Hey ya'll, sorry again that it took me so long to update. Like I said, I sorta died for a while. But, I'm back and ready to write! Please enjoy Ch. 4 of My Hidden Secret!

******Disclaimer: I do not own Letter Bee, its characters, or name. This is purely for fun, not profit.******

Night Before the Long Awaited Bee Ball

Lala POV

"Miss Sylvette…I don't think that this is all necessary." I frowned as I looked in the full length mirror that was part of the house I was staying in. "Besides, my dress is supposed to be blue, not pink."

"Now, now, Lala-Chan, don't you start," my land lady said after taking a pin out of her mouth and securing another fold of the dress. "When's the last time you dressed like a girl? I thought that you might like to have another dress that isn't in that dark blue color that you wear all the time." She was right, I hadn't dressed up like girl since I had become a Letter Bee. Looking at my reflection again, I could feel a small blush rise to my cheeks as I felt the ruffled skirt brush against my legs. Maybe having another dress wasn't so bad.

"Besides," Miss Sylvette continues as she was sewing, "I've already finished Connor's dress and Zazie's suit." She sighed as I tensed up at one of the Bee's names. "Connor's dress would have been so beautiful is he hadn't begged me to make it one of the plainest things I've ever made. No real ruffles, lace, or bows. Just a dark blue dress with small gold accents. But Zazie's suit," I could see her smile as I felt my heart begin to race. "It's wonderful, really. The dark blue looks good on him and I toned down the gold slightly to match his copper eyes." I could see his cat-like copper eyes too clearly.

Ever since I had accidently walked in on a changing session and seen Zazie in nothing but his boxers, I had been avoiding the Bee whenever I saw him and thought of him when I didn't. It was just too embarrassing to look him in the eye now, not that I did that much anyway, but now it's different. Whenever I see him or think of him, my heart does its little flips and I get really nervous, I can't think of what to say, what to do and end up freezing and ignoring him. If only I could still think of Gauche the same way, maybe Zazie wouldn't be creeping in my thoughts anymore.

"Thinking of Zazie?" Jumping, I promptly impaled myself with a pin the seamstress had been holding against my back trying to close a seam.

"Ouch!" I flinched as Miss Sylvette apologized and called it quits for the day.

"I think we've got enough done. Your real dress will be ready by tonight and this one at around the same time."

I rubbed my arms, now back in my Letter Bee pants and jacket. "Thank you, Miss Sylvette. You really don't have to make two in one night." She just smiled.

"I love sewing, Lala-Chan. It's no problem. Now, I'll clean up and get dinner ready." Grimacing, I glanced over to see Niche and Steak sleeping in the corner.

'At least they get to miss dinner.'

Several minutes and a bowl of horrible soup later, Miss Sylvette and I were at the table eating, or at least I was trying to, in total silence. After another five minutes, I had to ask her:

"How'd you know I was thinking about Zazie?" Just saying it brought a deep blush to my face that the young girl didn't miss.

"I've seen the way you act around him and whenever his name is mentioned. Plus, the fact that you're avoiding him after seeing him half naked is all the proof I really need." I glared at her angle's smile and she buttered a roll.

"But I'm just another Bee to him."

"Oh? Is that so?" She didn't look up from her roll.

"Yes," I tried to say with conviction, but it came out a bit flat. I continued. "I'm just another one of the guys. There is nowhere this can go that would end well. Besides, he doesn't even like me…that much, I think." I finished as I poked my soup.

"Really? Hmmm, then maybe I was wrong when I though Zazie's been in a bad mood since you started avoiding him. Maybe he's just tired of Connor stepping on his feet, too bad he doesn't have a better dance partner for practice every now and then. And I must have imagined it when he came up and asked me if you were feeling alright since you haven't been acting normal for a while. I must be mistaken on all of it then if you're sure he doesn't like you at all." She bent her head and took a sip of her soup, oblivious to its terrible taste.

It took me a while to process what had just been said.

He'd been in a bad mood? He'd asked if I was okay? My heart began to speed up and I could feel a small thrill of excitement. Then I saw my evil land lady looking up at me with a smile.

"So you like him."

I don't know which emotion came first; embarrassment, joy, nervousness, or the strange need to talk about everything. All I could feel were my steaming cheeks and pounding heart.

"…yeah…maybe….I don't know…" I mumbled. Sylvette chuckled.

"Oh Lala-Chan, you're too cute! I could tell right away that you liked him. It was written all over your face. Oh, don't worry, the boys down at the Hive are way too dense to have noticed anything, but I could tell. I think you guys are cute together." She smiled, but I couldn't really share in her enjoyment.

"I might, might like him, but doesn't change the fact that, to him, we're both guys. It's kinda hard to keep this," I pointed at my loose hair and unbound chest, "hidden when you get close to people."

"Why don't you just tell him?"

"And say what?" The hopelessness of the situation finally crashed down on me. " 'Hey Zazie, I really like you but, don't worry, I'm not a guy. I'm just a girl who's pretending to be one so she can work here.' Urgh! That's never going to work. He'll think I betrayed him, and everyone in the Hive. Like I said, there's no way that this can ever end well. It's best to leave it how it is." I could feel tears starting to well up in my one eye, the amber eye remind cold.

"Oh," Sylvette rolled over next to me. "I'm sorry Lala-Chan, I didn't see it like that. I just want you to be happy is all. You…We can't keep chasing a dream around." My head jerked up and I could see tears in the girl's eyes, simmering on the edge. "We can't hold on to Gauche forever. You need to find someone that will be there for you, that you care about and cares about you. And let me tell you," she gave a watery smile. "I think he likes you more that you think, even more than I he thinks."

"Sylvette…"

"I'm not telling you to go right this minute and tell Zazie, but I think that, with the Bee Ball coming up, this is the perfect chance to do something about it. You can't be a Letter Bee forever, Lala, might as well understand that and take a chance."

"I-" The small girl held up her hand and silenced me. Clearing her throat, say said:

"Let's not talk about this now. Tomorrow's an important day. The important day. You go get your sleep and I'll work on the dresses. Okay?"

I could only nod my head and say a quick 'g'night' before picking up the Maka child and Steak and heading up to my room. Getting ready for bed, my head whorled with what Sylvette had said. Move on? Can't keep chasing Gauche? Chances? My whole life has been nothing but chances! Was it really worth it? Could I give up this life? I'd come here looking for Gauche, but in the end, I found that I really love being a Letter Bee. Could I just quit without anyone knowing that I'm female? Hardly likely.

Sighing, I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to my nose…

I'd never be able to sleep like this.

Getting back up, I grabbed some brown pants, a white shirt, and an extra hat I had kept. After binding my chest, dressing, and putting up my hair, I tip-toed over to the window. Niche would throw a fit if she found me trying to go out by myself and Sylvette had wicked hearing. Opening it, I gently dropped myself over the ledge and landed softly in my thin leather shoes.

A nice midnight walk would certainly clear my head; I was a night owl anyway. It would give me time to sort through some stuff.

Heading off, I made my way to one of my favorite spots, an older bridge that I had crossed when I had first entered the city. It over looked the small stream that ran through the city and gave an amazing view of the lights. Zoning out, I left my feet take me as I focused on what to do at tomorrow's ball. My thoughts were scrambled and I quickly found myself at the bridge. Sitting on the ledge, I let my legs dangle.

A small breeze rustled the leaves and my hair leaving me slightly shivering. Why hadn't I brought a jacket? It would be nicer out if I could be warmer. Then I remembered how warm Zazie's arms had been when he had pulled me in to dance. Couldn't I think of anything else? Hanging my head, I sighed.

"What's with that long sigh? You're not too depressed about tomorrow, are ya?"

I slowly turned around to meet cat-like eyes and was thankful that the minimal light hid my red ears.

"Zazie…"

He smiled as he continued to walk up next to me. "Yo."

Hope you guys enjoyed. Wrote this pretty fast after getting a message asking me to update more. Please review, comment, ect.