Note: As usual, the harshest curse words/"naughty words" have been bleeped out (mainly the F-word, which is a word I went overboard with for Part 3, though mainly attributed to Cara's personality), since this is the PG-13/TV-14 version. The uncensored version is at LiveJournal under the same title/same user name.
IIII
Another week passes with Cara and Kahlan barely talking to each other. But during that time, Kahlan manages to win over Cara's friends. Adam, Nathan and Tanner start to speak fondly of the brunette, whenever she smiles their way, whenever she offers them treats — candy, cookies, etc. — and whenever she comments on how good-looking they are.
"Maybe she isn't psycho after all," "She sure seems fine to me," "Has she ever dressed like you aside from the occasional white T-Shirt and tank top?" the men have all commented to Cara.
Cara believes Kahlan is doing this on purpose — winning her friends over in order to win her over. And she certainly doesn't believe Kahlan has a true interest in this David Rictor fellow she's been dating for the past week. Kahlan has made it quite clear that she's not especially attracted to men, that it would take 'a special man' to catch her eye. And yet she's dating him? To Cara, Kahlan was either lying about her preferences, or she's just trying to appear as 'normal' as possible. Because if Kahlan is not obsessed with Cara and is instead consumed with lovey-dovey thoughts of 'David,' then how can she possibly fit into the "Single White Female" brand of crazy?
David isn't that special from what Cara can see. Other than the fact that he looks just like her. Seriously, his bright blond, shoulder-length hair and piercing green eyes might as well have been stolen from Cara. "Damn clone," she mutters under her breath in Nathan's backyard.
It's a bright day, and Nathan has invited a select group of friends over for a barbecue. There's barbecue chicken, barbecue ribs, barbecue steak, barbecue pork chops, and even barbecue hot dogs. The main courses only serve to remind Cara that Kahlan is a vegetarian, something she'd just find out last week, after the spaghetti incident. The woman's dietary choices really should have dawned on her that night they'd sat on the hill, where just minutes before...Kahlan had ordered a vegetarian sub. And the spaghetti the brunette had butchered? Cara hadn't noticed until afterward that it didn't consist of meat. Even now, Kahlan sits munching on some chips, smiling up at David every once in awhile.
Inevitably, Cara's thoughts turn back to her evening on the couch with Kahlan, where the other woman had divulged intimate details about her sex life and coaxed Cara to do the same. Kahlan's suggestion that they kiss to "loosen her up," "make her more intimate," "more receptive" made about as much sense as f**king her would have.
While Cara can see a bit of logic in how kissing Kahlan would desensitize the repugnant feelings she has for individuals of the 'freckled persuasion,' it's still mostly idiotic. And so was Kahlan saying that it wasn't about attraction. Cara distinctly recalls noticing the woman looking at her with hooded eyes and hitched breath. If Kahlan's not attracted to her, then why the reactions? All just to get a rise out of me?
The feelings that had raced through Cara when Kahlan spoke of having sex with others had been odd. Almost like losing a game. It was a painful, gut-wrenching feeling. And Cara convinces herself that focusing on Dahlia and Leo will help take that feeling away.
"This game isn't as easy as it looks, hun," Kahlan's date, David, leans over the chess board.
Cara wants to roll her eyes. Obviously, not all aspiring astronomers are geniuses, she smirks.
Cara and Kahlan are sitting opposite each other playing a game of chess; it's something the two discovered they have in common just two days ago. Cara was taught the game by watching various chess games on television and through videos while growing up; Kahlan was taught by her father.
Adam stands in the middle commentating, as though it's a professional match. He knows the game just as well as they do, and seems to breathe it, "I almost jumped when I saw the Knight sac on move 5 in the corner, but wasn't as excited when I saw it was 'just' a KG," he says, gulping down some beer.
Cara is white; Kahlan is black. Cara makes another move.
"You see? Before that, Cara sacrificed a knight on the fifth move. She's still down material, but has central control, piece development and some momentum," Adam carries on.
Beside Cara, Leo squeezes her shoulder in support. "You can do it, babe," he says. He's here at the party because not only had Cara realized she'd been neglecting him in favor of Dahlia, but there was no way she was going to let Kahlan bring a date without her bringing one too.
Kahlan makes another move, but Cara appears conflicted. "Stumped?" her voice cuts into Cara's thoughts.
Cara can hear David snickering and wants to throw him into the pool a little ways away. "I'm fine," she says. "You're the one about to lose."
"Kahlan's not going to lose!" David exclaims, his blond hair swinging as his head shakes disapproval. "I'm sure she's more advanced at the game than you are!"
Cara eyes the man with her most intimidating death glare yet. But seeing the green of his eyes, she's reminded of what a clone he really is. Why the f**k is Kahlan with this guy? Because he looks like me?
More moves are made.
"Ouch!," Adam yells. "Cara made a critical mistake on the ninth move by pushing the e pawn prematurely. She should have made a rook move or castled long instead. Looks like Kahlan has taken over."
Kahlan's features contort, as she watches Cara stare down David. She figures people don't usually battle Cara, game or otherwise, without getting one hell of a fight in return. "David," she placates her date with a soft touch to his hand. "Cara has just as much experience playing chess as I do, and she's very smart. Smarter at a lot of things."
Cara's eyes meet Kahlan's in intensity. "Kahlan, you don't have to defend me. You are a goddamn genius, okay? A very alluring one, but a genius nevertheless." She looks to the board before glancing back up at Kahlan. "So maybe your date has a point."
David at first looks vindicated, but when Cara's choice of words sink in — "very alluring" — his features become unsettled.
The words don't go unnoticed by Leo either, who just squeezes Cara's shoulder tighter.
Kahlan just stares. She looks into Cara's eyes, but is unable to read anything there. Needless to say, she never expected Cara to so openly acknowledge anything positive about her. So now that the blonde has, what does it mean?
"Cara…" she says quietly, amazed and touched.
Cara grins, never breaking eye contact with the brunette.
Abruptly, David caresses Kahlan's arms, exchanging a concerned look with Leo. "The game, you two?" his tone is directed at the women.
Kahlan hates to admit it, because it signals just how little her date means to her, but she is annoyed by the interruption. She pries his hands away as gently as possible, and seeks out Cara's gaze again. But the other woman is focused back on the board, fingers drumming against the table.
Several minutes later, the game is over and Adam is summarizing the match. "Kahlan's fifteenth move was a mistake. She removed the blockade of the e pawn by the bishop. Cara immediately pushed the e pawn to free up the position and resume the attack. Then she sacrificed a rook on the next move, but Kahlan didn't take it. Finally, Cara sacked the queen, which led to some great tactics. She ended up with the bishop pair and an extra pawn against the rook. Kahlan was beat and resigned a few moves later. So even after sacrificing a knight on the fifth move of the game, making a critical mistake on the ninth move by pushing the e pawn prematurely, and failing to make a rook move or castled long instead, Cara persevered for an impressive comeback victory."
Kahlan couldn't care less for the stats. Her gaze is on her opponent, and has been for most of the match. "Cara, let's try out the pool," she says.
Cara gives a startled look. She'd been focused on the board. With the way they're skilled at the game, it could have lasted for hours, really.
"Yes, let's go to the pool." David agrees.
Kahlan gives the man an apologetic look before turning back to the blond. "I mean Cara and I."
"What?" David looks round-kicked.
"Cara and I need to talk alone. Girl time, you know?" She turns to stare up at David. "But of course...I'll be eager to get back to you."
David grins. "Well, then...let us guys let you women have your girl time. Anything, if it means we get you to ourselves afterward."
Cara's jaw clenches.
Leo kneels to her side. "You should go. David and I'll be fine, and it'll give us a chance to get to know each other." His eyes scan over the small get-together. "But beware," he looks off toward the pool, "certain male inhabitants."
Cara looks past Kahlan to see two men lounging in the pool with what appears to be girlfriends, or 'just dates.'
"So, Cara, you up for it?" Kahlan is already putting up her chess pieces. "I brought us bathing suits just in case."
Leo and David make appreciative faces.
"Well, swimming trunks and a top for you," Kahlan nods. "I know how you butch women are." A sly smile pulls across her lips.
Cara sniffs. Kahlan knows how much she hates being called 'butch,' but Cara will not take the wench's bait.
"Hey." Leo grabs a chip from the table. "My girl is not butch." His gaze drags along Cara's plaid shirt, the tie and slacks, and feels he may have to reconsider that. That Cara is in such warm clothing while everyone else is in tops and shorts or bikinis is suspect enough.
"Fine," Cara's eyes narrow. "Let's get in the pool."
"Should we change together?" Kahlan offers, putting away the last pieces of the board game.
"No!" Cara is quick with the answer. "I like my privacy."
Kahlan's not quite sure she believes that. Modesty doesn't exactly radiate from Cara, but... "If that's how you want it..."
"It is."
"Okay," grins Kahlan. "We should get changed then. One of us first maybe?"
"Nathan has two bathrooms," Cara waves her off. "But since one's in his bedroom, and he doesn't like anyone but random women in there..." Cara stands, looking to the table and then back to Kahlan. "Can I trust you with my beer?"
"Whaa?"
Cara cocks her head. "You like to drink behind me. I'm asking if you'll be doing that this time."
Kahlan blushes. She'd almost forgotten that she'd recently made a habit of drinking behind Cara. They haven't been talking much, and so whenever Cara leaves a half-filled beverage on the kitchen table, Kahlan often finishes the rest before washing the dishes, not even attempting to ask Cara if she was done with it.
"No, I'll leave your drink to you this time," Kahlan smiles.
"This time?" David scrunches his nose. "You do realize, Kahlan, that drinking behind someone is unsanitary... What was it you told me the other day? That it's like kissing the person, except dirtier?"
Leo eyes the brunette, and Kahlan's blush couldn't possibly get any deeper. She slips down further into her chair in a clumsy effort to distract from her reddening face. "I don't remember saying I think of it like that."
Cara's eyes are glowing with amusement. "Of course not, Kahlan. You're not that weird, I hope."
Kahlan frowns. Cara is deliberately teasing her. Before she can respond, the blond is walking away with Leo in arm.
"Kahlan?" David queries.
"Yes?" her voice sounds lost, unused.
"Is it me or do you and this Cara woman have a peculiar relationship?"
Kahlan swears she may pass out from embarrassment. "Well, as you know, we do live together, but only because I'm trying to better her. It doesn't get more peculiar than that."
IIII
Cara changes in the downstairs bathroom. After finding the clothing Kahlan gathered for her, she was off and changing in no time, Leo waiting outside the door.
Cara?" he taps against the wood.
"Yeah," she pulls a sports bra on before throwing on a T-shirt.
"Is there anything going on between you and Kahlan?"
"What?"
"You know, sexually."
"You sound paranoid, Leo," Cara smacks her teeth, trying to emphasize the ridiculousness of the statement.
"C'omn, Cara. You seriously expect me to believe you moved her in your home so that she could 'make you a better person' or whatever other nonsense?"
"No," Cara opens the door. "I expect you to believe that I couldn't pass up a dare," she pulls him into the room, shutting the door behind them. "You of all people should know that."
Leo frowns.
Cara sighs. "This dare was most insulting."
"But -"
"- But," she smiles provocatively, "don't you remember last week? I kinda thought that was insulting too." Her arms go around his neck.
Leo looks over Cara's swim trunks and shirt appreciatively. The woman's sports bar is visible through the fabric, and the very sight touches him to the core. "How could I not?" His arms go around her waist. "Trying to 'assist a man' in public? It isn't something he easily forgets."
Cara giggles into his his neck. "Assist? You can't even say 'handj*b,' you dork?"
Leo blushes, directing his gaze to the wall.
Cara laughs. "It's okay." She takes his face into her hands.
"Sorry," he says, "that I didn't let you get into the act." His features match his apologetic tone.
"We still have plenty of time left for that."
"I just don't want us to feel as though we have to rush into anything."
Cara kisses him then and his eyes flutter closed. "We already rushed into dating, didn't we? I think sex is the next logical step." She licks at his throat.
Leo can't help the involuntary shiver that results.
"But we can wait until you think the time is right." She kisses him again.
IIII
"Look at me, Kahlan," David's voice intensifies.
Kahlan's lips stretch thin and she turns to meet David's gaze. "What is it?"
"Do you honestly want to date me? Is that why I'm here? Or is it..." His green eyes are soft, vulnerable.
What can she say that won't make her seem like a horrible person? That her true interest is Cara, and that she's only dating someone else because of availability? That dating David might make Cara jealous enough to want her?
"I obviously like you, David," she smiles. "There's no reason not to."
He grabs Cara's seat, pulls it closer and sits so that he's face to face with her. "Is that so? And what do you like about me?"
Straight men and their insecurities, Kahlan nearly curses under her breath. They can be as sensitive as women sometimes. "You're very nice, David. And you're handsome, and - "
David kisses her without warning, and though his tongue is warm and gentle against her own, the experience is nowhere close to the level of excitement she felt when forcing a kiss on Cara. His lips are thinner, rougher. While Cara's are fuller...softer...wetter. Just the thought of that sends a sudden flood of arousal throughout Kahlan's body.
But a movement in her peripheral vision suddenly catches her attention, and she glances to see that it's Cara staring at her.
"Oh!" She yanks away from David as fast as possible.
"What's wrong?" his brow furrows.
Cara returns to the table, with Leo at her side, and the expression on her face is, as usual, unreadable.
"Nothing," Kahlan smiles up at Cara.
But David's gaze is also on the blond woman, and he is not stupid. Kahlan stopped kissing him as soon as that bitch returned.
"Excuse the intrusion," Cara stares.
All types of awkwardness pass over the group.
IIII
Kahlan hugs Cara close for what has to be the third time since they've been in the pool. But this time, she whispers into her ear. "He kissed me," she says. "It's not like I kissed him."
Why are you explaining yourself to me? Cara wants to whisper back, but remains silent. Besides, she's far too distracted by the press of Kahlan's flesh against her back. The brunette has on a stunning red bikini, and Cara's minds goes back to Dahlia also wearing red the night they first had sex.
"Cara! Live a little!" Leo shouts some feet away standing beside David.
"What he said," Nathan stands in the pool sandwiched between a buxom blonde and Adam. Tanner couldn't make it to the cookout, and so Nathan is determined that not another person 'miss out on the fun.' His gaze settles on the way Kahlan's arms are wrapped around Cara's shoulders.
"Cara's fine, Nathan," Kahlan smiles innocently at him. "How about you? Need your daily cigar? Or is it a cigarette these days? I just can't keep up with all the chain smoking."
"Stop giving me a hard time, Kahlan," Nathan flicks some water at her. "I know smoking is f**king bad for me. I get it. You don't need to preach every damn time."
"If you say so," she smirks.
"And, anyway, what are you doing all over Cara? Didn't you bring a date? Your boyfriend over there?" he nods behind him.
Kahlan feels Cara's shoulders tense under her arms. "He's not my boyfriend. We're just dating." Her eyes venture over to where he is watching her intensely. "As for Cara here," she says, hugging Cara just a little bit closer, gaze settling on the woman's pulse point, "I should be doing this. It's my duty to make sure Cara's less uneasy about us freckled-faced folk."
Nathan narrows his eyes; Kahlan splashes him with water in turn; Adam shakes his head.
IIII
"Think we're being used?" Leo nods at the sight of Kahlan tightly embracing Cara.
"Seems like," David folds his arms across his chest. "Kahlan told she was into women, but..."
"...Cara doesn't seem to be her type?" Leo supplies.
"Exactly." His gaze settles on his own chest, "But what does that say about me? It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that we look alike... Me and Cara."
"Good point," Leo briefly observes.
"Still... If my still being here is any indication, I don't plan on letting Kahlan go any time soon. Not without a fight."
"Ditto for me and Cara," Leo nods.
IIII
"If you must know, Nathan, Cara and I were supposed to be having a private talk. But then you boys - "
"- I never can pass up a chance at seeing Cara in swim trunks," Adam laughs. "What's wrong, Car? No bathing suit manly enough?"
Cara scowls.
Nathan waves a hand. "There, there. We both know you're all woman. It's just...you could make an effort to femme it up every now and then. And by that, I don't mean the the occasional androgynous bit."
"F**k off," Cara scoffs.
She's about to leave, when — as though confiding some dirty little secret — Kahlan speaks into her ear, "I happen to think they fit you nicely. I mean, I can see that your ass is firm and everything."
Kahlan feels Cara shiver slightly, and she almost laughs. She lies her face against the side of the blonde's neck, yawning. "I guess the boys can come over. Our dates, I mean." Her lips move against Cara's neck.
Cara's not bothered by this closeness. Not at all, she tells herself. It's just Kahlan. Freckled-faced, annoying Kahlan. Trying to get a rise out of her. This is a test, and the only reason Cara has yet to remove herself from Kahlan's orbit is because it is a test she intends to pass.
Nathan moves to pull them apart. "If your boyfriends can come over now, then you might want to stop this."
"Why?" pouts Kahlan. "It's very innocent and Cara's warm to the touch," she tightens her arms around her.
"I'm sure she is," Adam grins.
"Hey, guys," Nathan calls out over his shoulder in the direction of Leo and David. "The girls said you can come over now."
In lightning speed, they are in the pool, pulling their respective ladies to them.
Cara and Kahlan hold eye contact.
IIII
Nathan watches Kahlan and David some distance away preparing to go, Cara watching beside him. Leo is inside getting some food for the road, and Nathan is worried about his friend. She currently sports a hard-core blush to her face, and seems entranced. "You'd better be careful, Cara." He rubs at the blond stubble marking his chin. "If you want her, then just be with her already. Don't play this game where someone's bound to get hurt."
Cara seems to snap out of her daze, briefly glancing the man's way before focusing back on Kahlan. "I don't know what you mean."
"Sure you don't," Nathan lets out a sarcastic sigh.
"Let it go, Nathan," Adam interrupts, coming to stand beside the two. "Don't scream 'fire' where there isn't one."
"Where there isn't one?" Nathan's tempted to pop Adam on the back of the head. "Anyone with two eyes can see they're hot for each other."
"You're seeing things then," Cara shrugs. "I," she points ahead toward Kahlan, "am not hot for that."
"Oh no?" Nathan leans closer. "Then why are you eyeing her ass?"
Cara's jaw tightens.
"Okay, that's enough," Adam pulls Nathan off to the side.
Once they're finally out of Cara's earshot, he lays into his friend, "Will you back off?" he whispers.
"For what? I'm trying to be a damn friend here. What the hell are you trying to be?"
"I'm trying to be a friend, too." He looks to Cara. "Can't you see what Kahlan's game is? She's slowly working her way into Cara's heart with subtle touches and not-so-subtle touches. She knows she's an attractive woman, and Cara is not blind. If she can just get Cara to admit to their mutual attraction, then she's won. Cara no longer detests people with a few freckles on their face. They live happily ever after. The end."
"You really think it's that simple? Racist white guys date outside their 'race' all the time, and it doesn't make them any less racist."
"Yeah, but -"
"- And you really think Kahlan's trying to improve Cara as a person?"
"Well..." Adam looks ahead at Cara watching Kahlan and David hug. "Yeah, I think so."
Nathan's line of vision follows Adam's.
"But you know how stubborn Cara is," Adam smirks. "There's no way that simply telling her to be with Kahlan is going to work." He watches the blond again. "So...I say we let Kahlan handle this."
"Eh..."
"Sure, one or two people may get hurt in the process, but again...with how hard-headed Cara is...that's bound to happen anyway, right?"
Nathan looks from Adam back to his female friend and sighs. "I'm starting to worry if maybe that old lady is right."
IIII
Later, 9 p.m., Cara finds herself in Leo's home being pushed up against the wall of his living room. "I thought you said you wanted to get to know each other better." Cara pulls her tongue away from his.
"About that," he says, kissing her nose, "doesn't it feel like we already know each other? I mean, longer than just a few weeks?"
"Which..." Cara starts to unbutton his shirt "...is exactly what I've been telling you." She becomes frustrated and rips open the fabric. "But you said 'not by much,' remember?"
"About that, too..." Leo pulls Cara's shirt over her head. "Forget I said it." He lifts her, and her legs instantly wrap around his waist. And as they move to his bedroom, kissing and passionately grasping at flesh, Cara can't help but think of Shota and what she saw of the hologram that day.
IIII
When Cara and Leo are exhausted from hours of lovemaking, he interlocks his fingers with hers. "Cara?" he asks, using his free hand to swipe a lock of blond hair to the side.
"Mmmm," is her only reply.
"I want you to know that no matter any other person you're interested in, I'm going to fight for you. Until the day you tell me not to. Because I believe in this relationship."
The air in the room is suddenly sparse, and Cara focuses on the ceiling.
"I mean it," Leo adds. "Whether it's Kahlan or -"
"- I thought I told you I'm not interested in Kahlan."
"I'm just speaking in general." Leo smiles. "Example only," he shrugs.
Cara peeps at him from the corners of her eyes, indicating that she doesn't quite believe that, but focuses back on the ceiling.
Leo snuggles closer. "What are you thinking?"
Cara laughs, "I thought the woman is supposed to ask that."
"Then ask it." Leo stretches back with a grin, placing his arms under his head.
Cara bumps his shoulder playfully. "If you must know, I was thinking of how well-endowed you are. It's been some time since I had a man that big in -," she catches herself, realizing that Starvos was just as 'blessed' in that part of his anatomy.
Her heart jumps, and her mind floods with memories. All this time, she has been completely shutting out her feelings for Starvos, immediately flirting and becoming intimate with others as though he never existed.
I suck, she closes her eyes and fights back the tears threatening to build there.
"There is someone else," she turns to Leo. "But it's not Kahlan."
"Who?" Leo sits up again, just as much interest as there is concern marking his features.
And Cara tells him of Tony Starvos — the man she made love to nearly every night, the man she joked with, celebrated with, the man she told intimate details to, the man she adored.
And she tells him of Dahlia.
IIII
Kahlan exits the car and grins to herself in the dimly lit area. She hasn't seen Cara since yesterday's barbecue, and the blonde just called her two hours ago, inviting her to dinner. Kahlan can only consider the offer 'peculiar,' considering that Cara hasn't exactly made her distaste for Kahlan secret.
It's not a restaurant Kahlan is familiar with, but then again...she's not familiar with any restaurant in New York...except for the various fast food chains found all over any American city.
Kahlan is excited, there's no way around that. Just the thought that her antics during their time in the pool may have had a profound effect on Cara has her practically skipping to the restaurant door. After all, there's definitely reason enough to believe that it was a 'good effect.'
Looking down at what she hopes is an elegant blue dress fitting of her designer gray stilettos, she runs a hand through her wavy locks and stands straight.
What's that saying? It's now or never?
As she enters and searches for Cara, she immediately spots her and starts to call out, but just as quickly halts in place. Next to Cara is a slender, attractive light-haired woman. That must be Dahlia, she thinks. Either that, or Cara is enjoying the company of yet another suitor. The other woman and Cara are apparently engaged in stimulating conversation. If Kahlan were to call out right now, Cara would barely notice, she concludes.
The blonde is wearing a nice pant suit with high heels, while her date shines in a simple black dinner dress and matching flats.
But Kahlan is no coward, and so she resolves to face this head-on. Taking in a deep breath, she heads for the table.
Cara sees her instantly, standing with a sparkle in her eyes. "Kahlan... You came." She at first appears stunned, but a smile soon overtakes her features. A smile Kahlan is blinded by. "I want you to meet Dahlia," she gestures toward the seated woman. "I figured...since people seem to believe that you and I are an item...that it's best we clear things up."
Cara means it. After introducing Leo and Dahlia to each other earlier today, she knew she had to do the same with Dahlia and Kahlan. Leo and Dahlia had taken to each other quite well. As as well as could be expected under such circumstances, even going so far as to joke about who is better suited for Cara. But while Dahlia feigned acceptance of Cara dating multiple people, Cara could tell that the other woman was hurt by it. After all, it was Cara who had said she could see herself spending the rest of her life with Dahlia. So for her to say that...while dating someone else? It stung Dahlia, Cara knew.
Just like she knows it's Kahlan Dahlia is worried about most.
Kahlan's jaw clenches. Caught off-guard and infuriated, she can barely look at Cara. Cara is looking from her and back to Dahlia again, as if she expects her to say, 'She's a keeper. Be happy.'
"I don't see what needs to be cleared up." Kahlan shakes her head, taking a seat when Cara pulls out one for her. "Gossip is gossip, and Cara and I are just housemates." Her lips purse. "She'd date a donkey before she'd date me."
Cara just stares. If she heard anger in Kahlan's voice just now, she's obviously chosen to ignore it. She reclaims her seat across from Dahlia. "Kahlan may have a point there," she grins. "But I think it would be best for all of us if Dahlia better understood our arrangement." Her eyes blaze into Kahlan's. "You know...your side of things."
Dahlia smirks. "It's nice to meet you, Kahlan."
Cara looks to her date, satisfied that someone has taken the initiative to move the conversation along."
"You're very beautiful," Dahlia continues. "It's difficult to believe that Cara finds you so unattractive," she takes a sip of wine, and her gaze is like a viper's peering over the glass.
Kahlan wants to strangle the woman. "You're very pretty, too," she smiles instead.
Cara coughs. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
Dahlia turns back to Cara, "So...I hear you're trying to cure Cara of her freckle-phobia?" Her hand moves affectionately across Cara's. "I have freckles on parts of my body, too. But Cara doesn't seem to mind those."
And with that, Cara groans, looking down with her free hand to her brow. I've been outed, she groans again.
Kahlan tries to hide the sting from her features. She'd asked Cara if the problem was only freckles on the face and not elsewhere on the body. And now she has her answer.
She glares Cara's way, willing the woman to notice her irritation, but soon decides she can't bear this any longer. "There you have it." She rises to her feet. "Not much more to say, really. Cara hates freckles on the face, and I offered to help 'cure' her of that." Kahlan forces a smile. "I'm not trying to steal your girlfriend, Dahlia. There'd first need to be mutual attraction for that to happen."
Kahlan doesn't wait to witness their alarmed expressions as she jets from the table and heads for the exit. She feels broken inside and can't breathe, and her heart is hammering in her ears as she makes her way to the parking lot, thoughts running rampant: There's no other way to explain it. Cara invited me here to...to humiliate me?
"Kahlan!" Cara's voice barely registers behind her.
The brunette stops, but doesn't dare turn around. "What were you expecting, asking me here, Cara?"
"I…I just thought you two should meet. And I wanted Dahlia to know there's nothing between us." Cara's tone is strained.
"Why? Doesn't she believe you when you say it to her?" Kahlan turns to the blonde then, tears streaming down her face. "Or don't you say it to her?"
Cara feels as though she's been sucker punched — to hear those words and to see Kahlan pain-stricken like this.
Now that she thinks about it, though she's told Dahlia she doesn't find Kahlan attractive, she never once told the woman that there's "nothing between them." Before she can answer, though, she sees Dahlia in her peripheral vision exiting the restaurant.
"Why are you so upset?" she settles for questioning instead.
"If you don't understand why without me telling you," Kahlan sneers, "then you really are thick-headed." She turns to stick keys into her car door.
Cara growls, "You're so damn dramatic, Kahlan. Couldn't you just meet the woman without being a complete bitch about it?"
"I was the bitch? I was?!" Kahlan spins back to the blonde, eyes going dark with something that makes Cara take a step back. "You're the one who invited me to a cozy little restaurant without clarifying, making me think it'd just be the two of us, and then -"
"- You didn't honestly think I was inviting you on a date, did you?" Cara takes a step closer. Whatever it was in Kahlan's eyes before is now gone.
"And then she was all snide and rude!" Kahlan ignores Cara's question. "Saying how unattractive you find me."
"Because it's true!" Cara fires back.
Kahlan almost slaps her then. She somehow manages to refrain, however, upturning her nose. "l'll be going now." She opens her car door with a forceful yank. "I guess that kiss we shared really was nothing."
Cara sees Dahlia finally approaching them. The woman had been standing by the doorway.
Cara feels the most helpless she's felt since the 331 fire, watching Kahlan rip out of the parking lot and seemingly out of her life.
When she finally feels the warm presence of her lover behind her, her head is bowed when she speaks. "Dahlia..."
"Save it, Cara." The light-haired woman moves in front of her. "I heard enough to formulate a well-informed opinion that there's a lot more going on between you two than you're obviously willing to admit." She starts to dig into her purse. "You brought me here to show me that I was wrong about why you could have possibly moved a strange woman into your home." She digs harder. "Seems you proved just the opposite of that."
"It's not. I don't..." Cara's eyes are having difficulty meeting Dahlia's and she's pretty sure she just may be suffering from a panic attack.
Kahlan can't be the one. She isn't. I won't let her be.
"Why else would you need to bring her here to 'confirm to me how un-attracted to her' you are?"
"I felt you two you should meet," but even as Cara says it, it sounds lame/empty to her. "I mean... I knew you had to meet," her eyes finally lock onto Dahlia's. "You sounded so insecure, and I needed you to know that she... She..."
"...She," Dahlia locates her cell phone and pulls it from her purse, "is something you need to work out." Her fingers start dialing. "I was willing to share you with Leo because I knew... Well, I knew," a lone tear runs down her cheek, "that I could win against him. But with her..."
Dahlia points in the direction Kahlan sped off in, and Cara's gaze briefly follows.
"Get back to me when you have it all figured out," Dahlia simply turns away, speaking into the phone. "Yes, I need a cab," her voice fades out as she heads back toward the restaurant.
And Cara is left facing the real possibility that Kahlan may have more than just 'charitable' interest in her.
IIII
In the morning, Cara, dressed in her firefighter attire, stops to lean against the door frame of Kahlan's bedroom. The brunette is turned on her side, away from Cara, wearing her usual bedtime-wear — a spaghetti-strap top and panties — and Cara rolls her eyes. This is going to be harder than she thought. Can't the woman ever use covers?
At least Cara knows the bitch is awake. She's always awake this time of morning — 7a.m. and "looking to scram," she always says — usually excited about some topic she'll be studying in class for the day.
Cara bites her bottom lip, thinking about Dahlia's comments from the night before: ...there's a lot more going on between you two than you're obviously willing to admit.
Though Cara had seemingly been unaware of this fact, it appears to be staring her right in the face now. She's unsure of how to broach this subject, but she knows she has to try. "I thought we should talk before leaving for our respective duties today," she starts. "About last night."
"Nothing to talk about," Kahlan drags her fingers alongside the mattress.
"Oh no?" Cara moves into the room. "People seem to think there's something going on between us, other than a teacher-student type of relationship. And with the way you acted last night, it was almost like..."
"Like what?" Kahlan rolls over to stare as the blonde approaches.
"Like they are right and you have feelings for me," Cara stops to leer over the woman.
Kahlan arches a brow. "And what about your feelings?"
"This isn't about me, Kahlan. Why'd you act like that last night?"
"Why'd you?!" Kahlan jets up into a sitting position, face turning sour. "You couldn't just let me know that I'd be meeting your girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend."
"Could have fooled me," Kahlan frowns. "You kiss her, date her, f**k her. Say she's someone you could spend the rest of your life with. Sounds like a girlfriend to me. And let's not forget your precious Leo."
"And what about you and David? You two seem pretty damn cozy. Or are you forgetting?"
Kahlan scoffs. "Kissing David is horrible. I think about you every time he does it. You two look enough alike that it couldn't hurt to try." She bursts into slightly crazed, hysterical laughter, hiding her face in her hands. "I don't know what I'm saying. What I'm even doing here anymore."
Cara is motionless and confused. A sudden urge comes over her, telling her to hold Kahlan. But she knows that would only invite misplaced affection from the other woman. Just seeing how Kahlan is acting now, it's hard to doubt that the brunette regards her romantically.
"You feel connected to me...like you've known me all your life?" Cara suddenly feels compelled to ask this, even surprising herself.
With this type of connection being the main draw between herself, Dahlia and Leo, she has to know if Kahlan feels it too. What she's felt since the day they met, but has never admitted until now.
Kahlan's mouth curves into a strange grin, though keeping the upper part of her face hidden. "Of course I do. It's the reason I insisted on taking you out to breakfast that first day, remember? The reason I couldn't just let you go. The reason I insisted you let me move in." She wipes at her face, a soft laugh escaping. "Seriously, Cara, why else would a person be so persistent on spending time with a total stranger?"
This is the exact opposite of everything Kahlan has told her about their connection. Heart thumping loudly in her chest, she cautiously takes a seat beside the woman. "And making me a better person?"
Cara reaches out to lightly rest her hand on the back of Kahlan's exposed neck. She knows that such a touch is provocative and dangerous, but she has to know everything. All of it.
Kahlan shivers. "That had something to do with it, yes...but mostly... I just... I wanted you to stop being so ridiculous so that you'd start liking me." Kahlan laughs bitterly, "But it turns out that you can like people with freckles just fine. It's when they have freckles on the face, that you freak out."
"So you did all of this - chase after me, move in with me - because you want to date me?" It sounds crazy, but Cara actually understands. Can feel the spark between them.
It's like Shota said.
Kahlan's voice is a whisper. "I just want you...around."
Cara moves her fingers in a stroking motion where they rest on Kahlan's neck. What in the hell am I doing? "And?" is all that manages to escape her lips.
Kahlan shivers again and suddenly lifts her head, showing Cara frightened and longing eyes. "I want you to..."
"You want me to what?" Cara leans closer, feeling drawn by something captivating in the brunette eyes.
Kahlan closes those eyes, lips trembling, as though she's trying to save herself from being confronted by something, or shut something out. "Cara...I want to confess everything to you, I do...but I don't think it's wise... You don't feel the same way, and it'll only make things more awkward."
Kahlan's brows are drawn down in what appears to Cara to be torment.
She's in pain…I've caused this.
"Kahlan...," Cara whispers.
Without quite realizing it, Cara finds her lips pressed to Kahlan's, her hands cupping the other woman's face reverently.
Kahlan's eyes go wide, staring into hers.
Cara's inner voice is screaming at her, asking her what the f**k she is doing. She's not supposed to be kissing Kahlan. Not Kahlan Amnell — the enemy — the one who would have her forget all reason and leave Dahlia behind.
But when they are like this, embraced like this, Cara's heart feels whole. More whole than it has ever felt with Dahlia or Leo.
Kahlan gasps into her mouth, startled eyes sliding shut, hands moving up to hover near Cara's face before finally sliding into her hair.
Cara closes her eyes tightly at the feeling, Kahlan's hands in her hair making her scalp and entire body tingle alarmingly. She leans back until she is lying down, pulling Kahlan with her, and — wrapping her arms around the woman — she realizes and acknowledges briefly in the back of her mind that this feels right.
Kahlan untangles herself, breathing hard, cheeks flushed. "Cara...what is... Is this real?" The brunette seems full of despair, blue eyes shimmering with what appears to be unshed tears. She won't even meet Cara's eyes. "You aren't sure, are you?"
"What am I...?" Cara stares before it completely dawns on her what's she's just done — how she's stretched them out on the f**king bed. "Sh*t!" she mutters, instantly pushing at Kahlan to sit up. "F**k!" She comes to her feet, running fingers through her hair.
"Cara..." Kahlan stares up at her. "That kiss was..."
When Cara feels a jolt of excitement at Kahlan's mention of their kiss, she hates herself for it.
Kahlan closes her eyes. "It is me you want, isn't it?"
Cara frowns, looking to the wall. "No."
This discussion can be fixed. She can still convince Kahlan, like she'd initially meant to, that it's Dahlia she wants.
She drops her hands, prepared to say just that. But then Kahlan speaks again:
"Cara, why'd you kiss me?" her eyes refocus on Cara, and she stands to move close.
"I thought it would make you feel better," Cara shrugs.
Kahlan looks to the floor as if contemplating. "Make me feel better?"
"You were crying. And you looked sad. And so it suddenly seemed wrong to tell you that I don't feel the same way you do."
"And so you thought kissing me was the best course of action?" Kahlan finds the blond woman's gaze.
Kahlan is shaking. Her heart tells her that Cara is lying. She has to be. But her mind asks how can Cara possibly feel the same way she does, when the blonde has gone on and on about how she wants Dahlia, about how she even prefers Leo.
Kahlan knows Cara's freckle-phobia isn't a lie. If Cara has this deep-seeded hatred for freckled-face people, which she does, then how can she possibly look upon Kahlan's face with as much desire as Kahlan just saw moments ago? Maybe Cara was playing her, wanted to get her to admit her true reasons for moving in so that she could call "bullshit" on their deal and back out of it legitimately?
"I need to get to the station," Cara looks away from Kahlan and starts for the door.
"Cara?" Kahlan is hesitant, tepid. "What is this thing between us? No matter what you feel for Dahlia, I know you feel this connection...this inexplicable bond...between us as much as I do."
Cara stops by the door, but doesn't turn back to her. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
She exits, and Kahlan is blinded by tears. It really doesn't matter anymore. Cara has made her choice, or choices, and Kahlan already feels broken inside, as if the little hope she'd been holding onto has shattered to pieces with her.
IIII
This fire is one of the worst the FDNY have ever faced, for as long as Cara has been a part of the team, and so it is no surprise that Cara feels guilty for thinking of Kahlan at a time like this. She could die at any moment, as is the danger of a firefighter, and yet she hasn't even made a choice between Dahlia and Kahlan, or Leo. She doesn't even know why she keeps factoring Leo into the equation, when her feelings for Dahlia and Kahlan are stronger, she has come to realize. It's really a choice between those two now, no matter the way Leo makes her smile and warms her heart.
Warms my heart? What is this, a goddamn romance novel? And, what, I seriously have feelings for Kahlan?
Cara is yanked back to the moment with a cough when smoke fills her lungs.
The fire call came in at 10:34 a.m. Chief Gates said the blaze appears to have started near the front windows, then quickly climbed the building's side before spreading from there. It took about 18 minutes before the house was engulfed, and was that way by the time they arrived.
Now, just four minutes later, the majority of the street is blazing in flames. Cara helps hose down the area.
Working in two teams, the crew makes various attempts to free people from the third and fourth floors. Six people are pulled from the higher windows, but two remain.
When Battalion Cheif Edward Dawson asks Cara if she's going to go running into the building as she usually does, and she decides she's fine where she is, he just about topples over while on top of a truck retrieving more supplies. He never thought he'd see the day that Cara Mason passes up a chance to play superhero.
But here she is, helping on the sidelines instead.
What could have made her decide that today was the day to play it safe with her life? Dawson wonders.
IIII
"Absorption lines," Mr. Gregory begins, "I'm talking about the most prominent ones. What are they when it comes to the spectrum of a star with a surface of 30, 000K, 2800K, and 5800K?"
As students battle to answer the questions, Kahlan has her hands propped under her chin, pondering the predicament she's gotten herself into. How is she supposed to go home and face Cara after her confession this morning? And what is she supposed to do about David?
He's sitting beside her now, whispering of days they can get together and do whatever. Kahlan doesn't want to do 'whatever' with him. Not now. Not any day.
"Not now," she whispers to him.
"Then when?"
"Maybe never again." She turns to him to emphasize her point, and the hurt she sees on his face makes her wish she'd never dragged him into this. "I'm sorry, David."
His face appears to tighten and he sits backs, looking off into the distance.
IIII
Peter stands in a booth at a shooting range, firing away. This range consists of a comprehensive program of education for men, women and teenagers, ranging from beginner to advanced study, and instruction is geared toward learning the proper use and handling of firearms with an offer of an NRA Instructor Certification program. But Peter needs none of that. He's been a marksman for years. He is "doubled up" in ear protection by using both earplugs and over the head earmuffs and has selected a top pistol. Most indoor ranges restrict the use of certain powerful calibers, rifles or the use of fully automatic weapons, but not this one. Peter uses .50 caliber bullets and higher. And he decimates the targets each and every time.
IIII
"Peter?" The old woman with the warm gray eyes opens the door. "Well, this is a surprise. You rarely visit during the night. Where's Margaret?"
"Good to see you, too, nana," Peter moves past the woman to stand by a table in the living room, head bent.
Opal Cantor watches her grandson with much concern. In all the time she has known Peter, he has never sulked in front of her...until now. "Peter," she closes the door and slowly moves behind him, cautious. "What's wrong?"
"You ever thought about killing anyone, nana?" He spins to her abruptly, expression grim.
"Well, that depends," she smiles. "If we're talking about men, there have been one too many." She expected a chuckle, but sees that Peter is quite serious. "Here," her features descend into worry, "have a seat, boy." She gestures toward the chairs by the table.
Peter quickly takes a seat across from her, hands running frustratedly across his face. The woman is 88 years old and Peter knows she doesn't need the added stress of worrying about her grandson's sudden homicidal tendencies, but he feels he has no one else to turn to.
"Who are you thinking about killing and why?" Opal presses.
Peter takes this time to think. Should I tell her the truth? Deflect? Two minutes go by before he answers. "People are blaming me, nana. Me and Margaret," he rests his chin on clasped hands, "for Lacey. Saying she should have been with us and not some nanny," his pained eyes center on the rug.
"Oh, Peter." Opal leans closer. "You and Margaret, you had no other choice. You both work and -"
"- That's the thing!" He raises his voice. "Margaret's blaming herself, saying she should have been a simple housewife! I'm blaming myself, which is well-deserved because I could have taken off that day!"
"Peter..."
"I shouldn't have let her go to that recreation center. That building was a mess to begin with, offering a mix of just about everything. When the nanny called saying - not asking but saying - that she would be taking Lacey to the elevator building that was becoming famous for its 'fun kid atmosphere,' I should have said no! I should have said no to the Express Makers 331 elevator building!" He stands, turning his back to the older woman. "Don't you see, nana? No matter how you look at it, either one of us can be blamed. We're hard enough on ourselves about it. We don't need others blaming us, too."
He turns to face her. "Besides...there's another that can be blamed far more than us."
"You don't mean... Peter, she was -"
"- It was her job to save Lacey and those other kids. Instead she, -"
"- Saved an old woman like me?" Opal raises an eyebrow.
"Nana, that's not what I mean."
"Don't patronize me, Peter. I've heard your rantings. Instead of praising that young woman for saving the life of even one person, you - like others - have been blaming her for 'choosing' the old over the young. That's ageism if I ever heard of it."
"Ageism is typically the other way around, nana."
"Have a seat," the woman grabs a cup of coffee from the table and rests it in her lap."
Peter sighs heavily, but does as told.
"That young woman - saving the person she did - It wasn't a choice. Lacey and the others..." Opal's hands start to shake, and her eyes start to water. "Well, you know the story. This Cara woman couldn't get to them." She looks up at her grandson, tears now flowing freely down her face. "How I wish she had been able to. But this hatred you're carrying around. This hatred that has you speaking of murder? Let it go."
"But, nana -"
"- Forgiveness will set you free, Peter. I know that better than anyone. And in this case, you really have nothing to forgive. It wasn't the young woman's fault any more than it was yours or Margaret's."
"But -"
"- What if someone wanted to do the same thing to you? Out of some misplaced justice for Lacey? It wouldn't be fair, would it?"
"That's different," Peter grinds his teeth.
"No, it isn't." Opal stares back into her cup. "You should talk to this Cara woman, face to face. Hear her side...from her own lips and not the media's filter. Then you'll see how much it isn't different."
IIII
Cara arrives home around 8:30 p.m. and enters to find Kahlan's packed bags taking up half of of the living room, and Kahlan dragging an extra one down the stairs.
"What are you doing?" Cara closes the door behind them, looking up at the brunette.
"I think that's pretty clear, Cara. I can't stay here. Not after earlier this morning." She halts at the bottom of the staircase.
"You're not going anywhere." Cara walks to her, placing her hands over Kahlan's, where they rest on luggage.
Kahlan makes a confused face, staring down at their touching fingers and then back at Cara. "How can you want me here after... Won't it complicate things? Not just for just, but for your relationship with Dahlia?"
"Dahlia and I are taking a break." Cara's jaw sets firm.
Kahlan doesn't hide her surprise. "Because of me?" She looks off to the side and then back. "Cara, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean - "
"Yes, because of you," Cara smirks.
Kahlan looks perturbed. Why is Cara smirking? And why is she touching my hands...and so gently?
"But it doesn't matter," Cara adds. "She just needs some time to digest this - why I'm having you stay here - and then our relationship will be all good."
"Why are you having me stay?" Kahlan's eyebrows lift.
Cara leans in closer. "We have a deal, don't we? I let you stay here. You get me over my so-called phobia."
"But didn't you have me tell you my feelings earlier...so that you would have ample reason to throw me out?"
Cara thinks about this for a moment. So that's what Kahlan believes. It's definitely better to go with that than to say anything incriminating.
"Yes," she answers. "But then I came to my senses and remembered that this is a challenge, and that I never back down from a challenge."
Except for maybe when it came to that fire earlier today. What the hell was that about? At least those two made it out okay.
"You don't think anything has changed between us?" Kahlan's voice brings her back.
"Why should it?" Cara shrugs, caressing the brunette's hand. "You want me. But plenty of people want me. The point is...neither they nor you can have me."
Now Kahlan smirks, looking over Cara's firefighter attire. "That's a challenge in itself, isn't it?"
"You can view it however you want," Cara pulls back a bit. "Dahlia may be pulling away from me, and Leo holding off because I told him to, but they'll soon see that you're not the problem. If anything, they should be worried about each other."
"That's your challenge?" Part of Kahlan wants to laugh. "To disapprove me as an option to your other two options?"
"Part of it." Cara snatches away the luggage. "The other part is making sure you don't change me." She sneers, and Kahlan folds her arms across her chest.
Cara moves up the stairs, past Kahlan, then halts to look over shoulder. "I dare you, Kahlan... Change me." Her head turns back around and she continues her ascent upstairs. "If you can."
The little vein in Kahlan's head starts to pulsate as she watches the bitch slowly disappear from her view.