A/N: Sorry for my slow updates, I'm sort of in a moving process right now, and my whole life has to be boxed up and moved somewhere else. That and I've lost internet for a week because of the move. So I've been pretty busy. But, free time means writing time, so here goes-

CHAPTER 4

Kurt hadn't taken a single sip of the vodka. He'd been able to slip a sleeping pill into the mix to get Finn to sleep, careful not to let a single drop slip through when he pressed his lips to the bottle. Finn, on the other hand, was drinking it fast, and quickly coming in and out of consciousness as Kurt kissed his neck and chest. There was a point when Finn fell asleep, Kurt almost backed out. He almost pulled the bottle away and forgot the whole plan, looking at Finn like that. But he could still see the bruises on his arms, he could still feel the humiliation of being beaten in the locker room. All while Finn ran and hid.

No, Finn needed to know exactly what humiliation and fear was.

So when Finn finally faded out from the drugs, Kurt got the thin, white rope from his backpack and tied Finn's hands and feet, then pulled him as gently as he could down towards the water.

Then all he could do was sit and wait for the other boy to return from his forced sleep.

(O)(o)(O)

Finn sat in silence across from Dr. Alex, his brow furrowed. He glanced quickly around the room and then back towards the doctor, wringing his hands together in his lap. Neither spoke, both waiting for the other.

Finally, Dr. Alex cleared her throat, "Finn. I want you to tell me about what happened the other night."

He stared blankly, his mind racing to figure out what to say. A few seconds passed, and finally, he opened his mouth, "Kurt showed up." His mouth felt dry, his tongue like sandpaper scraping against his lips, "That's... all."

"Tell me what happened." She was writing quietly on her clip board, something that frustrated Finn greatly.

"I don't even... I don't even know. I passed out. I had another panic attack. And I woke up and he was gone."

Dr. Alex pushed her blonde hair behind her ear and nodded, "Why do you think you had a panic attack?"

"Because he fucking terrifies me," Finn admitted quietly. "He's small and I could beat the shit out of him, but he scares me so bad."

"What holds you back, then, Finn? From hurting him?"

"I don't know. I don't know..."

"Do you think maybe you care for him, still?"

Finn shrugged, "No. I don't know. He needs help. Like serious mental help."

At this, Dr. Alex frowned, "He's getting mental help. You know that, Finn."

"He left me a crazy voicemail saying he wasn't taking his medicine, and all this other stuff. Whatever help he's getting isn't really working." Finn stood up, glancing around the room nervously, "He was waiting for me to come home. He waited outside, and broke in as soon as I got home. He's fucking crazy."

The woman nodded slowly, "Is that what you really think of him, Finn?"

"Yes. He's not right. He's not right in the head or something."

"And if he was in his right mind, got all the help he needed, and was back to the way he used to be, do you think you would like him again?"

This caught Finn off guard, stopping him in his pacing back and forth across the room. Kurt used to be beautiful and normal and sweet. Kurt used to be perfect. "He's never going to be normal again."

"But if he was, Finn?"

"I don't know."

"Would you have been able to make your relationship public if he hadn't wronged you?"

"I-I don't know."

Dr. Alex nodded her head and wrote something quickly on her clipboard, "Were you afraid people would have treated you differently?"

"What kind of question is that?" He snapped irritably, "Of course I was! They beat the shit out of him on a daily basis! Do you think I wanted that?"

"Kurt didn't want that, either, Finn. But he was able to come to terms with who he was and be happy, despite how people treated him." She kept her gaze on him for a moment, and then finally sighed, "I don't mean to upset you, Finn. I'm simply trying to make you understand that you can be happy without hiding who you are."

"I'm not gay, okay?" He felt like a child going into a tantrum, only moments from stamping his feet, "Yeah, I fucked around with him. Yeah-I mean, we did a lot-but I don't look at guys. I don't even-I don't even think he counts as a guy! It's not like I want to check out other guys in the locker room, it was just-just... him. He was the only guy." He trailed off, unsure of what to say next, "I mean, and that was a pretty fucked up relationship. Right?"

Dr. Alex nodded, "It wasn't a healthy relationship, on either part. But that doesn't make it like it never happened."

"It wasn't anything. It wasn't like-like something serious. We're just kids, fucking around- I mean, that's what we do, right?" Finn's voice was cracking, he felt he could break down at any minute, "And it-it just got way out of control. I mean-no one warned me that he was crazy..."

"He's not 'crazy,' Finn." Dr. Alex sounded a little exasperated, "He has mental imbalances, as many people do. And he's getting help for his problems, as are you."

"Yeah? Yeah, well I never tried to drown him in the fucking lake! I may be messed up-but I never tried to kill him!"

The doctor nodded slowly, and glanced at the clock, "Well. Our time is up. But I want you to think about what you've told me today. And maybe try to ponder exactly why he did what he did."

"Yeah, whatever. He did it because he was fucking nuts," Finn snapped, then grabbed his bag and stormed out the door, not waiting for Dr. Alex to respond.

Out in the halls of the school, Finn felt vulnerable, and he tried to quickly get to where he was going, so he knew he could be safe, away from Kurt. It wasn't often that he saw him, though, which didn't calm his mind at all. Finn sometimes thought Kurt may be hiding where he couldn't see him, watching him still. When he got to his math class, Finn checked around the corners of the room and by the teacher's desk in the back before he sat down.

He sighed and laid his head on his desk, it was going to be a terribly long day...

(O)(o)(O)

Kurt skipped school the next day, he hadn't cared much about his grades for quite some time. So, instead of being in French class, Kurt was outside the mall, trying to decide exactly what he was going to do for the day. He didn't have enough money to go shopping, really, with his taste in fashion.

The school would probably call his father, but Burt was used to it by now. He hadn't given up on Kurt completely, but he was close enough to not care anymore when his son skipped school. Since Carole had left, he stayed in the shop, only coming home to bathe and sleep. When he did see Kurt, he just stared with concern and hurt, then quickly continued to avoid speaking with his son.

Kurt sighed, his breath crystallizing in the chilly air. He wrapped his gray coat closer around himself and wandered around to the side of the mall, somewhat surprised to see another person on the shady side of the building. He narrowed his eyes at the boy, "Azimio."

"Hey, faggot. Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Shouldn't you?" Kurt snapped back.

Azimio stepped closer to him, close enough for Kurt to smell the stench of garlic on his breath, "I do what I want, lady." He grabbed Kurt by the collar of his coat and shoved him into the wall, but Kurt only frowned.

"Do it. Beat the shit out of me, Azimio." He smirked slightly, "I dare you. I'll throw you in the fucking lake like I did Finn."

At this, Azimio backed off, his eyes wide, "You're fucked up, dude. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You're what's wrong with me. Get the hell out of here, Azimio. I'm sick of your shit." Kurt waved him off, uncaring of whether the other boy hit him or not.

"You're messed up. You need fucking help," he growled before slipping around the corner and out of Kurt's sight.

"Yeah... I do," he mumbled shortly as he continued to walk. He looked up at the sky and sighed, it was going to rain. Maybe snow, even, with how cold it was. It bothered him a little to talk about Finn the way he had, but it scared guys like Azimio, and that was all he needed. He hadn't thrown Finn in the lake, anyway. That was just what everyone thought. And why not use it to his advantage?

Shortly ahead of him, he saw a curly haired boy leaning against the wall, talking quietly on his cell phone. The boy was smoking a cigarette, and before flicking it to the ground, his dark eyes flicked up at Kurt, and a surprised look grew on his face. The boy slid his phone into his pocket and smirked, "Don't see many people coming down this dark alley during school hours."

"Could say the same to you." Kurt was cautious, though the boy looked shorter than him, Kurt wasn't much of a fighter, and didn't want to start anything he couldn't handle.

The boy just shrugged, "Cigarette?"

"Don't smoke," Kurt mumbled quietly, "You don't look like a kid who would be hanging out in some dark alley." It was the truth, really, they boy had nicely styled curly hair, and was wearing a private school blazer. To Kurt, he looked like a spoiled little rich kid, oddly out of place in the alley by the mall.

He simply smiled and lit another cigarette, "There's a lot I don't look like that I am."

Kurt would almost swear the boy had winked at him, "Like what, then?"

Again, he raised his shoulders indifferently, "Could be anything." He kicked his foot off the wall to stand straight up, face to face with Kurt, "Care to find out?"

Kurt frowned, he knew what the boy was getting at, "How do you know I would be interested in whatever you're interested in?"

He laughed shortly and looked Kurt up and down, eyeballing the tall boots and checkered scarf Kurt was wearing, "I think I can be pretty sure you're into what I'm into." He pushed Kurt gently against the wall, his hands on Kurt's hips, his face barely inches away, "How about it?"

Kurt stared into the dark eyes for a moment, it had been quite awhile. And the boy was cute. He didn't particularly want to push him away, "Alright. Sure..."

When the boy pressed his lips against Kurt's, Kurt just closed his eyes and tried to ignore the acrid taste of smoke. If he kept his eyes closed, he could pretend it was Finn again. When the boy unbuckled his belt, Kurt just wished harder, I don't even want to know your name, if I think hard enough, I can make you just like Finn...

(O)(o)(O)

A/N: Bahahaha. You know who the boy was, right? I haven't decided if I want him in here, or just here as a one time thing. I sort of love him as a bad influence though. I'd let that boy influence me anytime... XD

Sorry about the slow update, by the way. I have to post from work, where there's free wifi, because my internet is on hiatus until next Monday or so. So I have to drag my laptop all the way to work and blah blah blah. You know.

Anyway, tell me if you want that curly haired, private school boy in the story a little more.