"Haru?" I hear my mother call from her quilting room. "Haru, is that you?"

"Yes, Mom, don't worry." I say thickly. "Just me." My mom, being my mom, comes out, sensing something is wrong.

"Dear, what's the matter? You're home early. And your hair is a little… flustered. Come to think of it, the whole of you is flustered." She takes my shoulder and guides me to the dining table, where I groan and rest my head on the wooden surface.

"I don't know what the matter is, that's the problem…" I murmur. I look up to see her looking at me worriedly.

"Oh, dear." She walks to the cabinet. "This will take a while. I'll get you a drink. Tea, maybe?"

"No!" I feel my eyes flood with tears. "S-sorry mom… no thank you. Just… some water or milk or something." I wipe my eyes of the fresh tears.

"Hot chocolate?" She asks, and I just nod, looking down at my lap. She prepares two mugs of the warm drink in silence, as though she is trying to figure out what to say first. "…Okay." She finally speaks, sitting down in the chair across from me. "Talk to me about it. What happened. Tell me in whatever fashion you'd prefer. Tell it like a story if you must."

I sigh, and take a sip of the warm drink. Through my hiccups and choking back tears, I tell her all about Machida kissing me and saying how he liked me. I stay clear of how I went to the Crossroads, just that I took a walk out in the air and lost track of how far I went, so I just decided to come home.

"So why didn't you like… him kissing you?" My mother asks me, slightly uncomfortable with this topic, being the first time coming across it. "Didn't you have the hugest crush on him a few months ago?" I look up at her, surprised that she knew that, and she chuckles. "You and Hiromi are not the quietest girls when you're in my living room."

"Oh…" I force a smile. "Well…" Now how to make it look as though I am not crazy…? "I met another guy. He doesn't live here; it was just a one day thing. He… sort of brought me down to earth and opened my eyes to everything. I sort of… stopped caring about Machida like how I did before then."

"Another guy, hmm?" My mother's eyebrows raise, and I stare at her, daring her to say more. "Never mind. You said it was a one day thing. So why did you run off?"

"I already said, Mom. I needed air. He sort of… caught me by surprise. And you know me, Mom. When I have to clear my head, I move." I sigh, putting down my empty mug. "I just don't know what to do. I thought I could manage my life and make it… not complicated, but that's not going so well."

"What you need is some well-earned rest." I flinch, realized how similar what she said was to what he said when he… said goodbye. "Come on, tut-tut!" She stands up and gently pulls me out of my chair and towards the stairs. Kissing my forehead, she says, "Sleep on it. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Love you, Mom." I sigh, and click up the stairs. I enter my messy-but-homey bedroom, and change into my new pajamas – they have blue and off-white stripes on them. I look at the yellow dress, gloves, and chipped tiara I laid out on an overlarge purple cushion. "Too much like back then." I look away and climb onto my bed, looking out the window.

I think of how everyone is probably going home now from the party. I look at the table by my bed, and see my cell phone, which I forgot to bring with me to the party. I see it flashing with more than one missed call alert, all from Hiromi.

Too lazy and out-of-it to call back, I decide to text message her instead, saying simply: "i'm fine. talk 2 u 2morro. love haru."

I look back out the window. "Where have you disappeared to? I can't find anyone. And you told me to trust myself. But I have nothing to trust. I don't know what to think, so how can I trust what I don't know?" I sigh.

"I thought I could move on. Isn't that what you would want? It's so hard… I don't know if I've made any progress at all." I wipe some fresh tears from my eyes. Looking up at the moon, I shakily sigh again. "We're looking at the same moon, aren't we? Are you even thinking of me at all? Oh what am I saying? I'm being ridiculous." I tighten my hands into fists in my hair.

"I thought I would be able to see you again. But you're gone. I can't find you. Mu-Muta's never there anymore… and back so many months ago, he made it so that I cannot remember the way." I shut my eyes.

"Moving on is hard to do. I've tried. Are you trying too? I just hope… we find happiness. That you find happiness, if you haven't already. I'll… I'll survive. I just want to find where I belong; because I don't think it's here anymore. I thought it was, and then I didn't think it was, but you convinced me that here is where I belong. But now my confidence in that decision is faltering." I feel myself shake, and I silence myself so that I do not bring on more crying.

I hope sleep finds me soon. I don't want to be awake right now. Just don't haunt my dreams. They're all I have left.

But I know you'll be in my dreams anyway.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/N

Here's a quickie.

She's sooooooo distressed.

Hope she finds out what she wants soon.

Without losing too many tears along the way.

Until next time, byebye! =^.^=

The Cat Returns is not mine. It is Studio Ghibli's.