Catelyn
There was a downpour that day. A complete caravan awaited at the principal gate, extending beyond the castle's walls to half the city. Tiedoll offered his arm to me while he guided my paralyzed body through the farewell party that stood under the archway.
It felt surreal. The servants that I had known my entire life observed quietly as I walked from the castle to my brand-new personal carriage. Dark skinned people, servants I didn't know and my new maids looked at me as if I was some sort of exotic attraction. I heard murmurs and whispers, but, other than that, the crowd was eerily silent.
I glanced around anxiously, expecting to see Allen before I once and for ever stepped out the castle. When my eyes finally encountered his, I was wretched to discover that he had been left at the end of the bunch of people gathered, far from me by the time I reached the front. However, we only had to look at each other to communicate everything. In his gray iris I could read dread and preoccupation.
I swore under my breath.
Before anyone could advise me to do otherwise, I unhooked my arm from Tiedoll's and elbowed my way towards Allen. Damned be the gossip. Damned be the Portuguese and Tykki Mikk. I was going to say goodbye to my friend. He ran to me and we fused in one last hug.
"Don't go." Allen whispered in my ear, "Don't go, Cat, please."
I didn't reply. I knew that if I opened my lips, a stream of sobs and tears would start to run down and that was the last view I wanted my people to have from me. I had no option, Leverrier had secured that. If I was leaving, I would leave like a highborn lady, with my head held high, even when my knees trembled uncontrollably.
"I am a princess." I solemnly declared and stepped back. If I said it to appease him or myself I couldn't tell, but the words bestowed me some sort of sense of duty that strengthened me. I lifted my chin and spun on my heels, daring not look back at Allen or any of my other friends as I walked back again to the gap between my people and the Portuguese.
It pained me to not look at mom nor dad amongst the crowd. I slowed my steps, in case they decided to make a last-minute appearance, but it didn't happen. By the time I stood beside my carriage with Emily and Lala, my other British maid, I realized it was too late for them to show up.
I stared at the guards, cookers, servants….they were the closest thing to a real family I had. Toma's eyes were reddened, and Nana was crying. I refused to look at them, determined not to follow their weakness. I inhaled soundly and turned to the knight that held the door open for me.
"Wait!"
I turned around. The crowd split in two and, in between, Elizabeth came out running in my direction. Her boots splashed mud all over her dress, but she didn't seem to mind. As soon as she reached me, she embraced me in a tight hug and sobbed in my ear.
"I'm going to miss you!" she exclaimed out-loud when she stepped back. She grabbed my hands between hers and squeezed, "I'm going to really miss you! You're going to be an amazing acquisition to the Portuguese crown!"
Her effusiveness overwhelmed me. Her hair was soaked in spite of the servant carrying an umbrella. I knew how much she loathed getting dirty, and, for a moment, her gesture touched me. My lower lip trembled, until I noticed the coldness in her eyes. She was not looking directly at me. Her gaze was somewhere between my forehead and the carriage behind me.
Diplomacy. Politics. Impress the crowds. I watched past her shoulders. Some of the maids were sniffing at the heart-warming show.
I dedicated Elizabeth a sad smile and kissed the back of her hand. Hypocrisy disguised as diplomacy was a game I might as well start learning how to play. "Take care of our people." It surprised me how difficult it was to babble that out. I swallowed and dryly said, "I'll miss you too."
Elizabeth leaned forward and kissed me in the forehead. Of course. No one could be more loving than she was. Even in this she had to win. "Have a safe trip. Write often."
How often? Once every two years, or every five?
"I'll write to you every single day." I flashed a smile that pretended to be reassuring, but I was quite sure that it seemed rather awkward. However, we exchanged a few more warm-cold words until the knight hurried me.
It was time. I didn't look back. The knight, a tall, good-looking man with fair skin held the door open for me. I climbed the two steps and sat down parsimoniously. In climbed Emily, Lala and a tanned woman with curly hair that I didn't recognize.
"Who are you?" I blatantly questioned once the door was shut close.
She blinked, astounded that I had talked to her, "Trianna, Your Grace." Her accent was broad and guttural. There was something in her air that I didn't like. Her eyes observed me haughtily and her mouth had turned into a thin, arrogant line.
"Next time, make sure you introduce yourself properly." I commanded and looked out the window. I could feel Emily and Lala's eyes fixated upon me, but I didn't acknowledge them. I needed some quiet time.
As the carriage started to move, I watched the crenels and towers get lost in the distance. The grey stones of the wall were slowly replaced by wooden rooftops, houses, signs and stalls. The people observed the caravan as it moved forward. Some children ran beside the horses, yelling and laughing. The peasants that recognized me gazing through my window waved goodbye, while others turned their head in the opposite direction disdainfully. Only if they knew that I was doing this to save them from war….but, would that make a difference? What was I doing if not my duty? The welfare of the majority was always a priority….but, was it really necessary to pay a price so high?
A knot formed in my throat. I didn't have the answers, and that scared me more than the questions. What if this was a mistake? What if there was a solution I was not grasping? I felt powerless, which was pretty ironic coming from a royal member. I was supposed to be more influential than those ones around me, but suddenly I felt like a leaf being carried away by a storm. I blinked and tried to casually hide my face from my maids as much as the cramped space allowed me. Lonely, silent tears ran down my cheeks. I clenched my teeth.
"My lady?" Emily called.
"Yes?" My voice came out surprisingly steady and strong.
Something was placed on my lap. I carefully lowered my gaze and contemplated a package enveloped in a napkin. With trembling hands, I unwrapped it to reveal a slice of lemon cake and two almonds bathed in chocolate.
"For your dizziness," my maid said. My heart warmed up and I nodded, placing one of the almonds in my mouth.
We stopped by midday near a lake. The servants set up a couple of stalls while the rest of the party explored the surroundings.
I descended the steps of my carriage and turned to the knight that had been guarding my personal party. "What's your name, my lord?"
The man bowed and replied with a voice full of respect, "Ser Arystar Krory, my lady."
"Not my lady." I sharply corrected. He lifted his eyes, dumbfounded, "Your Grace." I dryly said, "I'm a princess, you might as well refer to me as one."
He obediently nodded and continued talking, "The infant Rhode has required your presence for lunch. I'll guide you there."
I was about to refuse, a rebellious side of me coming afloat. However, sharing a few words with a girl might be convenient, and I was not going to be able to reject the family forever. It vexed me, nonetheless, that no one even asked me if I wanted to be with her. Arystar had communicated the proposal to me as a command.
We walked amongst workers, dogs and knights until we arrived to a stall set up under a tree. A long table, too long to be comfortable, was set, and a variety of dishes were being accommodated by the servants. The girl I had seen before, Rhode, was reclined on her seat, with both feet atop the table. She looked frisky and relaxed, but when she saw me, she jumped out of her seat and hugged me.
"I'm so happy you came!" she exclaimed enthusiastically and pulled my hand towards a seat. "What do you want, wine, rum, firewater?"
It perplexed me that she named alcoholic beverages, as if she had them at handy. Elegantly, I shook my head and sat up straight, "Plain water is alright."
Rhode blinked, apparently astounded, but in her eyes I could identify a blink of maliciousness amiss in someone her age, "You won't have alcohol?"
"A lady doesn't drink alcohol in broad daylight." I very formally declared. Truth be told, I never liked the burning sensation it left in my throat, neither the fact that it could blur my senses. Once I got slightly drunk with Allen, a long, long time ago… it hurt to think of him. I blinked to clear my vision and extended a hand to help myself with food.
"So…" Rhode, curious, leaned forward on her seat and fixated her eyes on me, "What does a lady do in this country?"
I stared at her and chose my words carefully. Albeit being young, she gave off a dangerous aura. "Sing," I averted my gaze, "Knit, ride horses, read, write, dance."
"You go to parties?"
Yeah, they go to parties, but not us, I wanted to tell her. Leverrier, being the social hermit he was, never organized big balls or let us attend the ones that other ladies casually dropped. From time to time, we appeared in the important events, where our presence was essential, but we never remained long neither talked to the unimportant folks. Any relation that didn't offer something of value was worthless.
"Seldom," I, therefore, replied.
"Then, why dance if you can't get tangled up with other princes?"
Her way of speaking, so blatant and raw, amazed me. "Aren't we supposed to talk about toys or games?"
Rhode frowned. She hadn't liked the change of subject, "Games bore me. Except bullfights." The way she looked at me, so mischievous and sadistic, gave me the goose-bumps. "I like it when they take off the ears. I have a collection. Do you want to see them when we arrive?"
"Not really." I automatically blurted out, then mentally kicked myself. "I'm not fond of bullfights."
"Why? Are they too barbaric for you?" she mocked me. I didn't like her questions, or her assumptions. It suddenly surprised me how much this little girl intimidated me, if I could even call her a girl at all. She seemed more like…a little monster, if I dared use the word.
"Yes." I honestly declared, "Aren't you too young to watch those kind of shows?"
"One is never too young to learn the truths of life and death. We are smarter than the bulls; thus, they die, we live."
I almost dropped my mouth open. However, I controlled myself and only gulped, drinking water casually.
"You don't think so?" she questioned after an uncomfortable silence.
"No. They are living creatures. It's inhuman to treat them like that." I should have kept my mouth shut. I expected some retaliation, or accusation. Whatever I had said could easily reach The Earl's or Tykki's ears, and they truthfully scared me. If they knew that I called their traditions inhuman…
"Funny," Rhode commented and gave me a smile, "You are made of the same stuff people who die first are made of. My uncle won't be pleased."
"Well, I warned him." I haughtily contested. As if pleasing Tykki Mikk was that important to me… Nonetheless, her declaration had made me suddenly dizzy. I put down the strawberry I had been chewing.
Rhode laughed heartily out, "You're funny." Her yellow eyes glinted with some sort of wicked, sick amusement, "It'll be fun having you around." Said this, she hopped out of her chair and snapped her fingers, "Clean this up! I'm tired. Goodbye, Catelyn."
I stood up and firmly corrected, with an authority I didn't actually feel, "Your Grace,"
Rhode turned around, taken aback by my tone, "Huh?"
The fact that I was a head taller than her helped me overcome the intimidation. I turned my mouth into a stern line and defied her with my gaze before saying, "We'll be family, but I'm still a king's daughter, so you remember that when you talk to me." Though I didn't want to admit it at first, hidden underneath the layers of unspoken fear, I was angry at her for her arrogant attitude. The fact that she believed she could summon me as she pleased and disdain my humanitarian principles offended me. She was a girl, I was a princess. If I didn't start putting my foot down, everybody would start treating me the way they pleased.
Rhode's face rapidly transformed into one of intense vexation. If it wasn't for her dark skin, she would have blushed out of anger. "You're coming to my castle to live."
"And?" I smiled at her the way she had done with me before, "Blood is blood regardless the place." I bowed politely, "Thank you for the invitation, my lady."
As I walked away, I heard her chuckle, recovering the good humor as promptly as she lost it, and her voice reached me, "You're funny, Your Grace." A shiver ran down my spine, but I decided to ignore it.
"You alright?" Emilia questioned when we climbed back into the carriage. We weren't moving yet, but I didn't feel like being outside.
I shrugged instead of responding. It was tiring to have to listen to that same question over and over again.
"We can bring you more food." Trianna offered. I subtly glared at her, but asked, "What are you doing here, Trianna?"
"What do you mean, Your Grace?"
"Why did they assign you to my service?"
Trianna's gaze averted from mine for a second, but then she answered, "I was the only one who could speak English amongst the other maids."
I nodded. It was sensible, but there was something icky about her presence. Yet, I decided to take the best out of her. After half a day rummaging, I had come to terms with my destiny, and tried to deal with it the best I could. If the Portuguese wanted to play games with me, I wanted to play back too.
"Teach me Portuguese." I commanded Trianna.
The woman blinked owlishly, but her shoulders relaxed, "Of course, Your Grace."
"Now." I sent Lala for ink and paper, "I don't know how you're going to do it, but, for your own good, I better arrive to Portugal knowing the basics."
It took us more than one week to reach the coast. Not used as I was to travel long distances, the journey resulted unbearable to my short patience. Each day that went by I spent it speaking a raw, flawed and clumsy Portuguese with Trianna and choosing which ones in the royal party looked trustworthy and who didn't. The list was still reduced to Emily and Lala.
Portuguese wasn't as easy as I expected it to be. The syllables were strange in my mouth and, even though it was pretty similar to French, the verb conjunctions and pronunciation escaped my tongue. Besides, Trianna wasn't as helpful as I expected. She didn't like me, and I didn't trust her. Our relationship was some mixture of forced courtesy and bitten tongues. More on her side than mine, truth be told, but that didn't make it any easier to me. I had to calculate each word I said inside the carriage while she was there, and that was somehow mentally tiresome.
How much I missed home.
When we arrived to the port and all the carriages and horses were aligned on the deck, I could finally grasp de immensity of our caravan; and the unnecessary exhibition of grandeur. Some saddles were rimmed with silver and gold, and the high courtesans wore golden rings, earrings and necklaces. The knights, all of them, wore impeccable uniforms and the handles of their swords were adorned with rubies. Just as I had observed before, the carriages were all new and solid, with silver accessories. The trunks were huge, heavy, with intricate Chinese drawings. The ships, too, were monumental. There were two waiting for us, one would carry all our belongings, while the other was destined only to the royal family and courtesans. Having a whole ship for us was an extravagancy that went beyond sensitivity.
A hand surrounded my waist and pulled me gently to a man's side. I only needed to smell him to know it was Tykki. The closeness made me nauseous, and I tried to squirm elegantly away.
"Impressive, isn't it?" he said. I had not seen him since the inn we stepped by three nights ago, when we ate all together.
"Look at those cells on the side of the ships," he pointed towards a line of squares a few meters underneath the deck's border, "Those are our cannons. They have just installed them. Thirty per-ship. Quite a float, isn't it?"
"Do you always need to boast about your belongings?" I questioned in a bored tone.
Tykki chuckled, "Oh, no, this isn't mine. This is Rhode's."
The answer unsettled me, "Why would a girl need a warship?"
"To take part in the bets," he simply contested, "How many ships she takes down in a combat. We've returned the score to zero to give her a chance."
I couldn't believe it. He made it sound so natural, so normal…as if we were talking about a ball or a song. I recalled Allen's tale, just as I had been doing the past nine days. To these people, war, death, even torture, represented a mere entertainment. They educated their children to be this way. They….they were the kind of persons that would kill and laugh if the show was spectacular enough.
My body trembled, and I hoped he didn't notice.
But he did.
"You cold, my love?"
"Don't call me love." The name sickened me.
His position shifted and, suddenly, I could feel his wet breath on my ear, "Yet, you are." He sniffed my hair and surrounded me with his arms. I shivered but kept my feet on the ground.
"I'm not your love if you forced me to come," I valiantly retaliated, "This is called kidnapping."
"It's called business," he corrected in a tone that was supposed to be tender. I felt his lips being pressed against my earlobe and I resisted the urge of snapping him away. "You're my little business dove."
"Stay away from me." I commanded.
"Oh, yeah, you're a lady." He stepped back and grabbed me by the shoulders. I stood his gaze, standing as tall as I was.
"Yes, I am, and you better stay away from me."
"Of course," his smile gave me the chills. His hands pressed my shoulders with more strength than necessary, as if trying to pin me down on my place. He stepped closer and leaned his forehead on mine. "I can't wait for our wedding night." He licked his lower lip and then walked away, laughing.
I stood there, shaking, looking to the same spot where he had been. I wanted to cry, but no tears came out. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my temples. I retched and then discreetly swallowed the sour liquid.
"Your Grace?" Emily called. I needed a whole minute to react.
"Yes?" for the first time, my voice was thin and weak.
"The luggage is ready. We're waiting for-"
"Can we run?" I whispered out of nowhere. I lifted my eyes to her.
Emily seemed scared, "E-excuse me?" she darted nervous glances around, making sure no one was near enough to hear us.
"Nothing." I said immediately after, recovering conscience of the Portuguese multitude that surrounded us. I gulped and lifted my chin, "Let's go."
A/N: Been a long while, but it is here! Reviews?