Disclaimer: Last time I checked, my name was not Joanne Kathleen Rowling.

A/N: WE ARE SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! All the teachers decided this would be a great time to have everything due, and to set us lots of tests. Cheers guys. And the other author seemed to think this was a great time to go on holiday, so she's half way across the world - so for now it's just me. Anyway I hope you like this chapter, please leave a review!

This just in; James Sirius Potter seems to have a thing for older women.

Now before you run away to comfort 90% of the girls at Hogwarts, stay for a minute so I can fill you in on what went down.

So Emily and I are just strolling out of the Three Broomsticks –and by strolling I mean me carrying her half-drunk butt out of the door- turning the corner, ready to go home and start on the potions homework that is 474827592 days late, when we see my idiotic eldest sibling

Hitting

On

Madam Rosmerta. WHAT IS THIS SORCERY!

He was trying to KISS HER, staring at her with this lovestruck look he only looks at his Firebolt 2000 with, while she was looking half amused and half disgusted look on her face.

"Please Rosmerta; I know we could work this out. How's about me, you and Madam Puttifoot's tomorrow night?" He was almost crooning at her, while I was rooted to the spot, frozen in shock.

Oh dear Merlin, get me out of here. Take me to detention scrubbing cauldrons. Take me back into the bar. Take me anywhere but here.

Emily burst out into raucous laughter, stumbling about. "Why don't you try McGonagall, Potter? I hear she's single and ready to mingle!"

"Or what about the creep from the Hog's Head? I reckon he's in your league, should I get him to write to you sometime?" Emily was on a roll now, but I couldn't do anything about it, but try I was furious at her. For me having to bail her out all the time, for what she was saying about my brother. I tried to pull her away before she could do any more damage. My brother's eyes were already heating up the way they do when he gets angry. But I was trying in vain; Emily started to scratch my face when I grabbed her around the waist to lead her away.

TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE, SERIOUSLY.

Good thing I took sumo-wrestling classes last summer! I yanked on a section of her long, dark hair sharply, and she let out a scream and starting using words that would have gotten her a lifetime of detention, while I flipped her over and sat on her to shut her up. While she was cussing her brains out, Scorpius took that exact moment to walk into our scene; Madam Rosmerta huddled in the corner, James' body flung in front of hers, yelling "I'll save you!", Emily yelling through a faceful of snow and me screaming "TAKE ME TO KANSAS, MERLIN!", at the top of my lungs. Somehow I had lost a shoe in my fight with Emily, and had fingernail scratches on my face.

Attractive, I know. Wizards, form a line.

Scorp and I locked eyes for one second and he nodded.

"SCORP-MAN TO THE RESCUE!" he shouted happily, as he hauled Emily over his shoulder and grabbed my hand in his, leading me up the path that would lead us back to Hogwarts. I looked over my shoulder and gave an apologetic glance to my Madam Rosmerta. The poor soul had to deal with my brother as well as my best friend just then.

"Scorp-man?" I ask Scorpius, trying unsuccessfully to hide my grin.

"There will come a day when the fate of the wizarding world will rest in Scorp-man's hands, so don't you dare laugh at a superhero's name!" He announced.

"Sure thing, Scorp-boy," I teased, before softening. "And thanks. I owe you one."

"No worries Lil, anytime." He grinned down at me. "So...what was going on back there?"

"Don't go there, Scorp. Just some family stuff, you know how it is." I sighed.

"Anyone you want me to bash up, little Lil?"

"Not this time." I laughed.

We were walking in companionable silence for a few minutes, until we heard this thunderous noise that sounded like the massive vacuum cleaner that Grandpa has in his shed.

"IT'S THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!" I screamed, turning into my ninja mode, before locating where the sound came from. It was Emily snoring.

"Gotta love that girl." I muttered. Scorpius looked over to me in half- amusement, half- concern.

"Did you and her have an argument?" He asked.

"No, I'm just sick of saving her ass out of all the situations she gets herself in when she gets drunk. Remember the Christmas party? And the Easter party, and-"

"New Years Day." We both groaned simultaneously.

"She's too young for all this." Scorpius murmured possessively, like an older brother towards a younger sister.

I nodded mutely before the silence resumed between us.

Except for Emily snoring.

She sounded like a hippogriff sneezing.

Repeatedly.

"So Lil, there was something I've been meaning to ask you. I know that this probably isn't the right time or anything, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime. You know, for like dinner? Or just food, you know, food is good. Do you like pasta? I like pasta. Pasta with tomatoes and olives and tea-"He rambled nervously

"Okay Scorp, I get it. Wait what, you like pasta with tea?" I said.

"OMG LIL IT'S SO GOOD. SOUNDS WEIRD YEAH? IT'S LIKE EATING HEAVEN IN A SOUPY-PASTA-Y WIBBLEY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY THINGS AND OH GOODNESS."

Wibbley wobbly timey what?

I'm lost.

Jokes Hogwarts is right ahead! We're nearly at the front gates now.

Scorpius is still babbling but I've zoned out. "Once I ate a whole table full! I was so fat the next day... so Lil, is that a yes to dinner? Or lunch? Or food? Tomorrow?"

"Mmhhmm. Sure. Yep. " I say the whole time he is talking, not really listening. "YES!" I scream, thinking of the mint humbugs that will be at dinner.

"AWESOME! Aw yeah Scorp, you're the man!" He said.

Wait, what? What just happened?

Oh Merlin. TELL ME I DID NOT JUST AGREE TO GO OUT WITH SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY! GIVE ME I TIME TURNER NOW! PRETTY PLEASE WITH TREACLE ON TOP?

I plastered on a fake, frozen smile and sped up to get to the common room.

I sprint faster than a broomstick towards the doors and scream "BASILISK!" at the door.

Scorpius follows after me, with Emily still dead to the world. "You alright, Lil?" He looked at me worriedly, like I'd grown a third eye.

Guys that only happened once, and IT WAS ALL JAMES' FAULT, OKAY? Can we please get over the whole Lily's-a-freaky-seer-woman-or-something-with-a-third-eye shenanigan? It was a whole 6 months ago, okay?

"Fine," I grin at him. "Just want to go to sleep."

"Okay, see you tomorrow!" He grins at me happily.

He passes me back Em, who I put an arm around and half carry up the stairs to our dorm.

Its lucky Emily's a midget, if she was any heavier my weakling arms wouldn't be able to heave her up a million trillion stairs. When we get to our dorm it's around six o'clock, and I could eat a hippogriff. Or three. I drop Emily onto her bed, and then flop onto my own, replaying the day in my mind. I seriously can't believe that Scorpius would have the nerve to ask me out! I can't believe I was stupid enough to say yes accidentally!

What am I supposed to tell everyone?

Oh. My. Gosh.

What am I supposed to tell Emily?

Emily is going to murder me when she finds out I have a date with her crush!

Oh Merlin, what did I do to deserve this?

Apart from being clueless enough to accidentally say yes. But I don't want to break his heart and bail. I'll just go once, and make it clear that I don't want anything to come out of it. I just want to be friends.

Yes.

I'll do that. But what about Emily? I was in the middle of an almost-panic-attack about what to do when Andy walks in. YES. THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO. COMPLAIN TO ANDY.

AWESOME.

"Andy-oh-my-goodness-please-help-me-i-made-the-biggest-mistake-ever!" I said in about two milliseconds. Yep, that's my redeeming quality, talking super fast. Andy takes off her scarf and plopped down on the floor in front of me.

"What did you do this time?" She sighed.

Great, just the vote of confidence I wanted.

"Well, Scorpius asked me out and I kind of accidentally said yes what is Emily going to say and then on top of that Emily got really drunk or high or I don't know and we saw my brother hitting on MADAM BLOODY ROSMERTA and she goes off taking the mickey out of him and then I hate *had to use my sumo skills and then WHAT THE HECK IS SHE GOING TO SAY ABOUT ME AND SCORP GOING ON A DATE I DONT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT BUT I DONT WANT TO LEAD HIM ON AND AAAAANDYY WHAT DO I DO and I'm really hungry!"

Andy got up, rummaged through her bag and got out a bag of fizzing whizbees. They're no humbugs, but they're still sooooooo good. "Okay, so you stuffed up, Emily stuffed up, and your brother likes an ancient bartender."

"Great."

"But there's nothing you can do. She'll be fine eventually, don't worry about it. Just talk to Scorp and make sure he knows you're just going as friends and your brother and you have never gotten on anyway so there's not much you can do. Just let Emily sleep it off and let's get dinner."

"BUT SCORPIUS WILL BE DOWN THERE!" I whined.

"Fine. I'll get you some food, be back in five. You owe me your life savings, Lily Luna Potter." She joked.

"You can have two knuts, as a token of my love for you, dear Andrea." I said dramatically, kneeling with two bronze coins in my hand.

After a delicious meal in our dorm, Andrea left to go back to the common room. I lay back on my bed, less hungry and a little bit less worried about what tomorrow might bring.

"Good morning, sleepy head!" Amber sung, opening the curtains in our room.

"Go away." I murmured, throwing a pillow at her face.

"Well, morning isn't really the right word for it. Good mid-afternoon is better. Its two o'clock in the afternoon, sweetie. GET UP!"

Let's just say I'm not renowned for any early rising habits.

"Getting up, I'm getting up." I rolled of my bed and onto the floor.

Emily came over and helped me up, still in yesterday's clothes and makeup smudged all over her face.

"What happened last night, Lil?"All I remember is this weird dream where we were at the Three Broomsticks and you and your brother- oh."

She stopped when she saw the look on my face.

"Wait, that actually happened? Scorpius actually picked me up? Oh Merlin, he must love me!" She swooned.

"Em, stop."

"Sorry, Lil. I'm so sorry for yesterday. I should've, ya know, been more responsible and all that jazz and probably not said that stuff about your brother. Thanks for saving my butt yesterday. I owe you one, again." She looked at me hopefully.

I said nothing.

"You're not mad, are you?"

"Em, there's something I need to tell you." I told her my story, about how she fell asleep and what Scorpius had asked me.

Number of times I got interrupted by Emily: eighteen.

"Oh Merlin, Scorpius heard me snore? MY LIFE IS OVER! I AM NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN! I hope none of our kids snore when were older, Scorpius Junior will have impeccable non-snoring habits I hope."

"EMILY. I AM GOING ON A DATE WITH HIM TONIGHT. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"Wait, what? YOU SAID YES?"

"It was an accident! I'm really sorry; you know I don't like him that way! I wasn't listening to what he said, and I just agreed without thinking! I am so sorry Em!"

"Oh, you're sorry? Oh okay, that just makes everything better, right?" She stormed out furiously.

Oh Merlin.

Amber walked out from the bathroom. "You did what, Lil? You know she likes him. She's liked him for years." She said, accusingly.

"I know that, Amber, me and Scorp are just friends. Trust me."

Amber gave me a sceptical look before leaving. What is going on here? Andy was so wrong about everything. It was silent, just me and the birds when Andy's cat Nala came and wrapped herself around my ankles, purring.

"It's just you and me right now, Nala." I said to the cat.

My stomach interrupted the silence with its rumbling. "Okay okay," I grumbled. I found my and Em's stash of chocolate frogs under her bed. Best breakfast ever!

Not wanting to go to classes today, I fell back on my bed and went to sleep again, my dreams all revolving around a certain date with a certain person, and another certain person hating me.

Everyone says being a Potter makes things easy.

Yeah, I wish.

A/N: I know we don't deserve reviews after such a long break, but reviews get us more motivated and we will update faster, so please be nice and leave us one! ... Or two if you're feeling generous!