up a light version of my puppy eyes.
"Do it for me, please?"
He laughed and looked at me, smiling. "Alright, uhm... I like Christmas because… people come together?" he suggested and shrugged. It didn't sound convincing at all, but I linked it fast and had to smile. "Right. Like both of us."
Surprised he looked at me. "Uhm, yes! I really didn't think of it in that moment!" he laughed and scratched his head sheepishly. If it wasn't for me I would assume that there was a light blush on his face, but it could also be from the cold. We stood a moment in silence, as he moved forward and took my hand in his own. His whole expression changed; he seemed to got serious, but also relaxed. His eyes were burning into my own and his smile was so soft and… loving? I drowned in those red seas, and I barely couldn't hear him as he whispered.
"Merry Christmas to you, Yugi…"
My own smile softened and I lightly squeezed his hand. "A merry Christmas to you too" I answered.
Again we stood there in silence. Along with the glistening surroundings, the light cold around us, and us nearly alone on this square… It somehow felt magical. My heartbeat rose as I looked further into his eyes, felt his warmth through are touching hands – even with gloves on. He seemed really happy, and it was beautiful to see. And I didn't question my feelings inside me anymore.
Yami stepped closer and I stopped breathing as he looked down to me, and pulling me into a loving embrace. It came naturally that I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled against his shoulder. "Thank you… for everything" he whispered into my ear. My grip on him got stronger and as I shook my head. But as I wanted to say something he cut me short. "Please, just take it. I know what you want to say. But do me the favour and just… take it. I cannot buy you a present or something, so please take my everlasting gratitude for what you've done for me, and will do for me… ok?" With a concerned look on his face he released me from his embrace.
I didn't know what to say. He really seemed to catch on fast, and can predict my actions. But well, on the other hand he lived with me the last 2 days… I nodded and looked up to him. "Ok. But only this time!" I said playfully and Yami had to laugh.
Together we moved along to the Bus Station. We still had a couple of minutes until we have to be there, so we took it slow and enjoyed our walk. But as we arrived at the station, Yami froze in his steps and looked horrified. "What's up?" I asked him and followed his gaze.
Next to the entrance stood a black van. The backdoors where wide open and 2 persons where walking around it. A police car was standing next to it, and an ambulance van was starting its engine and drove away. It seemed that something had happened. But what?
I looked up to Yami. He still stares with horror at the scene. "Is everything okay?" I asked him, afraid of his looking. Shakily he nodded his head, but kept up his stare. Something inside me won't believe him.
With a shaking voice, he asked me to go on, and without crossed the street without me.
Yep, there was defiantly something wrong.
We got into the bus silently. Due to the late hour the bus was nearly empty, so we decided to occupy a group bench for us. Yami hadn't talked to me since we saw that van. Worry crept up inside of me. "Yami, what's wrong with you?" I asked him, my voice slightly higher than usual. I couldn't deny that I was worried. With a heavy sigh he looked to me. You could still see the horror on his face, and his eyes weren't shining anymore.
"Those van – I knew it from before. It only meant that some of us didn't make it…" he said with a heavy voice.
A questioning look came to my face. I didn't understand. "Wh-what do you mean by that?"
He shifted his body, so he was now facing me. "It means that someone from us has died."
My gaze dropped, and I could feel how my heart went heavy in my chest. As Yami realized that I understood now, he shifted again and looked out of the window.
"I first encountered them nearly 3 weeks after I was completely alone. Baya and me where at a subway entrance as this van stopped in front of us. She got curious, but I held her back. A man came to me and asked if I was alright, and I nodded, not understanding what was going on. He asked me if I knew from other homeless people near me, but I told him that I was new and that I didn't know anybody of the homeless. He simply nodded and went on, advising me not to leave this place. Shortly after that the police arrived and the man was going underground with them. It took some time until the ambulance also arrived, but without horns or signals. They just parked behind the police and went also down. At that time another homeless man approached me and asked how long they were parking there. We talked a little and he explained me that the van was from an organization who would look after us homeless, but we were just too many to cover all. And when someone would find a homeless person in trouble, they would call them so they can look it up; but trouble simply means if they found a homeless man that seemed to be dead."
He sighed and looked over to me. "Soon the paramedics came back with a man lying on the litter, covered with a blanket. They drove away and the police followed soon after. The men from the van arrived with some bags and a small, terrified dog. They put the bags into the back of the van and carried the dog with them to the front. They gave us a sad smile as they drove away…"
I swallowed hard. "So… you think that they found… a dead person at the station?"
Sadly, Yami nodded. "Yes, a dead, homeless person. If it would be a corpse or it would look like a crime scene, we wouldn't have been able to enter. But for a dead, homeless person you couldn't shut down a whole station."
It was a strange feeling, to know that you just entered a building where someone died. Especially…
"Wait" I breathed as realization hit me hard. Yami also saw this and nodded again, but he looked away. You could see in his face that he was fighting against the tears; sadness and grieve was clearly visible in his face.
It was at the same bus station where I have found him.
It could have been him instead of this man…
My body tensed and I started trembling. I could feel this… unbelievable, sad feeling running through my body.
That was hard. And Yami knew it. He knew it right at the moment where he spotted this van.
I grabbed his hand and leaned on his shoulder. I just wanted to feel him somehow now. The thought of him being there at this bus station, and the potential of him being dead… I couldn't bear this thought.
More than ever I was glad that I asked him to come with me.
He squeezed my hand and gave me a sad, but grateful look. I tried to smile at him and we drove home in silence.