Thanks so much for all of the reviews last chapter! You guys are all fabulous.
Incident: The Bet
It had all started with Genesis and a casual comment. "You know, they say that you can't eat eight Saltine crackers in a minute."
"No way, I could totally do that," Zack said sitting up to face Genesis.
"Why is it impossible?" Sephiroth inquired as he looked up from the newspaper that he was reading.
"I guess it's because they're so dry and salty. It makes it hard to swallow," Genesis said with a shrug.
"I could so do that."
"No way, pup," Genesis said.
"I can. Want to bet?"
"Sure," Genesis said with a smirk. "What are we risking?"
"If I win, you have to cross-dress and sing a song of my choice."
Genesis' eyes narrowed. "Where?"
"In the cafeteria," Zack said with a devilish smirk.
"Okay. But if you can't eat all eight, then you have to dance in the cafeteria at lunch time in a bikini."
"Deal," Zack said offering his hand, which Genesis shook with a wicked smile on his face.
"Deal," the auburn repeated.
"Okay, let's go get these crackers!" Zack said as he bounded out of his seat and skipped down the hall to the cafeteria with Genesis and Sephiroth trailing behind them.
Zack walked up to the one of the cafeteria workers and asked for eight crackers. However, the lady refused to just give them the crackers, saying that they could only give out two with each bowl of soup. Thus, the SOLDIERs ended up having to order four bowls of soup just to get the eight crackers.
Once they had dumped out the oddly purple colored soup, they took their seat.
"Sephiroth, you can time me," Zack said, not really trusting Genesis with that task when the stakes were as high as they were.
"You only get one minute, puppy," Genesis reminded him as he helped Zack to remove the crackers from the plastic wrap.
"Are you ready?" Sephiroth asked, after Zack had stacked the crackers in front of him.
"Yup," he said.
"Proceed," Sephiroth said and Zack immediately stuffed three crackers into his mouth.
"Gross," Genesis said, turning away from Zack's open mouth chewing to look at Sephiroth.
"What is the point of this activity?" Sephiroth asked. "Do you wish to see Zack in a bikini?"
Genesis' eyes widened and he choked on air before gasping out a frantic, "No!"
"Then why are you doing this?"
"To embarrass him," Genesis said. "To prove to him that he's not the best at everything."
"I see," Sephiroth said, although he still didn't quite understand.
"Done!" Zack yelled banging his first on the table.
"54 seconds," Sephiroth said as his eyes flickered to his watch.
"What?" Genesis gasped as he glanced frantically between Zack and Sephiroth.
Zack laughed at his expression. "Will you need help picking out a dress?" Zack teased as he snatched up a nearby glass of water and then proceeded to chug it.
"No," Genesis growled and then banged his head against the table.
Lesson Learned: Never bet against Zack Fair.
Incident: Movie Night
"Oh my god!" Zack squealed as he hugged a pillow. "That was so cool."
"Shouldn't he be dead by now?" Genesis asked through a yawn.
"What?" Zack snapped, rounding on Genesis. "He's the hero. He's not going to die."
"Well, so far it appears that he has lost at least two gallons of blood, and since the average person only has a little over five litters, he's should be dead," Genesis retorted.
"That is an abnormal quantity of blood," Sephiroth agreed.
"Ah, you guys are missing the point!" Zack cried. "He's the good guy. He's going to keep fighting no matter how injured he is."
"Maybe he's a zombie," Genesis said as he stared, perplexed, at the screen.
"Or perhaps this is just a poorly made film," Sephiroth offered dryly.
"Poorly made? Poorly made!" Zack echoed in horror. "This is my favorite movie! It's fantastic."
"This is just weird. Is there even a plot?" Genesis inquired.
"It just seems to be violence and explosions," Sephiroth added.
"What? No! There's a plot. He's got to kill these guys and rescue the girl," Zack explained waving widely at the screen as the hero ran across a battlefield of corpses, nimbly dodging bullets.
"Why?" Sephiroth asked.
"Why? Because he's the hero!"
"How is he not getting shot?" Genesis asked. "How could their aim possibly be that bad? He's hardly moving."
"He's just that good," Zack explained.
"Can you guys just shut up and watch the movie?" Angeal, who had been silent until now, snapped.
"This is a stupid movie, why am I watching this anyway?" Genesis grumbled as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the couch.
"I was shocked that you agreed to this," Angeal said shooting Genesis a curious glance. He usually avoided Zack's crazy movie nights like the plague.
"I believe you were blackmailed," Sephiroth said.
Genesis' eyes widened and he tensed as Angeal turned completely to look at him.
"What did you do?" He asked his childhood friend suspiciously.
"Nothing, Sephiroth was kidding, weren't you?" He said looking at Sephiroth with slightly panicked eyes.
"Sephiroth, what's going on?" Angeal asked.
"Nothing," Genesis hissed nudging Sephiroth with his elbow in an attempt to keep him quiet.
"Sephiroth?" Angeal inquired softly. He knew that Sephiroth wouldn't lie to him. He was sure however, that Genesis was lying to him, and that made him very concerned. What could Genesis have done that would make him feel the need to hide it from his closest friend?
Sephiroth wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to lie to Angeal, but obviously that is what Genesis wanted him to do. He felt torn, but in the end he decided to tell the truth, or at least part of it. "Genesis and Zack had a bet," he said finally.
"Sephiroth!" Genesis yelled, sounding betrayed and frustrated.
"And he lost, so he had to watch this movie?" Angeal asked, not understanding why that was such a big deal. The movie wasn't that bad. "What was the bet about?"
"No, he's watching the movie with me to try and get on my good side. The bet was about cracker eating," Zack supplied. That answer failed to clear up any of Angeal's confusion.
"I thought we had a deal," Genesis hissed to Zack.
"Yea, well you're not really holding up your end. You keep whining about the movie."
"I'll stop, I promise."
"What are you hiding?" Angeal asked, feeling completely out of the loop.
"Pictures," Zack said brightly as Genesis sighed in defeat.
"What pictures?" Angeal said uneasily.
"This," Zack said, pulling out his wallet and handing a folded picture to Angeal.
Angeal unfolded them and then stared at the picture for a moment, not understanding their importance. Why had Zack given him a picture of a random woman? Wait. Oh. "Genesis?" He breathed.
Genesis let out a moan and covered his face with his hands.
"Wow," Angeal laughed, not knowing what else to say as he glanced between the auburn SOLDIER and the picture.
"Stop it," Genesis grumbled. "Letting you take pictures was not part of deal, Zackary."
"You're just lucky Reno smashed my video camera," Zack said with a poorly concealed laugh.
"You actually make a fairly attractive woman, although your shoulders are too wide," Angeal said, trying hard not to laugh.
"He also has a surprisingly good singing voice," Zack offered.
"I hate you all," Genesis said and then without warning, he lunged across the sofa, diving across Sephiroth's lap, and quickly snatched the picture from his friend's hands. Flames burst around Genesis' hands and the photos disintegrated in into black ash.
"There's no need to waste materia," Angeal chastised, although he was still laughing.
"And I have more copies of that," Zack said smirking at Genesis.
Genesis groaned as he fell back into his seat. "I really hate all of you."
Lesson Learned: There are no secrets among friends.
Incident: Frisbee
"Sephiroth, I am shocked that you partook in this," Shinra said as he looked down at the four SOLDIERs that stood in front of him. "And you Angeal. I am surprised, and disappointed, in you too."
Genesis and Zack exchanged looks questioning their negative reputation.
"Sorry, sir," Angeal said and Sephiroth nodded slightly.
"So you…" the President paused as he looked down at the report in front of him. He glanced up at the SOLDIERs and then back at the sheet before continuing in a confused voice, "were playing Frisbee on the roof… against the Turks?"
The four SOLDIERs nodded slowly.
The President just stared at them for a minute. "And you managed to cause thousands of dollars worth of damage," he continued gravely.
"It was Reno's fault. He should have been able to catch that," Zack said quietly.
"Sorry, sir," Angeal said again quickly.
"That's coming out of you four's salary," the President snapped as he glared at the four of them. "This is not the kind of behavior that I expect out of the SOLDIERs. You are all a disgrace to Shinra."
"We understand," Angeal said shoving Zack slightly to keep him from protesting.
"Alright then. I'm a busy man so you're dismissed," the President said waving a hand at them and the four hurried for the door.
"Wait," the President said and they all froze in the doorwar. "Did you at least win?"
"Yup," Zack said smiling happily. "Ten to six!"
"Good. Now get out of here."
Lesson Learned: Sometimes it's fun to break the rules.
Incident: The Puppy
"Can I keep him? Huh? Huh? Angeal, please?" Zack whined as he held a scrawny black and white dog in his arms. It had a long face and floppy ears that seemed too big for its tiny head. It squirmed happily in Zack's arms. "I found him on the street in a cardboard box near a dumpster. Someone threw him out, Angeal!"
Angeal pressed a hand against his face; he knew a battle was coming.
"Birds of a feather flock together," Genesis muttered from behind Angeal.
The dog licked Zack's face and the young SOLDIER giggled.
"Zack, we can't have a dog," Angeal said trying to sound firm.
"Please," Zack begged.
"Zack, you live in an apartment," Angeal reminded him, trying to be rational and ignore the overpowering cuteness that was radiating from Zack and the puppy.
"I'll take him out all the time," Zack promised.
"You don't have that much free time. A dog is a lot of work and a puppy is going to be a ton of work."
"Please. I'd make time for him. I promise."
"You go on missions a lot. What are you going to do when you're away?"
"You could take care of him," Zack said shooting his legendary puppy eyes at his mentor.
"What if we're both on missions?" Angeal tried his best not to let the adorable puppy eyes faze him.
"Then Sephiroth and Genesis can take care of him." The squirming dog let out a yip.
"Whoa, I'm not taking care of that dog when I finally get a break from the puppy," Genesis said turning away from the unbearable cuteness that was the squirming puppy.
"I do not know how to take care of this… creature," Sephiroth said as he eyed the small dog who abruptly let out a high pitched bark. Sephiroth took a step back so that Genesis was between him and the little creature.
"He's not just a creature Seph, he's a puppy!" Zack said happily as he approached Sephiroth with the puppy. "Want to hold him?" Zack asked.
"No," Sephiroth said eyeing the animal uncertainly.
"Aw, don't be a stick in the mud. You know you want to hold the puppy," Zack cooed.
"No, Fair. I am quite sure I do not want to hold that squirming creature," Sephiroth said.
"Aw, but you won't really know until you try," Zack said pushing the puppy at him. It stretched out its little head and licked Sephrioth's hand.
Sephiroth sighed in defeat. He had already learned that there was no opposing Zack once he was determined to do something, so he scooped up the little puppy into his arms.
"Aw, aren't you cute," Zack purred in a baby voice to the puppy who barked in response causing Zack to laugh.
"He's adorable Zack," Angeal said. "But you can't keep him. We can't keep a dog here at a military headquarters."
"Aw, but I can't leave him out there to die on the streets!"
"We'll just have to find him another home," Angeal said rationally.
Footsteps echoed on the tile floor behind them and a door squeaked as Lazard entered the room. "Ah, Zack, just the man I was looking for. I need to talk to you about your last mission," he said and then he stopped as he spotted Sephiroth holding the squirming puppy. It let out a happy yip. "Why do you have a puppy?" He asked. Part of him was fearing the answer.
"I found him," Zack chirped. "We need to find him a home."
Lazard blinked. So this is what the four greatest killing machines did in their spare time – they found homes for abandoned puppies. He just shook his head. "Zack, my office," he said and then he left the odd scene behind him.
"Take care of him while I'm gone," Zack called as he skipped off after the Director, leaving the three Firsts with the real puppy.
"Well, what are we going to do now?" Genesis asked.
"I'll go ask around and see if anyone is willing to take on a puppy," Angeal said as he turned to leave. "You just keep him from peeing on the carpet."
Sephiroth grimaced and then tried to hand the puppy off to Genesis who held up his hands. "I don't want him."
"I do not know what to do with him," Sephiroth said. "Did you not grow up on a farm?"
"I grew up on an apple orchard, not a farm. We never had a dog, my mom didn't like them. We had a cat, Miss. Alice."
Sephiroth could see Genesis as a cat person… and address it by "miss." The only thing that surprised Sephiroth is that the feline wasn't named after Loveless in some way. Maybe the cat predated his Loveless obsession. He wondered when Genesis' Loveless obsession began, although he didn't bother asking. He had other things on his mind at the moment, like the puppy peeing on his leather jacket. So instead he asked, "What am I supposed to do with him?"
"I don't know. Just sit him down," Genesis suggested. "It has legs, I presume."
Sephiroth awkwardly sat the puppy on his own four feet and immediately the dog took off running down the hallway.
"I believe we should follow it," Sephiroth said.
"This is all Zack's fault," Genesis muttered as they took off after it.
It took the two SOLDIERS fifteen minutes of searching, and in Genesis' case, fifteen solid minutes of complaining, to locate the puppy.
"Let's name it Zack," Genesis said as he scooped up the puppy into his arms after they found it scrounging around in an overturned trash can. "It's proven to be annoying enough to deserve that name." It twisted around in his arms to lick his face. "Gross," Genesis muttered as he tried to thwart the puppy's attempts at showing affection.
"What do we do now?" Sephiroth asked, eyeing the wriggling animal.
"I don't know, but when Angeal returns, let's make him take care of him. He has experience dealing with dogs."
"Did he have a dog growing up?" Sephiroth inquired.
"No, I meant he had experience dealing with Zack," Genesis said with a laugh.
"So what do we do until then?" Sephrioth asked.
"I don't know, but I'm not letting this guy shed all over my room."
Sephiroth surveyed the dog for a minute and then sighed. "We can take him to my room."
"Alright. I'll carry him there then," Genesis said and they set off to the elevator.
After waiting for a minute or two one of the elevators finally opened before them. Its only occupant was Reno.
He eyed the two SOLDEIRs and the puppy as they casually stepped onto the lift.
"What's with the dog, yo?" he asked.
"Oh, it's Zack," Genesis said casually.
"Zack? You mean the crazy 2nd Class SOLDIER?" Reno asked jokingly.
"Yes," Genesis answered seriously but with the barest hint of a smirk. "An experiment with materia kind of went south, if you know what I mean. But Hojo said it would probably wear off in a few hours so don't worry about it," Genesis lied smoothly while Sephiroth shot him a confused glance.
"You're serious, man?" Reno asked as he stared at the puppy in shock.
"Hm," Genesis hummed. "Can't you tell it's him?"
The puppy barked loudly as if in agreement.
"Wow, I guess it does kinda look like him," Reno said as he looked closely at the puppy.
Genesis glanced at Sephiroth, his eyes sparkling with mischief and his lips pressed together tightly to stop himself from laughing.
The elevator slid to a stop and Reno took a step forward then stopped and reached out a hand to pat the puppy on the head. The puppy let out a low growl and Reno yanked his hand back and then hurried out of the elevator.
The second the doors shut Genesis burst out laughing. "You're not so bad," he cooed to the puppy as he rubbed its furry back with a gloved hand as the puppy's tail wagged wildly.
"Why did you lie to Reno?" Sephiroth asked.
Genesis laughed. "Because it's Reno. You mean you didn't think that was hilarious? He actually believed me!"
The dog yipped loudly from Genesis arms as the elevator halted once again. They stepped out of the lift and almost ran straight into Angeal.
"Hey guys," he said. "It turns out that Tseng loves animals and is willing to take him."
"That is good news," Sephiroth said.
"Great," Genesis said pushing the puppy into Angeal's arms. "And you can tell him that if he ever needs someone to watch him while he's on a mission and Zack's not around, I'll do it."
"Oh. That was a quick change of heart. I thought you didn't like dogs," Angeal said in confusion as the puppy licked at his face.
"I like this dog," Genesis said with a smile as he turned and walked away.
"He wants to annoy Reno with him, I believe," Sephiroth said.
Angeal sighed. He knew it would be something like this. "What did you do this time, Gen?"
Lesson Learned: Even puppies can be used for evil.
Please review! Also, please leave suggestions if there is an incident you would like to see and please tell me if I made a mistake or typo. Constructive criticism (and of course compliments) are always much appreciated. Finally, thanks to Nanakichan for the suggestion of the puppy and Mel for suggesting a game against the Turks, which made me think of the frisbee incident.