Rey

She woke sometime later with a violent start.

Not a nightmare this time, but a sound had jerked her out of sleep. She waited and listened, but felt nothing. Heard nothing.

Heard nothing…

Not a sound, she realized, but it was the silence that disturbed her. She illuminated her flashlight and straightway glanced at Ben, afraid to see he'd stopped breathing. But his chest rose and fell a little more steadily than before, and she allowed herself a moment of relief. Getting to her feet, she headed to the entrance and peered out at a darkened world. The shadow of the huge gas planet blocked half the night sky, and it was difficult to see without the light of any moon. But she could make out that the sky was empty. The great cloud of those huge flying creatures had finally passed, and their constant shrieks no longer echoed over the verdant landscape.

In fact, nothing squawked or squeaked, croaked or chirped. The night was eerily silent. It gave Rey the creeps. Even in the barren deserts of Jakku, nocturnal creatures made their nightly conversation.

Where was BB-8? The scan shouldn't have taken this long. Maybe he'd plugged in and powered down for the night. Maybe she should check to make sure.

A soft cough broke the stillness, whipping her around. She hurried back to Ben's side, gratified to see him stirring for the first time. His face scrunched into an expression of agony and a hand drifted towards his midsection.

She caught his arm before he could touch any of it. "Don't."

His eyes popped open in alarm.

Their gazes met, and she watched at his uncomprehending expression moved from surprise to gladness, then confusion.

"Rey?" Though his voice was ragged and hoarse, the word tumbled from him with unusual reverence. His arm, still caught in her grasp, drifted up as his fingers reached hesitantly for her face. "Are you...?"

She pulled away from him before he could touch her, struggling against her own wave of emotions. It was suddenly difficult to speak. Mustering what willpower remained, she murmured. "I'm here, Ben. I'm real."

"But how?" He tried to sit up, grimaced in pain and looked down at his stomach. "What…?"

She pushed him firmly back down by the shoulders. "Don't. You'll mess everything up."

He shivered under her touch. "I'm alive."

"Yeah. I can't believe it either. You're welcome, I think," she said more tersely than she meant.

"How did you know? Why are you here?"

She shrugged, looking away. "We...connected. I felt you were in trouble."

He didn't say anything to that, but she felt his intense gaze on her. She didn't trust herself to meet it, not knowing what she would find there, not knowing what reaction it would invoke in her. She wrestled against sadness and anger and so much relief she wanted to touch him again.

"Thank you," he said at last, his voice soft.

She shuddered. This was going to be difficult. Only a few minutes of him being awake and she already felt desperation rising. She stifled the urge to plead with him again to abandon his dark path and join her in the light. To stay with her.

"Ben, what happened?" She asked after a moment. "Who did this to you?"

"Hux," he said, his countenance darkening. "I made a mistake. I underestimated him. I was…" he glanced at her, frowning. "Too distracted to see how dangerous the situation had become."

"General Hux did this?" She suppressed her incredulity.

He turned his face away, ashamed. "I asked him to summon what remained of the Knights of Ren. They wouldn't come. What I did not know is that some did come, but he lied to me about it and then intercepted them. I don't know what lies he fed them, but they fought for him. Together, they ambushed me. I barely escaped."

Rey's memory flashed with Luke's retelling of the night everything went wrong. Ben had taken some of Luke's students, and together they killed the rest. She remembered too the vision she had in Maz Kanata's storage room. The seven black-clad figures bearing down on her menacingly. A chill of fear echoed through her.

"They were the students who went with you."

Ben didn't react except to utter a short, "Yes."

"You were their leader."

She felt the force tremble with darkness and knew this must have evoked rage in him. Maybe talking about this was a mistake. She didn't want to remind him of his anger.

"They betrayed me. They will pay."

Given his current condition, she very much doubted that, but wisely chose to keep this observation to herself.

"Rey," he said suddenly, turning to her, dark eyes illuminating feverishly. "Help me."

"With what?"

"Help me destroy them. You're more powerful than they are, and together, you and I are unstoppable. They wouldn't stand a chance against us. Hux, the traitors, none of them."

"Ben," Rey sighed in exasperation.

"No," he snapped, lashing out in the reminder of the pain they were both pretending to ignore. "Stop denying it. We're meant to work together."

She snatched her flashlight off the ground and stood. "I'm not doing this dance right now."

Rey stalked off angrily, heading to the entrance again. Why did he have to bring it back to that so soon after waking? Why couldn't he just let her enjoy his company for one minute without reminding her of how impossible their situation was? She couldn't join him any more than he could join her. He knew that. She knew that. Why talk about it? It only irritated the wound and brought them both pain.

She stepped outside the tree.

"BB-8?" She called softly.

There was no answer. The ship wasn't far away, and Ben seemed to be in stable condition. Besides, it might be good for him to think about his mistake in solitude for a minute. She made the decision and headed out, sweeping her flashlight along the ground to illuminate the barely discernible path back to the two ships.

In this way, she found BB-8, plugged in and powered down, as expected. He sat as inert as any other part of the ship, just a hunk of metal. He would have come out of standby mode if she addressed him, but she didn't. Let him power up as much as he could. She might need him in the morning if she decided to leave.

And she would leave, if Ben insisted on being immutable.

Staring up at the night sky, she wondered what her friends were doing. It could be daytime there, for all she knew. Different planets had different orbits and rotations. They might be strategizing with Leia over the next city to infiltrate, or they might be out in the city itself trying to find and seed rebellious sentiment. The rebels didn't know that a power struggle threatened the hierarchy of the First Order. They didn't know that Hux had now surrounded himself with at least two dark force users. Leia didn't know that her son had been almost killed by these same men.

If she did know, would that make a difference?

How far Rey had come from her scavenger life. How strange and large these new problems had grown. For the briefest moment, she felt a longing for those simple days of worrying only about how much food her latest haul would earn her. Nothing happened on Jakku, nothing required that much soul-searching or moral deliberation. The only fortitude needed was the kind that allowed one to survive in the harsh environment.

But that had been an empty life. A life of longing. Now she had friends, people who loved her and cared for her. She had purpose. She had the Force, which was more than she ever dreamed.

And she had, for better or worse, Ben.

This crucial missing piece she couldn't seem to forget or live without. The missing piece she also couldn't keep. Whatever this connection was between them, it was clearly here to stay. Months of trying to sever it hadn't diminished its power in any degree. Maybe Ben was right. Maybe Luke was right. But she didn't know how to move forward when they were stuck in such a stalemate.

Her gaze lowered again, scanning her surroundings by the light her softly glowing lantern.

"What do I do now?" She asked the empty night, hoping Luke would hear and answer.

He didn't. She sighed.

There was only one thing to do.

...

"I'm sorry," Ben said when she returned. He had shifted himself to a semi-upright position, reclining against the wall of his chosen shelter.

The words were unexpected, and gave her pause. Had he ever apologized before? She gave him a piece of protein ration from her bag. "Eat. Your body won't heal if it doesn't have fuel."

He took the offering, but didn't bring it to his mouth. "I made you angry. I'm sorry."

"That's a new feeling for you."

"It isn't. I just don't say it. I can't afford to. Apologies admit mistake, which indicate weakness."

"It makes you seem human."

He finally nibbled at the food reluctantly. "I'm not a human, I'm a monster. Remember?"

"Don't," she said quickly, casting him a sharp look. "You've done monstrous things, but you know damn well I don't see a monster anymore."

"What do you see?" He asked, his voice level and soft, but tinged with curiosity.

She dug around in her bag again, trying to decide what to say. She wasn't really even sure of the answer herself. Eventually his unwavering gaze drew her brief glance. "Someone…someone like me."

"Like you?" He blinked. A kind of sardonic smile twisted his lips. "Not very much like you. I've never had to sell garbage for food."

Boy, he really struggled with the whole friendship thing, didn't he? She rolled her eyes, refusing to rise to his taunt. "You're right. You were raised by a princess. That makes you a prince. Maybe that explains your delusions about real life."

"A prince of a dead world doesn't count. I was raised by myself," he countered.

Rey didn't believe that. She knew Han had not been a very present father, and Leia had hinted at her own failings in one conversation, but she sensed deep love in the mother for her son. She refused to believe Leia had been neglectful in her upbringing. "You had parents, at least. I didn't."

Ben conceded this point. "You're right. But is it better to have never had parents than to have them always just out of reach? To have them, but watch them leave you again and again, to pine every day for their love and attention?"

"They did love you," she said suddenly, a hint of viciousness rising in her voice. "Don't you dare try to negate that. She still loves you. I can feel it every time I'm with her."

"With her?" His face registered shock and confusion. Suddenly the taunting, steely man vanished in favor of a lost boy, casting about for something to ground him. "She's…alive?"

"Yes." She said it softly. He hadn't known she survived, then. He hadn't known she'd been on Crait. Poe and Finn had told Rey all about what happened when they came out of hyperspace to find the First Order directly on their heels. They told her about Kylo Ren leading the TIE Fighters in the attack.

Suddenly furious that he would fire on his own mother, she added with particular venom, "Despite your best efforts."

He looked at the ground, gaze distant, brow troubled. He shook his head once. "I…I didn't. I couldn't."

Rey blinked, surprised at his sincerity. Seeing that this confession tormented him took the heat right out of her anger. "You didn't blow up the bridge?"

"I was going to but…" he cringed. "I'm still so weak. Snoke saw that. He knew."

"Snoke is dead, because of you. Love for your mother doesn't make you weak, Ben, it makes you strong."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Sentiment was the downfall of the Empire."

"Sentiment is unavoidable, unless you're a droid. Even then, some droids can be remarkably sentimental." She thought of BB-8 and smiled faintly.

He seemed amused by the turn of conversation. "Your Jedi predecessors would be ashamed, Rey. Attachment is forbidden by the Jedi, didn't you know? Mothers, fathers, siblings, lovers, even friends. All of it must be lanced off, lest attachment lead to fear and fear lead to the dark side."

She shrugged. "I guess I'm not a very good Jedi, then. I've lived a life of no attachments and it didn't make me free. It didn't make me strong. I don't intend to live that way again. It sounds like the dark side isn't much different, though. Why is cutting yourself off from others for the dark better than cutting yourself off from others for the light?"

This seemed to perturb Ben in a way he hadn't considered before. Instead of a rebuttal, however, he asked evenly, "You think you draw strength from the love of your friends?"

"Yes. As Vader drew strength to overthrow the Emperor from the love of his son." As you drew strength to overthrow your abuser from our connection, she wanted to add but didn't.

Ben's visage darkened at this mention and for a moment she thought he might react angrily. Why was Vader such a sensitive subject for him? Eventually the storm clouds receded a little and he fell into contemplative, brooding silence.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, finally finding what she wanted in her bag. An antibiotic patch.

He glanced down at his stomach, frowning. "This might be the crudest medical care I've ever received."

"Sorry I don't have the resources of the First Order at my disposal," she fired back. "The Force asked a scavenger to patch you up, so you got a scavenger's quality repair."

Approaching, she reached for his wrapping.

He recoiled.

Rey frowned. "Really? You're going to have an issue with me touching you now?"

"It's different. I'm awake." he said defensively. "Besides, I don't know if I've ever had human hands do this. Humans are prone to error. Usually medical care is handled by droids."

"For the wealthy, royal, and highly ranked, maybe. Some of us haven't had that luxury. You certainly don't have it now." She smirked and reached again. This time he didn't pull away, but she saw that he was plainly uncomfortable. She tugged his already loose wrapping and peeled back one of the bandages. The wound seemed a little less angry than before, but she didn't like the look of the discoloration. Patting the bandage back in place, she stuck the antibiotic patch on one of the intact sections of skin. It would work quickly and hopefully attack all of the infected wounds in the immediate area.

He watched her, his attention more focused on her face than what her hands were doing. To his credit, he didn't flinch or wince.

She grabbed the binding again. "Now that you're awake I can get this a little tighter. I couldn't move you around very well when you were unconscious."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Sit forward as best you can when I'm pulling it behind you." She started the wrap at his side and pulled it tight around him. He crunched forward with each pass, grunting with pain. As quickly as she could, she wrapped the rest. Though sill not perfect, it was much better.

Being this close to him sent her heart tripping along a new beat unnecessarily, and she felt the proximity of their flesh in every nerve. Ben was right, it was a lot different when he was awake. His eyes continued to search her face. The intensity of his gaze had always unnerved her, and now it did so in a new way. As she was wrapping him, her fingers brushed the scar where Chewie's blaster had caught him. Her eyes turned from it to the line along the front of his right shoulder, the end of the damage done to his face. His body bore the evidence of his resilience. It was a good body. Strong, and well-formed.

When she was finished, she sat back and tried to recover her unsteady breath. "So…um, I think you should try to get some rest now."

"What about you?"

"I'll sleep too. I need it."

Slowly, and with great effort, he slid himself back down onto his cloak. Fortunately the night was hot and muggy. He wouldn't be cold, shirtless and exposed as he was.

As for herself, she moved her pack closer to the entrance and laid down several feet away from him. Still, she found it difficult to fall asleep at first, knowing now that he was aware of her.

The Force moved powerfully between them. Both sensed it. Both sensed each other. Both tried hard not to think about what it meant.

A/N:

Thanks for your reviews, friends! You're wonderful :D