Toby POV

I am not afraid to die, not anymore. Who I was before I woke up in that pod was afraid, she was terrified. But who I am now is ready to face it with open arms. And I think that scares Bellamy and Clarke. After the bomb went off we all stood together and watched the smoke clear. Then they left to prepare for war.

It's been two days since, and no grounders have made any attempts to come close to our camp. Everything has been eerily silent, not a single grounder.

"God do I miss flushing toilets." I exclaim, walking up behind Clarke.

She doesn't take her eyes off the tree. "Hmm?"

"Hello?" I wave my hand in front of her eyes. "Earth to Clarke."

"Anything?" Bellamy asks trudging up the hill to Clarkes side.

She shakes her head and sighs. "It's been two days, maybe the bomb at the bridge scared them off for good."

"You believe that?" He gives her a look.

I step forward. "One can only hope." I start walking into the trees.

"Where do you think you're going?" Clarke calls after me.

I swing my hands up. "To miss flushing toilets!"

-/-

"I'm going to just follow you around until you give me something to do." I tell Bellamy happily, knowing that he won't give me a job.

He stops and turns to me. "And what can you contribute?"

"An extensive history lesson?" I smile.

We start walking again. "Yes because that is so helpful. Come on, grab a spear, we're going hunting."

I pick a spear up from the tarp on the ground and follow Bellamy out of the wall. We walk in silence for a few moments, I start to get tired of the quiet.

"Bellamy." I start, trying to think up what to say. "Thanks, for helping when I was sick."

"No problem kid." He doesn't look at me.

I cross my arms. "Why do you call me kid? I'm the age as Clarke, well aside from a couple hundred years."

"Because you act differently than the rest of us. More innocent." He explains.

"I used to be." I answer quietly.

He turns his head and stares. "Once this war is over then-"

"Then what Bellamy? I'll suddenly be able to breathe again? I'll forget all the people I ever knew? There is a weight on my chest constantly and I don't think it'll ever go away." I try to keep my voice level but it waivers.

He stops and I almost crash into his back. We've arrived at a river, but there's a rock damming it up ahead so there's a lake forming. I pull off my boots and socks, placing them on the bank. Then I take off my pants and top, leaving my underwear and bra on. I walk over the rocks towards the water, gasping as the cold water washes over my legs, then my waist and my shoulders.

"We can't swim." Bellamy calls to me from the shore.

I dunk my head underwater and push off from the bottom, propelling myself just under the surface. I break into the air and laugh. "You space people may not. But I can."

He sits on the rocks and watches me swim. Our hunt entirely forgotten.

-/-

I open the tarp of Monty and Jaspers tent. "What're you people up too?"

"Testing a new recipe for moonshine." Monty hands me a cup. "Tell me what you think."

I take a sip, wincing at the burning sensation on my throat. "It's definitely alcoholic that's for sure."

"Never a fan of alcohol?" Jasper asks smiling.

I smirk. "I was a fan, I just prefer cinnamon schnapps to moonshine."

"Schnapps?" They both ask curiously.

I shake my head. "Nevermind. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can be our resident taste tester." Monty suggests.

I laugh. "Oh god I'm going to be so drunk when this is over."

-/-

I stumble out of the tent and into the night air. Everything is swirling around me and it's all making me giggle. Bellamy walks up to me on his way to the dropship. "Oh hello Mr. Bellamy sir." I smile

"Are you drunk?" He asks seriously.

I pat him on the chest. "Only a little. I was taste testing."

"They let you keep drinking? God Toby can you even walk straight?" He seems to be getting angry.

I giggle. "Nope, but does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters. Come on. I'll help you get to the tent."

He wraps an arm around me and supports my weight as we shuffle into his tent. He lays me on the bed and I curl around the blanket. "You're so nice. Everyone thinks you're scary. But you actually care."

"Get some sleep, I'll be back in the morning."

He starts to leave but I grab the hem of his jacket. "Where are you going? It's dangerous out there."

"Clarke and Finn haven't come back from hunting yet, so we're going to look for them. Can you promise that you'll stay in camp?"

I nod and close my eyes. "I promise."

"Good, you'll be safe inside the walls." He smiles softly.

"I'd be safer if you were here." I murmur.

He brushes a lock of hair from my face. "Just stay in camp."