**So, by request, I am writing 'doin your mom' by Fatty Spins(what a tasteful name eh?). This song however does not reflect on any of my personal views, I accept all requests unless I'm too busy or they are more obscene than I can handle, I can handle some pretty obscene shit…anyway, 'doin your mom' from Sweeney to Toby**
Toby(sitting in the living room admiring a picture of Lovett when Sweeney walks in): Hi Mr. Todd! How may I help you?
Doin your mom, doin doin your mom!
Excuse me?
Doin your mom, doin doin your mom!
Well yes I heard you Mr. T but I am shocked that you'd bring such a thing up in front of me!
Doin doin your mom, doin doin your mom!
Where do you get the gall to mock me about this?
You know we straight with doin your mom!
You're an awful person!
Doin your mom, doin doin your mom!
Shut up Todd! I love Mrs. Lovett!
Doin your mom, doin doin your mom!
I will kill you, no, I'll kill Lucy!
Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom!
Did you not just hear that? God your deaf…
You know we straight with doin your mom!
We? Who is this we? Are you trying to tell me that Mrs. Lovett is a whore?
I'm doin your mom, yes yours!
Either way, she's not cheap…
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers.
The woman has good taste in clothing, what can I say?
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80's prom queen.
Do. Not. Mock mum's hair!
But her ass was looking good all up in those mom jeans.
My mum doesn't wear jeans! She wears dresses that hug her body so perfectly…*drool*
I approached her in the checkout line, and said 'yo baby wassup?'
You sound better with a British accent Sweeney, don't give me this ghetto shit.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
I would be offended, but they are sort of 'out there' Mrs. Lovett's boobies are hard not to notice…
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me,
Technically Mr. Todd, it's been about fifteen years.
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity
One: that's horrid and disgusting Two: what the hell is a minivan?
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
Mario kart? What are you talking about?
I gave her a lift back to her crib 'cause her car wouldn't start.
Why couldn't she just walk? Isn't that what she usually does?
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Again? How many times has this happened?
How many times I tap that ass? Over 9000!
You're gross.
Yeah. She called me Pledge 'cause I knocked the dust off it.
That's horrible. Why is it ok for you to say these things? I feel like Karma should be kicking your ass right now.
She later made me a sandwich and cut the crust off it.
No Mr. Todd, she made you a sandwich later, and cut the crust off of it.
'Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young.
Young? What are you fifty something? You haven't got many years left, have at it,
To be in bed, butt- naked doin' your mom (ish, I feel like I just got aids…)
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Again with this? What is your problem?
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Why do you hate me? I haven't done anything to you.
doin your mom doin doin your mom
I understand that, thank you
you know we straight with doin your mom
I know, why with the rubbing in the face?
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
And yes, I wish it was me. There everyone, I said it!
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Still nothing? It's like talking to a cinder block
doin your mom doin doin your mom
A damn lucky cinder block
You know we straight with doin your mom
Yeah, I caught that.
I like your mamas big butt, and I cannot lie.
Her butt is not big!
You other brothers can't deny that she's fly.
What?
We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that.
Not every night! Really?
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black.
Oh aren't you a clever bastard? Took me awhile to get that one…
But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F.
Haha, no. Besides, she's not any older than you
she loves to toss the salad even though she aint a chef
That's what makes this weird as fuck…
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol
How much were you two drinking? Must've been a god awful amount…
But If I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
I don't like to think about what that suggests…
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez.
Are those…sex positions? Eww you're gross…
Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed.
Oh god…
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest
My brain is going to shrivel and come out my nose any minute
likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
Who?
She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness
That's why your so calm all the time, not.
I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess.
Dumb luck, that's all you've got on me.
I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song
Oh ho, really? I really feel that empathy coming from you…
Cause I'm in your house every night doin your mo-om
You're stupid and ugly. Go die and rot in hell.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
I know
doin your mom doin doin your mom
You've made your point
doin your mom doin doin your mom
I understand
you know we straight with doin your mom
Thank you
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
Yes, I realize that
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
I refuse to be affected, you're just an idiot with nothing interesting to say
doin your mom doin doin your mom
So you repeat the same tired old insult over and over, hoping I'll react every time.
know we straight with doin your mom
You lose, go cry to Lovett.
I'm havin sex with your mother
You're not funny.
makes me beter than you.
The holocaust is better entertainment than you.
I'm havin sex with your mother
No one's laughing, say it again, it's not funny
makes me better than you
No it doesn't, it makes you a pathetic mother f*cker…lliterally.