Denali
My fourth race across the continent was different from my previous ones. I was surrounded by the comforting presence of my favorite car, despite the numerous adulterations brought about by Rosalie's efforts to keep me safe. I could feel the lingering remnants of Jasper's gift deep within me, helping to hold me together. But the biggest difference was that I was looking forward instead of looking back. I wasn't running from anything. I was…hunting.
I should have thought of it as tracking. It put a kinder veneer on an activity which was generally accepted to mean hunting down your prey without the intention of killing it. Hunting was second-nature to vampires, who gave themselves over regularly to the mindless joy of it. Tracking was more difficult, and meant keeping your mind fully engaged in the task, and bringing to bear the full and impressive extent of your vampire-sharpened intellect, not just your amazing senses. At every moment, you had to check your basic instinct to give in to your animal side – the monster within.
Due to my misguided past, I had a lot of experience in exactly this kind of tracking. I had spent a decade haunting the larger northern U.S. cities, looking for the worst humanity had to offer. I once tracked murderers, rapists, abusers, drug pushers, human traffickers, and the truly viciously insane across every industrial wasteland I could find. I had to be certain they were worthy of my dark, deadly gift. I was always certain, before I let the monster free to exact its vengeance for all the victims I had been forced to witness. All the screams and the pain….
I had thought that part of my existence was past. My emotional control wasn't at its best at the moment, but my past experience would help. I hoped I could rein in the bloodlust enough to keep myself tracking, and not hunting, when it came to Laurent. I had failed to do so when it came to the final confrontation with James, and it had almost cost Bella her life.
My hands tightened on the steering wheel, leaving a light imprint. No, I couldn't allow myself such weakness again.
I knew that killing Laurent would not help me to find Victoria. Further, if Laurent had truly committed himself to the vegetarian lifestyle and joined the Denali clan, then I would be killing a family member as well - an unforgivable act. I knew that in my head, but when it came to the choice between my family and my dearest love…well, I knew who would win. It saddened me, but it was true. One hundred years of kindness and love, and I would give up Carlisle for Bella in an instant.
With an impatient sigh, I focused myself again on the road. It seemed I was now able to think about Bella without losing control of my senses. Her missing presence was always around me, everywhere I looked. Anything warm, anything soft, and especially anything beautiful seemed to bring her into my focus, such that it clouded my vision, and distracted me momentarily from my purpose. But the combination of Jasper's gift and my newfound reason for existing had made it something I could bear…without the slow decent into insanity I had resembled for so long.
My thoughts whirled and the scenery changed during the drive, from forest to plains, and then to cold, high prairie. The weather suited my mood, and I glared out at the unforgiving landscape with dark, cold eyes. There was no kindness in me for Laurent, even if he had changed his ways. He had traveled with James and Victoria for decades. He was not worthy of my kindness. If he proved helpful, then I would begin to forgive him his past choices.
Getting the information I needed from Laurent was not going to be easy, I knew. While he had gone to the extent of warning us about Victoria and James, he hadn't been willing to advise us beyond that, or to help us in our struggles against them. From my brief glimpses into his mind, I could guess why.
Vampires who traveled together many years tended to form emotional bonds with their companions. While these bonds were nothing compared to the ties of a family like my own, or the connection between mates, they were enough to engender a feeling of loyalty and trust. I understood it mostly from witnessing the relationship of Jasper to Peter and Charlotte. Shared travails led to an understanding of each others' strengths and weaknesses, and a willingness to trust in difficult situations. It kept most covens together longer than would be possible otherwise.
The relative strength of Laurent's remaining loyalties to Victoria versus the new bond he had formed with my extended family in Denali would be very important. It would determine what methods I would need to use to extract information from him.
I had spent my last night in Ithaca with Jasper, Alice, and Emmett assessing vulnerabilities – places where my tentative plans could go wrong. By the end of it, poor Alice had retired from our discussions, complaining of a headache from the so many changes of vision she'd experienced. We were reasonably certain that we'd come up with a plan that wouldn't fail immediately, but I continued to turn the possibilities over and over in my mind as I drove, looking for weak points we hadn't yet anticipated.
I took a more southern route than I would have liked, as the snows were blanketing the less traveled northern routes, making them impassible for an Aston-Martin, regardless of the skill of the driver. I traveled through the U.S. to Montana, crossed over into Canada, and passed through Edmonton and Calgary before picking up the Alaska Highway in Dawson Creek, British Columbia. The terminus of the Alaska Highway was in Delta Junction, Alaska, close to Fairbanks, which would be my center of operations for Denali. Fairbanks was a good choice for several reasons – first, enough visitors came to Fairbanks that I wouldn't stand out quite as much picking up supplies, and second, it was far enough away that the Denali clan wouldn't immediately sense my presence there.
Regardless, visitors here were rare enough in late November that I attempted to keep as low a profile as possible. I checked into a resort property which featured scores of generally featureless cottages overlooking the Chena River, not far from downtown. Silently and under the cover of the ubiquitous darkness, I transferred all of my communications and tracking gear into my new headquarters, and began set-up. Before long, I had established a direct electronic link to Jasper's headquarters in Ithaca.
"Edward," Jasper breathed, when I finally patched through to him. He must have been waiting for me.
"I'm here, Jasper," I stated flatly. I should have been glad to hear from Jasper, who had proved my closest ally these past few weeks. But instead, all I felt was the coldness of the task at hand. Jasper, however, didn't seem to care. He was focused on the mission too.
We conducted a few general tests of the equipment, which worked perfectly. Really, it was amazing considering the beating it'd taken over the last couple days. Even the Aston-Martin was looking a little rough.
"Can I get the others? They'd like to hear from you," Jasper ventured cautiously, as I was about to end our connection.
Apparently, Alice had been doing a better job of keeping out of my future with me so distant.
"No thanks," I bit out sharply. "I know you and Emmett have good intentions, but I'd rather do this by myself, as much as I can."
A silence from Jasper's end meant that he was thinking. Eventually, he ventured, "Edward, I don't doubt your abilities in the slightest. You've always been one of the most resourceful and level-headed members of the family. So I don't mean to imply that you can't do this alone, if that's what you really want."
He paused for just a moment before continuing, "I just want to make sure that you know that we are willing and ready to support you, in wherever this takes you. If we have to give up our lazy, comfortable existence playing house with Carlisle and Esme, we'll do that. You can count on us, you know."
Here he was clearly talking about himself and Alice, not Emmett. He meant that he and Alice were willing to join me in my quest, if I were to ask them. Originally, I'd said I wanted to go it alone, and not get the whole family involved. He wasn't challenging that. But he was offering me another alternative. A leaner, more agile one, now that Emmett wasn't hovering around us so hopefully.
I closed my eyes to envision it for a split-second. Alice and Jasper would be such amazingly useful people to have with me. Their gifts would make this so laughably easy. I loved them, and they were easy company to keep.
"Edward," he added, "you don't have to do this alone."
I needed them, in so many ways. I needed the meager light and warmth I felt when I was around them. It was something that had been lacking in my life. Something I'd lost completely since I'd left Bella, the only person who could ever truly warm me, and make me feel complete and whole.
The world hung for a split second.
No. The strength of the thought reverberated throughout me. I was not that Edward anymore – one that lived in the warmth. I would never be that Edward again.
"Edward, are you still there?"
I forced myself to remember the coldness of my earlier tracking experiences. I had become a true monster during those years, as much from the horrors I was constantly witnessing as from the human blood drained and savored. I didn't want Jasper and Alice with me when I became that monster again. I didn't want to drag them down into that hell. I had to protect them - Jasper, with his keen sensitivity, and Alice, with her intense love. They were exactly who needed to be kept away.
If I was going to beat Victoria at her own game, I would have to become worse than the worst I had ever been. I would have to embrace the darkest coldness I had ever experienced. I knew with a certainty that losing Bella had drained me of so much that was good and right, that it wouldn't even be all that difficult. I would become the most dangerous thing out there. I had to be.
"Yes, Jasper, I'm still here. But the answer is no. I want to be alone." My voice was cold and hard, and echoed in the lonely room. "I'll keep you updated," I added, and ended the connection with a sharp click.
Time to get to work, I thought. I was ready now.
That week, I holed up in my cottage during the day and did all of my business when the local human population was mostly asleep. The first night, I broke into an import garage, got the Aston-Martin back into shape, and checked it into a heated storage unit, hoping that I would need it again.
The following nights, I ghosted out across the new snow, leaving no footprints, and no discernable trail, attempting to find the outermost edge of the Denali settlement, where I could hear their inner voices, but yet not be noticed myself. I tracked my progress with GPS and as agreed I sent the data back to Jasper, who sent back suggested routes for my next foray. The progress was painfully slow, but necessary. One false move and my cover would be blown. I didn't want to face the clan unless I had to.
The first week passed into the second, and all was continuing according to plan. With Jasper's input, I had mapped the usual paths of the Denali clan into and out of their territory by assessing faint markers left by their passing and occasionally catching a stray thought as they traveled past. Some of the paths I remembered from my times of living with them, and some had been added more recently.
I was now comfortable enough with my base of knowledge to consider testing a number of carefully chosen "listening posts." These posts could be accessed using routes that would not intersect the normal travel paths, and were hopefully close enough to allow me to listen in to their day-to-day activities undetected.
I would spend no less than three days in the first post, listening, before deciding whether to move on to my second location. While I didn't figure that I would hear anything about Victoria during the period, I was hoping to gauge Laurent's relationship with the Denali clan, and get a better idea of the man himself.
The Denali clan was not as large as my family, but was growing with time. Tanya, with whom I was most familiar, was the de facto leader, accompanied by her sisters Irina and Kate. Rounding out the clan were Carmen and Eleazar, and of course the target of my surveillance, Laurent. While Kate and Eleazar had unusual vampire abilities like Alice, Jasper, and I did, I didn't think any of their talents would be able to help them notice my quiet watch.
I caught just the barest mental buzzing from the clan house as I got into the first position. I concentrated, and found the frequencies that fit the buzz. It looked like this location would give me a good start. I planned to dance lightly amongst the five voices I knew, while periodically attempting to tune in to the one foreign voice amongst them, Laurent.
The sisters were always the easiest to pinpoint, resulting from the time I had spent with them in the past. Even at this long distance, I could unravel their sometimes similar voices and pick up the distinguishing characteristics that separated them. Tanya's voice was bold and confident, with just the barest underpinning of sadness under her bravado, a remnant of the loss of her mother and the sad circumstances surrounding that loss. Irina's voice was less aggressive, but of a woman clearly comfortable in her own skin and pleased by her place at her sister's side. Kate's voice was usually full of laughter and brightness, with just a touch of the carefree thrown in.
The others didn't take much longer. I was able to discern Carmen, whose immense kindness and compassion had helped her and her mate find their way to the vegetarian lifestyle. Carmen was a bit older than the sisters, and settled happily with Eleazar, which gave her voice a more grounded feeling. Eleazar's voice was the most cautious, which did not surprise me. He'd seen more strife than anyone else at the clan house, and probably more than anyone I had ever known, except possibly Jasper. His love for Carmen gave him strength, but it also gave him something to fear losing. His past made him wary.
From these five, I was able to see the house, and the occupations of its inhabitants, including Laurent. Unlike my own family, who had gone indoors in order to interact with humans better, the Denali clan had decidedly gone outdoors. Nearby mountains and the omnipresent snow and ice this time of year made for a never-ending playground for those who can't feel the cold, and like a good challenge. When not seeing to their own survival, they were constantly up to some adventure in the surrounding countryside, often competing with each other in complicated games of their own making.
The house itself had fewer amenities than the manor homes we often frequented. Instead, it was more of a lodge, with a huge, open, central room, brightly lit by a massive fireplace that was kept in use throughout the dark nighttime. An open staircase from this room led to a series of loft bedrooms and bathrooms overlooking the front of the lodge. The back wall of the lodge was mostly window, and faced south towards the Denali National Park, with all its stunning views.
The first few days of my surveillance were filled with laughter, conversation, and excitement, underlain by just a hint of uneasy tension. The source of both the excitement and unease was clearly Laurent. He had been there since he had left our home many months ago, so the five original inhabitants were mostly comfortable around him, but yet, there was an edge to the atmosphere of the clan.
It became clear that Laurent had made an earnest attempt to adopt the vegetarian lifestyle when he had first arrived, but there had been a number of mishaps, which upset the clan to different degrees. He wasn't really all that apologetic about the humans he'd killed, except for the fact that it was causing them some suspicion. Occasionally, members would try to help him with his efforts, reminding me of our efforts with Jasper. Obviously, we were having better luck.
On top of that, it seemed clear that he had been flirting aggressively with all three sisters since he'd first arrived, but none of them had yet taken him up on his offer of nighttime companionship, all for different reasons, it seemed. Kate didn't seem to trust him, Tanya was relishing the thrill of the chase, and Irina was…holding out for something more? Irina's thoughts were the most difficult to read for me, and I could only guess that she was feeling somewhat conflicted herself.
I continued to strain to hear into Laurent's thoughts, with little success. Thinking that perhaps I wasn't close enough, I switched listening posts after the third day ended.
Night was coming to a close, such that Carmen and Eleazar were still otherwise engaged with each other, which left me with the sisters to monitor. Kate and Tanya were having a heated conversation in Tanya's bedroom. As soon as I entered Kate's mind, I realized that Tanya was not fully dressed, and I switched perspectives immediately. Kate, thankfully, was fully dressed in the sisters' usual mountain guide wear, their source of income during the height of the tourist season.
Kate's eyes were narrowed, and she was looking at Tanya accusingly. "How could you? You know what this means to her!" she hissed quietly but vehemently, trying to keep her voice down low enough so that the others wouldn't hear.
I know, I know. Tanya's thoughts echoed with remorse. "I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened."
Kate did not seem placated by her sister's apparent regret. If anything, she inched just a hair closer to completely boiling over. "You've got to get yourself back under control," she stated flatly.
It's been hard, ever since…. Tanya sucked in a long breath. "Kate, I know that you're right. I just needed to get my confidence back."
"This was not the way to do it. If she decides to kill you, I'm not certain who I'm going to help." Kate finished the conversation with a glare, and strode forcefully from the room.
Tanya sighed, and looked at her perfect face in the mirror. Her beautiful blond curls were just the barest bit ruffled. She looked as sad as I had ever known her. It was really good… Here her thoughts turned just the littlest bit smug. …but it wasn't worth it. She continued staring at her reflection, thinking wordlessly about her own loneliness.
I stared with her, lost in concern over a woman I almost considered my sister. Then, I realized I was engrossed in worrying about Tanya, and shook my head impatiently in my listening post. I couldn't afford to get involved in Tanya's pain right now. I had a mission here. I had to focus.
Kate had gone out for a run to let off some steam, it seemed, so I skipped over to Irina. She was gazing to the south at the Park, leaning over the railing of a front deck that ran the length of the lodge. She stood still in the cold, dark morning, no hint of sunrise coming for hours yet. She wasn't seeing the view – she was seeing the panorama inside her own head.
Her mind whirled through a series of thoughts that were occasionally hard for me to follow. She appeared to be considering the possibility of Laurent and Tanya engaged in some strenuous activity in Tanya's bedroom. She hadn't actually seen anything, which made it fuzzy, unlike the clear picture her memory would have drawn.
I wish I could have been more shocked, but my previous interactions with the sisters had made clear to me their general appetites, and of course a darkly handsome, prospective vegetarian like Laurent would have served as catnip to them. If anything, I was a little surprised that it hadn't happened sooner.
While I was relatively inexperienced myself, my gift had given me quite a broad knowledge base when it came to sex. My near and extended family had generally very healthy views of physical relations between consenting individuals. Unfortunately, I had also seen quite a bit of the darker side of human sexual experience as well, during my time hunting. I had fed upon many of the worst sexual offenders I could find, and of course, I had to witness their vile acts first, to be sure they were worthy of the dark gift of oblivion I had planned for them. Their acts had caused immense pain and suffering, often to human women, who found themselves helpless victims of the furious passions of much stronger men unable or unwilling to stop themselves.
I couldn't help it - my greatest fear came back to haunt me in that moment. It was a vision of me losing control of myself in my desire for Bella. Kissing her and holding her, just a split-second spasm of physical longing translated into a barely tighter grasp, and then: the sickening crunch of bone, the feel of damaged tissue in my hands, and the smell of her blood suffusing the air around me. The hunger twists around on me, and I lose control again….
It was long moments before I was able to recover myself from the vision. Of course I feared that her life would end, by whatever means - natural, accidental, or even at the hands of my blood-crazed brother. But it was worse, so much worse, thinking…even knowing…that I would kill her myself someday. I shuddered, over and over, in grief and in desperate, shameful longing.
Minutes passed, and way too slowly the horrors receded from my brain. Focus, Edward! I chastised myself. I hadn't lost control of myself that way since my session with Jasper. Was his gift starting to lose its power? The thought horrified me.
I forced myself back into the coldness of the tracker, and eventually, I was able to regain my ability to listen again. I was shaky, but it would have to do. I had work to do.
Unfortunately, when I tuned back into her, Irina was still envisioning Laurent with Tanya. In her imaginings were none of the painful, horrible, and degrading acts I had recently recollected. She simply viewed them having a generally good time together. She tried to remain unmoved by the visions, but she was failing. I could sense the tension emanating from her thoughts.
Laurent exited the lodge onto the back deck. He moved gracefully, which was not unlike the rest of my kind. She watched as he paused, and then smiled, before coming to stand before her.
"Good morning," he trilled in his velvety accent. "I trust you are ready for another game with me today." He gave her a probing stare and his hand moved up to her cheek. She made just the barest of perceptible motions, flinching away from his touch. He seemed to take note of the motion, and dropped his hand away immediately. "I see that perhaps our games will be different in the future."
I tried to get a lock on his mental voice, but it was still part of the buzz for me. I went back to Irina, who was regarding Laurent with narrowed eyes. I can't believe he's still courting me now. What does he expect from me? He appeared to catch her openly skeptical look, and turned to gaze off into the distance alongside her.
"What can I say, Irinushka? I am only a man, and your sister is quite the temptress, as you know. It was obviously a grave mistake, on both our parts. I can only claim that I was driven to madness by my longing for you." He turned back to gaze admiringly at her dark features, giving her a dazzling smile, that didn't seem the least apologetic.
"I thought you were different, Laurent." Irina didn't smile back. Different from all the other men my sisters and I have used over the years. You dupe! "I thought you would see through her shallow offering, and reject it for what it was. My regard for you has always been different than hers."
His smile turned into a serious look. "I know it has, and I respect you all the more for it."
The earlier conversation between Kate and Tanya was now obvious to me. I bristled at this unworthy individual having a claim over any of my extended family members, but it was clear that he was now somewhat involved with at least two of them. For their sakes and for mine, I needed to know what his intentions were!
Desperation gave me a small boost in strength. I tightened my control and locked in on him. I could hear his voice faintly, as if at the end of a long cavern, slowly coming closer…very slowly. I strained…it hurt…but I could hear him. I smiled grimly, for the first time seeing through his eyes.
I could see Irina's beautiful face, and the possessive way his thoughts wrapped around her. She appeared to be uncertain, and he took advantage of her uncertainty, swooping in for a kiss. She hesitated, and then responded despite herself. As the kiss deepened, I could hear the tenor of his thoughts getting louder with insistence, Mine!
After an eternity, Irina shoved roughly at his chest, and he let go of her, although his vision appeared to turn slightly red as he let go.
"You want me, and I want you," he stated challengingly. "Perhaps we want even more than that from each other. Why can't you give in to your desires?" You're making me crazy with longing. I would do anything for you.
She put a few steps in between them, drawing in a shaky breath, and turned to face him. "Laurent, you know I could never commit myself to someone who wasn't ready to join me here. I won't give in until you've given up on the old ways."
I could see Laurent's face twisting, and it gave him away. I would do anything but that, he thought ruefully. "I need more time to become better adjusted to your rules."
"You've had time, and we've been very forgiving about your lapses," Irina countered. I don't think he's really making the effort. "Perhaps it would be best if you went away for a while, and thought about what you really wanted from us and our time here."
Laurent appeared to consider this, with thoughts both eager and hesitant. I could definitely cheat while I was away, and I wouldn't get in nearly as much trouble. However, I'd have to give up the tender arms of one very lonely sister, for the dream of gaining the love of another. Is it worth it?
He was undecided. "I will consider your sage advice, Irinushka, and leave you to your own thoughts." He began to depart, but then turned back to her. "If I left for a time, would you wait for me to return, my beauty?" he asked, his rich voice coaxing and deep.
Her eyes bore into his, and I could see a resolve formed there. Yes. "I don't know," she replied steadily.
It is enough. He bowed low, and gracefully departed the deck.
For her part, Irina's eyes followed his retreating form, and then turned back to the mountains, and tried not to envision Laurent in bed with her sister. She didn't quite succeed.
As soon as I was certain he was gone, I paused in my surveillance to catch my breath. The thwarted passion and unrequited longing I sensed in Laurent and Irina reminded me too much of my own selfish desires, and I needed a minute to recover.
Had Bella ever longed for me in the same way that Irina did when she gazed at Laurent? Of course she had - warm, passionate woman that she was. She was constantly falling prey to my lures, as well as her own fiery nature. As much as I had always wished for it to be otherwise, I knew that she had once desired me nearly as much as I still desired her. I closed my eyes and held on for dear life. No, Edward. Don't think of that. Keep focused on your purpose here.
After another few shaky minutes, I opened my eyes again and let out the breath I had been holding. Monitoring the Denali clan was becoming more difficult, it seemed.
I tried to get back to the task, but I had a hard time finding Laurent's distant voice without the anchor of another familiar voice so near. Instead, I continued to search for his thoughts, while monitoring the others'. Kate was still off on her run, and Carmen and Eleazar took off shortly after rising for the day, perhaps sensing the tension in the house or maybe wishing to give the sisters some privacy.
For their part, Tanya and Irina avoided each other for a while in an elegant dance. Irina would come in the door, and Tanya would just be heading into her room. Tanya would come out of her room, and Irina would dart into the kitchen. So on and so forth, for several hours.
Finally, Tanya planted herself firmly on the couch in the main room, facing Irina's bedroom, with her arms folded across her chest. Irina came out eventually, descended the stairs, and faced her sister, an old look on her face. I expected to see betrayal there, but perhaps Irina had spent too much time with her sister to be surprised by her anymore.
"I'm sorry," Tanya muttered.
"I know," Irina replied tersely.
"It was a test, you know," Tanya added hesitantly.
"No. It was you being thoughtless. But it served as a good test." Irina did not flinch in the direct gaze she gave her sister.
"Yes," Tanya added, looking down.
"Yes." Irina finished the conversation. And now I know.
Irina moved on past her to the kitchen area, and Tanya sighed again, biting her lip. It seemed to be all they could say on the subject. I sensed that the relationship between the two would be strained for a while, but the damage was not permanent, which was vital if the clan was to continue. I could tell from their thoughts that they understood each other – Irina needed time and space to forgive Tanya, and Tanya would give it to her.
I could only guess at what it was that Irina felt she had learned from the experience. Perhaps that Laurent was untrustworthy? That she cared for him? That he needed to make a clear-cut decision about his choice to become a vegetarian? I wasn't certain, and it worried me.
Eventually, Carmen and Eleazar entered the lodge with a flurry of activity, and the shaking off of snow. It was snowing? I looked up from my perch in my listening post. Yes, it was, and I was covered in the stuff. Interesting. I hadn't noticed.
The delicate flakes falling from the sky drifted down into my open palm and I studied their frozen structure. They were everything that Bella was not – cold, hard, and brittle. And yet they were beautiful in a delicate way, just like Bella's translucent skin and soft lips….
I gritted my teeth and sucked in another stabilizing breath. My fists clenched and unclenched. Edward! Focus! I called to myself. I was way too easily distracted and likely to miss something. I forced my mind into submission. Fortunately for me, only a few seconds had passed.
Irina turned to face Carmen and Eleazar, and with a quiet and steady voice, she asked, "Is he gone?"
Eleazar appeared hesitant to speak, so Carmen came forward to answer. "Yes, querida mia. He's headed east into Canada. He doesn't appear to be slowing down."
Carmen looked like she wanted to embrace Irina, to comfort her. But Irina's gaze dropped, and she headed quietly up the stairs and into her bedroom. With a shrug, Tanya turned around and headed into hers. I could see Carmen and Eleazar exchange a significant look. Their thoughts on the subject were nearly identical.
I shook myself free of the drift that had formed around me, and burst into action. Laurent was leaving the clan, and heading to Canada. I didn't have any more time to lose. I had to pick up his trail before it got any more cold.
I was on the northern edge of the clan's territory, and took off at a sprint, delighted to be able to engage in such speed again. My week of surveillance came into good use, and I took a circuitous route to avoid both the clan's usual paths and any human notice, as I was moving in the open during the daylight hours, for once. When I reached the eastern arc, I slowed, trying to pick up a hint of scent from Laurent's trail.
I didn't encounter Laurent's trail, but Kate's instead, which was fresher than Laurent's would have been, had he left immediately. Thinking that perhaps Kate may have been tracking Laurent herself, I backed off a few paces to avoid contaminating the trail with my scent, and headed in the same direction. I listened desperately for Kate's voice, and periodically checked to make sure she was headed in the same direction. The sun set, which eliminated one of my worries, and the snow tapered off. I compensated by picking up my speed.
Finally, I caught the barest buzz of Kate's voice. She was several miles away, and had stopped moving. I slowed, moving carefully in her direction while listening to her thoughts intently.
It was clear she was arguing with Laurent. I could see him, standing before her, hands up in a conciliatory gesture. I concentrated, and honed in on his voice as well, with some difficulty.
"I am following Irina's suggestion that I spend some time away from the clan to reconsider my options." Kate is a magnificent woman, herself. Such spirit, such fire! It's really too bad….
"Don't come back unless you're going to commit to one course of action or another. I'm tired of you playing games with the clan…and my sisters." For her part, Kate was just as impressively angry with Laurent as she was with Tanya, except that this time, she didn't have to worry about being heard. Her voice echoed through the empty woods around her.
Laurent considered her statement for a while. Patience, he thought to himself. She's young. You have time to wait. He nodded, and smiled in a carefully apologetic way.
Kate's lips thinned, and she took a deep breath. I just don't trust him, she thought, and she spun on her heel and raced off the way she had come. Laurent watched her go, with great interest.
After she had disappeared, he stood there for a moment longer, considering his options. This gave me time to get closer to his position. Before I reached him, he turned and headed off into Canada at full speed, with me following at my best pace, not far behind, and getting closer all the time. I could just barely keep track of his voice, and if he got too far ahead of me, I would lose him altogether. I had to catch up to him.
As he ran, I kept one eye on his thoughts, which dwelled happily on the three sisters – their beauty, their tenacity, and their strength. It wasn't clear whether he favored one over the others. His cavalier feelings towards my almost-sisters angered me, and I put on an extra burst of speed.
He angled south, which caused me to swear under my breath. He was avoiding the snow-covered passes to the north, and instead opting to head towards the less treacherous southeastern corner of the state. He was getting closer to the Alcan Highway…and all the tempting humans there.
As if in response to my fear, his thoughts focused on an ancient hunger deep within him, and his intentions crystallized. Perhaps someday I will become a "vegetarian," as they call it, but not today. Today…I will feast.
Eventually, the sound of a truck rumbling past caused him to slow in anticipation, and I realized too slowly what he was doing. I jerked to a sudden stop less than a thousand feet from his position, and he heard the unnatural sound in the normally very quiet forest.
His thoughts instantly sharpened, and he searched for additional signs of my presence. I was completely still and made no sound, but unfortunately, my scent upon the wind gave me away. His sensitive nose inhaled deeply, and I could sense his suspicion blossom. "Stop hiding! If you have something to say to me, come and say it to me."
Alice, Jasper, Emmett and I had planned a number of tricks to get Laurent to think about Victoria without actually asking him about her. A splash of red hair in the wilderness, just enough to get him thinking she'd come to see him, only to find a mysterious wig had blown into the bracken. Calls for him from a woman with a similar voice to hers, but leaving no message and no name. Things like that.
Direct confrontation had been low on the list of options, and one that Alice had warned could have unforeseen repercussions. I realized now that I had no choice. I walked toward him slowly, letting him hear and smell my non-threatening approach.
His manner had been similar, when he, James, and Victoria had encountered my family many months ago. Back then, they were clearly outnumbered by us and in unfamiliar territory; whereas here, it was two equal vampires meeting on unclaimed land. Regardless, I didn't want him to see me as a threat, at least to start.
Eventually, I came within sight, and his carefully neutral expression turned resentful and cautious. "Edward. Imagine meeting you out here. Why? Why are you following me out into the woods on this inhospitable night?" Has he lost interest in that delicious morsel of his? Did he finally kill her for her luscious blood? Laurent was already hungry, and sucked in a deep breath, remembering the smell.
I growled deep in my throat, on instinct. I couldn't help myself.
Laurent chuckled. "You seem to be threatening me, pup. I'm sure Carlisle taught you better manners than that. I'm not your enemy. I've been with the Denali clan, enjoying the company of your foster sisters. I'm sure they'll be interested to hear I've seen you." How long has he been following me? What does he want? Laurent didn't consider me a threat, but he was worried about my motivations. And what I would say to the clan. It was something I could use against him.
"Don't tell them you've seen me," I threatened, "or I will tell them that as soon as you left the clan house and got far enough away that they wouldn't notice, you went hunting for human blood."
His chuckle stopped, and he regarded me with new eyes. "You're right, mind-reader; I don't want them to know that. It seems we are at each others' mercy." He smiled a false and bitter smile. "How long have you been spying on me and my clan?"
I could see in his thoughts that he really did consider himself a part of the Denali clan, which made me pause for a moment. While his actions were reprehensible in every other way – playing with the sisters, flagrantly violating the vegetarian lifestyle – he felt he owed them his allegiance. He was wondering how I might be a threat to them…all of them.
Could this despicable creature really become a member of my extended family? Did I need to give him the chance that we gave Jasper? Would he someday be my ally – my brother? I could feel no kindness in my heart for him, but I couldn't ignore his apparent feelings for those that I loved.
Following my instincts, my tactics changed in that one moment. I decided to level with him, despite Alice's warnings. "I was hoping to ask you about…Victoria."
"Victoria?" Laurent was surprised. His thoughts flashed back to his days with James and Victoria, and I carefully catalogued every image than spun past. "I don't know what has happened to her. I imagine she's not very happy with me right now." He shuddered infinitesimally, when he considered the strength of her displeasure.
"I owe her for her part in Bella's pain," I declared.
Images of Bella in the hospital filled my brain, and I froze momentarily as they inundated me. The transfusions needed to save her life, the broken bone mending slowly in the rigid cast, the cuts everywhere in her delicate skin…. I steeled myself against the longing and the rage that the images wrought in me, both so powerful that they threatened to overcome me.
I had to keep focused on Laurent, standing right in front of me. With effort, I pulled my mind back to the present. We were talking about Victoria.
"I intend to track her," I ground out through clenched teeth.
Laurent considered my statement with deep suspicion. "You'll never find her. She'll evade your outstretched hands like the cold wind blows through these desolate woods." I learned quite a bit from her – very useful information!
"Give me some ideas – places to look, or someplace to start. Where would she go, now that James is dead?" I queried him.
Yes, dead, Laurent thought somberly. And you intend to see that Victoria follows him. His eyes narrowed and his head cocked to one side. "A human's pain is worth all this?" Again he sounded surprised, and not a little displeased.
I could only utter one furious word in response, "Yes."
I realized that over the last few sentences, Laurent and I had slowly begun crouching into a fighting stance. I don't know who had started it, but now we were both tensed and glaring.
"I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I won't turn on my former kinswoman over a human." His thoughts echoed his declaration of intent. He was becoming impatient with my attitude. Don't challenge my authority on this, mind-reader. I've seen three times as many years as you have. I have survived when others have fallen. Keep that in mind before you decide to challenge me, whelp.
"I'm not leaving until you give me something I can use to find her," I demanded, unmoved by his threats.
Now we were circling one another, slowly. He took one step to the right, and I answered with one of my own.
"Then you'll be here for a long time." Laurent was heading toward incensed, and I was struggling to keep my cool myself. I'll show you a lesson or two, young Edward, if you need it. You're no match for me.
Without warning, he spun towards me, trying to catch me by the arm and spin me into a nearby tree, but I heard his intentions and reacted too quickly. I evaded his hold and sent him sprawling instead, with a sharp blow to his back as he went past. I turned and launched myself at his prone form, but his arms came up and deflected me to the side. I had barely caught my balance, when I heard his thoughts and rolled to the side to avoid a massive blow. He had twisted up from the ground and his powerful arms had whistled through the air in exactly the spot I had been located moments before. I regained my footing, and he did the same, reorienting to face me again.
We glared at each other across a small clearing, assessing. He hadn't accounted for the advantage my gift gave me in combat, and he was considering how that changed things. He had always considered himself a superior combatant, and wasn't prepared for an even fight with me, a comparatively inexperienced youngster. He was wondering if this was how James had met his end.
"It doesn't have to be this way. We could be family! Help me," I pleaded. Even as I said it, I knew it was a wasted effort. His pride had now been damaged, and he wouldn't willingly give me the information I sought.
"Family doesn't ask you to betray your companions. You are no family of mine," Laurent spat.
He came to the conclusion others, including Jasper, had come to before, that relying on instinct in battle was the best bet when facing me. He launched a rapid offensive, and kept me busy for a few long minutes in pure defense. For his size, he was both powerful and fast, and had obviously seen some serious combat in his 300 years. Regardless, he couldn't beat me in a fight with my gift at my disposal, and I heard that thought cross his mind.
In response, his attacks became momentarily more aggressive. After a series of three consecutive parries, it took me a split second longer than usual to regain my stance, and I realized that he was no longer facing me in the clearing. Instead, he was running toward the highway. I gave pursuit immediately.
I almost caught up with him, when I heard the honk of a surprised semi. I crossed the Alcan Highway just in front of the truck rumbling past at top speed, and that's when I realized that Laurent was no longer in front of me. After a moment, I knew where he must have gone.
I back-tracked, and gave chase to the truck. In seconds, I was aboard, and spent a few long minutes scanning the top, sides, cab, undercarriage, and even the trailer for Laurent. There was no sign of him anywhere, though his scent lingered. I decided that he must have discarded the truck at some point, and leapt back off to see where he might have gone.
I scanned for his mind, and found nothing. I ghosted up and down both sides of the highway trying to locate his scent, but I found nothing. The only scents of Laurent were in the vicinity of our original fight and chase.
I stood in the clearing for a few minutes, trying to think of what I might have missed. It occurred to me that he might have backtracked over his original trail to hide his scent. Slowly, I began to re-trace his steps, looking for any side trails. I ranged farther and farther afield. I was desperate, looking for a needle in a haystack – the one-in-a-million chance.
I didn't find it. When an hour had passed and I hadn't found any trace of him, I had to admit that he was gone. He had evaded me just like he'd said Victoria could. Like the cold wind through the desolate woods.
The realization dropped me like a stone. Bella, I'm so sorry. Bella's face appeared in front of me, obscuring my vision of the forest floor. She was seized with the searing agony of the venom, sprawled out on the floor of the ballet studio. Carlisle was pleading with me to suck out the venom, but I could barely hear him through the red haze that obscured my vision and my thoughts. My desire for her blood raged through me, with my will to see her live barely holding it in check.
Bella, I'm so sorry, I moaned again. I didn't fail her then, but it was a near thing. The whole situation was my fault – just like this disaster. So much for being good at everything.
I don't recall how long I lay there in my misery, crumpled up in the newly fallen snow under rapidly clearing skies. Eventually, I unwound myself, and rolled over onto my back, wondering what I was going to do now. The crushing feeling in my chest didn't relent.
It was then that I caught glimpse of something for which Fairbanks was famous, especially in the winter months - something I should have been expecting. The northern lights, which had been quiet throughout the weeks I'd spent here, chose this night to blaze in all their iridescent glory. I glared at them, angry that they would finally deign to shine their beauty down on me while I lay there humbled in embarrassing defeat.
I couldn't stop staring as they undulated slowly across the sky. Their delicate dance reminded me of the way the sunlight rippled through Bella's hair, the graceful way she moved her hands, and the way the flush spread from the points of her cheeks to the rest of her face until her whole body glowed with the warmth. In my anger and despair, I allowed myself to lie there mesmerized for hours, seeing not just the ghostly colors in the sky, but the earthy tones of another, infinitely more beautiful world.
It was reminiscent of another time I had lain in the snow, staring up at the Alaskan skies, wondering how fate had been so unkind as to burn Bella's face and scent into my unchanging memory.
This time I had to admit that it wasn't fate that had undone me. It had been my own actions. This made it somehow harder to bear the defeat. How could I have failed her so easily? He was within my grasp, and I let him get away!
My anger at my ineptitude didn't lessen as time went on. Nor did the hopelessness of knowing I had lost my way. When the darkness gave way to dawn and the lights dissipated, I sucked in a deep breath, and levered myself up into a sitting position. Wallowing wasn't going to get me any closer to my goal, but it was hard to resist. This time, I found the strength.
I had time and patience, I reminded myself. I was immortal, as was everyone else involved, and I had nothing else to do. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the coldness and focus with which I had started this mission. I pulled the memory deep within me, and tried to replace my burning shame with cool intensity instead. By the time I opened my eyes again, I was a bit more composed. It was the best I could do.
I would have to carry my search elsewhere, while waiting for Laurent to return to Denali. I was certain he would return eventually. I could tell from his thoughts that he didn't feel like his dealings with the clan sisters were over. When he was certain I was gone, he would return.
I returned to my second listening post and spent a few more days tuned in to the happenings in the clan house to see if I could pick up any more information on my target. Unfortunately, nothing had changed and very little was said or thought of Laurent. It seemed all the inhabitants were doing their best not to think of him. Eventually, I decided I would gain nothing more in Denali until he returned.
It had been a long time, so I succumbed to hunger, and fed my inner monster before leaving the wildlife-rich environs of Denali. I would not be reckless, as I had promised Carlisle.
Finally, I returned to Fairbanks, and spent a day sketching the images I had plucked from Laurent's mind when he had thought of James and Victoria. I scanned them in to my communications equipment and sent them to Jasper, along with a one sentence description of my complete and utter failure to gain any information from Laurent, and the fact that I didn't know where he'd gone. I sat and stared at the screen, watching the electrons dance, trying not to see Bella's face in the patterns, and wondering where I would go next to continue my search.
An hour later, Jasper rang me through the equipment. I turned to stare at the noise, willing it to stop. Eventually, I gave up and answered it. "What?" I muttered.
"Edward, it's Jasper. I've got something for you." Jasper sounded just a touch excited.
"What?" I repeated, perplexed. I had assumed he would be as disappointed in the Laurent exchange as I had been.
"This sketch…you've labeled it number four…I know where this is." The excitement in his voice was palpable, and I roused myself from my torpor to pull it out and look at it again.
"Where is it, Jasper?"
"Texas, in my old stomping grounds. There's often quite a large colony of vampires here in this old building – four or five of them, I would imagine. I must have battled over this piece of turf more than once."
"Which city?" I asked, catching the excitement. I began to pack up my supplies.
"Austin," Jasper breathed. "Be careful, Edward. These vampires run by different rules than you're used to."
"Thanks, Jasper. I'm packing up and on my way." And indeed I was already flying around the room, halfway ready to depart already.
"I'll find you a base of operations by the time you get there."
"I'll call you." I was ready to leave this disappointing land of snow and ice. And Austin was certainly a change of scenery. I hoped that someone there would be more accommodating with information about Victoria than Laurent had been. They had to be.
And I had to be much smarter next time. I had to be.
© 2009 K. Snead; Editor, C. Burton