Everyday Life is Hell For Squall
Chapter 4: Martial Law
Our heroes reconvened at Timber because the Timber Owl's attempt on the President's life had caused the trains to stop running.
"So…" Started an annoyed Squall, having discovered something that severely pissed him off. "You mean we have to work for you until Timber gains it's independence?"
"Yup. That's right!" Replied a cheerful Rinoa.
'Urgh. I really need to figure out a way to kill this bitch…' In the distance, Squall heard some random gang fucker moaning about someone having stolen his 'sack'. 'Hey, I know!'
"Hey guys, I have to go… uhh, take a piss! Yeah, that's it so… uhh… wait here a sec!" Squall said hurriedly before running off. Rinoa looked disappointed that he's run off. Zell and Selphie just didn't really give a fuck.
Squall ran around a corner and waited until the retards were around another corner and out of site. "Hey!" He called to the random gang fuck. "I know who took your sack."
"WHAT?! WHO?! If you don't tell me I'll fucking piss on your ass and fucking skull fuck you. Then I'll drill a hole in your neck and piss in ut if you don't tell me!" Random gang fucker screamed.
"…The black haired girl with the crappy blue clothing thing with the wings on the back. She took it!" Squall told him.
"WHA-?! That little stupid sons of bitches 2 gil crack whore!" Random gang fucker snarled. "That's fucking it! My fucking life's new fucking ambition is to fucking kill that fucking little stupid sons of bitches 2 gil crack whore and get my sack back!" He screamed some other crap before running off to get equipped.
Squall ran and caught up to the others. Zell gave him an odd look. "Squall! You took fucking ages! What the hell were you doing?"
Squall glared. "…Whatever."
They walk around Timber for god knows how long, going to the Timber Maniacs and then to the Old Bitch's house.
"So… what do we do now?" Rinoa asks, the 'gang' as Zell had taken to calling them were currently hiding from the G-Soldiers in a room in the upstairs of the Old Bitch's house.
"We wait." Was Squall told them before walking into a corner so he could hide the smirk that had crossed his usual emotionless face. 'Soon… we will be rid of you.'
"What are you thinking about?" Rinoa asked.
"Nothing."
The Old Bitch came in. "Ok ya little fuckers. You can all leave now."
So they left the shit hole that was the Old Bitch's place and went to the bar. In the bar there was a drunken retard whining about shit no one cared about.
"Hey! Drunk retard, you want a drink?" Squall asked.
"Yeah." Replied the drunk.
"Well then, Zell." He said turning to face said person. "Why don't you buy our retarded friend here a drink?"
Zell smirked and grabbed a bottle from behind the counter a threw it at the drunk, it impacting a smashing against his forehead. Hew fell over unconscious a pool of blood beginning to drip from where the bottle hit. Zell's smirk turned into a retarded grin as he began to do the René Dupree dance over the drunk retard.
Squall cover his face with his hand and sighed. "…" He stood that for a while before he lowered his hand. "Zell. You are such a fucking retard."
This angered Zell, who thought that the dance was 'all that'. He lashed out with a punch aimed a Squall, who dodged. Zell kept punching and smashed another bottle, this time on his hand and runs out of the pub via the door the drunken retards unconscious body is lying in front of screaming like a little girl the whole way.
Squall sighed. "…" and then made a motion for Selphie and Rinoa to follow Zell. "You really are such a fucking retard." He and the two bitches came up to Zell up some stairs where he was looking up at a giant TV stupidly. Squall looked up to see Seifer trying to rape the President.
"Isn't this one of those new reality TV shows?" Zell asked.
Squall shrugged. "If it is, reality TV sucks."
Rinoa and Selphie joined them at the huge TV in time to see Quistis appear on it. "Squall, get your fucking ass down here!"
"Fuck…" Snarled an annoyed Squall. "Damn that Seifer, always having to make run around!"
As they began running up the stairs, an arm reached up and grabbed Rinoa's. She looked up to see the Random Gang Fucker. "What do you want?!" She screamed. "It doesn't matter what you do, my Squally wil-" was as far as she got before Random Gang Fucker pushed her over the edge.
"Hehe…" He chuckled darkly to himself. "Now, to take my sack back from your ugly little body and once I get it back, I could maybe…" He began to mumble to himself about random crap he could do with Rinoa's corpse.
At the TV Station, Quistis explained to the others what happened and Zell, being the retard he is, let slip the Garden their from. Then, the Sorceress showed her ugly ass.
"Fable child trying to do the work of man… but, he is afraid." She announced to Seifer.
"So?" He asked, not really caring.
Quistis chose that moment to run into the room. The Sorceress gave her a look and raised her hand doing some magic. Quistis once under the spell began doing the twist. The others ran in soon after and found themselves put under the same spell, with Zell doing the French Tickler, Selphie, the Macarena and Squall doing the Worm. "What the fuck?" He asked to no one in particular.
"Join me boy!" The Sorceress commanded Seifer.
Seifer shrugged. "Ok." And with that, he and the Sorceress left and everyone stopped dancing.
"So…" Quistis asked, "What do we do now?"
"Uhh… smoke a blunt? Have a sandwich? Take a nap?" Squall suggested.
"Squall." The rest all said in a gay sounding disappointed voice.
"Umm, we go to the nearest Garden, which would be the G-string Garden."
"Right!" announced Quistis happily. "Now let's go."
The four of them left the TV Station. At the bottom of the stairs they saw Rinoa rubbing her head, a small bump on it.
Off to the side of a near by building, Random Gang Fucker quickly retreated into the shadows and scowled. 'So the bitch isn't dead then? Fine. I'll stalk her until I kill her.' He smirked evilly at his new plan to get his sack back and laughed evilly as he walked away. He would kill the bitch who dared steal his sack!