Unchained Melodies

Summary: He doesn't exactly remember what happened over the past twenty-four hours, it's a blur and he knows that whatever he's done; it can't be too bad. L/J

Disclaimer: I still don't own The Mentalist.

Spoilers: Set somewhere in S2.

Warnings: Language.

A/N:

I am in NO way responsible for all the cavities you may get from this chapter! Also thanks for all the awesome reviews, alerts and reads for this story! You guys rock and make me laugh with some of the highly insane reviews (of course, insane in my world is an EXTREMELY good thing!)

Chapter Three, Part One-

She was seriously going to throw something at the next person who walked through her office door to tell her congratulations on the wedding. Somehow, it had gotten around the building pretty quickly that she and Jane had tied the knot.

Though, the details were sketchy at best.

For example, she had left her office for coffee in the kitchenette when she had heard several women gossiping about the wedding—and it amazed her the crazy ideas people could come up with if they were bored enough; she had been asked about ten times just in the past three hours if it was actually true that Jane had proposed to her riding a brilliant white steed while dressed in a knight's costume and swept her off her feet into the sunset.

If Jane had a knight's costume, she wouldn't be surprised. Actually, if he hid a knight's costume in his couch, she wouldn't be surprised. It seemed like he hid everything else in his couch or his unused desk.

"Just to let you know Lisbon, I do have a knight's costume." He interrupted her without knocking yet again. She stared up at him with her narrowed green eyes.

"Of course, I should have known…" Lisbon leaned back in her chair, watching him. "You're the one spreading the rumor."

"Meh, the rumor was already started by Aaron." Jane responded. "I just tweaked a few things, I mean honestly… I didn't tell them you were pregnant or anythi…" someone squeaked and Jane turned around to see one woman with curly black hair and brown eyes standing behind him.

"Yes?"

"I..I just wanted to say congratulations on your marriage…"

"Thank you," an aspirated Lisbon responded, the woman then bit her lip before continuing on.

"You're not expecting are you?" the woman's eyes lingered on Jane and he grinned before looking down at his stomach.

"How kind of you to notice," Jane's responses made the woman's eyes go wide, and she squeaked before turning and high-tailing it out of the office.

"Great Jane!" Lisbon chided. "How the hell am I supposed to get the rumors to stop going around about me being pregnant." He did that thing with his eyebrow again, and managed to lower his voice into a husky tone.

"We could always go find a supply clo … OUCH!" Lisbon hadn't missed that time.

"You're lucky, six inches lower—and children would have been out of the question." Lisbon cheekily grinned, and Jane glared at her.

"That hurt, I should report you." Lisbon stared up at him.

"—and all they'll say is, "you deserved it."" Lisbon responded. "So go right ahead." Something akin to a pout crossed his features and she rolled her eyes.

"But…but…"

"I swear, I'll report you for sexual harassment." Jane chose that moment to leave, not before he stuck his head in and replied to her statement.

"But baby, it's not sexual harassment if you like it." She pulled herself up from her chair, and slammed her office door behind his retreating back.

"What was that about?" Rigsby asked.

"Nothing at all" Jane responded, and kept walking toward the couch but he turned back to the three. "If anyone says anything about Lisbon being pregnant…" The three stared at him, as a grin spread across his face. "Never mind." and he continued onto the couch.

"I don't think we'll be needed this weekend." Lisbon told her team. "Mitchell said he was putting another team on weekend duty." Rigsby hid his excited exclaim behind a cough and Jane smirked, of course, Rigsby would be with Van Pelt all weekend. "However, we know how he is." Everyone nodded. "Have a good weekend." Everyone nodded in some mixed response, and hurried to leave the office. Jane moved to her side once the team had left and didn't say anything for a few minutes while she went back to grab whatever she needed.

"In a hurry aren't they?" Jane questioned, Lisbon was still in her office. "I personally can't wait for my weekend to begin; it's going to be our first weekend together!" Lisbon ignored him. "How about I cook you dinner…"

"No." Lisbon's voice from her office carried, loud and clear.

"Why not?"

"Jane, I don't think letting you around any fire or sharp object would be a very good idea." Lisbon told him and he rolled his eyes, it wasn't like he was going to burn down her apartment or anything.

"Can you cook then?"

"Yes."

"I'm not talking about meals in the microwave, Lisbon." Jane taunted, she stepped back into the bullpen and crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm pretty sure you have a kitchen, that is unused because…"

"Excuse me?" Jane knew this look, it was the 'you-had-best-shut-up-before-I-come-and-kill-you-with-my-bare-hands' look.

"I'm just saying…"

"No, you are not burning down my apartment."

"Oh come on…"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." Lisbon's voice cut in and Jane, who was so concentrated on getting the best of Lisbon didn't catch the change in the argument.

"No." Lisbon smirked, and Jane pouted. "That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair."

"You cheated!"

"It's called reverse psychology." Lisbon pointed out.

"It's called cheating." Jane still pouted.

"I don't care what you call it; you're not cooking." Lisbon told him. "Now, come on. I'd like to get home before everyone leaves." Jane snorted.

"It's the CBI. No one ever leaves." Lisbon just shook head and started out of the room. "I stay here sometimes, and someone's always here…"

"Jane, did you think that might be because they're afraid you might end up doing one of your stunts here?"

"Nah." He responded, grinning. "It's the fact that they can't stop staring at me."

"Jane, they're paid to watch you."

"No…"

"We're not starting this again," Lisbon argued and he grinned.

"Then let me cook." She threw her hands in the air and stomped off in the direction of the parking lot. Jane chuckled and called after her, hurrying to catch up. "Does that mean yes?" the words that rolled from her lips after that caused him to chuckle louder, who knew she had such a way with her curses.

The keys clanked together in the lock, and she pressed the door open with the palm of her hand while thinking how thankful she was for the fact that Jane didn't feel the need to have an encore performance inside her car. Jane trailed after her, both bags in his hands and let both bags fall from his hands once the both of them had stepped inside the apartment, he turned back to the front door and shut the door before turning back to Lisbon.

"I should take the luggage up to our room." He softly spoke.

"Ye… wait our room?"

"Do you really think I'm going to sleep on a couch, Lisbon?" Jane was grinning again and Lisbon rolled her eyes, she should have known that Jane would be someone hard to deal with.

"You sleep on my couch in the bullpen…"

"That's different," Jane explained.

"How?" and what proceeded was a fifteen minute lecture on his strange couch habits. Lisbon had no idea that Jane could be so territorial when it came to the couch, which had been paid for by taxpayers' money because someone thought that the CBI's Serious Crime Unit looked extremely bare with only desks and her office. Of course it looked bare; it was to keep people from falling asleep at work. If she could keep Jane awake, she'd have him sit at that desk of his and actually fill out the hours of paperwork that his stunts caused her. Maybe he'd learn then.

"Uh…Lisbon?" Jane asked, and she shakes her head to bring herself from a daydream of the mountains of paperwork she'd have him do as punishment and the handcuffs she'd use to chain him to the desk to make sure he actually did his work to find Jane with his head slightly cocked. "I didn't think couches made you laugh manically." She grinned mischievously and Jane grinned brightly back. "That look usually means I'm getting something good tonight."

"I'll ignore that comment in favor of the good mood I'm in now," Lisbon explained, and continued into her kitchen, where her counters hold a few containers of flour, sugar and salt. She'd have to see first thing Monday about getting rid of his couch completely, but knowing Jane he'd try and sleep in her office and that's the last thing she wants. "Now, I'm going to make us dinner…" Jane coughed. "What?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea either…" Lisbon crossed her arms against her chest and stared at him, good mood quickly evaporating. "If you don't want me to cook, and I don't want you to cook—what do you suggest we do?" Jane wickedly grinned.

"I've got a few…." He didn't even see the flour coming, and only blinked when it hit his face. Instead of saying anything, he leaned over and knocked the lid off the sugar container before putting his hand into the container and grabbing the sugar in his hand.

"Don't you dare…!" Lisbon didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as the white substance hit her full on in the face. Jane was laughing, and was distracted at the moment in his laughter fit that Lisbon was able to steal over to the fridge and open it, and grab the carton of eggs from the side compartment of her refrigerator. "Feeling lucky, are we Jane?" Jane's eyes slowly widened when he found that she held the carton of eggs and was popping the lid from the eggs to carefully grab one egg and balance it in the palm of her hand. She didn't give him the time to scramble back, because she already had the egg smashed on the top of his head, running into his hair and down the back of his neck. "I've heard eggs are good for the hair, and now maybe you won't have to use a ridiculous amount of products on your hair."

"Oh it's on, Lisbon." And he plunged his hand back into the sugar container…