Hello again! Sorry it took me so long to get this one up, I'm writing two stories at once! D:

OneSizeFitsAll: Still, thank you! Rohan? Neat, personally, I would pick Gondor.

Mirlasse: Thank you for those stellar ideas! :DD

LaughingLadybug: Yay! I'm so happy you're excited about the update!

When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find that I wasn't tied to my bed. I wasn't painted silver. The door was closed...all the way. And, though I looked very carefully, I couldn't see any trip cords strung across the room.

A feeling of deep foreboding filled me as I climbed gingerly out of bed.

What had happened to Faramir? Surely he hadn't given up his evil ways?

I cautiously made my way across the room to the bathroom and picked up my toothbrush before staring, asphyxiated, at my reflection in the mirror.

"My. HAIR!" I screamed, the sound bringing Eowyn running from the kitchen, more out of curiosity to see what new trick my namesake had pulled this time than out of concern for her beloved husband.

She stopped short at the bathroom door and gasped.

My gorgeous brunette locks were gone, leaving only a tousled, raggedly cut, tangled mat on top of my head.

"Your. Hair!" she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand and staggering down onto a stool.

"I KNOW!" I screamed some more, running my hands frantically through it, I couldn't actually believe it.

Eowyn just stared, open mouthed for a few moments.

I think she was trying to get used to me.

Then she started snickering, then giggling, then outright laughing!

She wouldn't be laughing if it was her hair that got cut off!

I growled menacingly as I grabbed a green cloak and hood from the hook in our room and began befitting myself in Ranger garb.

"What're you doing?" Eowyn asked with mild interest as she turned off the electric toothbrush I had left running.

"I'm leaving."

Eowyn looked up, startled.

I pulled the hood down low over my face, hoping nobody would be able to see my lack of hair.

"Whatever could you mean?" She said, getting a little worried.

"I will come back when those Hobbits are gone, and my hair has returned.

Until then, I will be in the woods with this green hood pulled over my face."

"Now Faramir! You can't really mean that?"

"I do, Eowyn." I pulled on my boots and headed for the door.

"May I say what I think about my husband hiding in the (dirty)woods, wearing a (dirty)green hood?"

I shook my head and continued pushing on towards the front door.

And so, poor Eowyn had to stand in the doorway and wave merrily to me(it was all forced, definitely all forced)as I prepared to saunter away towards the woods.

And then it happened.

There was a whoosh, and then a crash.

"Aunt Ivriniel's beloved Gondorian vase!" Eowyn screeched, as I tried to collect my thoughts.

I was lying in a pile of shattered vase.

"What's he trying to do, murder me!" I yelled hoarsely(my yell/scream was almost used up, I had been using it a lot lately)as Eowyn ran around in circles wringing her hands lamenting the loss of our precious vase, and all the sentimental attachment, and the little hand-painted flowers and, oh, you get the idea...

And then she noticed me(for the first time)sprawled on the ground with a broken Gondorian vase on top of me.

"Faramir! Are you hurt?!" She cried, rushing over to me.

The next day found me in bed, recovering.

"We could just send them away..." Eowyn mused, handing me a new ice-pack for my head.

"No! We couldn't do that! We need to teach them a lesson, and then send them away."

Eowyn nodded seriously as she stared regretfully at the place the vase had once sat.

"How are we going to do it?"

I had not thought about technicalities like that yet.

I thought hard for a few minutes

Eowyn fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I know! Let's move around all the furniture in the house! It would confuse them."

"Let's try it once you recover." Eowyn decided, before leaving me to make those nasties some breakfast.

"Move it up! Further!" I hissed in a whisper as we moved all furniture(and rooms for that matter)around.

It was midnight.

It was pitch dark.

Eowyn and I struggled to move an enormous couch into the kitchen.

We moved the dining room into the hallway, the hallway into the bathroom, the the bathroom into the dining room.

We moved the study to the bedroom, the bedroom to the balcony(a move we deeply regretted when it started to rain); we moved the coat closet to the kitchen, and the kitchen to the coat closet.

If it hadn't been dark(I nearly killed myself several times)it might have been rather fun.

"Now," I whispered as we snuck back into our chambers as dawn slowly broke.

"act like nothing is different. Drive them out of their minds!" I whispered evilly as we slipped into bed(and got heavily rained on).

"Good morning, Meriadoc." I said jovially as I sat down for breakfast in the Dining room in the Hallway.

Merry looked surprised and confused.

"Faramir, is it just me-"

"It's just you." I interrupted quickly as I dished up Merry's plate.

Merry's eyes widened.

"But wasn't-"

"Nope."

Merry coughed loudly and as he gazed wide-eyed at his surroundings.

"WHAT!?" Pippin screeched in confusion as he walked into where the dining room should be, but found the bathroom instead.

"Pippin? The dining room is in here you silly Hobbit!" Eowyn sang pleasantly as she guided the stumbling Peregrin to breakfast.

"What? Wha? Merry?" Pippin squeaked as he stuffed a spoonful of strawberries into his mouth.

About fifteen minutes later little Faramir sunk into a chair.

I smiled secretly as I observed the beginnings of a black eye.

That was what that crash was. I thought happily as I gleefully imagined little Faramir tripping, disgruntled, over the toilet and face-planting into the side of the bath.

"Whawt hawppened?" He mumbled, trying to get comfortable in the small hallway that was now the dining room.

"Nothing my dear Faramir. This is the way it's always been of course. Pass the catsup Eowyn darling." I smiled warmly at my nemesis, trying my hardest to look innocent.

The Hobbits all looked confused and worried as they tried hard to stop staring about them and start eating.

When I rose to go read a book in a study, Eowyn passed me a triumphant glance over the Hobbits' heads and I smiled to myself.

Victory at last!

After getting lost twice, I finally found my way to my study(which used to be my bedroom).

I swung open the door blissfully before stopping, staring, in horror at the sight before me.

My. Study. Was. Torn. Apart.

Oh no! What will happen next? While you wait for the next chapter, make sure to check out my other stories, especially 'A Ranger of the woods', and please review so that I may post the next chapter of that story!

Please review, and give me ideas for chapters to come!

Question of the day:

Who do you like better? Book-Faramir, or Movie-Faramir?

Why?

Special thanks to Mirlasse and OneSizeFitsAll for the ideas for this chapter!

Special thanks to OneSizeFitsAll for the dialogue of the 'Faramir's hair is gone' scene. ^.^