Title: My Person (4/?)
Author: scones_better
Rating: PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)
Genre: Romance (with dashes of light angst)
Summary: When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.
AN: At last, part IV! I was moving out so that took a lot of my free time. When I finally got around to work on the fanfic, the first draft I wrote was absolutely dreadful and I had to completely rework it *coughrewriteitcough*. As usual you should all thanks the fabulous sosaith my amazing beta and made it readable for all of you!
My Person
Part 4: My Weirdest Meal
JD was happy; things were normal again. Okay, so he still didn't know why Dr. Cox had ignored him, but for now he was ready to drop it. He just wanted things to calm down a little before poking at the issue. The gossip about him had started to fade away too, for which he was grateful. At Sacred Heart, you could be on everyone's lips for a week then forgotten the next.
JD was walking next to Dr. Cox when a male nurse, a murse as he liked to call them, winked at him. A blush colored his face. While JD liked both genders, he still wasn't used to the attention he was receiving from his male colleagues. Well, okay, with his girly features he had had some attention from guys before but it felt different now that he actually was interested in them.
"For god's sake Delilah, stop blushing like you're some white virgin maiden! I know, the guys are giving you attention this month, but PLEEE-AH-SE trust me when I say this, they only do so because you are new on the menu. They will tire of you when they realize you are no different then the other pasty white boring gals around here."
JD's blush intensified; he didn't ask for the attention it just happened. Then JD's face lit up in a knowing smile. "Wait a minute. You've noticed guys checking me out?"
"Oh come on, a blind person could have noticed. They are not that slick."
"You know what's slick? The Todd's moves in the sack"
The Todd had popped out of nowhere as he usually did. He was wearing a rainbow colored bandana and holding his right hand out, ready for a high five.
"No high five, Dr. Cox?"
JD left while Dr. Cox gave a speech to the surgeon. He had to check on Mrs. Bloom. She had been a bit more cooperative ever since his coming out, but she still had a terrible temper. JD smiled a little; she had started to thank him, something she didn't do with anyone else, not even Carla who normally was adored by all her patients.
***
JD was sitting on the couch watching Harrison groom his hair in front of the living room mirror. He sighed in satisfaction. Work was going well, he had a fabulous boyfriend with a fabulous butt and he hadn't screwed up his love life just yet. It could not get better then this.
"Dr. Cox said he noticed guys checking me out. He said they aren't exactly subtle, but I still think he noticed because he cares, no matter what he says."
JD frowned when he heard Harrison sigh in irritation. Harrison was usually a happy person so this display of negative emotions was pretty unusual for him.
"What's wrong?" Harrison turned toward JD and looked at him intently.
"Nothing… It's just… JD, you always talk about Dr. Cox. I mean I get that he's important to you but I thought it would level out once you two were back to normal. Why do you care so much about his opinion of you or if he notices you? "
"I can't believe it. You, Harrison Kelso, are jealous of Dr. Cox. He is like a father to me!"
"Oh yes, all 33 years old men talk about their fathers in this glorified way you do! You crave is approval beyond measure! Heck, you even spend more time than you need to at the hospital just to be in his good grace! We barely go out anymore and we wouldn't have sex half the time either if I didn't instigate it. Actually, we wouldn't see each other all that much if I didn't make the effort."
"I never thought I'd say this to anyone in my life, but not everything is about sex you know! Whenever I try to bring some emotional stuff up you close off. You wouldn't have to make plans for us to meet all the time if you just had moved in, but noooo! That would mean we might actually be a long term couple and god forbid you would stop being this playboy that Kelso always talk about."
"Yes JD, you are the living proof that rushing things is totally the way to go! With all the stories I heard about you, I don't think you are well placed to judge me about how I deal with my emotions."
JD shut his mouth tightly and looked away, unable to look at Harrison. That comment stung more then the others. He knew people talked about him and his relationship mess-ups but he didn't know it was that bad. And here he was, messing up again. He knew Harrison wasn't completely wrong in his accusations but it bothered him that Harrison himself wasn't even able to talk about serious matters. Just when the silence was about to become too heavy, Harrison spoke again, in a much calmer voice.
"You are right. I'm sorry. I do believe that moving in together is too fast but you are right about me being too distant. But I do take us, you, seriously. As a proof of this, I want to invite you to a diner with my family."
"You are serious?"
"Dead serious"
"I don't think I have ever been so happy!"
"I'm glad you are saying yes. I was afraid you might not be to keen on the idea."
"Why? I clearly stated that I wanted us to be closer."
"Yeah well, personally I'd be afraid of having dinner with my boss, especially if he happened to be my boyfriend's father."
"Oh shizzle!"
JD had completely forgotten that Harrison's family were the Kelsos. His newfound smile lost of its shine at that realization.
"You forgot he was my father didn't you?"
"Yeah... Yeah I did"
Harrison gave him a kiss. JD could do this. He could.
***
"You are so going to get grilled!"
"Turk! Not encouraging!"
"I'm just glad I'm not in your shoes. Not only are you meeting your boyfriends family, his father is your boss. Oh my god. Does that mean that if you break up with Harrison you are going to get fired?"
"That would be unethical. Kelso would never… Oh god he would."
"You are so screwed."
"Now, now Newbie, how many times do I have to tell you that I REA-HA-LLY don't want to hear about the details of your very vanilla and geeky sexual life?"
JD squirmed in surprise. He hadn't heard Dr. Cox coming at all. He started walking with him.
"We were not talking about sex!"
"Don't care."
"Actually, I would love to get your input on this. I mean, you have known Dr. Kelso for years now… Is there anything I really should know to avoid problems with him or his wife?"
"I thought I had been clear on the hating Dr. Kelso and not associating with him or anyone who knows him part? Are you really going to make me repeat myself again, Juliet, cause I swear to god—"
"Yes, yes Perry, big speech. We heard it all before. I'm serious when I say you need to find something new. Oh and see you this evening, Dr. Dorian. I hope you like tuna casserole."
As Dr. Kelso walked away JD gulped. Tuna casserole was the devil's meal.
"You are going to Kelso's? Why don't you just bend over and take it while you're at it! I don't even understand how you got him to agree to something like that in the first place."
"Well, Harrison thought it was about time I met his family. We are starting to get serious, and that sounded like the right next step."
"Oh. Well good for you JD... Let's see how long it will take you to screw up this time."
JD was surprised at his mentor's attitude. His last insult had sounded so empty. JD knew that because he had spent the last few years being insulted daily by the older man. He could tell the different degrees of hate in them and this one had felt flat, like it had been added as an after though. JD didn't get to think about that much longer. His pager went off. He started running right away; a patient was crashing.
***
"JD your hair is perfect. Stop worrying, it's going to be fine."
JD let his hands drop to his side. He then decided to close the passenger seat's mirror before he got the urge to fix his hair for the hundredth time. Even though the ride to the Kelsos' was only about twenty minutes, JD felt like he barely had the time to breathe before they arrived.
The house looked like what JD had expected it to. Generous in size but not over the top, the house was clearly not modern but had been taken care of meticulously over the years. There were big green bushes surrounding it like gigantic walls made of leaves. JD thought it fitted Dr. Kelso's personality, as did the little stone angels ornamenting the lawn (the man did wear Hawaiian shirts after all).
They knocked on the door and in the few seconds it took Enid Kelso to answer, JD nearly fainted in nervousness. It occurred to him that it was one of the first times he met the family of one of his lovers. That did not help his stress level.
"Harrison! And you must be JD! Come in both of you! It will be a nice change to have handsome young men around me."
She smiled and rolled out of the way to let them in. JD was determined to not make any wheelchair jokes no matter how funny he thought they were. He had learned that lesson the hard way at the hospital in a traumatic incident that included a wheelchair, an angry patient, a TV show about Lindsay Lohan and pink chewing gum. He shuddered at the mere thought of it. He felt his boyfriend tug at his hand strongly and drag him into the dining room.
"If it isn't Dr. Dorian! Frankly, if I had known you swung that way I would have paired you off with Harrison the first year you were at the hospital."
"Dad!"
"What? Clearly I wasn't wrong now was I?"
"Haha. I didn't know I liked men at the time sir."
"I still don't understand how that was possible. I was actually surprised to learn you were straight."
"Robert, leave the poor boy alone. Or at least wait until he has had something to drink."
JD didn't feel too awkward but it was still a very bizarre situation. There he was, in a house that had been covered with floral patterns and lace tablemats, being teased by his boss in front of his lover. The evening unfolded itself in a semi-formal way. The Kelso were less proper than JD had expected but they still had a proud attitude to them. The conversations remained a bit uneasy until they finally got seated for the meal. When Enid placed the plate of tuna casserole on the table, JD grew nervous all over. He was going to have to force himself to eat it. There was no way around it but just the smell of it made him nauseous.
"Don't worry son, we always give our portions to Baxter." Dr. Kelso had leaned toward JD while his wife had gone to fetch the salt and pepper in the kitchen. The older man winked at him and sat himself straight again. After the obligatory questions about family background and childhood the conversation started to have a more relaxed feel to it. Eventually, after some pretty good sangria, JD got the courage to ask a question that had been on his mind for a while.
"Sir, you've been working at the hospital for quite a while and you have known many people there for many years now… I was wondering, how were they when they started? You know, Carla, Dr. Cox, Lavern…"
JD had expected to be scolded like it had been the case when he had asked those types of questions in the past but Dr. Kelso seemed keen on indulging him. He did have a lot of sangria too.
"Nurse Espinosa was always a pretty strong woman but she definitely had a hard time at first. She was so frustrated about the limitation her job had. She really wanted to do more for her patients. And there was that time she had decided that we should all learn Spanish and…"
Numerous hospitals stories were exchanged mixed with childhood memories about Harrison and souvenirs of Enid's bright nursing days. JD learned that Dr. Cox had initially aimed for an OBGYN specialization, which really had surprised him and immediately made him drift in a weird fantasy in which is mentor was pregnant, touching his round belly with his hands. He also learned that Lavern and Carla had hated each other's guts at first. There had been many catfights but they had united one particularly hard shift. Nobody knew why or what had happened but they became best friends that day. He also learned that Harrison had started to sew at a very early age and that he had a thing with shiny things that made him steal all his teacher's jewelry for many years. Enid had been a very promising nurse; she would have been head nurse if she hadn't married Dr. Kelso. And then of course there had been the accident.
The evening ended. JD shook hands with Dr. Kelso and was physically crushed by Enid's hug. That small woman sure had strong arms muscles. He silently thanked Baxter for eating his portion of casserole.
On the way home, JD noticed that Harrison was very quiet. They were taking their jackets off when JD started to get nervous again. Usually Harrison talked a lot, something JD loved about him.
"Did I talk about the hospital too much again?"
"No. No don't worry."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No. You didn't do anything bad, JD."
"Then why are you so quiet? I know things have been strained between us lately but I think tonight went great."
"Yeah it did." Harrison had a small smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. Then it was silent again. JD breathed in and decided to just go for it. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man.
"Harrison… I love you."
"Oh." Harrison shifted and pulled out of the hug a little.
"It's okay… I mean… You don't have to say it now or anything."
"JD… I'm sorry. I don't think it's going to work, us I mean."
JD looked at Harrison speechless. He had expected hesitation or maybe a freak out but break up had not crossed his mind even once.
"But…Why?"
"Listen JD, I grew up here. All those years, the only thing I could think of, was how I wanted to go away. It's not home here for me, it never will be. It's just not my world. I thought I could do it but I can't. That's why I could never bring myself to move in with you. Then it occurred to me, we could move in together in another city, but the more I listened to you the more I realized I could never ask that of you; it's your home, your people are here. Tonight really proved that to me. The way you spoke of you friends and coworkers and how you listened to my Dad's stories... They are your family. I just can't ask that of you."
"Of course they are my people, but I love you… Just give us a chance. If you feel the way that I do we can make this work."
"I'm sorry JD. I've been feeling unsure for a while. I've already put a deposit for a place in Vancouver… I just can't do this to you. I want you to be happy and I don't think you will be if you come with me."
"I'm unhappy now! This is not fair! Why did you wait so long to talk to me about this? Was I just a pit stop until you got better?"
"JD, no. I could have left the week after I got out of the hospital. I've been staying here for almost two months and it's all because of you. I never did that for anyone before."
"Then why can't you give me a chance? Please Harrison…"
"I'm sorry JD…"
Harrison was walking away. JD hurried behind him trying to grab his arm but he was out of the door before JD could do anything. JD stood there all evening, the door closed in his face, hoping.
***
JD woke up on the sofa, cell phone and home phone next to his head. It had taken him until three in the morning to finally fall asleep. He got up and when he passed by the kitchen he saw 5:00 on the oven's clock. He got cleaned up, determined to go to work and get through this shift without a scratch.
JD arrived early and grabbed his charts wanting to start the day as fast as possible. He did his rounds and chatted with his patients. Around seven he left his first message on Harrison's voice mail. JD avoided his friends has much as possible. Talking to them meant they would ask about the dinner at the Kelsos' and he wasn't ready for that just yet. What was he supposed to tell them? "Oh yeah dinner went just peachy. In fact it went too well for my boyfriend's taste. He decided to break up with me because he cares so much." Yeah. No.
"Katia! Are you going stare out into space all day or are you going to give me a hand with this?" Dr. Cox barked at him and JD was grateful. If his mentor could keep him busy all day he would take any shit the older man threw his way. He could handle that pain. It was nothing compared to the ache in his chest. Dr. Cox did keep him quite busy until lunchtime. At this point he disappeared on the roof, still unwilling to dump on his friends. He called Harrison again: no answer. He left another message.
The afternoon was slower but JD had piles of paperwork waiting for him. He brought them into one of the empty room they used for conferences. He did take a pause in mid afternoon to check on his patients one more time. His pager didn't go off once. He left another message on his boyfriend's voicemail. He continued working on his paperwork in the staff living room where he remained unbothered for the rest of his shift. He didn't see time pass by, his head blissfully clouded by the mind numbing job before him.
"Newbie, your shift's over."
"Oh yeah. I'm just finishing this one and I'll be out"
Dr. Cox waved his hand in his "I really don't care" way and left the room. JD called Harrison once more. Someone picked up.
"JD?"
"Oh, hi Mrs. Kelso. His Harrison around?" There was an awkward pause on the line.
"Didn't he tell you he left? He went to Vancouver? He took the plane this morning."
"Oh."
"He left his cell phone behind… Kept ringing all day. When I saw it was your name I thought it was odd… I'm so sorry sweety."
"It's okay. Thank you Mrs. Kelso"
He hung up. A few hours later, JD was done with his work. He was looking out the window; it was dark outside. He should have left four hours ago.
"Newbie? ...JD!"
JD shook his head and turned around to meet Dr. Cox tired gaze. He hadn't heard the man entering.
"Oh hi. I was leaving."
"Look Tabitha, you don't want to talk about it fine by me, I don't enjoy listening to your girly drama, but don't lie to my face, have some dignity."
"Why do you care anyway?"
The older man sighed. He turned around and just has he was leaving he glanced back "Well are you coming or what?"
"Hum, yeah. I just have to drop my papers at the nurses' station." He was answered by a grunt that he was quite sure meant "fine".
A few minutes later he was sitting in the Porsche, in the passenger seat nonetheless. JD was determined to not jinx this privilege. He didn't even ask where they were going. Dr. Cox wasn't too keen on the talking after all. They drove in silence. JD would have sworn his mentor kept glancing at him. They ended up in a part of the city JD wasn't too familiar with, and they stopped at a breakfast joint.
"Breakfast? It's like, what, 11 pm?"
"If you're not happy you can walk home."
"No. No. Breakfast is great."
They were seated in a quiet corner of the 24hr breakfast restaurant. A calm waitress brought them menus. Dr. Cox ordered his coffee and JD asked for a hot chocolate. It was silent until the waitress came back to take their orders.
"Western omelet with hash browns." Western omelet? JD was surprised but he didn't know what he had been expecting his mentor to order.
"Chocolate pancakes with whipped cream please!"
JD smiled at the woman. No need to be mean to her just because he was feeling like shit. He looked around. The walls were painted a flashy yellow color and covered with posters and photos of food. There were odd garden dwarfs decorating the place. The silence continued even when they received their food. JD was sure now that his mentor was watching him.
"So Mary-Jane, now that you have busted your sugar limit for the week in one single meal, feel like emptying your heart?"
JD was glaring at the older man, but he noticed there was a hint of concern in his face. Why else would he have brought him to a breakfast joint at this hour after a long shift when he could have gone home and watched sports on his TV or went out at the bar for a few beers?
"I just thought this time would be different."
"I'm guessing the dinner didn't go too well."
"No actually it went pretty good. Dr. Kelso gets pretty talky after his seventh glass of sangria."
"Then why the heck are you moping about?" His mentor seemed angry.
"I told Harrison I loved him. He dumped me after saying he couldn't live here and he cared too much about me to ask me to move away with him. Oh and then he told me he was leaving for Vancouver. He apparently had made a deposit on a place there."
JD waited for Dr. Cox's speech. He knew he was in for an earful about either being a girl or having screwed up again. He braced himself to have his dignity ripped to shreds because frankly it was still better then being alone in his place.
"Good riddance."
JD blinked. Did he hear that right?
"I have no respect for wimps. Running away from a problem is pure cowardice."
"But ignoring someone for three weeks isn't."
JD regrets his words as soon as they were out. Not because they weren't true, they were, but because Dr. Cox was clearly trying here and JD was ruining it. His mentor growled.
"I never said it wasn't."
There was an awkward silence while Dr. Cox paid the bills, not letting JD pay for his portion. They drove in the same odd silence until they reached JD's apartment. JD was starting to get angry with his mentor for being so closed off about the issue. After Harrison, closed off people weren't exactly what he wanted in his life. JD was opening the door when Dr. Cox started talking again.
"Look JD. I'm not proud of what I did. I was a bastard about it and I know it. Heck I had to talk about it to my shrink because I knew it wasn't good for either of us."
"You are aware we will have to talk about it eventually?"
"Yes. I know. I wouldn't expect anything different from you."
JD watched his mentor. He was glancing at him in that same way he did in the restaurant. Now JD was seeing some hesitation in the older man's eyes.
"JD…"
JD felt a shiver pass his spine. What was he going to say? It seemed important. Maybe he would tell him why he had treated him the way he had?
"…Take care"
Oh. Either he had chickened out or that was harder for him to say than JD had expected.
"You too."
JD closed the door and left for his apartment.
AN2: Well, I was intending on leaving you all on a painful cliffhanger but after a second read I felt that this ending was closer to the truth. I know, I'm a tease ;) Sorry gang. On the bright side, we will now focus on the JD/Cox part of this fic. Stay tuned for part 5! As usual commentaries and reviews are more then welcome!
A huge thanx to the fallowing people for Faving/Alerting this story:
Tigress of India, Ruthybabe, Oomph22, Love- Sammii Cullen x, Tiffany123, tyger666, Cuttooth, Graffiti2DMyHeart, Gracie Grapefruit, Cold-Creature, Joanna Hepler, PyroD, Madame Crim, Tiffany on the Moon, MadiG, Acelia Illumit, Sanhedrin, orange sheep of the flock, rosecircle79, Hulabaloo, hentai18ancilla, Reader One, CelestialStorywriter, zaney42, aramiis, Rainbow Stripes, manwithasqueegee, mnolheart, oneandlonely, iTiffany19, angelaumbrello and XxKuroxXxNekoxX