The Dentist Appointment I Never Wanted

I awoke with a groan and for once I wasn't feeling nauseous, I just felt headachy and wished sorely for my bed. Instead I was strapped to a chair that was uncannily like a dentist's alongside with a tray filled with different devices and with a slight hitch in my breathing I saw some pliers and a gleaming knife.

I wriggled a little just to make sure that I was tied down properly, before the door opened with a clang!

I froze. I tried to read the person's face but with a black mask it was hard to see their face. Fear chipped my joints until they were so stiff from tension, my skin was alive with goose bumps as my adrenaline throbbed through every cell of my body.

"You are interesting my child," the voice was distinctly low so I could tell it was a man's.

I squirmed at the tone. "Really? I don't think so," I flexed my fingers, my voice getting higher with hysteria. "I am quite boring really. Really, I am a very boring, a very lame person."

"No matter," the man continued, trailing a chilling finger down the flesh of my earlobe. I shivered, gritting my teeth against the whimper. "I can be interested enough for the both of us my dear."

"You imagine my surprise when I hear of a girl, a girl who fell from the sky in a ball of light, made a crater as wide as the Hokage tower is tall." The man prowled around my chair, a hunter with his prey in his sights. "A girl with hair as blue as copper sulphide and a skin that glows in the dark. A girl who was able to maintain chakra constantly on the surface of her skin.

"Well, I said to myself, she would be an interesting addition to the collection of my old master," his finger now pressed itself over my collarbone and was going closer to my heaving chest. I bite my lip to try and keep my sob in. "See my old master loved interesting abilities, he had a woman who was able to control snakes at one point too.

"But I was rewarded greatly when I found that you were just at my finger tips and barely anyone to guard you from my hands. Truly, thank you." He smiled as his finger hooked on the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it slowly down. He breathed heavily. "I cannot believe a ninja would have such flawless soft skin, probably explains why we caught you so easily," he muttered the last under his breath.

I tried to see if some bravado would make some head way, at least until Kakashi came and found me. Well, I hoped.

"Just going to save you the effort now," I flinched hearing my voice waver, "I don't know how to control this-this thing! I don't know how it works, I don't know why I am here."

There was a pause, the hunter was behind the startled deer, his finger abandoning its hold on my t-shirt. I breathed easier.

"Oh, well that's a shame," the man purred, I felt a trickle of sweat going down the small of my back in fear, "But we can always do some tests and see what happens."

My breathing quickened and I could feel the blood in my ears thrumming in a desperation for me to get out of there. Without a warning, the man swiped the knife from the neighbouring table and sliced it across my left arm. I screamed in surprise and pain. With a slight glance down to check where it was, what I noticed made my body still even though the agony kept killing my sensory neurones.

The cut was exactly where one of my old ones from the car accident was. I shuddered as I knew I had more than ten on just that arm alone.

I sobbed, my chest clenching as it knew that it would get stabbed eventually. Great I was fucking insane but not insane enough to predict that he was going to follow the same along the arm alone. One part of my conscious kept trying to convince the less sane that maybe it was just a random cut that looked exactly like the ones before.

I struggled anew, knowing that I would have more cuts. The pain was slowly ebbing and I watched in awe along with my captor as we watched my skin knit together again slowly but surely until it looked like it never happened apart from the red-purple scar.

"Facinating," the man breathed, leaning in close until his lips almost brushed my tingling skin.

"Next one?" the sadist brought up the bloody knife again and tapped it against where his lips would be if the mask didn't hide his face. "What about something a little bit more internal?"

I shook my head frantically, "No please!"

Raising the knife above his head, some of my blood dripping in slow motion onto the floor with a slight spat, his eyes glittered dangerously.

Everything was happening too slowly. It was like my ears were muffled; I couldn't hear anything. My eyes couldn't seem to comprehend what he was doing until the knife pierced my chest with a thunk and splurt as my blood came pouring out.

I choked unable to breathe as one of my lungs filled up with blood, slowly drowning me. I coughed and some blood dripped out of the corner of my mouth. The captor, the sick, messed up man raised the base of his mask so his lips were exposed. They looked so normal, so like any man's that you wouldn't have thought that he was so twisted. The mouth came closer and closer until his lips stroked my cheek, a poor imitation of a lover's caress.

I strained away but I felt myself becoming weak as, miraculously, I felt my skin healing together, my lungs expelling the blood by forcing me to vomit. The metallic taste of my blood surrounded the entire cavern of my mouth.

I grimaced before catching the gleam in the plain grey eyes before he leaned in and licked the trail of blood from the corner of my mouth, slowly sucking my skin.

"Please," I weakly leaned away, disgusted. It was like every healing took energy from me. "Please, stop."

The man pulled away to give me a bare grin with his lips, his teeth actually white and straight.

"Oh, but I am just beginning," he hummed, sliding the knife hard against my opposite wrist, a hot knife through butter. He clamped a hand over my mouth containing my screams. "Shhh, I want your voice still perfect when we escalate the tests later."

Maybe I was insane but maybe I was also psychic. A lone tear leaked out of the corner of my eye as I had to relive the pain of the car accident all over again except drawn out and without a death at the end. Well at this point, I wished for it.

…o0o…

Kakashi slammed the weasel man against the caravan, Naruto snarling softly next to him. The weasel man scrabbled at his throat trying futilely to claw away the Kakashi's unbreakable grip.

"Where is he?" Kakashi asked lowly, outwardly looking like he was calm, bored at a stretch but to Naruto he saw the way that Kakashi's shoulders tensed and it wasn't from holding the thin man a metre off the ground.

"Who? I don't know what you are talking about," the man wheezed, his face purpling.

Kakashi lowered him to relieve the man's airways before slamming him hard into the ground.

The weasel gave a cry of pain.

"Where is Jenny?" Naruto asked from his side.

"Who's Jenny?" Hysterical, he gave another panicky cry as Kakashi unconsciously tightened his hold on his throat. "All we had to do was distract you long enough so he could grab the blue haired girl!"

"He?" Kakashi caught onto the slip, "Who's he?"

"The man with no name, the man with no face, no one knows who he is!"

Kakashi paused, leaning back slightly to give the man some air while he thought. So Jenny wasn't a spy, she was a victim in this and also it looked like Orochimaru's work. But Kakashi wasn't surprised; it wouldn't be the first time someone would appear dead and then turn out alive.

Shaking his head he turned to the petrified man below him, the one that lost his glasses a long time ago.

"Why did you have to distract us?"

"To get-" the weasel began.

"Yes, so he could kidnap the blue haired girl, but I mean," Kakashi applied pressure to the airways again, "are you accomplices? Employees? Is he blackmailing you? Bribing?" Kakashi was losing patience.

"Blackmail," this was not said by the man below him but by a woman who had stood by and watched as this man below him had been manhandled. "Our village is constantly under threat from him, sending in new terrors. We offer our livestock so that he leaves the village alone for two maybe three months at a stretch. This is the first time he has he has demanded for something other than animals."

"Where does he live?" Kakashi asked.

She hesitated. "We think it's Blackwell Mountains."

"Why there?" Naruto blurted out next to Kakashi.

The woman turned to the Kyuubi vessel, a slight look of contempt on her face.

"There are howls, cries for the past year," the man underneath wheezed, "Right after when demands for livestock were demanded."

Kakashi pushed himself to his feet scanning the treeline hoping Sakura would come back soon, and (he would deny this if ever questioned) Sasuke especially.

"How many miles?" Kakashi turned to the woman, allowing the man underneath him start to pick up the pieces of his ego which had been so rudely broken by his pushing.

"It's about two day walk without the wagons," she replied.

Kakashi pulled the map out of his pocket trying to locate the mountains, the woman leaned over his shoulder and pointed with a dainty, clean fingernail. He paused. Famers and civilians didn't have clean nails, most had chipped and sometimes broken. Whipping out his kunai, he already found one held at his throat.

They were surrounded. He could sense who were the civilians and who were the ninja, the civilians huddled towards the carts and the ninja, huddled towards Naruto and Kakashi, crowding them.

"You might as well give up," the woman sneered into his face. "It's ten to one odds."

Kakashi acquiesced by dropping his kunai with a thud. The woman gave him a smirk and the relaxing of the elbow on her part, thinking the threat was stabilised. She was wrong. The lowering of her guard allowed Kakashi to slam his left palm into the weak joint of her elbow while the other smacked the forearm causing it to break in a sickening snick.

She gave a howl of pain and tried a punch with her working arm, which Kakashi casually side stepped, ducking instinctively as he heard the betraying whistle of a kunai being thrown, which buried itself in the wooden cart behind him.

Using his momentum, he slid a leg out to send a crippling kick to the woman's knee sending her to her hand before he raised his knuckles to crash into her temple, knocking her out. Kakashi barely had time to recover before he stomached a kick which, much to the surprise of the owner of the leg, he grabbed the ankle and dragged the enemy nin forward into the one eyed man's awaiting fist.

Loading chakra into his hand, he pivoted and swung the limp body into five charging ninja. Knocking them all down save one, who leaped to run alongside a nearby caravan, sebon clutched in his fists, almost resembling spikey claws.

With a wide arc, the ninja brought one metal laden fist, causing Kakashi to spring into the air to avoid being turned into a pin cushion. The enemy ninja, landed where Kakashi was previously and looked up in time to see Kakashi's booted foot slam into his nose, breaking it.

Using the enemy nin's face as a launching pad, Kakashi leaped into the fray where his ex-student was attacking remarkably well. Sliding a knife between the ribs of one more ninja, propelling himself to the next enemy, barely bending backwards in time as a kunai darted in front of his face, where his face was beforehand.

Sending a cheeky wink to the ninja who just threw the piece of metal, the last thing he saw was a red eye swirling and he fell to the ground sleeping. The fight, taking no more than a few minutes, both him and Naruto were surrounded with either groaning or bleeding bodies.

"We need to find Sakura and the teme," Naruto said, barely out of breath.

Kakashi nodded, retrieved his pack and Sakura's and Naruto hauled Sasuke's in addition to his own on his back. They were about to run into the forest when one of the cowering civilians rushed up to him. He could still feel the rage at the mention of their names but they had to go with him. They didn't know what they were heading for and unfortunately they were some of the best.

His mind tried to recreate the scene he caught them in before he shook his head violently. Not until Jenny was safe.

"Wait!" they called, "How are we going to get to the next village without our escort?"

Kakashi rolled an eye down at the man.

"You aided in the kidnap of one of Konoha's citizens, at this point in time you aren't the priority. I can safely assume that they won't come looking for you in more than a day and a half. We'll be back by then."

Just then Naruto and Kakashi heard a rustle in the bushes and immediately crouched in a defensive stance. Then out of the woods leaped Sakura and Sasuke, both had blood splattered on their clothing, their eyes taking in the scene before them.

"We need to go to the Blackwell Mountains. Now." Kakashi said, his voice bearing no inflection of them coming out of the trees together, chests heaving.

Much alike another scene. Without a word more, he turned and began in the direction of the mountains, to the cynical blue haired girl.

…o0o…

So I am in black… but where am I?

There was that beeping still and it was consistent, steady ever being like a boxer's glove against a bag, like the wind whistling its winding way through the trees… like a heartbeat. The sobbing was gone which was a relief. Always hated crying. It was awkward and emotional. A piece of the soul which could only be expressed through emotions.

Whoa, when did I get so poetic? Must be because I had way too much free time on my hands. There was also a steady whirring noise, something that was always too faint to catch, even when I touched Kakashi.

That was another clue: whenever I touched Kakashi sometimes, I was sent here. I tried to frown but it was like I didn't know how to make that expression any longer. It wasn't actually all the time that I fell here, but all of the times, I am sent here whenever I was touching him. My body felt like it was here even if my vision and hearing was with him.

Oh well, as long I wasn't back in the torture chamber.

I could feel my body wishing to tremble but couldn't. I sighed internally. This was going to grow old pretty soon. I wonder if Kakashi would even come. He owed me nothing, in fact all the owing was on my side for him.

Still, I hope he does.

…o0o…

Kakashi was covered in the blood of most of the guards, some pent up frustration meant that he could freely take it out on these people without yelling to the high heavens how angry and hurt he was with Sakura.

"Kakashi, I think we need to talk," Sakura panted beside him, as they were running down the hallway.

Sasuke and Naruto were exploring the other wing while he and Sakura were searching this one.

Movement caught the corner of his eye and using the wall he propelled himself until his boot neatly clipped the man's temple followed by another crash from his fist to ensure his unconsciousness.

Kakashi landed, never breaking a stride and never looking at the pink haired woman. "I don't think this is exactly the best moment to talk," he said, slipping some sebon down his sleeves to be snatched in between his knuckles readily.

"Kakashi!" Sakura cried horrified and lost her composure, lost her alertness and it was only because Kakashi slid under Sakura's slender arm and pushed up to puncture the ninja's lungs did Kakashi swivel.

"This is not the time, Sakura!" Kakashi hissed, his black eye flashing. "We have an innocent girl probably dying at some sick bastard's hand or some kind of copycat and you want to discuss your love life?"

Sakura's mouth dropped open a bit and grappled to say something. Kakashi didn't give her the chance and was sprinting off down another hallway, kicking open doors, scanning them and rushing onwards.

"So the truth finally comes out: you don't like me with Sasuke." Sakura puffed next to him.

"Well what did you expect Sakura?" Kakashi snarled, "you thought I would be happy that all the time you were lying to me about work or a family emergency, you were probably fucking him behind my back. Just in case," A nin dropped down but he flipped a kunai so he drove the edge into his windpipe, blood misting in the air in his face. "it wasn't fucking obvious, I'm not fucking happy."

"It wasn't fucking," Sakura coupled her own growl with a chakra powered kick to the chest of a nin who powered out of a nearby room, collapsing his chest.

He gave a self-deprecating laugh and grunted as he cracked his knuckles against another faceless ninja.

"It was only a couple of times!" Sakura cried.

Kakashi said nothing as he cracked open the last door and froze seeing a familiar bloody body, strapped to a chair. Racing in, he started slicing the straps off and palmed Jenny's sweaty forehead but it wasn't feeling feverish which was good. Reassured he continued to saw through the thick straps.

"Beauty we have-" the man who came in stopped speaking and froze seeing Kakashi by Jenny.

If anyone could see under Kakashi's mask they would see him baring his teeth.

The man ran and before Kakashi knew it he was tackling the man to the ground, flipping him over punching him one after the other in his face, using chakra only to protect his sore knuckles. There was something tugging at his arm and it was only when he felt a punch glowing green, knocked him off the captive did he stop his onslaught on the descipable man beneath him.

Sakura looked down on him her chest heaving. "We need to take him in for questioning, not beat him to death."

Kakashi huffed pushing himself to his feet, she tried to come towards him her hands glowing green with chakra all ready to heal the injury inflicted by her. Too bad, she couldn't heal the soreness of her rejection. He batted her hands away.

"I'm fine. Pick him up and come with me."

"As a med-nin-" Sakura began outraged.

"And as your captain, do as I say." Kakashi stared down at her, his eye flinty.

She flinched back a step and with a wounded face she bent to pick the body of the bloody man up. He strode back into the room which stank of blood and tears. Combing back some bloody strands from Jenny's forehead, he inspected for head damage.

After placing the man's body on the ground, Sakura's hands were illuminated and she hesitated before proceeding forward after one check to see if Kakashi was still okay with her healing Jenny. After a brief nod, she pressed her hands against Jenny's skin and she leaped back with a yelp.

"Sakura?" Kakashi stood, almost reaching for her before placing his hands back at his side. "Are you okay?"

She hunched over her hands cradling them, "I don't know. It was like she shocked me."

He frowned and looked to his hands still straightening Jenny's knotted locks. "Maybe the chakra blocks your chakra creating some kind of electric charge?"

Her brow furrowed, "But what about healing her?"

Kakashi shook his head before she finished speaking. "We just have to hope that she'll be okay for the time being as we move her, our first priority is getting out with all our team with enough chakra for another possible battle with that guy's," he pointed at the prone body at her feet, "Minions."

Kakashi gently pulled Jenny's body onto his shoulder, nodding to his partner, they rushed out of the compound.

…o0o…

I awoke lying on grass. I sat upright, my eyes darting around, searching for danger.

"Yo," a touch on my ripped shoulder, my senses went onto overload, I couldn't compute with all the colours flooding through my vision. I was breathing deeply, trying to oxygenate my dizzy head.

Like everything I could have ever felt flooded over me making my chest contract from the desire to cry and laugh and recover from heartbreak though I had no heart break to speak of.

"Don't touch me!" I cried, scooting backwards on my hands, my eyes traitorously flooding with tears and my chest tightened with tension.

I couldn't decide if it was relief that he was here, pain that I had my wounds again, disgust at my body, grief for the reminder of my sister. Or who I thought was my sister. It didn't matter, I just couldn't in function my mouth to form a sentence, it was too busy open in a silent animal cry.

Finally, a moan came out.

I sobbed quietly, crossing my arms over my chest, cupping my elbows, my shoulders shuddering from the force of my weeps, resting my back against a rough surface. A tree, from what I could gather in my damaged state. This continued for minutes, hours, centuries. I couldn't tell. Just the thought of trusting another human with my voice, my skin, my attention… I shuddered. I just couldn't stand it.

I hiccoughed and it was only when my breath was slowing down that I heard Kakashi was whispering lowly comforting words at least five metres away from me, no sign of possible contact. "Shhh, it will be okay. It is okay. We are here. I am here. Shh, you are fine. You are safe. You are safe."

Finally, my tears ebbed and rubbing my tears away, I sent him a watery smile. "You came. I hoped you would."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, falling back from his crouch on the balls of his feet until he was sat on the ground opposite me. He sat at least a metre away, his hands loosely connected between his knees, his elbows hooked over the knee caps.

We probably looked like a pair: me curled up in a ball resting against the tree trunk and Kakashi in the open, waiting for me.

"Well I had to collect another female for the endangered firefly colony in Konoha," he said a grin, sliding up to his eye.

I chuckled weakly, swiping my probably blotchy face one last time before I crawled over to him and curled up in the rough circle made by his legs and I hugged him around his waist. I tried to nuzzle into the touch, my emotions were slightly more bearable so I could stomach touching him but was blocked by a particularly bulky and annoying vest.

"Do you mind if you unzip this please?" I asked in a small voice, my finger flicking the zip, not once looking up into his face. I knew if I looked into his face, all I would see is disgust, disgust at my new body, no longer flawless. No longer smooth. No longer normal. "I just…Please?"

Kakashi didn't answer, instead his capable fingers opened his vest with obnoxious ziiiippppp.

Parting it slightly, I pushed my hands under so I could feel his touch, feel the realness of a good person, of a friend. I linked my hands on the small of his back and pressed my face into the less abrading fabric of his shirt. Kakashi didn't move his hands from his sides.

"Do," I hesitated, I pulled my face away from his chest to look slightly up at him. His face was unreadable. "Do you mind holding me?"

Wordlessly, Kakashi cupped the back of my neck, guiding me towards his chest again, his other sliding to hold my waist. And he held me. I sighed in relief, the ease of pressure in my chest almost made me cry again. I subtly scrubbed my cheek back and forth against the soft fabric and felt the heat of his skin through that barrier. I scented the soothing smell of his spearmint and tea tree, a mixture of sharp and sweet.

I almost didn't care about my emotions flaring and rubbing along all my nerve endings like painful shocks in all my limbs.

"Thank you," I said softly. "Please tell me how I can start my eternal servitude." I tried to finish with a light joke but it came out flat.

Kakashi silently, stroked my hair back from my forehead comfortingly. "Well, you never followed through with your promise of muffins," Kakashi lowered his voice to my ear, his breath hot on my skin.

The laugh was wrenched out my chest unwillingly but it was so sudden I couldn't help but laugh and rub my face a little harder into his chest, sinking into the feeling of his voice rumbling through his shirt onto my skin.

"God you are such a dick," I chuckled weakly again.

The stroking paused for a moment.

"I aim to please."

I laughed again and tightened my hold. "I missed this."

I looked up at him, just taking in everything about him from the way the silvery hair rivalled that of the moon, from the way that eye was so expressive yet hidden. Everything. Kakashi cupped the back of my neck again guiding me back to his chest giving calming rubs on the small of my back.

Kakashi slowly reclined so as not to startle me and lay on his back, with me tucked in his side. I yawned a jaw breaking yawn.

"Go to sleep firefly, dawn is coming."

His voice lulled me in, I couldn't even find it in me to complain about the nickname. I tried to protest that I wasn't tired but it was kind of ruined when I stuttered through my argument because of several yawns.

"You were right by the way," Kakashi said suddenly.

I tilted my head back to see his chin, "Yeah? How's that?"

"Girls are bitches," he said firmly, tightening his hold on my body.

I sniggered resting my forehead on his chest again, "That we are my friend, that we are."

Kakashi chuckled as I burrowed my head in his shoulder trying to find the best position before, in my sleep deprived mind thought it would be a good idea to rest on his chest. Kakashi paused in his strokes, allowing me to settle before beginning again. Nestling into his warmth, I finally drifted off into the first comfortable sleep in twenty four hours.

…o0o…

There was a pause in the rustle of the trees and Kakashi was feeling light, like his entire body was filled with helium. Like his body was trying to rise to the sky. It was so very odd. It was like his mental consciousness got more blurry too. It was disorientating to say the least.

The copy cat's minions didn't even turn up in the end and they continued on their own to the other village comfortable, meaning that Team Seven could begin its journey back. It hadn't exactly been awkward per se between the team, more like there had a line drawn and each side was wary to cross it.

Sasuke appeared oblivious and so probably came the closest to actually cross the line never mind intentionally. Next came Naruto who would be talking with his teme before he would suddenly cut off with a large scowl which he shot between Sasuke and Sakura, he was the next who came close to crossing the line.

Sakura seemed very aware of the line drawn and was distraught and tried to begin many conversations with all the teammates save one grey haired man. However, Sasuke being the antisocial bastard he was, he ignored any attempt made by the woman and Naruto being angry with Sakura meant that he tended to respond with monosyllabic answers.

That left Kakashi. Kakashi silently expressed his desire not to talk with her about her and Sasuke, then Sakura was too embarrassed to even consider making the first move no matter how much she wanted to. Kakashi lolled his head to the side and spied on Sakura's body lit with the fire's light and saw how stiff her body was and knew she was awake. Kakashi sighed.

"We might as well get this over with now, so it doesn't interrupt training," Kakashi said tiredly, his eye drooping further down.

Sakura instantly rolled over and as she caught sight of Jenny who was still nestled in the crook of his shoulder, her hand pale against the black fabric.

"Why did you demand her to bake you muffins like that?" Sakura hissed, her eyes flaring into a cat's green. "Can't you see she is vulnerable?"

Kakashi sighed and looked to the sky for support. "It is a joke between me and her."

"Doesn't mean it's appropriate, especially after," she lowered her voice.

"You know what else isn't appropriate? Fucking behind my back," Kakashi said blandly

Sakura bristled. Kakashi seemed not to react other than continuing to stroke Jenny's hair.

"I only did it to make you jealous," Sakura whispered, her fingernail digging into the soft ground, avoiding his steady gaze.

"That was poor tactics on your part," he said lowly, his pinkie getting caught in a messy knot just behind Jenny's ear. "If it was to make me jealous but you were doing it secretly. That makes perfect sense."

"Well how can I not be jealous?" Sakura almost spoke before lowering her voice again. "I saw the way you were with her earlier, the way you guys were flirting, you lent her one of your books which is a as rare as a blue moon and you almost had sex!"

"There was no 'almost' about it," Kakashi rumbled quietly. "'Almost' means that I would've contemplated it but in reality it wasn't even an option because I believe in being at least a little loyalty is required when you are 'going slow'."

He didn't need the Sharingan to see that Sakura was blushing. His eye wandered back up to the large dome that he could see lighting up with the dawn light. The lightheaded feeling was increasing from prolonged contact with the blue haired girl curled up by his side and for a moment he closed his eyes-

Takashi awoke with a start, shaking his head, he turned to the side and saw his girlfriend Saskia continued to be curled up on the corner of the bed. With a huff of frustration at having this same recurring dream he went into his ensuite, reaching over the sink he wetted his hands to rub tiredly over his face.

He looked up at the mirror to see something he always hated: the shrapnel scars decorating his chin and one that scored across just left to the middle of his mouth and the one bisecting his left eye cleanly. But the worst was the sight of that cloudy eye, the tell-tale sign that he was blind.

He saw the way his pink haired girlfriend flinched every time she saw it and she was a nurse as well, someone used to seeing indescribable injuries. It hurt. He fisted a hand in his grey locks. Another thing he hated. The year tour took its toll on his stress levels. Thirty four and already looking as old as Gramps.

He sighed again. Why was he having these dreams?

He hadn't read the Naruto manga in years, so why was he suddenly having vivid ones and who was the blue haired girl? Takashi couldn't remember her ever being there and why was it that he depicted himself as Kakashi?

If he was completely honest with himself, it wasn't like his dream scape made a whole lot of sense. Takashi wetted his hands and rubbed his face again. Cupping the back of his neck with his hands he tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling where the fluorescent light blinked unevenly.

His therapist would tell him to write everything down, a way to deal with his PTSD.

Takashi rolled his eye. Yeah, like he was going to give her another reason why he should keep attending the therapy sessions. He shook his head. I'll just make some bullshit of eating some cereal or something, he thought. Wasn't that what normal people dreamed about?

Switching off the bathroom light he made his way blindly (he snorted) towards his bed where his pink haired girlfriend lay. He gave another shake of his head before climbing into next to Saskia. Maybe he was more like Kakashi than he realised.

Burying his head under the covers, he allowed himself to be dragged unwillingly into dream land, hoping that maybe he would have good normal filled dreams rather than the terror filled ones or weird blue haired filled ones.

Hopefully.

…o0o…

When I woke next, I felt funny. Not as in nauseous, or pain filled but feeling more alive. It was odd like every breath I took in now felt like I was filling my lungs more fully. It didn't make any sense. There was also an odd sense of not being, like I had forgotten to do something, or not being completely…content.

I rolled onto my back and I was staring at a brightening blue sky. I gave a little smile and pushed myself so I was sitting upright. I looked for Kakashi but he was absent but not Sakura, she was curled up on the ground, her hands under her face, her knees tucked up to her chest, her breaths soft.

I heard the sound of trickling water. Curious, I crawled to where I could see water lapping lightly on the stream bed, slithering over the slippery stones.

I pressed my fingers into the icy water and it was like I could feel relief. Finding my feet bare already, I wobbled as I pushed myself to my feet, prepared to wade into where it looked like it went up to mid-calf which was quite a ways in.

Delighted with the way the water seemed to change its direction when blocked with my skin, the way it chose to flow around me rather than hit straight on. I wiggled my already numb toes jubilantly. I took a deep breath, revelling in the way my senses seemed sharpened, like I had suffered with a cold and I was beginning to breathe again.

I giggled and gave a slight kick to the water, sending water droplets to arc over my head and then splatter on my arms. At the sight of my arms, my heart dropped into my feet, gnawed its way out of my already ruined skin to float down the river.

They were truly ugly but I was familiar with their unsymmetrical repetition. From their slices and awkward hacks to the large stiches, the punctures on my chest, then the raw meat that was my stomach. They said it was a miracle I made it out alive in my insane fantasies. The same could be said for now.

They said it would have taken a true miracle to save her. So they saved me. I collapsed to my knees, my head bowed as my tears trembled through me. I was uncaring of the water that swam around my hips, my eyes leaking more into the water below me.

I dashed my hands against the water below me, raging against the unfairness. Fuck it. Just. Fuck. It. All. I allowed my face fall into my hands, weeping, whispering. I leaned further forward. My heated face revelled in the icy water.

I felt rather than heard the shouts. I could feel the vibrations of the sound waves but I couldn't even begin to sort it out into words. I felt arms encircle me and pick me up, towing me towards the shore, my legs trailing a dead weight. Dead. Grief welled up in me again and I couldn't help but begin to sniffle again, scrabbling at my skin, just wanting out of it.

Hands demanded my attention, securing my wrists in one hand, trying to lean their face into my line of vision, but I resolutely turned my face away, not even wanting to see the typical pity and revulsion of my marred skin. Hell, even I couldn't look at my skin without feeling that.

I felt a stinging slap to the face, numbly I looked up to see Kakashi's normally droopy eye, widened. Sakura's usually friendly face, the cold one of a stranger's. I looked to my wrists where I saw they were gripped by the gloves of Hatake Kakashi who released them when seeing I was more in control. Or more zombie-fied, less reactive.

I looked further to the ground where I saw my feet turning a slight blue hue from the cold. How long was I in there? I tried tuning into the conversation.

"…do you think you are doing?" Sakura's muffled voice scolded. "You could have gotten pneumonia."

"I wouldn't," I said tonelessly, looking past her, my eyes boring lifelessly into the tree trunk opposite me. "I found my skin doesn't just glow in the dark. It heals."

"Heals?" Kakashi cut in questioningly.

Wordlessly, I picked up an abandoned kunai from the ground and began to wordlessly cut my skin continually.

Kakashi swore, wrestling the weapon from my hands. I fought to keep it, to keep satisfying that empty part of me that was begging for more, abandoning his, I tried for Sakura's. She batted my weak hands away easily, shock on her face.

I slumped to the ground, curling in on myself and I exposed my arm for their inspection, I was barely feeling the pain, only experiencing a sense of burning. I could hear their rough intakes of breath as they watched my skin sew itself back together, the only sign of there being an injury in the first place was my blood running rivulets down with gravity to the dirt below.

"See?" I said, no inflection in my tone.

Kakashi spoke low into Sakura's ear and she tried to argue back but Kakashi probably gave her a look that meant she surrendered easily, giving up what appeared to be… bandages? My confusion seemed to cut through my numbness and I could feel my skin stretch as my brow creased.

"What-?" I began to ask as Kakashi uncoiled them expertly and started to wrap them around my hand, covering one of my scars and started to work his way up.

Slowly, Kakashi wrapped the entirety of my right arm, covering my scars from view. He then turned his attention to my left and started the whole process again. When my skin and scars were hidden, he looked me in the eye, raising his hand he deliberately lifted up his eye patch, exposing a swirling red eye.

"Sleep," I felt the command and although I struggled, I couldn't help but fall forward into the waiting arms.

I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

...o0o...

Updated: 25/6/18