Look After You 5
Chapter: 4/?
Rating : T
Pairing: P/T
Summary: Set after the episode "Faces." After their ordeal in the Vidiian mines, two very different people find they share a common ground.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything, apparently. The title comes from The Fray's song Look After You.
Author note: Thanks again to Pepper for the beta!
***
"This is over my head, but underneath my feet. 'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat and everything will be back to the way that it was. I wish that it was just that easy." – Lifehouse, Somewhere in Between
"VeQ ngIm! B'Elanna spat at the bio-neural gel packs.
"Well I take it your Klingon side has fully integrated back with you," came a voice from behind her.
B'Elanna turned around to find Tom Paris looking at her rather smugly, and she tried to restrain the urge from ripping his head off just for that.
"What do want Paris? I'm busy." Her voice was back to its usual gruff tone.
"So the bio-neural gel on your face tells me," he said. "I came to ask if you're free to join me and Harry tonight."
"Why, still sore about me beating you last night?" She couldn't suppress her smirk at that thought.
Tom rolled his eyes. "You didn't beat me, I recall, you just about won."
"That sounds like the talk of a sore loser."
"You know, I preferred it when you used to be a little bit nicer to me."
"When did that ever happen?"
Tom smiled. "So are you free tonight?"
"Not if I can't fix this stupid gel pack."
"What was it my uncle always used to say? If it doesn't fix, force it and if it breaks it needed replacing anyway. But then again he did run off with a gaseous, non-corporal entity, so his logic may not be sound."
B'Elanna blinked, and then again. "That wasn't very helpful, Tom."
"Well then, how can I be of use?"
"You can go to locker Gamma 5 in Engineering and get me a new gel pack," she intoned sweetly.
Tom wrinkled his nose at the prospect of walking to the other side of the ship. "Fine," he sighed dramatically. "But only if you promise to turn up tonight."
"Why, do you plan to disembowel me and chuck me out the nearest airlock?"
"I thought that was more your kind of thing. No, I have something to show the both of you. Be outside the holodeck at the seven, okay?"
B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "Fine."
Grinning, Tom walked off, and then suddenly turned around. "Oh and B'Elanna? I'm glad you're back to your usual, charming half-Klingon self," he said, thumbs held up.
She rolled her eyes again. "Get out of here, Paris," she growled.
"Yes ma'am."
***
"Well, if it isn't my second regular patient, looking…delightful," the Doctor said disdainfully, as she entered Sickbay, no doubt eyeing the mixture of warp core and gel over her entire form.
"Nice to see you too, Doctor," B'Elanna said dryly. She made a motion for one of the biobeds, but he stopped her.
"Lieutenant, I'd like it if you stay standing. I don't want you messing up my biobed. They don't clean themselves."
B'Elanna gave the doctor an incredulous look. Was he being serious? "Fine," she muttered, remaining standing.
He came at her with a tricorder. "Well B'Elanna, this should be your last check-up, you'll be happy to know."
"Delighted."
"You should be on the way back to your usual, charming half-Klingon self."
B'Elanna gave him another look. Had he and Tom been exchanging jokes together?
B'Elanna sighed as the doctor ran the tricorder over her.
"Your DNA is now 50% human and 50% Klingon. Your transcription and translation processes are all functioning well, and your metabolism has increased back to normal. Your body has fully recovered and appears to be displaying no side effects from having its DNA ripped apart and back again."
The Doctor almost seemed disappointed by this. "Kes is going to give you a verbal psychiatric evaluation," he went on.
"A what?"
"A psychiatric evaluation. Standard procedure after physical traumatic stress on the body."
She didn't know what the hell one of those was.
Kes took her into the office and motioned for her to sit down.
"Isn't the Doctor worried about me contaminating one of his chairs?" B'Elanna asked.
Kes smiled. "He'll get over it."
B'Elanna took a seat.
"I have to give a psychiatric evaluation to see how you are doing, lieutenant," Kes went on. "Usually it's the Doctor who should do it, but I thought with his…nature, maybe I should be the one to do so."
B'Elanna nodded, not caring either way. Having not had a great day, she wanted to be out of sickbay as soon as possible.
"So B'Elanna, the doctor has finished his treatment for you. How are you feeling?"
B'Elanna raised an eyebrow at Kes. Was someone who was only one-year old trying to counsel her?
"I'm okay, I guess," she answered coolly.
Kes nodded, looking down at her padd. "The doctor administered his treatment for you over several days, so it's probably taken quite a while for your Klingon side to fully incorporate with your human side. How did you feel about that?"
B'Elanna shrugged. "I don't know how I feel. The integration has been gradual, so the change within me has been too." Her eyes glazed. "But it was nice being human for a while."
Kes nodded again, understandingly. B'Elanna wasn't sure Kes could ever understand her predicament, but Kes was very empathetic, and there was something about her that made B'Elanna let go of her tendency to keep things in.
"It must have been strange not to worry about your Klingon side for a while."
B'Elanna said nothing for a while. "It was weird not having that part of me there. I was so used to battling with that part of me everyday, and without her everything seemed so quiet. It was kind of nice, actually. But part of me is glad to be back to normal again. I've been feeling like a ghost of my former self."
"Hopefully this incident has helped you forge a sense of harmony with your Klingon side. Now that you've seen her, maybe you're able to understand why she is like she is."
B'Elanna nodded. "Maybe."
"I really do hope you find peace with yourself, B'Elanna," Kes said sincerely. She looked down at her padd again. "How are you feeling about your away mission? I imagine it must have been very hard for you."
B'Elanna cast her eyes downwards and closed her eyes. Talking about her Klingon side was one thing. Talking about what happened seemed much harder.
She looked back up to Kes' big, expressive eyes. There was wisdom there, but innocence too.
How could Kes ever know what it was like?
There just weren't enough words.
***
She returned to her quarters afterwards, and sat on her couch, eyes glued firmly on the view port of the stars.
Somewhere out there was a planet with numerous caves and even more prisoners, slaving away for Vidiians, knowing their life was balanced precariously somewhere between near death and absolute death. Some would be there for barely an hour, others years; each minute would feel like an eternity.
Should Voyager have done more to save them? Or would that have been interfering with Starfleet's stupid protocols? What of that Talaxian who had probably saved hers and Tom's life by giving them water? After all he'd done for them, they'd left him behind.
Horror still filled her heart every time she thought about the place, and she thought about it constantly. Kes said that it would take time to heal. But she couldn't imagine a time when she wouldn't feel like this. But at least the nightmares had stopped. Talking to Tom had helped that much. Sometimes though, she couldn't help but feel she was still living a nightmare.
Her combadge beeped.
She pressed it. "Torres here."
"B'Elanna, it's Harry. Where are you?"
Her eyes widened. She'd completely forgotten about their "date!"
"I'm on my way," she lied.
She could practically hear Harry grinning at her lie. "You better hurry; Tom looks like he's going to have an aneurysm."
"He probably deserves it," she muttered. Stupid Paris and his stupid plans.