Act 1, Scene 3:
"Electric Daisies"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
The alarm clock sears through my head with all the subtlety of a speeding train. I reflexively flop over, fumbling blindly to smash it, but to no avail. I clip the corner of it, and it makes a leap for safety – right down behind my nightstand. To add insult to injury, I hear rattling as it takes several pill bottles with it.
I groan and clench my teeth as the electronic taunting continues. I hoped I would have at least hit the snooze button during those theatrics.
I sit up and swing my legs out over the edge of the bed in one swift motion, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. Standing, I lean over the edge of the nightstand to see the cruel red display staring maliciously back at me. It takes a few seconds, but I'm finally able to silence it and put it back in its place along with half of my medications.
It takes a few more seconds for the cobwebs in my head to completely clear. There's no class today, so I had set the alarm for a bit later than I usually would. Still, I didn't think I'd actually sleep in until eleven. I guess the rigors of this first week at Yamaku ended up taking a bigger toll on me than I thought.
I stretch, the sore muscles in my back protesting. My sleep schedule still isn't normal, so I find myself waking up either incredibly early like the time Saki rescued me from Shizune, or I find myself barely making it to class. I idly wonder if part of it could be because of my medication as I wrestle with the top of a bottle. Maybe I should talk to Nurse about it.
Yawning, I step over to the window and take a look outside. Not only is it Sunday, but it's the day of the festival as well. I can see a few people lingering around between the various booths and stalls set up, half of which have to be students. Maybe it's still early for too many people to show up. I didn't really have any plans for the day myself. There are a few tests this next week I need to study for, but I shouldn't have a problem with them.
I hear some shouting drift up from down below and look to see a group setting up rows of seating before the stage. I gave them a hand in setting it up yesterday because Saki asked me to, but I didn't realize they were setting it up right under my window. I notice Chisato directing a pair of fellow students with chairs under their arms with the precision of someone on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.
Saki had roped me into helping yesterday purely by chance, or at least, that's what she'd claim if questioned. I had woken up insanely early, and was unable to get back to sleep. I had surrendered to the thought of it being a long day and decided to take a walk around campus to kill time before classes started, something I've started doing more recently this week. I ran into Saki completely by coincidence over by the arts wing, heading back towards her dorm carrying a gym bag over her shoulder. Joining her on the walk back, I found out she had a morning routine of heading to the school pool early before the day truly started. I didn't think much of it, equating it to my morning walk or Emi's morning runs.
After she dropped her bag off, we grabbed breakfast again in the cafeteria and I asked her how the festival preparations were going. Between bites of bland eggs and burnt toast I learned everything was nearly ready except setting up the collapsible stage for the performance tomorrow.
Without thinking, I asked if there was anything I could do to help, and sure enough, hours later I was wrestling with lengths of pipe and various hand tools.
Okay...maybe I exaggerated when I say she roped me into it.
My stomach growls as I finish taking the last of my morning medications. I should probably head down to get something to eat; I'm curious to check out the festival anyway, and I'd like to see the band performance later, especially after skinning my knuckles setting up the stage yesterday.
After buying a plastic plate of takoyaki from a stall belonging to the class next to ours, I take a seat in the school gardens and watch people pass by as I dig in. It's a bit bland, but I shouldn't complain as it was fairly cheap and does a good job of curbing my appetite.
As I sit there nibbling, I notice that the school grounds are getting more crowded as people file in. I see families of children excitedly dragging their parents around from one event to the next, filled with energy from the sugary treats they carry. Some people are parents or guardians of students, as evidenced by someone in uniform showing them around and pointing out various things. Still others are there by themselves, and I can't help but notice most of these are in an older age bracket. Come to think of it, I noticed that earlier in the week when I went down into town to go shopping.
This must be one of those towns where the only people left are those that lived here their whole lives and refuse to leave, or those wanting to live out the rest of their lives in one of the increasingly few tranquil places. That must be one of the reasons Yamaku's atmosphere is so easygoing and laid back. Not that I mind one bit. I like how calming Yamaku is, especially after what happened to land me here.
The humidity, though, is another matter entirely. I can already feel my shirt starting to stick to my back where I'm leaning against-
Gah!
I'm shaken from my thoughts by a loud clanging of bells blaring from the school's PA system. I stand up, and a few of the people near me share my reaction. I hear the principal make a garbled announcement over it, officially declaring the opening of the festival, already well in full swing. The statement draws varied responses from the people around me. Some smile, others groan, and interestingly enough most of the students I see don't react at all. I imagine they wouldn't, given they've been in the festival mindset for the last week. Still, everyone gives polite applause after the voice goes silent before going back to whatever it was they were doing.
I stare down at the now empty plate, wondering how I'm going to spend my day. I could go get another plate of takoyaki; this one wasn't that bad. I heard there's fireworks at the end of the day, but that's later. Rin was working frantically at her mural up until the last moment. I could go see how that turned out. I could go see what time band is having its performance. I could check out some of the games that have been set up. Or I could just retreat back to someplace quiet like the rooftop or the library.
Still undecided but opting to move, I throw the plate into a trashbin and lose myself among the flow of people. They all seem to be heading towards the main school building, which seems as good a place to start as any.
As we draw closer, I'm actually surprised to see how many stalls have been set up around the perimeter of the main building. A few clubs and classes must have opted to have more than one booth. I see stalls hosting all the standard games one would find at a festival, along with all the low quality foods that are just as much of a staple.
I decide to start over by the booth on the end of the line and make my way down. I hear an excited shriek and general applause as I get closer from the people gathered around it, but I can't make out the reason. A few seconds later, a small girl darts into view holding a plastic jar with a goldfish in it, awkwardly running in her excitement as her parents take long strides to keep up. I have to make a quick sidestep to avoid being crashed into.
Completely oblivious, the girl careens on, the poor fish being shaken like a baby rattle. The mother gives an apologetic nod as she passes me.
"Hisao!"
I turn back towards the stall, the gap in humanity letting me get a clearer view of who's running it. I see Saki rising to her feet, her lower body being blocked out by a very large fish tank at waist level. She waves to me and I find myself waving back as I pick up my pace.
"So, this is what the band is up to?" I say, coming to a stop in front of the booth. I stare down at the tank to see the surface rippling with the cream and orange bodies of dozens of small goldfish. Saki had mentioned that the band was setting up a stall during her argument with Shizune earlier in the week, but I honestly didn't know what type of stall it was going to be. I haven't seen one of these games in years! Taking in the rest of the surroundings, I see a few boxes of paper nets near the back of the booth, along with some colorful banners explaining the rules to those not familiar.
"Yep! At least for a while," Saki says. "We have that booth over there too," she continues, pointing to the one next to us. A quick glance shows a ring toss game of some sort.
"Two?" I say, impressed. "You weren't kidding about being busy."
"We're not on our own," she explains, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. "The whole arts wing has these few booths and we're rotating shifts during the day. Band's running the show for another...hour," she says, turning her wrist to look at a small golden watch. "Then drama takes it over while we have our performance."
"That seems fair."
"It would be, if half the people bothered showing up," Saki mutters darkly. Just as quickly as the cloud descends on her face, it lights up again as she looks off to the side. "Sorry," she says apologetically to me, "but it looks like we have someone who wants to try!"
Next to me I see a young boy gawking wide-eyed at the fish tank, completely hypnotized by the motions of the creatures within. Saki bends her knees to bring herself to eye level with him across the top of the tank, getting his attention. "Would you like to try and catch one?" she asks cheerfully.
His eyes get bigger as they make contact with Saki's. "Can I?" he asks, in wonderment.
"Mhmm!" Saki affirms, nodding. "That is," she hesitates, turning that thousand-watt smile towards the couple standing behind the boy, "if it's okay with your parents?"
The child looks up towards his mom, his face plastered with the purest look of expectation and longing I think I've ever seen. What makes it even better is that Saki joins her gaze with his, matching his expression perfectly. It's all I can do to keep from bursting out laughing.
What mother could stand up under that barrage? Not this one. She sighs as she hands over a few paper notes to Saki while the boy gives an enthusiastic clap of his hands and emits a squeal of delight. Saki turns and puts the money away into a box behind the counter, then turns back with a paper net already in hand.
"Now, be careful!" she says as she hands over the net. "Pick one you like, but choose a good one! If you let the net stay in the water it gets weaker, and if you try to pick one that's too big he may break out!"
With laser like precision, he homes in on one he likes and dips the net in. Sensing danger, the target fish makes a beeline for the other side of the tank when the net approaches. The boy's brow furrows in concentration as he gives chase. After a few seconds of epic struggle, he pins the fish against the side of the glass!
"You got him!" Saki encourages. "Now just lift the net up carefully..."
The boy follows the advice and actually manages to get the net above the surface of the water, when in one final desperate act, the goldfish flails violently and tears through the fragile paper. It lands back in the tank with an audible plop, clearly imitating the youngster's spirits.
All four of us watching give a small disappointed "oooh," as the fish dives at full speed towards the safety at the bottom of the tank. The boy looks absolutely crushed. "I almost had him!" he exclaims, staring intently at the one that got away.
Saki gives the parents a wink over the top of their son's head, then crouches down to his level again. "That was so close! Do you think you could get him if you tried again?"
"Yes!" he answers at once.
"Alright! One more time then!" she says, matching his enthusiasm. Reaching one hand under the counter, she pulls out another net. This net looks a little different, although I can't quite put my finger on why before the boy snatches it and dunks it in, intent on round two.
The fish gives a valiant fight, but in the end gets pinned against the glass again. The boy lifts it out of the water, and at the critical moment, it starts to thrash around again. This time, it isn't so lucky. The paper holds, despite the desperate movements.
"I got him, mommy!" he shouts, full of accomplishment. Saki takes the net from him and swiftly deposits his prize into a waiting jar.
"Good job!" Saki praises, carefully handing him the fish. "Now make sure to keep him in a nice clean bowl and feed him every day, okay?"
"I will!" he says, taking the jar with both hands. The father looks amused at the whole situation, having not said a word the entire exchange up to this point.
"Come on, Yutaka," he says, taking his son by his free hand. "Let's see some more and then we'll take him home, okay?"
"Okay dad!" Yutaka replies, all smiles. "Thank you!" he says to Saki, bowing slightly before dragging his parents away, high on his recent victory.
I'm just left there staring at what just happened. Saki grabs a nearby towel and wipes the water off her hands. She puts both the net and the towel underneath the counter again when she notices me looking at her.
"Okay," I say, narrowing my eyes. "What just happened?"
"What?" Saki answers, staring at me with an innocent grin. Too innocent.
"That net..."
Saki laughs. "Oh, that? Maybe he was just really lucky..."
The stare I give her lets her know I'm not buying it for a second. This only causes her to laugh harder.
"Uh huh," I prod. "And are you going to tell you didn't help at all?"
"Will you believe me if I say no?"
"Probably not."
"Then it doesn't matter what I answer, does it?"
I sigh, admitting defeat, and move to change the topic of conversation. "When did you set all this up? I didn't see you when we were putting up the stage yesterday, which, I may point out, you asked for my help with."
Without missing a beat, she responds. "Just because I wasn't there doesn't mean I wasn't busy. And besides, you should know better than to ask me to lift heavy objects by now." She pauses for a moment, and raises an eyebrow. "You wouldn't want me to tattle on you to Shizune that you weren't giving a hundred percent, would you?"
"Alright, alright," I say, holding up my hands. "You win. You're welcome, by the way."
"Honestly, I do appreciate it," she sighs tiredly, all the playfulness gone from her tone. "We're not the only ones using it today either."
"Where did the fish come from?" I ask, staring at the darting figures again.
"We get them in bulk down at the pet store in town. They're cheap because they use them as feeder fish. The jars are just from a food service place, and we order the nets online."
"What do you do with the leftover fish at the end of the night?" There's many more fish in the tank than there are jars from what I can see, unless there's a hidden cache that I'm not seeing.
"We've already paid for them," Saki explains, "so we just end up giving them away at the end of the festival to anyone who wants one, or two, or ten." With another sigh, she sits down on one of the folding chairs and starts to fan herself with a piece of paper.
I notice her forehead is slightly damp. It looks like the humidity and heat might be getting to her too.
"What time did you get to sleep last night? You look completely drained," I observe.
"Not that late, but I was up pretty early. Nobody's been getting much sleep this week," she says. "The preparations for the festival have been pretty hectic, plus I've had to practice with the rest of band for our show in a bit." She yawns. "I'll be glad when it's over. I might just skip out on the rest of the festival and go straight to bed."
I lean against the edge of the stall, feeling my own lack of sleep catching up with me after hearing her mention it. "Aren't you supposed to run the booth for the rest of the day after you play?" I ask.
Saki snorts derisively. "Let Chisato do it. She was supposed to be here already helping me, but she had to go set up chairs. I know she wasn't doing it by herself, and it doesn't take four hours even if she was by herself."
"Four hours? Ouch," I wince in sympathy. "Don't tell me you've been here the whole time."
"Since about eight, yeah," she answers.
"So you haven't had anything to eat?" I ask, alarmed.
"No, not since last night. Yet another reason I'm going to bash Chisato over the head with my violin the next time I see her," Saki growls.
"Do you want to get something? Or I can get something for you, if you want."
Saki looks genuinely grateful for a second at the gesture, then looks around to see who else is manning the adjacent booths, considering her options. Her gaze settles on another student that I've seen earlier during the week – a girl around Saki's height with long purple hair pulled up into small loops on either side of her head.
"Noriko?" Saki asks, getting her attention. The girl snaps her head around with a surprised "hm?"
"I'm completely famished...do you mind if I cut out a bit early to get some food before the performance starts?"
Noriko ponders this for a moment while looking at the various interest people are taking in their booths. "Sure," she finally says in a small voice. "I don't think it should be too much to handle."
"Thanks! I owe you," Saki responds. She quickly retrieves her cane from the back of her chair and sits on the edge of the booth, swinging first one over followed by the other. She holds out her hand expectantly towards me, waiting for me to help her up. I oblige.
"So," I ask casually, putting a hand in my pocket. "What are you in the mood for?"
"The fattiest, greasiest thing I can get," she answers, her eyes twinkling as visions of sugar plums dance in her head.
I laugh. "So basically, the worst stuff for you that you can find?"
"Screw being healthy. I need the calories. What, you don't want to try whatever deep fried horror someone came up with this year?"
I grimace in revulsion. "Ugh, no thanks."
"Oh come on," Saki says teasingly. "It's not like it's going to give you a heart attack."
...ouch.
Both my mind and my body come to a screeching halt when I hear that. Suddenly, with that simple sentence, all the joy and fun of the day fly out of my head with reckless abandon...and ever present at the edge of my consciousness, the dark thoughts I've been keeping at bay are more than eager to fill the empty space.
Saki, for her part, has no idea what she just said. Nor would she, as the topic of my reason for being in Yamaku has never seem to come up in the chats we've had the last week. Nevertheless, the sudden stop and palpable change in mood from me is enough to clue her in that something is wrong. She stops half a step in front of me and turns towards me, confusion written on her face.
"Hisao...?" she questions tentatively.
"No," I say, trying to shrug it off but failing miserably with my tone. "No, I guess it wouldn't, would it?"
Saki's amber eyes look at me with an intensity I've never seen before, searching me, probing me. Her brow furrows slightly as I can see her mind racing to figure out what this means. A quick glance at my chest – almost too fast for me to see, if I wasn't staring back at her – and I can almost read her thoughts as she stares through me. I've done this same routine in the mirror more than once this last week. I know what she sees.
An outwardly healthy looking boy. No missing eyes, ears, limbs, or anything else like that. No walker, wheelchair, or cane to get around. Transferred suddenly to Yamaku after the year had already started. Transferring in the middle of the third year means something serious and sudden must have happened. And yet, you'd never know from looking on the outside. The only logical conclusion based on this – and my reaction to what was just said - is that I ended up at Yamaku because of something to do with my heart.
Almost as if I was speaking aloud, Saki finally puts enough pieces of the puzzle together as I finish my internal monologue. Her eyes go wide and she brings her free hand up to her mouth.
"Oh, Jesus." she says softly. "I'm sorry Hisao...I didn't realize..."
"It's okay," I answer quickly. "I mean, it's not like I told you..."
And yet, I can't help but think...why didn't I bring it up sooner? It's not like I didn't have plenty of chances to earlier. I haven't really told anyone except for Rin who asked outright. I suppose I'm one of the lucky (hah) few that you really wouldn't be able to tell what the "problem" was.
I look around at the people around us, feeling desperately uncomfortable. Sadly, this doesn't seem to help my mood at all. I can see their looks, both at the school in general and towards the other students in particular. The way they openly gawk when someone has their back to them, but then quickly turn away when the object of their attention turns in their direction, as if guilty of being caught.
I feel uncomfortably hot. Whether it's from the noonday heat or from the intensity of the stares I just know are being leveled at me. At least with Saki people can see her cane. With me, it's almost as if it's a challenge. What's wrong with that one?
This is going downhill fast.
"I think I'm still getting used to it myself," I offer up lamely.
"Weelllll..." Saki drawls, a slight smile coming to her lips in an attempt to cheer me up. "You can't use the 'new guy' excuse forever, you know." Her eyes grow softer, as does her voice. "You learn to adjust to...all of it."
"I guess so," I admit. "It just...gets to me at times. But still, baby steps, right?"
"Speaking of steps," she says, turning her body back towards the food stalls and inclining her head to make sure I get the hint, "Can we keep walking? I'm still starving."
And just like that...the oppressive atmosphere deflates. How does she manage to switch from carefree to serious and back again in the span of an eyeblink? Can she really simply brush off these types of things that easily?
I guess you could, if you've gotten used to it. Or maybe her sense of humor is much drier and darker than my own.
"Um, sure," I stammer out quickly when I realize I haven't answered her question. We resume our course towards a food stall at the other end of the building.
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask Saki as I fall into step besides her. This might not be the wisest thing to ask, but I can't stop myself from asking it.
"Hm?" she mutters, turning her face towards mine to give me her undivided attention.
"Why...why didn't you ask? Why I'm here. At Yamaku, I mean," I stammer, the words fighting desperately to not leave my mouth.
Saki's brow creases for a second as she considers the question, her mood changing slightly. "I just figured you'd tell me if you wanted to," she puts simply, in a matter-of-fact tone that seems to scold me for thinking the answer would be anything but. "You haven't asked me about my cane either. I've seen you looking at it, and me, and every time I catch you at it, you look so guilty."
I rub the back of my neck, feeling more guilty than ever as my face heats up.
"Still stuck on it that much?" Saki asks when I give no reply. She stops and waits for me to face her before continuing.
"Okay. Look, Hisao," she starts, her tone deadly serious. "You can't tiptoe around people like this. Or yourself. Everyone here has a reason that they're here." She points down the walkway towards a student in a wheelchair being pushed by a family member. "Sometimes it's obvious." She gestures with her eyes towards my chest. "Sometimes it's not. I don't know what exactly happened to you, but please, take it from someone who's been where you are for a lot longer than you have been. We're not normal. And that's fine."
"Saki..." I blurt, too stunned at her outburst to say anything. She just continues rolling on right over me.
"I know it takes time to adjust. But you know what? Purposely going out of your way to treat someone like they're some sort of, I don't know, 'extra-normal' person makes them feel ten times worse, and just rubs it in that they aren't." Her voice lowers as she glances around. "We all get enough of that from the people around us. So don't you start doing it too. Not even to yourself. Especially not to yourself," she finishes, with a voice filled with intensity.
My first reaction is anger.
My second reaction is that she's right.
"I..."
...can't manage a reply.
Saki sighs and turns her eyes away from me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so harsh. It's just..."
I wait for a few seconds before she continues, her voice much softer than before, with a twinge of regret.
"So many people that end up here fall into the same trap," she says, closing her eyes. "Some are like Lilly, or Shizune, or Rin, where they're born with issues so they haven't lost anything. Then others come here because they lost everything. Car crash, heart attack, diving accident, some doctor tells them there's a tumor in their brain that will kill them before they're thirty...it doesn't matter what happens, just that it does."
She pauses for a breath, letting it out slowly, as if trying to order her thoughts in her head before speaking again.
"They get here, they run into people who try to treat them like they're made of glass, and they shut down. They never accept what happens because people around them keep trying to sweep it under the rug like it never happened. So they feel like failures because they can't get over it when everyone is trying to tell them they should. And they just...give up." She shakes her head. "Nobody says 'It's okay to feel sorry for yourself once in a while. It's okay to think that whatever happened to you isn't fair. It's okay to get pissed off and cry and scream and punch a wall or throw something.' So they get into their own little world of pity and never come out of it. I don't want to see that happen to you, Hisao."
I'm stunned. Really, that's the only word I can use to describe it, and it's so inadequate.
In the months since my heart attack, everyone around me – my parents, my friends, my doctors, even Iwanako – they all tried their best to cheer me up, to make me feel normal. And it was painfully obvious when it was forced. Saki's completely right – it did start to wear at me. They even tried to be optimistic about Yamaku, saying it was an opportunity. By that point I was so pissed off and wallowing in self pity that I was resenting every good-natured attempt around me.
By trying their best to make sure the full weight of what happened never hit me, I still haven't truly been able to mourn for anything I've lost.
Thinking back, I did deal with a small handful of people during my hospital stay that were frank and open with me, and I appreciated it. I even find Mutou's concerns and Nurse's lecturing refreshing, by contrast to the way people were treating me beforehand. They haven't tried to avoid or tiptoe around my issues, or the problems of anyone else, for that matter.
By addressing those issues, they just make them another part of everyday life and not some black sheep or elephant in the room.
There's a very large difference between someone telling you what you want to hear, and someone telling you what you need to hear. Sometimes, you don't even recognize the difference until someone does...well...that.
"Thank you," I say, a small smile coming to my face with the sheer irony and absurdity of it all. "I needed to hear that."
"Damn straight you did," Saki chastises. My smile turns into a laugh, just like it always seems to do when talking with her.
Saki and I continue down the path towards what appears to be the largest food stall, dodging people moving in the other direction. I can tell we're getting closer from the smells and the increasing number of people with various plates in their hands.
"How about this one?" I say, pointing to it. The large variety of signs advertise all different types of traditional and fair-exclusive foods at what look to be decent prices.
"Looks good to me," Saki agrees. The two of us find what appears to be the back of the line and park ourselves in it.
"So," I ask, idly craning my neck around the people in front of us to scan the menus, "Is it the whole band that's playing today or is it just a few people?"
"We're all doing a few songs together first, then a few people are doing their own thing."
"Oh?" I respond, turning towards her. "Are you doing anything like that?"
"Yep." She smiles. "Chisato and I are doing a piece we've worked on before."
I realize that while I know Saki plays the violin, I've never seen Chisato with a case that holds her own instrument, or even what that instrument would be. "Really? What does she play?"
"Chisato plays the piano. Well, not today, obviously. We drag the keyboard out for that."
"Oh thank god. I thought you were going to ask me to move a piano next," I joke. The band room had a rather large one in the corner that I had seen when I popped my head in. I could only imagine how much it weighed.
"Only at the end of the year. That thing's a bitch to move but we do it for the concert we put on. Makes it more authentic, I guess. At least it's on wheels..." Saki's voice trails off, her focus returning back to the menu as we move up in line. I recognize a familiar face behind the stall, in an intense discussion with another student. Well, maybe not technically a face as it's turned away from me, but there's no mistaking that blonde hair and black ribbon.
"This must be Lilly's booth," I mention to Saki. Looking closer, I recognize the precision of the lettering on the signs could only be done with the same stencils that were used on the game booth.
"Oh wow, if this is 3-2's booth, they really outdid themselves this year," Saki replies, giving the size of the booth another appreciative glance. "This has to be twice the size of the one they usually have."
"Maybe they combined it this year with another class like yours did?" I ponder aloud, stepping forward again as the person in front of us wanders off with a bowl of soup.
"Could be," Saki mutters as we find ourselves at the front of the line. Lilly turns in our direction to address us without stepping up to the order window.
"I apologize, I'll be with you in a moment," she says, her voice a little ragged to anyone who knows her well enough to pick up on it. Otherwise, she's putting up a very good front to hide that things most likely aren't going as expected. I see her counting off on her fingers, her eyebrows knitting in concentration. Finally, she turns back towards us.
"How can I help you?" she asks in her usual pleasant, if strained, tone.
"Hi, Lilly," I say, both as a way of greeting and a way to let her know it's me. Her face lights up in mild surprise.
"Hisao?" she questions tentatively.
"Yep, it's me. You okay? You look like there's something wrong."
Her shoulders slump. "There was a mixup with our order. We're a lot more popular this year than I thought we would be and somehow it looks like we only ended up with half of what we needed. We might run out at this rate."
"Ouch," Saki says next to me, causing Lilly to slightly turn her head. "We have the opposite problem. I think we ended up with too much."
Lily recognizes the voice as Saki and addresses her. "Hello, Saki. Nothing ever does go perfect at these things, do they?" she mumbles in resignation.
"I don't know, can you cook fish? We have way more than we need of those. Hisao can bring over a bucket if you need it."
"Now wait a minute," I start to protest. Before I can finish my objection, I hear Lilly laughing.
"Thank you for the offer, but sadly, I don't think that would work" Lilly giggles. "What we could really use is some more of our classmates that said they would be here. Ms. Miyagi went off to try to find them but he hasn't had much luck."
"We'll keep an eye out for any that we see," I assure her. "Would smaller portions help out with the shortage problem?"
Lilly's brow furrows in disappointment. "I suppose that will have to do for now. The day isn't over yet, however." With a quick start, she suddenly realizes what she's supposed to be doing. "Oh," she says, shocked. "I'm so sorry! What can I get for the two of you?"
Crap, I forgot about the food. I quickly ask Saki what she would like, using it as a cover to buy time while I make a frantic last glance at the board to reach a decision.
"Can I have two yakitori and a bowl of miso soup?" Saki asks, staring at the board hungrily. "Actually, make that three yakitori." She catches my sidelong glance and pouts. "What? I haven't eaten today. Or most of yesterday."
Having eaten earlier, I'm not that hungry. The soup does sound good, however. "I'll just have a bowl of soup too," I say, reaching to pull out my wallet. Saki stops me with a quick touch of her fingertips to my wrist.
"I'll take care of it. You helped set up the stage, so I owe you."
"You sure?" I hesitate.
"Yeah, absolutely. It's the least I can do."
"Well then," I say, grinning. "I think I want to try the yakitori too."
Saki rolls her eyes and gives an exaggerated sigh of frustration. I only laugh as she hands the money to Lilly. I watch her expertly count out the coins with her fingertips, placing each one in a designated slot in the cash box behind the counter they've set up. She counts out the change in a similar fashion, then holds it out in her hand expectantly. Saki lightly brushes the bottom of it with her own, signaling Lilly to gently drop the coins into her palm. It's such a fluid exchange that I find myself starting at it with my full attention, realizing I would have had no idea what would have been socially acceptable in that situation, or how I would have handled being either of them at that moment. Just that simple interaction that I or anyone else would take for granted becomes a fascinating ritual to observe.
I catch myself. Gotta remember to stop doing that, or at the least, stop feeling bad for doing it.
"It will be a few minutes," Lilly says, breaking the spell. "I'll let you know when it's ready."
"No problem, we'll be off to the side," I answer, moving with Saki out of the way so the people behind us have a chance to place their order. Saki sits down on the edge of a low wall behind the stand in the shade, sagging visibly as she takes out a deep breath. She really is tired.
"You sure you're gonna be okay?" I prod, sitting down next to her.
"I'll be better once I get some food in me," she reassures me. She brushes that stubborn lock of hair out of her eyes again, her watch glinting as it catches a ray of sunlight peeking through the foliage.
We sit for a few minutes, just watching the festival as it passes around us, enjoying the immediate tranquility that surrounds our little bubble. Having been so caught up in the preparations for the festival all week, it's nice to be able to sit down for a second and actually enjoy it. The guests seem to be enjoying it as well, and the sight of a few patrons greedily devouring their food makes my stomach rumble in anticipation. I close my eyes and let it all wash over me. The sounds, the smells, the feeling of a slight breeze over my skin...
My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Lilly call out our names. "Two miso soups and four yakitori?"
"Thank you," I say, jumping up so Saki doesn't have to. I quickly move over to the side of the stall where Lilly has our two bowls and plate of four grilled chicken skewers set aside. It looks and smells delicious, and I make sure to tell her so.
"I hope you two enjoy it," she says, with genuine enthusiasm. "Can you make sure to bring the bowls back later?"
"Sure thing," I say, placing the plate of chicken on top of a bowl and performing a balancing act with the items in my hands. "Try to take a break if you can. You look like you're working really hard."
Lilly gives a small smile at my words. "I'll try, if I get a chance. Thank you for your concern."
I turn away and make my way back to where Saki and I were sitting. She looks up expectantly as I delicately place the food down between us.
"It looks good," I say, bringing the soup up to my mouth for a taste. The broth is a little saltier than I'm used to, but the flavor doesn't disappoint.
"It better be," Saki says, her words muffled by the bite of chicken she managed to already take. "I paid for it after all."
I laugh. "Oh please, you're going to lecture me on taking advantage of others?"
"No, but I'm still going to scowl at you anyway," she says, leveling a menacing glare at me that has absolutely zero malice behind it. The fact that there's a skewer of grilled chicken hanging out of the corner of her mouth makes the image even more comical.
My own yakitori is pretty damned tasty, I have to admit. Usually whenever I would get them they would be dried out or slathered in sauce to the point where you couldn't taste the meat, but whoever they have helping them cook these really knows what they're doing.
Saki makes a noise of approval as she tries her own soup, having finished one of her three skewers already. "Just as good as I remember," she says, placing the bowl down to attack another piece of chicken.
"What about your fried food?"
"Oh, I'll get that later. Right now I just need the energy."
The rest of the meal passes without incident with light conversation, both of us too focused on the food to do much more than eat. Afterward, I throw the plate and empty skewers in the trash, and drop the bowls off at Lilly's stall. I was going to thank her for how good it was, but she seems to have vanished. Maybe she finally was able to take a break.
"How much time do we have?" I say, turning back towards Saki. She's finished standing up, taking her cane in hand and brushing off the back of her skirt with the other. She glances around to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything, then looks at her watch again.
"We should have just enough time to head over there if we hurry."
I nod and the two of us fall into lockstep again, turning towards the dormitories where the stage was set up yesterday. The crush of people here is as large as I've seen, with this courtyard area being the main thoroughfare between all of Yamaku's different buildings being shown off to parents. Saki moves a bit closer to me, pressing her side into mine. It's an innocent gesture designed to make as small a target as possible for the human torpedoes darting around us, but I can't help noticing.
After a few seconds we make our way through that particular knot of people and Saki moves away from me...although not quite as far away as she was before. Then we come into view of the stage and all that is forgotten.
Chisato seems to have finished directing others to set up chairs. If I had to guess, there are a hundred or so out in front of the stage with an aisle running down the middle. Maybe a quarter of them are filled by people waiting for the next show to start, although it's just as likely some of them are sitting down to take a quick break from the activities of the day. The stage itself has two rows of chairs on it, along with an equal number of sheet music stands. A keyboard is set up on one end, with various wires snaking their way to the edge and out of sight.
Saki spots Chisato before I do, in the middle of a group of students milling around off to the left of the stage. Most all of them are carrying instruments of some kind, either in hand or in their cases. I see a few more violins, a big violin that some nagging memory tells me is a cello, several flutes or close enough to where I can't tell the difference, and other things I don't recognize.
"Where the hell were you?" Saki says by way of greeting as soon as Chisato notices us. Chisato runs up to greet us, bowing apologetically.
"I'm sorry!" she says. "There was a problem with the sound system, it hasn't been working right all morning."
"And you're the only one who could fix it?" Saki admonishes. "I don't believe that for a second."
I'm taken aback for an instant. I can tell Saki's genuinely angry, but just as soon as it flares up, she lets it go. There are other things for her to focus on right now and she knows it.
"No, I'm not the only one, but I'm the best at it. I keep telling Ms. Sakamoto that we need a new setup but they're probably going to keep using this one until it melts."
"Ugh, fine. But after this, you're going back to the booth if I have to drag you there myself. Is my violin here at least?"
Chisato moves over towards a bench where everyone has gathered, pulling out a black case. She turns back towards Saki, holding it out like a peace offering, but ready to use it like a shield at a moments notice. Saki snatches it and sits down, wordlessly struggling with the closures.
"So..." I venture, my voice a bit awkward. "Just...find a seat anywhere?"
Chisato turns to me, acknowledging me for the first time. "Oh! Yes, sit anywhere. We're supposed to start in about ten minutes."
Saki looks up from the case as she snaps it open. "Hisao...are you going to stay and watch?" she asks expectantly.
The question kind of catches me off guard. I guess it was just assumed that I was going to stay, although I hadn't given it any active thought. I'm actually curious to hear Saki and the others play. I've never known too much about classical music, outside of attending the mandatory assemblies at my old school where the school band would play something to close it out.
"Sure," I say. "I saw how hard you were working all week, so I'm looking forward to seeing it."
Saki's eyes brighten at my answer, and she moves the case onto the bench next to her. "Can I ask you for a favor?"
"What is it?"
"Can you hold on to my cane for me? I would normally leave it here, but..." she says, her voice trailing off. I see the chaos around me as everyone is setting up their instruments, some nearly as large as they are. It could get very easy to lose something like a cane or have it buried under all the confusion.
"I can do that," I reply. "But don't you need it for the stairs?"
She shakes her head as she hands me the cane. "It's only a few steps. I'll be fine." I nod and accept it from her. It's a bit heavier than I thought it would be, and very sturdy.
"I guess I'll see you after, then?" I ask.
"That works," Saki says, using her now-free hands to pull her violin out of its case. "We have a few songs to play together, and then Chisato and I play something, and then I can get off the stage and sit with you."
I make a mental note to sit near to the side of the stage with the stairs so Saki doesn't have that far to walk. "Okay then," I offer. "Good luck!" Saki breaks her attention from setting up her violin to smile and nod back briefly, before she turns and starts to talk to a bandmate on her left. I take the opportunity to find a seat.
I sit down a few rows back, and idly glance around as more people find their own seats. Less than half the chairs are still filled up, however. I look down at the cane I have in my hand, and turn it in my fingertips, idly contemplating it.
It's a few feet long, with a rubber cleat on one end and a molded plastic handle coated in a thin layer of rubber on the other. A small loop of braided cord hangs from one end of the handle to slip a wrist through. I confirm that it's a bit beefier than I would have thought, but I'm no expert in these things. As I turn the shaft, the barely visible pattern of wood grain tells me why. The cane is made of solid wood, something I find surprising. I had always thought that these were made of hollow metal tubes, at least the ones I've seen. There's no series of holes to adjust the length of it either. I notice a few more details, such as the quality of the fasteners, and gold bands at either end of the shaft between the handle and foot. There's also some kanji stamped into the handle, but it's so worn I can't make it out for sure.
This cane isn't like any I've ever seen. It looks to be custom made, just for Saki. No wonder she wanted someone to hold onto it. I wonder how much it costs to make something like this.
While I finish this thought, the band members shuffle onto the stage. Saki has her violin in one hand and her other on Chisato's shoulder to help balance her. After making sure Saki is situated, she makes her way to the keyboard on the end of the stage.
An older woman stands up in front of the group, her salt-and-pepper hair pulled into a bun to compliment her blue blouse and long skirt. She takes a minute to scan the crowd, with a few of them starting to quiet as they notice her.
"Hello," she announces, her voice loud enough to let people in the audience know the show is about to start. Her voice resonates a quiet dignity as she bows slightly to the crowd. "My name is Hana Sakamoto, and I'm pleased to say that I've been the music teacher here at Yamaku for the last seven years. I'd like to thank all of you for coming today. I know there are a lot of games and food to see, but we greatly appreciate you taking the time to listen to us today."
Polite, scattered applause drifts up from the chairs around me. I join in for a few seconds.
"This year has been an amazing one for us so far," she continues. "We have a truly talented group of students up here today and they've all worked very hard to be able to play for you..."
As Ms. Sakamoto drones on, the faces of the band behind her register a variety of emotions. Some are excited, some are bored, and some seem annoyed. One boy is actively rolling his eyes.
"...we're hoping that you enjoy, and help us out by either donating or checking out several of the booths we have running," the teacher concludes. With a flourish, she turns around and nods to the band, which starts playing.
It's a standard tune, one designed to appeal to as many people as possible while offending none. It sounds rather mechanical, or the type of thing you would hear in an elevator. The same students that were bored during Ms. Sakamoto's speech haven't changed their expressions in the least, despite the fact they're now playing.
I will say this. There's something oddly fascinating about using that level of skill while being completely disdainful doing so.
The music shifts and changes, letting some instruments come through ahead of others, then switching places. It allows each individual person a chance to shine and also be part of the overall group. Saki is one of three violinists, and all three of them play together when called for, their fingers moving over the necks of their violins, the bows moving across the strings.
The first song ends after a few minutes, followed by another round of polite applause. After a few seconds another one starts up, the tempo slightly upbeat compared to the previous tune. It sounds a bit playful, actually, and before I know it I'm tapping my heel in time with the rhythm. Once again, there's no real effort to have certain elements outshine the others.
With the change in mood, I look at the students again. More now have a positive look on their faces, while some have intense looks of concentration as the song slips in and out of complexity. I look at Saki, who is wearing a mask of calm composition as she mirrors the motions of the players on either side of her. She's focused, but there's also a sense of satisfaction written on her face. The rest of the crowd seems to pick up on the energy as well, with more people smiling than there were when the show started.
That song comes to a close as well, with yet more clapping. Ms. Sakamoto turns back toward the crowd after the last stanza fades, with a look of humble pride on her face.
"Thank you for your applause. We would now like to take this time to allow some of our students to showcase their own talents. We firmly believe here at Yamaku in developing each student to their fullest potential and letting them shine, whether it's in music, sports, art, academic studies, or any other area they want to pursue."
As she continues, I notice members of the band shuffling to leave the stage. Chisato retains her spot at the keyboard, and Saki draws her legs closer underneath her chair to allow the students to her side to pass unimpeded. When the procession ends, Saki scoots over to the chair nearest the keyboard.
"Our first piece is from two very talented students, performing a twist on a classic composition. I would like to introduce you to Saki Enomoto playing the violin and Chisato Souma playing the piano." Chisato raises a hand and waves, and Saki gives a slight bow before resting her violin in the crook between her shoulder and chin.
All eyes in the chairs are fixed on the two of them for a few seconds of silence. Chisato and Saki look at each other and both give an almost imperceptible nod.
The melody starts with Chisato playing a few opening notes, moving down and up the scale. Saki brings the bow up and joins in with long, slow strokes that compliment Chisato's playing. The bow moves across the string, eliciting a mournful sound that balances perfectly with the flow of the piano. Instantly, the first few seconds tickles some recognition deep in my brain.
The piece picks up in complexity while keeping the same basic structure, both girls trading off the lead while the other plays an accompaniment in the background. I would be closing my eyes to better experience the music, but I can't take my eyes off Saki. Unlike when she was playing with the band, her body is relaxed, her eyes are closed, and her fingers aren't moving with the formal rigidity they were earlier.
They're dancing.
I've never had a big taste in music. I don't have any real favorite genre. I don't have any presets on my radio back home. I don't have any posters for bands hanging on my wall. I couldn't carry a tune if you gave me a bucket. The few times I've been at assemblies and dragged along by my family to events, I've had to watch other people clapping to get the timing right half the time.
There are a few songs I've heard over the years that just make an instant connection, tied to places or people or events in my life, and when I hear one, time seems to stop for those brief few moments as I'm placed right back there. Some of those moments are good, some of them are painful.
Like my appreciation for most things, music was tainted by my long hospital stay. When I was first admitted to the hospital, I spent several weeks in a shared intensive care ward. None of the doors could be closed so each room and bed had a direct line of sight to the nurse's station to let the glance in at every patient in the ward in case something came up. The station had a radio that was set to the same station and played day in and day out, recycling the same dozen songs every two hours. I didn't mind at first.
Then they started to cut back the good medication.
You can only hear the same song so many times before you begin to understand why the doctors don't keep sharp instruments in patient rooms.
Being moved to a shared recovery room with one other person didn't help much either. They insisted on playing their radio on the same station as well, and they happened to be on the side of the room with the radio. It wasn't until after nearly two months that I got my own room and sweet, blessed silence.
I guess I'm trying to say I'd grown kind of numb to music as a whole the last few months. All that said, before I know it, I'm completely absorbed in what I'm hearing.
A quick look around me shows that many other people are having the same reaction I am. Rapt attention.
Far away, there are still the sounds of the festival. People laughing, children shouting, and the general hustle and noise. But right now, all that exists is this little bubble and the control the two on stage have of it.
All too soon, the music ramps down, with Saki finishing first. The piece ends the way it started, with a final, sad string of notes by Chisato. When Saki lowers her violin and bows, an enthusiastic round of applause starts through the crowd, and I'm gladly swept up in it. No matter what your taste in music, anyone who heard that would have to admit it was quite a show.
It still bugs me. I just know I've heard that song before. Either in a movie, or on the radio, or maybe in the background of a store somewhere.
I'll have to ask Saki about it.
As the applause dies down, Saki and Chisato give one final bow and move off the stage, Saki's hand gently resting on Chisato's shoulder. I get up myself and move to the edge by the stairs to meet them and give Saki her cane back. "You two were amazing!"
"Thank you!" both girls say in unison. Chisato has a look of self satisfaction, while Saki smiles tiredly. Her shoulders sag as if a huge weight has been lifted off of them. It's as if she was running on nothing but anticipation and adrenaline, and now that it's over, she's deflating like a balloon.
"That sounded really familiar. I swear I've heard it somewhere," I comment. Despite her exhaustion, the light never leaves her eyes as she looks into mine.
"Pachelbel," she answers. "It's called 'Canon in D.' It's one of those songs that has probably a hundred different versions. It's usually pretty boring though, so we changed it a little bit."
"Ms. Sakamoto mentioned it was an 'original twist.' Did you come up with the changes yourselves?" I wonder aloud. "That's pretty incredible."
Saki's expression loses just a bit of its cheerfulness, and I don't think it's just because of how tired she is.
"Kind of," she answers. Chisato's face has the same quick look of...something. I can't put my finger on it, but I sense the mood of the conversation just changed subtly.
I'm prevented from asking anything else as three of her bandmates step up, making us realize we're blocking the stairs. With a quick apology, we move off towards the side so they can take the stage themselves. I see two carrying flutes, and one carrying another violin.
Saki walks the few steps to the bench and sits down fairly hard, her fatigue clearly visible. She opens her violin case, fiddles with the knobs on the end of the instrument, removes something from it, and then carefully puts the entire thing into the case.
"Are you okay?" I ask, showing concern. She gives a nod.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just really tired. That took more out of me than I thought it would. It's been a really exhausting week."
"Tell you what," Chisato says. "If you want to get out of here, I'll let Ms. Sakamoto know what's going on. I'll even take care of the booth too."
"You should have been doing that anyway," Saki counters, annoyed. "Besides, I thought you had to run the sound system?"
"Oh, that's pretty much done with now. After our group, there's nothing else scheduled until the fireworks."
Saki shakes her head with a sigh.
"Fireworks?" I question, my eyebrows raising. "They actually have fireworks here?" This is the first I've heard of this. Fireworks aren't cheap, and the fact they would have them at a school festival shows that Yamaku must have some fairly serious financial backers.
"Mm-hmm," Chisato affirms as Saki closes the case. "They have them every year. I heard that this year's are supposed to be pretty good. Are you going to be able to stick around and see?"
"I'm not sure," I hesitate, glancing at Saki. It seems I've left the decision up to her. She picks up on my visual cue.
"I don't think I'm gonna make it that far," Saki says. "I just want to get a drink and probably go turn in early."
Chisato notices how tired her friend is. "Alright, I'll handle things here. Go get some...sleep," she says, winking at me with a mischievous tone to her voice.
Now it's my turn to shake my head and sigh.
Saki gets to her feet, her cane in hand, leaving her violin with the rest of the instruments for the band. It's a simple matter to walk off to the side, excusing ourselves from the vicinity without drawing too much attention. Saki's leaning a bit heavier on her cane, her steps not quite as nimble as usual.
"What would you like to drink?" I ask.
"You know what would really hit the spot right now? Some kind of juice."
"Do you want to look at the vending machines, or try one of the stalls again?" The sun is starting to go down, and the area leading down to the food booths is definitely more crowded than it was on our first trip through.
"Let's try the stall we were at earlier," she says. "I want to see the school lit up at night. You'll love it."
We round the corner to see the thoroughfare, and I see she's right.
The festival is still bustling with activity, but here's a different mood once the sky starts to darken. The path is lit now by glowing red paper lanterns, illuminating the happy faces of the adults and children wandering around. Some have purpose, making beelines between different stalls. Some are along for the ride. Still others simply seem to be happy meandering around, taking in the various sights like ourselves.
"I'm going to find a spot on the grass over in that area," Saki explains, pointing beyond the stalls to one of the large open grassy fields between the footpaths. There's already a multitude of people laying out on blankets and sitting in chairs.
"Come find me?" she finishes, looking at me with that ever present twinkle in her eyes.
"All they had was apple and orange juice," I say apologetically, sitting down on the grass next to Saki. I offer both cans to her so she can choose which one she wants.
She grabs the apple and eagerly pops the tab on it.
"Thank you," she gasps after downing half the can in three long gulps, then gives a quick cough. I start to chuckle at her enthusiasm.
"Don't mention it," I reply, opening my own drink. "But I thought you wanted to turn in early and get a good night's sleep?"
"I do," she says, stretching her legs out in front of her. "But this is the last year I'll get to see this, you know?"
I never even thought of it that way. I'd spent so much time this last week trying to adjust that I'd never even considered that people might feel sad to know this was their last festival they might see.
Saki lays out on the grass completely, placing her hands behind her head with a contented sigh. I take her lead, gazing up at the mostly-night sky as the last trace of sunlight flees behind the hills.
I take a deep breath. All the smells of the food, the grass beneath me, and just the general crispness of the evening air is like a heady drug that instantly calms me. I think that, for the first time since my life changed that day months ago, I'm at peace.
It's a nice feeling.
Like a highlight reel, my brain replays the last few days. Settling into Yamaku. Working with Shizune and Misha. Meeting Lilly and Hanako. My almost disastrous run with Emi. That painfully awkward chat with Rin in the art room. Fortunately, Saki was there and seemed to know how to handle it better than I could. I lost my ability to form coherent thoughts at the sight of her eating with her feet, and never did quite get it back for the rest of that encounter.
Then the time I've spent with Saki wanders to the forefront of my thoughts.
I turn my head slightly to look at Saki out of the corner of my eye. Hers are closed, honey-chestnut hair fanned out around her head and shoulders. Her lips are parted slightly, moving gently as she breathes steadily in and out.
She's asleep.
I think about waking her, but decide to let her be.
Why did she take such an interest in me this first week? I came to this school rather bitter and closed off. I barely wanted to be around myself the first few days, so I can only imagine how pleasant I was around others. But she wasn't put off by it at all, instead constantly trying to make me laugh, to see things from a different perspective, and above all keep me busy. I stare at the scab on the back of my knuckle. No, we certainly can't forget about that part.
Maybe she just wanted to keep me busy to take my mind off various things until I could appreciate them, like this very moment here.
And to get to this point, where I could just relax long enough to feel it? The girl lying beside me is a big part of that.
I'm asking more questions to myself as I watch her. Why is she here at Yamaku? Why does she need the cane? I appreciate her candor about our...situations, but I wonder what caused her to adopt that attitude in the first place.
"Saki?" I blurt out before I even realize I've spoken.
"Hm?" she says sleepily, her eyes fluttering open to look at me.
Too late to back out now, I ask the question in my mind, both ashamed of doing so and surprised I find the courage.
"Why are you here at Yamaku?" How I asked that with a steady voice, I'll never know.
She props herself up on her elbows and looks into my eyes, a piercing stare that holds my gaze. There's a seriousness in the air, as if she's appraising me and thinking what to say. But there's also a hint of amusement, and approval. A few seconds go by, each one more uncomfortable than the last. But unlike the other times this week where I've been caught in a taboo, I don't flinch away.
My face might be growing hot, my ears may be on fire, but I don't flinch away.
Saki breaks into a soft smile. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"
Okay, now I flinch.
"It's okay, Hisao. I know you're curious. I see you looking at me walking with my cane. I just thought it would be better for you if you were the one to ask me. Besides, it's not exactly obvious, is it?"
I give a short laugh. "Well, you were the one who went off on me earlier. I figured it would be safe to ask you. I didn't think you'd be that upset if I did."
"Oh please. I'm not that hypocritical," she says, in mock indignation.
"Hey, cut me some slack. I'm still learning here. About...all of this."
"Sorry, but from now on you're not allowed to use that excuse." Her tone turns a little sad as she continues. "Some people never stop using that excuse."
That one hits a little close to home, but our earlier conversation where she chewed me out helps me understand what she's implying. I look at her expectantly.
"I'm here because I have a degenerative disorder called 'spino-cerebellar ataxia,'" she says, reciting the foreign words as if reciting straight from a textbook. "It's a disease that attacks the nervous system. Messes up various things all over your body."
"I've never even heard of that before."
"Not many people have," she replies sardonically, laying back down again. "As long as I can still get around and play my violin, it doesn't bother me too much."
Saki mentioned it's a disease. People can't regrow limbs, or regenerate hearts or eyes. But most diseases have cures, don't they? "Is there any cure?"
"Nope," she answers, as casually as if I just asked if she knew the answer to a question on a math test. "I mean, I take medications that help with the symptoms, but no cure."
There's nothing in her voice that suggests she's uncomfortable talking about it...but maybe this isn't the time or the place.
"Your turn," she says, catching me off guard. "What brings you to be laying down in the grass next to me on a spring night, waiting for fireworks to start? Something with your heart, right?"
I grimace. "How'd you guess?"
"The reaction to the 'heart attack' comment I made earlier...besides, it's not like you have a cane like me."
"Maybe I'm one of the normal kids here," I offer up lamely. "Like Misha."
Saki laughs. "Run that by me again. Did you just call Misha 'normal'?"
"That didn't exactly sound convincing, did it?"
"Nope. Besides, you transferred in after the year had already started, and I know you didn't end up here because you wanted to," she chides, her amusement reflected in the low lights from the festival.
"I have a heart condition called arrhythmia," I say, trying to match my tone to the one she used when telling me her own affliction. "My heart decides it wants to do its own thing sometimes because it's weaker than normal."
"Oh, that's where the beat is off, right?" Saki exclaims, as if she's enthused she knows what the word means. She winces when she realizes her reaction. "Sorry..."
I chuckle. "You win the million. I had a heart attack that landed me in the hospital for a few months, and after that, well, here I am," I finish with a sigh.
"Can it get better? With medication, or..."
"I swear, I take my own body weight in pills every week. I even take pills that do nothing but combat the side effects of other pills," I say. "My doctors say that light exercise should help, but Nurse convinced me to go for a morning run with Emi and it didn't go so well."
That's a bit of an understatement, to say the least.
"Well, if you can't run," Saki muses, her face turning thoughtful, "what about swimming? That's what I do for exercise."
"So that's the reason why you always go to the pool before school starts?" I ask. "Huh. I just assumed Yamaku had a swim team."
"Yamaku has some after school clubs, but, well...we don't really have much in the way of teams."
"Ah," I say. Yeah, I can see why a school for the disabled doesn't exactly have a competitive soccer or baseball team. Actually, that's painfully obvious in hindsight.
Still, swimming? Nurse did mention that as an option, at least to start out with. The only real downside I can see is...well...I can barely stand to look at my scar in the mirror. The thought of letting other people see it pretty much kills any enthusiasm Saki might have tried to instill in me. I suppose I could swim with a shirt on, but that would draw just as much attention as the scar would...
Saki senses my hesitation. "Just think about it, okay?"
Before I can reply, a booming noise sounds out in the distance, startling everyone. Two seconds later, the sky comes alive with a bright green explosion that turns the sounds of shock into squeals of delight.
Red. Blue. Orange. Green. The sky is bathed in brilliant light as the colors dance on the dark canvas. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen fireworks in person, and I've never been this close to them before. Every flash of light is followed by another boom half a second later, some larger than others.
"Oh wow!" Saki shouts in excitement. "This is way larger than last year!" I look at her and see the look of pure joy on her face, her eyes darting to take in every firework that goes off. The two dark pools light up with almost every color you can think of.
As another round of fireworks goes off from the town below to join the ones up on the hill, I turn towards them.
This is another one of those moments. Where no matter how badly things have ended up to bring you to them, you stop and appreciate everything about them...and they're made even more special by what you had to go through to get to them.
And more than one in a single day? I can't remember that happening, even before I ended up in the hospital.
Happy gasps and other noises from the crowd add to the entire experience, and for the next ten minutes or so, time seems to stand still as everyone is completely absorbed.
"Here it comes!" Saki says loudly, when the fireworks slack off for a few seconds.
"Here what comes?" I ask, my own voice raised since I can't hear much.
"The finale!"
No sooner does she say that then the fireworks start up again, in ferocious intensity. One after the other until that entire part of the sky seems to be one bright, multicolored display. Cheers sound out from around me, matching the intensity of what's happening above our heads.
Finally, with one last booming echo and a bright flash that leaves an afterimage burned into my retinas, the fireworks show is over.
As my hearing comes back, I hear voices talking about what just happened. About half of the people in the crowd start to stand up, taking stock of their various things like blankets, lawn chairs, and children.
"Is that it?" I wonder, looking around me at the movement.
"Pretty much," Saki says, raising herself to a seated position and brushing some strands of grass off her arms. "There's nothing else really planned for the rest of the night. Awesome way to end it though!"
"Makes sense that they would use it to close the festival, I guess," getting to my feet.
"The booths should be open for a while longer," Saki explains. She holds up her hand towards me and I use it to help pull her up. She smooths out her skirt and stretches, yawning. "Everyone suddenly realizes they want to play one last game or get some more food. Do you?"
I bend down to pick up our two drink containers. "I'm pretty full, actually, and you already fell asleep on the grass."
"I wasn't sleeping. I was resting my eyes."
"Sure you were."
"Alright, you win," she concedes, yawning again. "Can we get going back to the dorms? I'm about to pass out."
That seems like a good idea, actually. I can feel my own energy reserves dropping now that the adrenaline from the fireworks has worn off.
"I think we might have to wait a while though." I say, scanning ahead. The crush of humanity is moving slowly but inexorably towards the front gates, away from the dorms. I don't think we're going to be able to swim upstream through that.
"Here, this way," she says, grabbing my arm after a quick glance. She leads us across the great lawn towards the back of some of the booths, then slips into one. I follow.
We're back at the band's goldfish booth. Saki sits down in one of the empty chairs. "I figured this would be as good a place as any to rest for a while until people start to leave."
Chisato and the other girl from earlier...Noriko?...are busy over the fishtank. "Free fish! Come take one, or two, or ten!" Chisato calls out like a carnival barker, so intent on what she's doing she never even noticed the two of us. Saki whacks the back of Chisato's leg with her cane playfully, causing the dark haired girl to jump in surprise.
"What the?" Chisato exclaims, turning to look at the two of us. "Where did you two come from? I thought you were going to go to sleep?"
"Caught a second wind. We thought we'd hide here for a while," Saki says. "No way to get back to the dorms right now."
Noriko speaks up shyly. "Did you enjoy the fireworks?"
"Yeah, they were amazing this year," Saki says, and the two of them start talking among themselves. I walk up towards Chisato to get a better look at what she's doing. She's scooping fish into the plastic cups from earlier as quickly as she can.
"Need some help?" I ask.
Chisato shoots me a grateful look. "Thank God. We've been giving these things away since the fireworks ended and we only have about a dozen left. I scoop, you lid?"
"Sure," I say, and she hands me a cup with a rather energetic occupant bouncing madly against the plastic. I take a lid from the stack sitting on the table and put it firmly in place. Working quickly, we soon have all the rest of the tiny creatures taken care of.
Chisato yells out her offer again, and several people come by to take advantage of it. Some take only a single cup while others take two or three. I notice a lot of the other booths, save for the food vendors, are already in the process of turning off their lights and tearing down. A few have a line of people waiting to play one last game.
"Here," Saki says behind me, causing me to turn. She hands me one of the cups that was on the table.
"Thanks," I say, turning to get ready to hand him to someone who already has two. Saki stops me.
"No, keep him. It's a thank you present for all your help the last few days. He's yours."
I'm a bit dumbfounded at this. I glance at the fish floating lazily in the glass, then hold him up to get a better look at him. He's one of the larger ones; a mottled thing with a gold back, cream belly, and black freckles all over.
"Uh, you don't really have to. I don't know the first thing about fish and I don't know if we're allowed to have one in the dorm."
Saki waves her hand dismissively. "I have a few in a bowl in my room. As long as it's not something like you would see at the aquarium, you should be fine."
"And they allow this?"
"I'm sure they would."
"So, in other words, you don't know."
Noriko laughs, having heard the entire exchange. I just sigh again. I have the feeling I'm going to be doing that a lot in the future.
After a few more minutes of idle talk, all the other goldfish are gone. Chisato brushes her hands on the front of her skirt, and Noriko starts to unplug the lights.
"Are you ready?" Saki asks me, noticing the crowd has died down. There's still a fair amount of people on the grounds, but not nearly as many as there were making their way home.
I notice Chisato give Noriko a look.
That look.
"Don't let us keep you two," she says with a teasing tone. "We'll finish up here tonight and tomorrow morning when we wake up. Your violin was taken back to the room with all the rest of the instruments after the show."
"Thanks, Chisato. Sorry for being hard on you earlier. Did you get anything to eat?" Saki asks with concern.
"Eh, I deserved it. Don't worry about it. And yep, I got plenty. About to get a snack after we get done here."
"Alright. See you two tomorrow," Saki says.
"Thanks for the help, Hisao," Chisato says over her shoulder, already intent on another task.
"Anytime," I answer automatically. Oh man. Why do I think I'll be eating those words?
And with that, Saki and I make our way back towards the dorms, tracing the same route we used earlier to get to the stage in the first place. There's still the sound of people, but most of the noise has quieted down to where I can hear the gentle clacking of Saki's cane every time it touches the ground.
"So, Hisao," she says in step beside me. "Did you enjoy the festival?"
"Yeah," I say, truly meaning it. "I think, after this week, and after everything else, I really needed it."
"Good," she answers, unable to hide the tiredness in her voice. "I'm glad. Hope you didn't mind spending most of it with me."
"Not at all. I had a good time."
It was pretty amazing, actually. The entire day was, thinking back on it. I didn't know what to expect when I woke up today. I wasn't even sure I was going to go to the festival at all, much less enjoy it. Kind of fitting given my whole attitude towards Yamaku was similar when I first transferred in. But the day ended up being fun.
Fun? No, not exactly the right word. Peaceful, calming, enjoyable. All those things. Mesmerizing was another good term for parts of it. I realize that I didn't just enjoy the music, or the food, or the fireworks, but I enjoyed pretty much every way I spent my time today.
And who I spent that time with.
"Looks like this is where we part ways for the night," Saki says. We're in the courtyard before the dorms before I had even realized it. "Get a good night's sleep, okay?"
"I should be saying that to you. You're the one who can barely stand up."
"Hey, you're the new guy. Someone has to look out for you."
"I thought you said I wasn't allowed to use that as an excuse anymore."
"Right. You can't. I can," she giggles, turning away from me to start to walk towards the entrance to the female dorm.
"Hey, Saki?" I manage after she takes a few steps. She stops and turns around to face me.
"Thank you." Thank you for what? Thank you for spending time with me today. Thank you for playing that song. Thank you for being concerned about me. Thank you for reaching out to me this last week. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for verbally slapping me and challenging me.
All of that passes through my mind in a second. And I swear, after three seconds when her face breaks into a warm smile, she's understood. All of that.
"You're welcome," she replies, with just as much unspoken.
And with that, she turns and walks through the door, with it closing behind her. I'm left standing in the courtyard to end the day, just as it really began hours ago.
Thank you for letting the day be fun. And thank you for showing me it was okay for me to have fun.
All I really had to do was just open my mind to the possibilities as to what could have happened today, and take that first step of leaving my dorm room. And it turned out to be a great decision.
Can I do the same thing with Yamaku, in general? With my new life? Can I just stop being bitter about it for long enough to actually accept that this might be a good thing?
I don't know the answer to that.
But I know that I'm going to try.