Wow... It's been like, millenia since I updated this story. I apologize! Now that finals are over, I'm a-okay! It's hard to balance school, friends, family, and writing. My life is one big mess. I promise to stay up late and type until I pass out lol.

Okay, this chapter is loaded with angst, as we all expected. R & R, please!

CHAPTER THREE:

I CUT OFF BOTH YOUR WINGS

It's July 4th, Independence Day. Or… the day I was supposed to spend with Kairi because we're so deeply in love. Which had been altered to the day I'm going to spend with Riku, Namine, Sephiroth, and Cloud. Oh Happy Day!

I rolled over onto my back. It must've been about eleven in the morning. Late for me. I never sleep this late. Riku was already gone and so was his guitar. He certainly was an interesting person. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I guess because I never expected to meet him. I never expected that the Devil Incarnate had a son… A very attractive… HOLD IT!

I sat up in bed so fast, I hit my head on the bed above me. "OW!" I screamed and fell back down onto my bed. "Why me?"

"Sora!" Namine came running into the room. "Are you okay?" She looked around the room, as if she expected to see a mad scientist in here somewhere. Namine sat down on the floor below me.

"I hit my head…" I sat up slowly this time. "How was your sleep?" I nearly burst out laughing. I'm guessing Namine hasn't retreated from her new sanctuary all morning. Then she comes running into Riku's room like she's ready to slay some demons. Namine, you odd sister of mine.

"Fine." Namine answered curtly. "I locked my door."

"What does locking your door-" I broke off as Riku casually walked into the room. Then again, it did belong to him. "Morning." Then my brain registered that Riku had a towel around his waist. His entire upper body was mine to examine. In secret, of course. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE! I have to stop thinking like this! I think I'm dying or something…

"Sora? Are you okay?" Namine turned to me, poking me in the shin. Then she pinched me. Hard.

"OUCH!" I shouted and glared at her. "What's your problem?"

"You're the one…" Namine shook her head. "Forget it." And then she left the room, leaving me and half-naked Riku alone. I believed this was a noteworthy time to start praying. Riku walked over to his dresser and pulled it open, completely ignoring me.

"Heh. Heh." I offered anxiously, hoping that I wasn't drooling. I think he possessed me. That must be it! Because for sixteen years, I have been completely and utterly not… I let out a gasp as Riku bent down to pick up a discarded sock off the carpet. That stupid towel… MUST come off! W-wait. No, no! Stop it!

"Sora?" Riku turned around and looked at me, smirking. "Are you hungry?" He was studying me as if I was a lab rat or something. I don't like being stared at, especially by someone who has such an effect on me.

For your hot body, yes. No, no, I'm not hungry! I've been inflicted with a horrid disease… I had to pull myself together. This was completely unacceptable. I couldn't have these feelings. This must be some odd male form of morning sickness. But wait… I thought that only pregnant women get that. I'd like him to impregnate me. My inner demonic voice whispered. AYAAAAAAA!

"No." I answered emotionlessly, or at least I tried to. I gulped as Riku made his way towards me. He stooped down so that I was looking directly in his eyes. "W-what are you doing?" Ooh… the towel is slipping…

"Are you bipolar?" It took me a few moments to realize what Riku was asking me. Well, that snapped me back into reality. Riku was the Devil's Advocate. Any feelings, any kind words, any good deeds… were strictly prohibited. This jerk most likely spent more time with my… Spiky, than I ever will.

I instinctively shoved him away from me. So hard that he fell on the ground. I smiled. I was back. And it was a good thing, too. Because I wasn't going to betray Namine or Lulu by being nice to Riku. He was the enemy.

"What the hell was that for?" Riku stood up angrily. "What is the matter with you?" I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed onto my arm and held me in place. I struggled to get away from him, but he was too strong. "Sora! Sora, look at me! What's wrong with you?"

"Leave… me… alone!" I squirmed and kicked until Riku let go of me.

Spiky chose to walk in the room at that moment. Me? I was rubbing my sore arm and glaring at a hot picture of Amy Lee.Who was a girl. See, I could lust after a girl. I wasn't... gay. Confused, yes? Gay, possibly.Him? Riku was standing there, still half-naked. Glowering at a poster of Incubus. Hey megalomaniac! That's Sephiroth!

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up." Cloud put an arm around my shoulders. I pushed his arm away. "I guess you're not a morning person. Do you want to take a shower?"

"Yeah." I nodded, surprising myself. Anything to get away from DA. Anything. I decided to let Riku know that we could never be friends. "If you ever touch me again-"

"Save it, Sora." Riku snapped at me and walked over to his closet and refused to look at me. For some reason… this bothered me. I don't know why and I certainly didn't like it. I didn't like the way Riku was making me feel.

Cloud led me to the bathroom a second later. It was further down the hallway. I asked him to dig up some clothes from my suitcase for me. As I showered, I thought of Riku's name until it made me sick with cruel nostalgia…

(Flashback)

A tiny boy, no more than six or seven is sitting on beige rug, crying. He hears his younger sister wailing upstairs in her crib, but he doesn't move. He stares at the vomit next to him in fear. His eyes flicker nervously from the light above him, to the table on his left, to the stove, to the fridge.

Finally, it happens. A young woman with angry green eyes stalks into the kitchen. She flips the light on and glares at him. "What are you doing over there?" The woman stomps over to little boy and her eyes catch the puke on the mat. "You dirty little brat! Why do I always have to clean up after you? First you had your stupid accident on my carpet and I had to clean up your piss! But now this?"

The woman glowers at the boy in disgust. The boy slowly gets up, looking anxiously at the woman. "Clean it up! Clean it up!" She shrieks, stomping on the ground. "I'm sick and tired of cleaning up your messes!" The woman grabs the boy by the arm and yanks him towards her. "Worthless worm, just like your father!"

By this time, the boy is wailing just as loud as his sister. "Shut up!" The woman lets go of his arm and kicks him to the ground at the simultaneously.

"Shut up!" The woman kicks the boy again, even though he is still on the ground. "You disgust me! You are not my son. Now clean up this mess. I'm leaving. And when I come back, I don't want to hear that brat crying!" The woman grabs the boy by the front of his shirt. "Is that understood, brat?"

"Yes, Mother." The boy sniffles and turns away from his mother. His mother throws him on top of the rug and quickly leaves the house, muttering about getting a fix. The boy lies on the rug lifelessly for what seems like forever.

Then… the front door opens. The boy freezes and his eyes widen. His mother was not supposed to be home so soon. But it is not his mother who walks into the kitchen. It is his savior, a tall, beautiful angel with long dark brown hair and crimson red eyes.

"Sora?" The angel gasps, running over to him. "Are you okay? Answer me! Sora!" His angel holds him close. "Oh God… I'm so sorry. I promise… I won't leave you alone again. I promise. Sora…" And Sora allows himself to cry even harder in his angel's arms. "Go upstairs and help your sister. I'll clean up this mess, okay?" And the boy, Sora, wipes his tears away and scurries up the stairs to comfort his sister…

(End Flashback)

I wanted to hit myself. Why did I only remember bad things? I slumped against the wall of the shower and held myself. I could barely feel the hot water attacking my body. I didn't want to remember all of this. I really didn't. And the worst part was… Rikku couldn't even be blamed for what she did. She was a druggie, addicted to sin. That Rikku who plagued my thoughts and nightmares was nothing like the mother she once was. I loved that mother. Then I had to watch as she vanished, needle by needle, swallow by swallow, smoke by smoke.

I cried for the first time in years. I thought I had gotten past all of this. But I didn't. I was still weak. Because of Riku. Because he shared my mother's name. And I was drawn to him, I couldn't deny it. But could I fight it?

"Sora?" A faint voice asked me. It was Namine. I hurriedly turned off the shower, grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist and opened the door. I must've looked like death to her, because she flung herself at me. "Sora, I want to go home. I miss Mom so badly… I miss Mom and Rikku…" She cried on me and I held her.

Hearing footsteps, I yanked Namine inside the bathroom and shut the door behind us. "Dad, listen to me!" I heard Riku protest. Then I heard the sound of a smack and turned to Namine in shock.

"No, you listen to me!" It was Sephiroth. That bastard was going to get his. And I was the delivery boy. "The only reason I agreed to have Cloud's brats up here was because I know it will save our marriage. If you don't bond with at least one of them, there'll be hell to pay." Namine and I head another slap. "Now you'd better get to work. Because if Cloud divorces me, I'm going to kill you."

I can't remember a time when I was this scared. Sephiroth made Rikku look like a nun. And that was scary. I didn't know whether which situation scared me more: Being around Sephiroth during his bloodlust or Rikku in withdrawal. Namine quivered in my arms and didn't stop shaking until we heard someone walk away, most likely Sephiroth.

"Namine." I whispered in her ear. "We have to be careful. I don't want either of us to ever be alone with him. He's trying to use us to save his failing marriage. He's violent and desperate. That's not a good mix."

"I wonder if he beats our father, too." Namine stood up and sat on the toilet, on top of my clothes. "Sora, I'm terrified. We have to get out of here."

"No. We can't. Sephiroth can't kill us… because he wants Cloud. So we're safe, somewhat." I frowned pensively, leaning against the door. "But if we do leave early, Sephiroth will kill Riku."

"You have a point…" Namine scowled. "Riku is a victim, just like us. We should be his friends, not his enemies."

"Wait, wait!" I shouted before I could stop myself. "Let's not go too far, now." Geez… he's not helpless or anything. I'm not being his friend.

"Sora… I'm tired of acting like you." Namine smiled bitterly. "I'm not very good at it and acting like you makes me feel horrible. I'll leave the anger and hate and sarcasm to you, okay?" I sighed in relief and gave her a quick hug.

"Thank heaven for that." I rolled my eyes, pulling my sister to her feet. "You can befriend Riku if you want. But I'm not. Because Riku only needs to bond with one of us. And that's going to be you." Lulu, I did it. I hope you're proud of me…

"Sora, we both know that doesn't make any sense." Namine shook her head at me. "You have much more in common with him than I do."

"Well, forgive me for not being naturally friendly." I snapped crossly and turned away from her. "It's your job to befriend him. I don't want anything to do with him." Why does she have to be right ALL the time?

"Sora… why are you scared?" Namine put a hand on my shoulder.

"Scared?" I whirled around, my blue eyes practically glowing with anger. "Because he has her name, that's why! I can't live with him. It's already beginning to tear me apart from the inside. I'm remembering things I've repressed, things I pushed away…" Lucky for Namine, she was too young to remember all of it. I say lucky because it wouldn't have been fair for Lulu to have to care of two basket cases.

"Oh Sora…" Namine tried to hold me again, but I didn't want to be touched. "You were in the shower for so long. Even Spiky was worried about you."

"Why do you call him that?" I managed to crack a tiny smile.

"Because you do as well. Plus, it seems to bother him." Namine shrugged, looking behind her. "I think I squished your clothes."

"Doesn't matter." I said blankly, gesturing towards the door. "Lock your door." I instructed before Namine left the bathroom. I slouched against the back of the door and hung my head. Is this what dying feels like?

I peeled off the towel and began to dress. I washed my face repeatedly and finally exited the bathroom. I walked down the hallway, towards Riku's room. And when I entered it, I found Namine and Riku sitting on my bed and talking to each other. I stood in the doorway, shaking my head. I could see Riku's red cheek.

"Good morning, Sora." A sinister, but soft voice said from behind me. I whirled around and there he was. Sephiroth. Both Namine and Riku stopped talking. "And I would appreciate if you referred to me as Sephiroth. Riku may tolerate your ridiculous antics, but I will not."

"And I'm sure my Dad would appreciate you threatening me." I sneered at Sephiroth, seeing his eyes narrow forebodingly at me. "You don't scare me."

"Ah yes. I see that." Sephiroth studied me avidly. "You and I have something in common then. We've both experienced so much that fear is nothing to us."

"That's the only thing we have in common." I leered at Sephiroth. "Now I'd appreciate it, Sephiroth, if you would leave so I can go and eat my breakfast in peace." What a cocky bastard. I laughed to myself. I'll enjoy taking him down.

"But beware, little Sora." Sephiroth leaned in close and whispered. "You might be strong… but those you love are not. You know… the main reason the prosecutors couldn't pin Aeris' murder on me was because they lacked… forensic evidence." And with that, Sephiroth walked off, leaving me pale and shaking.

"Sora, what's wrong?" Namine ran over to me. "What did he say?" I managed to walk completely inside Riku's room. I was right smack in the middle of Riku's carpet. I kind of stood there like a zombie, looking around aimlessly.

"He threatened Kairi." I spoke blankly. "How does he even know about her?" Yes, Sephiroth had threatened her. First, the reference to a weak loved one. (It had to be Kairi, because Lulu sure as hell wasn't weak.) Then talking about murder. And finally, the biggest clue of all. Forensics. The very class that Kairi would begin taking tomorrow. "I won't let him win."

He caught me by surprise. But… would he really stoop so low as to hurt Kairi? She's harmless and she puts up with enough. She should be on her way to winning the Nobel Peace Prize for not putting me out of my misery. Instead… she's on Sephiroth's wanted list. I hated myself at this point. Why did I always cause others pain? Why couldn't I do something right for a change?

I kicked Riku's wall in anger. "Sora." Riku walked over to me, actually looking concerned. "You don't want to mess with my father. It's dangerous."

"I noticed." I snapped at him and proceeded to kick his wall again. Namine grabbed onto my arm. "What? What does everyone want from me?" I didn't even know when I collapsed on the floor in agony, but Namine was right there to hold me. Sephiroth was callous. I gazed up at Riku and stared at his right cheek.

"Shhh… it's okay, Sora." Namine was actually rocking me back and forth. I was kind of in a daze at this point. "Close the door, Riku." She ordered sharply and he had no choice but to honor her request.

"Is he going to be okay?" I heard Riku ask Namine. He must've reached out a hand to touch me, because I heard Namine shout at him. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry."

I was lost. And I hated that feeling. I had too much to do, too much to do. Riku. Rikku. Riku. Rikku. Riku. Riku. Riku. Namine was still rocking me back and forth. But it wasn't working. I wasn't feeling any better. I needed Lulu.

I remember now. How she was my guardian angel, my redeemer, my light. I remember how her long dark hair would envelop me like a secure cocoon as she held me close. Lulu… Lulu… I never wanted to admit this, but I needed her. Much more than she needed me. She was my stability. And now she was gone. Now I was alone. And there was nothing I could do about it. I was such a fucking basket case. Pathetic!

Namine finally stopped swaying. I guess she knew it wasn't doing any good. Finally. Someone gets the picture. Everything around me is hazy. I wasn't even sure if I was still inside Riku's room. I couldn't even open my mouth or scratch my nose. I was completely immobile.

"Sora…" A soft voice whispered in my ear. "Please, please come back. Sora, I need you. Please, don't leave me…" I could feel someone holding me tight. Someone's head was buried in my chest. Someone's arms were wrapped around my waist. I leaned by head back, so that it was resting against the wall.

Who was that? I felt my body stir and my vision began to come back. I could feel my arms moving and they didn't stop until they enclosed around someone. Who was it? My eyes widened in astonishment.

"Na-Namine." I sputtered, shaking my head in confusion. I looked down at her. She was sobbing on my chest and refused to move. "I… I think I'm okay." Sure, I felt a bit dizzy and I wanted to kill myself. But at least I had all my senses back. I tried to move, but Namine wouldn't let me.

So I decided to sit there a while longer. My clouded blue eyes found Riku's turquoise ones. And I was shocked to find that his were full of concern. "I'm okay now. But she isn't." I said simply, running my fingers through my spiky locks. "So what's on the agenda for today?" Namine still wouldn't let go of me.

"We're going to the Giants Stadium to see the fair and the fireworks. It's in the Meadowlands." Riku managed to say, trying to sound casual.

It was then that my eyes settled on the guitar next to Riku's dresser. It was almost hidden. "Hey, Riku." I called out. "Get that guitar. I plan on singing."

Eyes widened, Riku obeyed, got his guitar, and sat back down. I heard Namine's gasp. "No, Sora, don't!" She finally pulled away from me and I could see her tear-stained cheeks. "You're hurting enough already…"

"And so are you." I shrugged as Riku began strumming a tune. "Alright. Blue and Yellow. You ready?" I figured that if Riku and I had enough in common, he'd know the song. I knew I was right to believe in him when I heard the familiar intro. I knew then… I knew then that I could count on Riku…

"And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
through everyone that feels it.

Well your never gonna find it,
If your looking for it,
won't come your way, yea
Well you'll never find it,
if your looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.

And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
it burns a hole, through everyone that feels it

Well you're never gonna find it,
If your looking for it, won't come your way, yea
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.

Time with you... (Time with you… time with you…)
Waste some time with you -"

"Sora." Namine stood up. "I'm okay now. Trust me." Personally, I was partially happy and partially annoyed that she interrupted me, because singing was slowly killing me on the inside. But on the other hand, I was getting ready for the sweet ending of the song. Oh well… That's twice I had to sing to comfort this girl. She's going to drive me to a psych ward one day.

"Good playing." I smiled at Riku, but my smile froze on my lips. I realized something. In my insane effort to comfort my sister… I had used Riku's name. I said Riku's name out loud. I called him "Riku". I could feel the bile forming in my stomach. The last thing I remember is feeling the soft carpet against my cheek…

I woke up in my bed. My stomach growled fiercely. Namine was sitting on the edge of my bed, listening to my iPod. Again. I was irritated, but I decided to let this one go. Namine jumped up after seeing me move and ran out of the room. Soon enough, Riku walked in, carrying a TV table and Spiky came in after him holding a plate of food.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted breakfast or lunch." Cloud shrugged as Riku set the TV table before me. "So I gave you both."

"I had an emotional breakdown." I realized, speaking out loud. "Then I impulsively punished myself for singing and using DA's real name." Cloud didn't reply, but kissed my forehead and left the room. What a coward. But at least he can cook. I began shoving food down my throat. Namine turned the TV on.

"Why does it matter?" Riku snapped out. He needed to kick a wall. "Why does my name-" Namine was drooling. Some actor I recognized was on a ship.

"Ok, let's not be stupid here." I wove my fork in the air impatiently. "We both know why your name causes pain. You have my mother's name. She abused me. End of story." Why is my sister so obsessed with Johnny Depp?

"I'm not your mother, Sora." Riku knelt down and glared into my eyes. "I'd never do that to you."

"What are you talking about? You already struck me. Seems like you're well on your way to becoming my mother." I glared right back at him. "I hate you. Leave me alone and let me eat."

"You should leave." Namine said absentmindedly, ogling Orlando Bloom dressed as a pirate. Or at least… he was with a pirate. I don't know. "Sora sang twice in one week. Consider yourself lucky he hasn't swallowed anything." Riku glared at me and stalked out of his room, leaving my sister and I alone to ponder the possible boy-boy relationship between Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner.

Finito! I do love Pirates of the Caribbean. The next one is coming out in June 7th or July 7th. I keep forgetting the month. Darnit... Oh yes, please review. Pretty please?

Next up: Trip to the fair and the fireworks! Can you guess who our surprise visitor is? And just how far is Sephiroth willing to go tointimidate Sora? Muufuufuu...