Chapter 03
Adventure to go
…
Sunny and bright, that was the tone of the day. The open road stretched out before them along with a great sense of excited anticipation.
"Are we there yet?"
Or impatience, one of those.
The trees reached up, full and green with singing birds hopping gaily from branch to branch. They marched down the road full of purpose. None of them was entirely sure what that purpose was, but none the less. Nothing would stop them. Nothing.
"I'm hungry."
Well, almost nothing.
"Honestly Ron, is that all you can think about?"
"When I'm hungry."
Harry snickered quietly but not quietly enough to avoid a scrutinizing eye.
"We got anything to eat?"
"Yes" Hermione snapped, "and it needs to last us till we get to Daggerhold."
"How far is that?"
"Another day and a half."
"I won't make it."
"Does that mean I can have your left leg when you die?" Harry asked.
"Harry!" cried a scandalized Hermione.
"What? No sense wasting good meat just because I know him."
"I bet I'd be delicious" opined Ron.
"You two, I swear" the Granger growled.
The two boys shared a grin. There seemed to be no way to please their female companion, but at least 'they' were having fun.
"I'm hungry."
Snicker, "So you've said. Maybe you should climb a tree and hunt for squirrels."
"I don't think 'this' was really meant for hunting squirrels" said Ron, patting his sword.
Harry laughed, "Probably not" sure would be funny to see him try though.
"Spose there's anything around here big enough to swing a sword at?"
"Trees" Hermione sniped.
"Can't eat trees" Ron shot back, "How bout a bear. I could do a bear."
"Oh, honestly!"
"I could!"
"Uh guys, what's that on the road up ahead?"
The others stopped and stared at the brownish lump laying across the road. It was still too far to make out properly but the way it stretched across the well-trodden path proved it was quite sizable.
"I bet it's a bear" said Ron.
"Oh don't be ridiculous."
"He could be right."
Ron smiled smugly at Hermione's scowl, "It's just a big lump of dirt."
"Bear."
"Dirt!"
"Bear."
"We could just go up there and find out" offered Harry, "We are going that way."
His two friends nodded, smiling and scowling they marched down the road to the big obstructing lump. Big, hairy, snoring obstructing lump.
"Bear" said Ron proudly.
Well, ask and ye shall receive.
"Fine, it's a bear" Hermione whispered, "Now let's go around it."
"But I'm hungry" said Ron, drawing his sword and approaching the head.
"Ron! Ron what are you doing?"
"Lunch" said Ron.
Hermione watched in horror as Ron lifted his sword and brought it down on the bears neck. The force of the blow was considerable so when it bounced off the hard, bristly fur the recoil was also considerable. Ron staggered back and fell on his ass, completely surprised by the rebound of his attack.
"Bloody hell!"
"Ron."
"Just what kinda bear is that?"
"Awake" squeaked Hermione.
"Huh" Ron looked back and found a massive head inches from his face, "oh."
For a moment, boy and bear stared at each other. Ron quivered under the intense predatory gaze. Mere inches from a mouthful of sharp Ron ripping teeth, it was all he could do not to lose bladder control.
He opened his mouth, intent on saying 'something' when the bear decided to preempt him. The ursine roar was mostly drowned out by the high pitch scream that came from Ronald Bilius Weasley.
"SWARM!"
The mass of flying insects took advantage of the bears open mouth and the beast staggered back hacking and coughing while being assailed by angry biting flies.
"Wha…"
"Ron! Run!"
He didn't have to be told twice. Still carrying his sword, Ron hit the tree line at full speed.
"Wait for us" Hermione demanded, charging in after him with Harry bringing up the rear.
Despite being told, he didn't wait, fear lending strength to his legs the likes of which he'd never felt. It wasn't like with spiders that turned his legs to jelly, bears were a sort of scary he could handle, by running away. Also screaming.
"He certainly has a powerful set of lungs" said Harry.
"Probably how he manages to shove so much in his mouth without suffocating" Hermione panted angrily as she struggled not to lose her far faster friend.
"Might wanna pick it up Hermione."
"I'm running as fast as I can" she snapped.
The sound of thunder rolling behind them caused her angry growl to fall into a fearful moan.
"You better not be" he said, "or we're in trouble."
His swarm had apparently dissipated, or the bear had simply outrun it. Harry had no trouble believing the latter given the speed at which the enormous ursine was shrinking the gap between them.
"Harry! I can't" Hermione wept.
He wasn't surprised. Carrying around a bunch of books through the smooth floors of the castle did not prepare one for a life or death chase through the forest with a bear. Fortunately, his experience with high speed foot travel was not so limited.
"Break off" Harry ordered, "I'll get him to chase me. Come find us later."
"Wha! But Harry!" she tried to protest.
"Just do it" he ordered, giving her a hard shove that forced her onto a divergent path.
The bear paid her no mind and hurtled after Harry like a bristly rocket.
"Thought as much" it was either after him or Ron. Hermione hadn't done anything to it, she was just in his way, "Come get me ya big ugly brute!"
The bear roared and thundered after him. Turning his attention fully forward Harry concentrated on running. It wouldn't do for him to outpace his pursuer only to trip on some easily avoided obstacle just because he wasn't looking where he was going.
"Ron!" he shouted, having lost sight and sound of his ginger friend.
No answer came. That meant he either hadn't heard or simply couldn't answer. Neither did him any good in locating his friend and the bear was catching up.
"Now would be a great time to be somewhere else" he muttered as he ran.
He made a mental note to learn how to apparate at the earliest opportunity, whenever that might be. Or maybe he'd just teach himself to fly, that sounded even better.
After he outran the bear.
If he outran the bear.
Making a hard right as the bear got uncomfortably close sent the beast smashing into a small tree, tearing it from the ground with its sheer mass as it made to follow him. The sight was less than encouraging.
On the one hand the bear would not be turning on any dimes. On the other, if it caught him that would be the end, its size alone would crush him flat as a dime. It was funny in a way that one bear might accomplish what a dark lord and all his minions had failed to.
A sound caught his attention and lacking any better plan he made another sharp turn towards it. The bear didn't have a conveniently placed tree to turn on this time, so Harry managed to get ahead a bit.
Which was good, because what he found nearly stopped him dead in his tracks, "Ron!"
His friend, head peeking through the bushes, yanked it out at the sound of his name, "Huh, what? Oh, Harry, what're you…" A roar tore through the air and Ron's question was answered before he could even finish it.
"Go, go!" Harry shouted, shoving Ron through the bushes.
"Wait, Harry" he tried to protest but the sound of heavy footsteps got him moving.
Bursting through the bushes Harry got his first look at what Ron had been peeking at. A hairy old satyr held a willowy female with her legs wrapped around his waist. Neither wore a scrap of clothing and the way they were moving, completely ignoring the two boys running through their glade, it took little imagination to figure out what they were doing. The way the female squeaked and moaned every time the satyr bounced her was a sort of hint too.
He almost laughed when the two toppled over backwards in a heap. Two young men might not be sufficient cause to stop their fun but a giant bear was. Go figure.
"I thought I lost him" Ron complained.
"Ya lost us too" said Harry.
"Sorry. Where's Hermione?"
"Shoved her off a ways back" said Harry, ducking under a low branch, "not sure where she is."
"Can't be anywhere worse than…"
"Over here!"
"Well what'cha know."
Hermione waved at them through the woods not forty feet away.
"How'd she catch up so fast?" wondered Ron
"Why is she just standing there waving?" asked Harry.
"This way" she shouted, flinching back when she saw the bear charging in behind them, "Hurry!"
"What does she think we're doing?"
Harry didn't bother to respond and poured on the speed. They were within ten feet before Hermione turned and fled, though she didn't go far.
"In here" she said, ducking into a small opening at the bottom of a medium sized rock formation.
The hole wasn't large, just big enough for the two of them to duck down into together. Certainly not big enough for, say, a giant bear who saw its quarry disappear under the rocks and came to a stumbling halt. Roaring and stamping it paced around their little cave yet remained aloof, never coming too near.
"Ha! He can't get us in here" Ron crowed.
"Nice job Hermione."
"Yes, well. Couldn't have the two of you getting eaten, now could I?"
"Looks like he's leaving" the three teens watched through the gap as the bear gave one final chuff, before trundling off into the forest.
"Well, that was close" said Ron, flopping down on the cave floor.
"Maybe that'll teach you to just go off and hit things like that."
"Probably not" said Ron which made Hermione groan, "Say, does this floor seem squishy to anyone or is it just me?"
Kneeling, Harry examined the floor. Squishy, just like he said. The texture was a bit coarse, like a fine sandpaper. Putting the two together he was reminded of Hagrid's dog Fang, his tongue at least, "Is it getting darker?"
"The hole, it's closing" cried Hermione.
"That's not a hole" Harry realized, "It's a mouth" he said as they were engulfed in darkness.
…
"Disgusting, so disgusting."
Bears as it turned out, were not the worst creatures living in the forest. Harry didn't know what the thing that had swallowed them was called, but he didn't really need to, he could dislike it just fine without that information.
"Dirty, filthy, just… ick!"
All three of them were covered in the things 'secretions', but it was only Hermione who felt the need to talk about it. Heaven only knew why. Harry and Ron were just as happy to squelch along in silence.
"Vile, absolutely filthy, disgusting and vile."
"I think she's running out of words" Ron remarked quietly, lest he incur her wrath.
Harry hid a smirk. It was true they were lost in the woods and covered in slime. But from his perspective, it still wasn't the worst day he'd ever had. And he was glad at least one of his friends was trying to remain upbeat.
Probably helped that he had been the one responsible for getting them out of the nasty camouflaged creature, "Cheer up Hermione, could be worse" said Harry.
"Worse!" she shrieked, "How could it be worse!"
"You really shouldn't ask that question" said Ron.
"And why not" she snapped.
"Cuz then you'll find out."
Hermione glared at the ginger then stomped away, squelching and cursing.
"You know that's not helping" said Harry.
"Was I supposed to be helping?"
Harry shook his head at the smirking ginger, "Ron."
"Hey, I've said it before and I'll say it again, she needs to get her priorities in order."
Harry sighed, "Well, when you're right you're right. I wish she'd just tell us what's bothering her."
"She won't, and she'll blame us for not figuring it out."
"Really Ron?"
"You forget, I got a sister at home. She's always like that."
"You sure it's not just her."
Ron made a gesture at the back of the angry bookworm stomping along well ahead of them.
Harry shrugged, cuz what else could he do, then stopped suddenly.
"Harry?" Ron queried, halting as well.
"Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?" he asked, looking around nervously.
"Sounds like, running water."
It was a river, as it turned out. Perhaps twenty feet across and just deep enough to wade in.
"Oh thank Merlin" Hermione cried, tossing aside the small bag with their food and plunging in.
"Uh, Hermione, you sure that's safe."
If she heard her dark-haired friend, she ignored him. Her entire attention was focused on scrubbing everything she could reach.
"Think we aught to…" he began to ask till he noticed Ron wasn't paying attention, "Ron?"
But Ron didn't answer. Something on the far shore had caught his attention.
"What're you looking at?"
"Them" he said.
Ron directed Harry's attention to the nubile female forms he'd been ogling. They were colored the same as the water, so Harry didn't feel too bad for missing them.
"What are they?"
Ron shrugged, "Girls?"
"Hey, Stop that!"
The exclamation drew their attention back to their bushy haired friend who appeared to be wrestling with two of the strange water girls. On closer inspection it became clear she was not wrestling, they were just trying to drown her.
"Bollocks!"
"Can't take her anywhere."
The two boys charged into the water and dragged their waterlogged friend to shore. The water girls resisted but not very hard. Harry got the distinct impression from their giggling and tittering that they saw this all as some sort of game. Too bad Hermione didn't share their outlook on the situation.
"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" she screamed, flailing her sopping limbs furiously.
"Hermione calm down" Harry tried to reason with her.
"No! No, no, no, no" she wailed, beating weakly against his chest till she ran out of steam and started crying instead.
"It's not fair" she wept, "It's just not fair."
It rarely was, in Harry's experience, but he knew better that to tell her that. Unsure what to do he opened his arms and she nearly knocked him over when she flew into his chest.
He was already soaked so her tears weren't going to make it any worse, but it sure was awkward. He'd been nearly killed more times than he cared to remember and never broken down over it. Maybe there was something wrong with him.
"Come on Hermione. Let's make camp and call it a day. We'll get back on the road tomorrow."
It was beginning to get late and there was no way they'd make it through the night soaking wet without a fire. Tomorrow would be better. Probably.