Stewie, Brian, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion walked into the Wizards throne room. "I'm too scared. Maybe we should turn around. The Real Housewives of the Land of Odds is on!" Stewie glared at the Lion and said, "You watch that piece of crap? And I thought I was retarded." The Scarecrow comforted the Lion and said, "Let's just see the Wizard of Odds and see what happens." There was an echoing noise from the room. "Come in!" the powerful voice said. "I don't bite!"
The Wizard was huge! Smoke appeared on the sides of the big face of the wizard. "What brings you here today?" he asked as smoke covered most of his face.
Brian and Stewie stepped forward. Brian cleared his throat and said, "I'm Brian and this is Stewie. We're hoping to go home!" The Wizard nodded and said, "Home. I used to have a home. Some Christians burned down my home. Damn them all. Step back." Brian and Stewie stepped back.
The scarecrow stepped forward and said, "Mr. Wizard, I was hoping for a brain." The Wizard snarled and yelled, "IF IT'S A BRAIN YOU WANT YOU HAS TO EARN IT!" Powerful smoke once again covered his face. The Scarecrow stumbled back with the others.
The Tin Man shook as he walked towards the wizard. He stopped. "Mr. Wizard, I was minding my own business and I was hoping you'd give me a heart." The flames soared near the Wizard. "I used to have a heart. I gave it to Lady Gaga and God she's sexy. Damn her to hell." There was an explosion of lightning that appeared over the Wizard. The Tin Man yelped and joined the others.
The Lion shook and said, "Mr. Wizard. I was wondering…" He paused. "Go on." The Wizard said. The Lion cleared his throat and started over. "I was wondering if you could…" He paused again. "WHAT IS IT?" the Wizard yelled. "He wants courage!" Stewie yelled. "Courage?" the Wizard asked.
"Yes sir." The lion whimpered.
The Lion joined the others.
The Wizard sighed and said, "In order for me to help you, I'm assigning you a dangerous task. You must get the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West." Everyone gasped.
"Oh no!" The scarecrow yelled.
"Oh no!" the Tin Man yelled.
"Oh no!" the Lion yelled.
"Oh no!" Brian and Stewie yelled.
"Oh yeah!" the Kool Aid guy yelled as he crashed through the wall. "My wall!" the Wizard yelled. The Kool Aid guy gasped and ran away.
The Lion shivered and said, "Come on guys. Let's get out of here. We'll try Oprah. She knows what to do."
"Not so fast." Brian said. "I've seen this movie before. We need a bucket of water and pour it on the witch!" Stewie rolled his eyes and said, "You bastard! You're crazy." The Tin Man smiled and said, "Lets do this!"
Once outside of the Wizards palace, they began to look for the Wicked Witch of the West. Meanwhile in his lair, he snickered. He walked over to some cages and said, "Listen up cast of The View I want those red slippers!" The View cast glanced at each other. "Hell no!" they shouted together.
The Wicked Witch of the West walked to the next cage. It was Jack Bauer from the show 24. "Okay Mr. Bauer. Get those ruby slippers." The Wicked Witch demanded. "It'll be an honor." Jack Bauer said.
Meanwhile as the gang was in the forest something didn't seem right. "Where could he be?" the Scarecrow pondered. The Lion shook and said, "Maybe I'll just stay here and you guys go without me." Stewie rolled his eyes and said, "You really need to get laid big time!"
Jack Bauer appeared from the bushes and pulled out his gun. "Jack Bauer? What are you doing here?" Brian asked.
"My name is Jack Bauer, former FBI agent from a crappy series by the name of 24. You sent hate mail to FOX every month saying how much you hate the show and how pointless I am because I stay up all night protecting America. Prepare to die." Jack said.
Stewie fired his laser gun at Jack Bauer and he died. The Wicked Witch of the West appeared and cackled evilly. "You have defeated my bodyguard! But if you want my broom stick you'll have to go through me!"
"What do we do?" the scarecrow asked.
Brian bent down on all four legs and peed on the witch.
"What the hell is that smell?" the witch asked as he started to melt. "NOOO! I'M MELTING!" All of a sudden there was a big puddle of the witch.