Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise. I am just borrowing the characters for my mere amusement.
Al: Cari also doesn't own the pop culture references she tends to make on here.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a special chapter of Jusk Ask :D I'm Queen Cari and this is my co-host, Alphonse Elric!
Al: Hi!
Me: I would like to thank MissiB, Ash, Aida, Not so human, Guest, Revix, xDhanachanXD, agarfinkel, highway country 1994, Bluefire21, ms cheerful, Punkin717, and justaguest (Though I'd appreciate if you don't kidnap the characters anymore)for their questions. You guys are awesome and I love you all!
Now, like I said last chapter, this is a special installment. Truth or Dare. Your normal questions are going to be considered "Truth" so, everyone has to answer them... TRUTHFULLY. And of course there are the dares. Well, I guess we are going to start this thing.
We got our cast back guys! Lan Fan and Lt. Hawkeye were kind enough to bring back our boys. Also, Ed and Mustang are no longer stuck to each other.
Mustang: -glares at me-
Ed: You witch.
Me: Why do you guys call me a witch? I'm not a witch.
...
Well then, let's get this round of Truth or Dare started. Al, will you do the honors?
Al: Gladly! Hey guys, and welcome to Truth or Dare! Here's MissiB for the first few questions. -crosses fingers that he won't get an embarrassing one-
Envy, the more you b*** about being a Transgender Palm Tree, the more I'm gonna call you that, sorry *evil grin* so, I have a dare for you, Tranny PT! I dare you to hug Ed for a full two minutes. AND ED YOU CAN'T FIGHT HIM OFF! Muhahahaha!
Envy: I should just tear you apart, human.
Me: Envy, darling, you got a dare.
Envy: I'm not going to do it.
Me: It's the rules, Envy. If you don't do it, I am not going to release you guys.
Envy: You bitch.
Greed: Come on, you transgender palm tree. Just hug the runt.
Ed: LITTLE RUNT!? I'LL BEAT YOU INTO A PULP!
Envy: Fine! Where's the pipsqueak!
Ed: NO! GET AWAY!
Me: Edward, you can't fight him off.
Edward: I HATE YOU!
Al: Brother... it's our only way out. Don't you want to escape?
Ed: ... FINE!
Envy: -walks over and hugs Ed for two minutes, then proceeds in kneeing him in the gut-
Ed: Ow! YOU BASTARD!
Envy: -goes back to his seat- They never said to not hit him. -folds arms-
Me: Touche. Here's Sora Kim
Here's a question and a dare for Ed as well as Envy.
Both of them: Well, fuck!
Ed: What do you think your life would be like if Winry never existed?
Ed: ... Well... Al and I won't have a really good friend like her. Two... if it weren't for Winry... then... I wouldn't have my leg. And I wouldn't have had that arm either.
Winry: I did what I could just to make sure you can reach your goal.
Ed: And for that I appreciate it. Winry, you really mean a lot to us.
Winry: -blushes- Th-Thanks, Ed.
I dare you to go to Winry and give her a kiss.
Ed: Wait, what?!
Winry: Wah?!
Mustang: Do it, Fullmetal.
Hughes: Aw, -pulls out camera-
Ed: HEY! N-No! What!? U-Uh... THINK THINK! HYDROGEN, HELIUM-
Winry: J-Just do it, Ed. So we can get out of here.
Ed: Wait, what?!
Winry: JUST DO IT! ... -blushes-
Ed: ... -sighs- Fine. How long?
Me: Three seconds.
Ed: Fine. -walks up to Winry and gives her a kiss on the cheek-
Me: Well... they never specified the kiss.
-SNAPSHOT-
-WOOT!-
-AW!-
Ed: -pulls away- Fuck you all! -sits and pouts-
Winry: -blushing-
Al: Awww I've been waiting for that for fourteen years. Here's one for Envy.
Envy:Why do you wear feminine clothes?
Envy: My clothes are not feminine! Besides, I look good in this. It explains all the fangirls I have.
-Screaming fangirls in the background-
Ed: I would never understand why you would have fangirls.
Envy: Same can be said for you, pipsqueak.
Ed: DON'T CALL ME A PIPSQUEAK!
Me: Ed, calm down.
Ed: HE CALLED ME A PIPSQUEAK!
Me: That's his nickname for you, kid. Get used to it. Anyways, Envy:
I dare you to go a full chapter without yelling, cursing, or being mean in any way.
Envy: Too late for that.
Me: Starting now, Envy.
Greed: In other words, shut up.
Envy: ... -plots ways to kill Greed after this-
Al: I have a feeling this isn't going to end well. HowsBoutNo is up!
Question for Mustang's unit: What are all of your thoughts about Mustang and Hawkeye being together?
Mustang: What?
Havoc: -smirks and takes out a box- See this, people? This is our betting pool. We have placed bets to see when will the Chief finally have the guts to ask her out.
Mustang: You did what now?!
Hawkeye: You four know that there are rules for a reason.
Havoc: -shrugs- We don't care. We ship it. Hard.
Mustang: -mutters something under his breath-
And I dare Hawkeye and Mustang to kiss, like they mean it, and then give their honest opinions about each other after that.
HAHAHAHA :D
Me: Oh my God! You have to do it. On the mouth! Go!
Mustang: No.
Ed: Come on, Colonel. I kissed my mechanic. Now kiss your Lieutenant.
Mustang: I won't do it unless she wants to.
Hawkeye: ... We don't really have a choice, don't we?
Me: Nope.
Hawkeye: -sighs- Rules don't apply here, right?
Me: Nu-uh.
Hughes: -waves camera- Come on, Roy!
Me: New picture for your collection, right?
Hughes: Of course!
Mustang: ... -sighs- I hate you all.
Me, Hughes, Mustang Unit: We love you too, Colonel.
Mustang: -gets up- Same time as Fullmetal, right?
Me: ... Nope. Ten seconds.
Hughes: On the mouth!
Havoc: And, LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
Mustang: ...
Hawkeye: ... -sighs-
Mustang: -kisses Hawkeye on the lips-
Hughes: Awww -snapshot-
Al: Huh... Brother was right, they make a good couple.
Falman: I win the bet.
Havoc: Shit! -hands box to him-
Mustang: -pulls away- There.
Me: I didn't say stop.
Hawkeye: That was ten seconds.
Me: Well... I changed it.
Mustang: You can't do that.
Me: I'm the host. :D Do what I say.
Mustang: Fuck you.
Me: Sorry for being a Royai fan... Oh, by the way, answer the question after that. It's Truth for both of you.
Mustang: ...
Hawkeye: Well, what I think of the Colonel? I think he is a lazy, manipulative, sometimes useless-
Mustang: HEY!
Hawkeye: -moron who needs a slap on the head.
-Snickering-
Ed: I agree
Hawkeye: However, Roy Mustang is a good man who is trying his best to fix the mistakes of the past and restore justice to the country he loves. He is a man who I will always trust and follow, even into the depths of hell.
Me: ... Do you love him?
Hawkeye: ... You can say that.
Mustang: -blushes- Well, Lieutenant Hawkeye is an amazing woman. She is an outstanding soldier and I am proud to have her in my unit. Riza Hawkeye is perhaps the greatest person in my life, and definitely the person I trust the most.
Me: ... Do you love her?
Mustang: -smiles- You can say that.
...
...
...
Hughes: ... AWWWW
Armstrong: THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EXCHANGE I HAVE EVER SEEN! -manly tears-
Me: ... Major... put your... no, fuck it.
Ed: Well... damn.
Al: ... Yeah, they make a good couple.
Me: I need time to think... Al, host for now. -wanders off-
Al: Cari's drowning in her tears of happiness. Well, now a few questions from Awesomenessgirl
Hey Its me Awesomenessgirl Anyway Ed and Al your both my Favorite and Roy your useless as always! And Ed if any one calls you S word then Call me and Anyway here's the Question
Roy: Why are you useless?
Mustang: I'm not useless! Geez. I burned the fuck out of two homunculi for goodness sake!
Lust and Envy: -silently curse the Colonel under their breath-
Ed: Ed Why won't you ask Winry Out alright! ;3
Ed: ... I don't know, why dont YOU ask your crush out alright?!
Hughes: ... Your crush?
Ed: -blushing- Shut up.
Winry: Your soo Lucky to have a Awesome guy like Ed can you tell how to get a guy like Ed?
Winry: I don't even know myself. And thank you.
Hughes: Since Your Awesome l will give you these *Gives picture of his daughter* And Why do you show off your daughter?
Hughes: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I need more after that fiasco with Roy last time.
Mustang: I said I was sorry.
Hughes: Uh huh... Anyways, thank you! I show off my little princess because she is my world. She makes me happy and she's the reason why I look forward to life! You want to see her?
Al: Oh and Al can you teach me your Alchemy l only know Water alchemy?!
Al: Water alchemy? I'll show you how if you show me how you do water alchemy
Ed: Hey, why isn't she asking me?
Al: Because you can't do alchemy anymore?
Ed: I gave it up for you!
That's all but l will be back soon XD Stay Awesome all of you!
Al: Thank you, so much! And thanks for not daring us to do anything... yet. .-.
Ed: Don't give them any ideas. Say, where's the witch? Did she drown in her tears?
Mustang: Hope she did.
Al: Brother, Colonel! That's not nice!
Mustang: She deserves it...
Al: Someone should look for her.
...
...
...
Al: -sighs- Fine. I'll look for her. Anyone want to join me?
May: I'll go!
Winry: I'll go, too.
Ling: Ooo, an adventure! Let's go, Lan Fan!
Lan Fan: Okay.
Ed: Wait, who's gonna host this?
Mustang: DIBS!
Ed: HEY!
Al: Go for it Colonel! Let us know if we got dared to do something!
-Group leaves-
Mustang: Well then, looks like I'm the host. This is gonna be sweet! Here we have an entry from aida.
Here's a dare for ed. ed, i dare you to read this smutty royai fic. *passes him a smutty fanfic*
Mustang: A Royai fic?
Hughes: Ooo so it's about Roy and Lt. Hawkeye?
Ed: What's smutty? -looks over fic- Hm... -reads it- ... What the fuck... -skims through it- It's... a... ew... EWW! WHAT THE FUCK! I DONT WANT THOSE MENTAL IMAGES! EWWW! -throws it aside-
Hawkeye: Edward? Are you okay?
Ed: S-Stay back! I don't know where those hands have been! -sits in a corner-
Hawkeye: ... -looks over fic and reads it. She blushes- What the fuck?
Mustang: Hand it over.
Hawkeye: S-Sir...
Mustang: -skims through it, and his eyes widen- W-Whoa.
Havoc: Read it out loud, chief.
Mustang: -snaps fingers and fic bursts into flames- You guys have some imagination.
-Awkward glances between Mustang and Hawkeye-
Ed: Mental images. Get them out of my head.
Mustang: -ahem- M-Moving on! Here's Bluefire21!
I hope they'll be back because I have truths for them! And a dare or so.
Mustang: Don't worry, we are back... except Ling left... But Fullmetal and I are here.
Hughes- (if you can get more Royai and Roy parental pictures I'll recreate the one's of Elycia that the colonel burned!)
Hughes: I got them kissing :D -hands them to Bluefire21-
Mustang - Don't worry, I don't think you're useless!
Mustang: Thanks, darling.
(unless your wet of course)
Mustang: ...
Ed: -snickers-
And I have a few truths for you. 1. Do you or do you not consider the Elrics like sons? 2. When you become Fuher, will you ask the lieutenant to marry you? And no, you may not avoid, skip, or give a false answer to these questions.
Mustang: Your first question... -looks at Edward, who just snapped out of his traumatized zone- Fine. I feel responsible towards them, but it's not because they are kids. In fact, I was the one who brought them the option to join the military. I gave them that choice, and I know that makes me responsible for their actions. I'm their commanding officer. I won't consider myself a father to them, but in a way... they are like younger brothers to me.
Hughes: Translation: Yes, they are sons to him.
Mustang: Shut up. As for your second question... -looks at Hawkeye and clears his throat- Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: Yes?
Mustang: -leans over and whispers something in her ear-
Hawkeye: -eyes widen- ... I'll think about it.
...
Mustang: ... At least it's not a "no".
Ed: What did you ask her.
Mustang: Nothing. Moving on,
Ed- I dare you to act nicely towards the colonel for a whole segment, and you can't yell at anyone for calling you short! And as for a truth, how do you truly feel for the colonel? And while I'm at it, what about Winry?
Ed: ... Fuck my life.
Mustang: Sorry, Fullmetal.
Ed: ... -grumbles- Fine. My true feelings for the Colonel... he's a moron. He's stupid. He's a jerk. He's useless on rainy days, he's a dumbass. He's a bastard.
Mustang: She just dared you to act nicely to me.
Ed: ... -mocks a sweet tone- But I'm suppose to say how I truly feel about you, Colonel. -ahem- ... But I respect his goals. I respect that he accepts responsibility and I'm glad he is doing something about it. He's... -mutters-
Mustang: What is that, Fullmetal? I can't hear you.
Ed: ... I said you're like an ... -mutters-
Mustang: Speak up.
Ed: You're like a parental older brother to me... -grumbles-
Mustang: A handsome older brother?
Ed: Go eat a... -remembers his dare- Just zip it.
Mustang: -smirks in victory-
Ed: I already answered about Winry.
Mustang: Yes he did. Oh, here's a note
And P.S (for everyone, including the nice author who is not a witch)
Ed: She is a witch!
Hawkeye: Why do you guys call her a witch?
Ed and Mustang: ... Because, yes.
I meant Scar from the Lion King, not the FMA one. Even though it was Simba who sang it, I have head cannons! And as for all you FMA people, just look up the Lion King if you don't know what it is!
Mustang: We watched it, and I liked it... kinda. I liked the monkey.
Ed: Is it that one movie with the lions and singing?
Hughes: It was a fun movie! I must show it to Elysia.
Ed: ... I hate this era's movies. That movie made Al cry.
Mustang: You fell asleep through it.
Ed: Exactly. It was boring.
Mustang: Moving on... here's Shalcro!
LOLZ this is so funny! Okay I have a few questions for you all.
Ed: Would you ever date one of your fangirls? (AKA Me) (Sorry I bes a fangirl)
Ed: ... I don't know you guys. Sorry.
Olivier: DARE! I dare you to sing Man I Feel Like A Women by Shania Twain! :D
Olivier: ... What.
Mustang: Do it, General.
Olivier: You have to be fucking kidding me.
Mustang: Come on, we all did the dares. You have to as well.
Olivier: ...
I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
No, I can't do this shit.
Mustang: Come on, General. Show off your wonderous femin-
-Olivier knees him in the stomach... hard-
Mustang: -wheezes in pain-
Hawkeye: ... You had it coming, Colonel.
-Olivier smirks and goes back to sit in her seat-
Mustang: -wheezing- Mo-Moving on...
Mustang: Nicki Manji or Miley Cyrus?
Mustang: -Holding his stomach- Wh-What about them? I-I don't kno-ow who Ni-Nicki Manjina is... A-And I think the w-witch mentioned that Miley Cyrus... is not h-h-human.
Ed: If you were a Pokemon Trainer who would be your starter?
Ed: ... What's Pokemon?
Mustang: I-It's those little creature t-things that use powers or some sh-shit like that to beat up each other.
Hughes: No it's not! Pokemon are our friends, and we can train them to do battle. We bond with them that way.
Ed: ... Have you been hanging around modern day folk too much?
Hughes: I like this era. It's fun!
Mustang: ... Moving on...
Al: Here's a cat, be my friend?
Ed: Al's not here at the moment. -stares at cat- Aw, it's cute.
Hughes: I thought you hated cats.
Ed: I don't mind cats. I just didn't have time for them. -gets cat and places him on his lap-
Okay that's all the questions I can come up with, plz update soon!
Mustang: -taking a deep breath- She'll update as soon as she gets back. Speaking of... where is she?
-Ling and Lan Fan return with tacos-
Ling: We couldn't find Miss Cari. -eats tacos-
Mustang: ... Did you just raid her kitchen?
Ling: ... Nope. We found it in a fridge.
Mustang: ... You were suppose to be looking for the witch.
Ling: ... Who?
Mustang: Cari!
Ling: Ooo, right right. I dunno.
Mustang: ... Well then... moving on. Here's... the one who kidnapped us...
Ling: -stays by Lan Fan-
Mustang: -sits by Hawkeye- Here's justaguest.
okay you can have them back.
Mustang: We're back, thank you very much!
here are my dares
roy - i dare you to hug ed really tight and stay like that for ten seconds
ed - hug him back while you're at it
Mustang: ... Get over here, Fullmetal.
Ed: Fuck me...
(RoyEd fangirls rejoice)
Mustang: That sounds wrong.
Ed: I didn't mean THAT way you pervert.
(RoyEd fangirls' hearts burst into two)
Mustang: -hugs Ed-
Ed: -stubbornly hugs him back-
Hughes: -snapshot-
Ling: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six- Oops, lost count!
Ed: Idio- -remembers other dare- Dammit-
Mustang: I swear, I'll burn you all.
Ling: Colonel, be nice to Ed! :D
Mustang: -.-"
Al: -returning- Hey guys, we're back! -notices Ed hugging Mustang- Uh..
Mustang: Don't ask.
Al: ... We couldn't find Cari.
Mustang: -releasing Ed- Well, she couldn't have wandered off.
Al: -sees cat- Ooo! Cat!
Ed: Oh right, Shalcro gave him to you and asked to be your friend.
Al: I'll be your friend, Shalcro! Thanks! -hugs cat-
Mustang: You want to take over, Alphonse?
Al: -hugging cat- Your name is going to be Neko!
Mustang: ... Well then... I'll continue. Here's agarfinkel
Here are my dares:
1. Ed- drink an entire gallon of milk
Ed: ... Why me?
Mustang: Drink the milk, Fullmetal.
Ling: -summons gallon of milk- Come on, Ed! Drink it!
Ed: Fuck you all. -grabs gallon and takes a gulp-
Al: He's actually drinking it.
Ed: -stops and chokes- Ew! Dammit!
Mustang: Drink the entirety of it.
Ed: ... -dumps milk on the floor-
Al: Brother!
Ling: Ew
Hughes: Now that's just rude!
Ed: I'll clean it up! -walks off to look for a mop-
Mustang: That little brat... anyways, moving on:
2. Buccaneer- call Olivier ugly right in front of her face
Buccaneer: ... You're ugly, General.
Olivier: That's nice to know.
Havoc: You're not mad?
Olivier: Should I be? It just shows that my subordinates have balls.
-Briggs soldiers smirk with pride-
3. Olivier- lift a piano in the air with ONLY one hand (even Katherine was able to do this)
Ed: -returning with a mop- That's physically impossible.
Armstrong: Nothing is physically impossible for the Armstrong family! Lifting pianos with one hand is the talent that has been passed to our youngest sister!
Havoc: ... -remembering that date with Katherine and shudders-
4. Al- steal Winry's wrench
Al: ... Well, Winry is not around... -steals one of her wrenches-
-Somewhere in the studio-
Winry: ... I felt a disturbance...
May: I didn't feel anything.
Winry: No... it's something only I could feel.
May: .-.
Al: ... Do I keep this?
Ed: I think you do.
Al: ... Okay...
Mustang: ... Moving on. Here's MistressofSeven77
Greetings one and all! I have a dare for Roy and Olivier.
Mustang: Well, shit
Olivier: I am not trying anything with that scum.
Mustang: ...
Roy's dare? Dare you to kiss Riza. Oh, and not just any kiss. I mean a deep tongue passionate kiss of romance!
Mustang: ... You have to be fucking kidding me.
Al: Sorry, Colonel, and Lieutenant.
Mustang: ... Fine! -walks up to Hawkeye- I apologize in advance, Lieutenant.
Hawkeye: At this point I really don't care anymore.
Hughes: You have to care, Hawkeye! We all know there's something between you two!
Mustang and Hawkeye: ...
Ed: Just kiss and get it over with.
Mustang: ... With tongue?
Hughes: The reviewer said, and I quote "a deep tongue passionate kiss of romance"
Mustang: Our reviewers are kind of dramatic... don't you think?
Hawkeye: Just shut up and get it over with.
Mustang: .-. -gives her a "deep tongue passionate kiss of romance"-
Ed: ... -remembers fanfic that he read- Mental images are returning...
Mustang: -pulls away breathlessly- Sorry.
Hawkeye: It's fine, sir. You're not that bad.
Mustang: ... What?
Hawkeye: Moving on:
Olivier's? Same type of kiss, but anyone she chooses, because I like her better.
Olivier: Okay. -doesn't get up from her seat-
Mustang: ... Hey! You're suppose to do it as well.
Olivier: -smirks- The reviewer told me to kiss anyone of my choosing. I choose no one.
Mustang: ... What the fuck?
AND HELLO MISTER PALM TREE! I THINK I SAW YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW-OH, I'M SORRY, I WAS MISTAKING YOU FOR THE REAL THING! HAHAHAHA!
Envy: ... -plotting a way to kill MistressofSeven77 in his head-
Mustang: Well, here we have a new entry from adalmiina-alexandra
You are the most wonderful my queen! *bow down on my knees*
Mustang: Get up, darling. No need to bow to a witch like her.
And now if I may I have a couple of dares.
Roy - Give Edward a big wet kiss... just kidding. :p
Ed: Wait, what?! Oh... good.
Mustang: What the fuck... that's just wrong. Ew.
Anyways here are the real dares.
Havoc - Don't smoke in 24 hours.
Havoc: -cigarette in mouth- What?! No!
Mustang: -smirks- Spit it out, Havoc.
Havoc: You guys are fucked up.
Hawkeye: -gets up and snatches cigarette from his mouth- We all have to participate in these dares, and that means you too, Havoc.
Havoc: ... I feel naked now.
Scar - Tell a joke.
Scar: A joke? ...
Ed: Come on, Scar. Just say something.
Scar: ... Something.
Ed: ... Close enough.
Mustang: ... Well then...
May: We're back! -rushes into the studio-
Winry: We found out where Cari's at! -holds a note up-
Mustang: Where the hell is she?
Winry: -hands him the note- You're not going to like it...
Mustang: -ahem, and in a mocking high voice- Dear FMA cast. Pardon the departure, but I realized that the Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug comes out today and I ditched you all to watch it. When I return we will be back to basics. That means no more Truth or Dare next week, guys. Sorry!
Ed: Thank Truth for that.
Truth: You're welcome.
Mustang: ... What the hell is a Smaug?
Al: Beats me.
Al: Cari would like to thank the reviewers who help make this possible. Truth or Dare might be an option that would come out again sometime. Thanks for participating!
Mustang: It was torture. Anyways, thanks for coming! Feel free to leave questions for us in the comments.
Al: So are we co-hosts?
Mustang: I guess.
Al: ... I like this job.
Mustang: I do too.
Al: -pets cat- Neko likes this job too.
Neko: -meow-
Translation: Friday the 13th today... so it begins.