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CHAPTER FOUR:
How to Shed Your Skin
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Forgive the delay! I got stuck. Next one should be up soon and it should be the end, if I don't get sidetracked.
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ANNIE
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I lingered on the stairs, listening to them in the kitchen from time to time. George and Mitchell. Mitchell and Lee. George and Lee while Mitchell dressed. George and Nina. They were the most confusing of all. They whispered as though they knew I was there, as though they cared what I overheard. It was just silly mumblings from my end.
"…need somewhere safe… Stay with me! I'll keep you—It's dangerous in the woods… You don't know how to handle it yet!" they cried.
I just figured Nina was worried about where George was changing every month. I didn't get why. He liked the little room under the hospital just fine. Of course, I got out of there as soon as they started shouting and hissing. They did that often now. And, afterwards, George would retreat to his little craft corner in the living room and glue paper on… well, paper. Lee got him into origami but he'd just end up cutting and gluing the pieces together instead of folding. I wish I could help but I was good at neither.
I wasn't good to anybody. I was just there for haunting. And even that, I was pathetic at. So I hid up in my room, curled up in my big sofa. When it got to be stuffy and my thoughts turned murderous, I wandered the house, humming to myself Beatles songs because that was all Mitchell played these days. Loudly. He thought the music could hide his groans. Maybe from George but not from me. They echoed in the walls and the walls were mine, extensions of my self.
Nobody bothered checking in on me to see how I was doing. I was a ghost. It's not like I'd die. As soon as they stabilized their own chaotic lives, I knew they'd check in. They must have figured I wanted to be left alone which, to some degree, was true.
When Mitchell couldn't sleep, he grunted to me he was going out which, I knew, meant he was going to Lee's. Sometimes he brought her over to the house but mostly, they just sat and talked in the kitchen. He never once took her to his room, which I found strange. Maybe he knew what I felt for him. Maybe he was just being considerate to his flat mates. George certainly wasn't shy about bringing Nina over once upon a time and he was the most considerate of us all. Doors locked, after all.
That's when I began to consider that Lee wasn't his girlfriend. I mean, their talks were usually pretty casual, in no way flirtatious. They laughed a lot, I gave them that, but there was always this invisible barrier between them. They barely touched, not in any way that screamed LOVERS to me. And Mitchell was nothing if not affectionate so for them not to touch was odd to say the least.
My mind was filled with all sorts of hopes and doubts. He was making himself some coffee in the kitchen when I cautiously walked in. It was the most I'd attempted to talk to him in weeks. He stood before the sink, looking sluggish as he stirred and stared off at nothing.
I called his name softly and he jerked, spilling his coffee into the sink. He cursed and turned away from me. I realized quickly that it was to hide his blackened eyes. "What were you thinking about?" I asked though I knew it was obvious. Blood, blood, and more blood.
"Just remembering old times," he answered sadly, still unable to look me in the eyes.
I put my hand on his arm and turned him towards me. His eyes were normal but his sadness was written all over his face. I gasped and whispered, "God, Mitchell… why are you doing this?"
He scoffed and straightened up. "Don't ask questions to which you already know the answer, Annie."
But that was ridiculous! I didn't know any answer. I barely knew the question!
I smacked him in the arm and stormed towards the stairs but he caught my arm. He pushed me up against the wall and pressed his body against mine. He was on fire and, I imagined, so was I. I could always feel him. Only him.
"Is this what you want, Annie?" he hissed into my ear. "To be just like all those other girls? To be used and reused like an old rag?"
"Why don't you use Lee then?" I shouted back and he took a step away from me, his hands still on my shoulders. He lowered his head and left out a deep breath.
"Is that what this is about? Lee is just a friend. She keeps me steady."
"And what am I? A painting on the wall? I could help you, dammit!"
He laughed dryly and leaned back in, his lips hovering over mine as though he were about to kiss me. I felt drawn to him but knew he would pull back before he ever did anything. I waited for a minute or two but he just lingered there. His nose pressed against my cheek and I shivered. One must applaud a man who could make a ghost shiver. I let out a whimper and only then did we part.
I realized my hands were clawing into the wall, keeping myself steady so I didn't blink away. "I'm sorry, Annie," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
He went to retreat to his room, his eyes to the ground, when I took hold of his arm and pulled him to me. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him, so tightly it hurt. George walked in and shot us a look.
"I can't leave you two alone for a second, can I?" he joked, cheerier than usual given it was a full moon. I didn't find it funny at all. Mitchell refused to touch me after that point.
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GEORGE
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I hadn't talked to Nina in days. She had no choice but to face me tonight. The full moon was upon us and she'd be changing. I remembered my first time, how horrible it was to be drawn to the darkness as my insides tore themselves apart. She'd only left me notes, letting me know that she could feel her senses were awakening.
Now, it was just me and her in the little room under the hospital. I wondered what would happen if two werewolves were locked in together. Would we kill each other or see the other as a mate?
I hadn't asked Mitchell. I hadn't even told him about Nina. She didn't want them to know and I respected her wishes, no matter how much I trusted Mitchell and Annie. She hadn't told anyone at the hospital about me. It was the least I could do. If it were up to me, I'd set up a harem in the basement just for her and feed her grapes. I'd do anything for her, but all she asked was company. Nina was a realist. She understood she had no choice. She was the strong one.
And she was crying.
"I can feel it coming," she whispered, the tears streaming down her face. She just stared at me as they flowed.
We were both fully clothed, facing each other like two cowboys at a showdown. The first crunch of our spine started and we both shouted. Her scream broke my heart and I ran to her side, to hold her steady, but I was in no shape to even try. She pushed me away and I understood. She wanted to do it herself. She'd always been alone. Why should now be any different?
"Don't fight it," I told her lovingly, going back to my spot on the other side of the room.
She didn't say anything, just continued to stare through me at the wall, the tears continuing to flow freely. I sighed, knowing there wasn't a word that could penetrate her tough exterior, and began to strip. I pulled my shirt up over my head and began to undo my pants as if nothing.
"What are you—" she began but stopped herself. She realized that, to change more effectively, we'd have to shed all our skins.
She mirrored my resigned sigh and began to unbutton her blouse. She threw everything into the same corner as me. First her bra, then her skirt and her underwear, and then we were naked. I looked her over, at the scars I had left, and the promises I'd make. I'd once told her nobody would ever hurt her. In a few seconds, she'd scream again and I'd be responsible and I knew my heart would break again, stopping twofold.
"Nina…" I began, interrupted by our screams. We seemed in sync. She stumbled forward, towards me. My arms wrapped around her to keep her upright. Her whole weight collapsed onto me but my muscles were so tense that I didn't even feel it. I held her to my chest and tried to stroke her hair as long as I could.
"I feel like I'm dying," she croaked between screams.
I nodded. I hated that it had to be her but I was glad to have someone else to share the experience with. It wasn't so terrifying anymore, certainly not as painful. "I know. It'll end soon. It'll be like falling asleep and you won't remember anything in the morning. And I'll be right here when you wake. I promise."
She chuckled, pulling us down onto our knees. Our arms were still wrapped around each other but I could feel her claws digging into my skin, her warmth turning into sweat where her skin met mine.
"If I don't… make this… I just want… want you to know…" she grunted. She stopped completely as her nose and mouth began to turn into a muzzle. She managed one final gasp of human breath, just enough to say, "I… love… you!"
And so, the wolf took me over.
We woke up the next morning covered in filth and bruises. Parts of me ached that I didn't know could ache and yet, strangely enough, I felt extremely satisfied. Because Nina was in my arms. Because Nina was cuddled up into my side. Because Nina was smiling and warm and, for just a moment, still loved me like I was the last man on this earth. Maybe I was to her.
I tried to stand and she stirred but didn't wake. "Nina," I called, shaking her gently. "It's over, sweetheart. Come on. Mitchell will be here to let us out in a few."
She chuckled and stretched. I saw the new scars then, the claw marks down her thigh. "I'm sure he'll just love seeing me here."
"I believe the words 'freak the fuck out' come to mind."
I picked up our bag of clothes from the corner and started to dress. Her smiled began to wither as she watched me. "It's really done?" she asked softly. I saw fear in her eyes for the first time.
I nodded. "Yea. For 28 days, we're done." She gave a soft nod and I was left… curious.
Mitchell walked in and, after a quick, exasperated explanation, he agreed to relax and keep it from Annie. We'd tell her eventually, when Nina was ready. She'd never "come out" to anyone before and Annie was a safe choice. It's not like she was going to run away screaming. She was pretty much confined to the house.
As soon as we got to the hospital, it was the same again. She ignored me, made stupid comments and shouted… it was as though we'd never hooked up at all. It was as though we never were. And I was left back in my little craft corner, discovering the great art of wire bending and jewelry making.
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MITCHELL
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Time is a funny, fickle thing when you live forever. Some moments pass by at the speed of light because you're too busy thinking about the inevitable future to notice the present. Others dwindle on by because you wait for something marvelous to happen, only to realize it never will. Not even in forever.
Annie was the epitome of the former. Lee and I were the sad, pathetic latter.
I wanted to fall in love with Lee. I needed to because she was a good thing, a reasonable thing. I visited her almost every day and, after a few weeks of consistent painting, she finished mourning and visited us as well. In a perfect world, I would live with her as long as I was able and feed from her as safely as she had taught me, but I did not love her. She kept me strong with her words alone. And she kept me sane by never once judging me for hiding away my feelings for Annie.
Lee knew she and I were supposed to fall in love and live happily ever after. She knew it was right but she never asked it of me, knowing all too well that my heart belonged with someone else. But now it'd been weeks and I was dying. Everyone saw it but nobody said anything. I'd stopped going to work last week because I could barely get out of bed anymore. Instead, I came to her. It was natural to come to her, effortless.
"You can't keep doing this, Mitchell," she scolded me over coffee as she used the back end of one of her paintbrushes to mix the sugar.
Nobody asked why I was always splattered with paint anymore. She'd managed to get it on every surface of her house so if I so much as leaned against a wall, I would be sporting a new shade all day. It was oil paint so of course, water and soap weren't very effective and I rarely bothered to remove it. It was a nice reminder of her, like she was always with me, keeping me strong.
I leaned over onto the coffee table and ended up covering my sleeve with a vibrant red. I nearly licked it off my shirt, believing it to be blood. I was seeing it everywhere. Lee saw my darkened eyes and reached over to grab my arm in her iron clutches.
"Mitchell, you're going to die if you don't feed," she whispered lovingly, her eyes the most concerned I'd ever seen. She set down her precious coffee and came around the table to kneel by my leg.
I tried to focus on her brilliant blue eyes as best I could but my once perfect vision had started to fade and all I saw was grey. I tried to speak but my expression told her everything she needed to hear. In a flash, she had me on my feet, her arm around my waist to keep me steady. She walked me to my car on the curb and drove me home.
Annie opened the door, her eyes wide. "Oh God! What's happened to him now?" she screeched, coming to hold me on my other side. They helped me up the stairs to my room and everything sort of went fuzzy after that. My eyes were too heavy to keep open so I let my last glimpse be of Annie and I fell asleep with a smile.
Just as I had begun to dream, their arguing startled my mind awake. I stayed immobile and not by choice but I could hear every word. They were fighting at the foot of my bed.
"Damn it, Annie, you knew he was in pain!" Lee shouted. "Why didn't you do anything?"
"Don't you dare blame it on me," she replied softly. "I offered. He refused."
Lee laughed in that humorless way she had lost a few weeks back. It hurt me to see her regress over me. "Annie, did you ever think to offer not your neck but your heart? Why are you two so bloody afraid? Why can't you admit you care?"
There was silence for a moment. "I don't understand," said Annie. "What does one thing have to do with the other?"
"He won't feed off you because he thinks that'd make him like Owen. He tells me things, even if he never actually says them. It's all over his face, Annie. You offered the wrong thing."
"What would it do, Lee? If I told him I loved him, what would it matter? He'd still die. He'd still refuse."
The voices got slightly more distant as a cold tear ran down the side of my cheek. I wanted to stand, to tell Annie… something. Anything. I didn't know the words and I was still frozen. It was the cruelest of prisons, this body of mine.
I heard objects fly and crash around the room.
"It'd mean something to him! If he wants to die, he should die knowing you love him. He should die pure," Lee continued loudly over the ruckus. I thought the roof was going to fall on our heads. I heard it creak, felt the room heat up around me. Warmer and warmer until I thought I'd finally caught fire.
Time passed. I heard whispers and footsteps and worried shouting, probably from George. That's when I smelled it. The blood. It was coming towards me, fresh and alive, and my eyes shot open. I had expected to see Annie with her grand offering. I had expected curls and a worried smile and frantic ranting about the oddest thing but no. It was just Lee. It was just us in my room, her delicious blood gathering at the back of my throat.
I refused to swallow.
"Please," Lee whispered as she hovered over me, her arm over my lips. "Do it for Annie. You can't die without telling her how you feel."
So I did. I swallowed. For Annie, because this wasn't over yet.
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