Gomen nasai! I suck. I cannot believe how much I suck. For those still sticking around, I thank you. Life has been crazy, which it always is, but I actually have been putting other things on hold to finally get this chapter out! I still don't know how I feel about. I've re-written the ending three different ways, this last one, the most natural, and most real. It's crazy how your fingers have a mind of their own. Anyway, with further ado, here you go. Reviews, as always, are my muse. I'm interested to know whatcha think. A little shout out to Ruby Nury who kicked my ass in gear and finally inspired to me to finish the dang thing. Much love.
Haruka honestly did not know how to respond to the image set before her. Usagi, her stupid, idotic Usagi, looked like a human water fountain, her long pigtails pouring water from its tips. Her eyes were wide, the stereotypical deer caught in a headlight. Slowly, Usagi started walking out of the pond. The one where she had submerged herself in at ten fucking o clock at night. Did the girl not have any sense? Sure, jump in a pond, where your reaction time is significantly slowed down, at night, at a park, on the outskirts of town.
The first emotion that she first experienced was anger. Haruka wanted to leap across the few feet separating them to throttle her misguided friend. One of Haruka's downfalls, she herself knew, was once a person's safety whom she cared for was compromised, she became one of the most overbearing females. Michiru and Hotaru had witnessed this on multiple occasions. Knowing that Usagi had been in danger, and she wasn't there to save her, unnverved Haruka. Perhaps the anger also came from the fact that Usagi was intentionally avoiding her. Maybe she shouldn't take to personally, for she seemed to be dismissing the rest of the senshi, but dammit, her and Usagi were different. They had always been different. Now, Haruka felt replaced. From what, she didn't know.
Trying to school her expression, Haruka briefly entertained the idea of feigning ignorance if Usagi had received her phone messages. And then quickly dismissed it. Why beat around the damn metaphorical bush?
Usagi, who finally stepped out of the pond, was currently squeezing her long ponytails as excess water showered out. Her expression was pensive and guarded.
Haruka walked closer to her and calmly asked, "Usagi, what is going on?"
There was no response.
Stifling a sigh, Haruka continued. "I've been calling you for weeks; Mina, instead, calls me desperately asking if we talked because you apparently were attacked and the enemy knows you identity and now those damn idols are the Sailor Starlights. Is there a reason you failed to communicate anything to me?"
The shorter blond didn't disappoint. "I'm not avoiding you." And, then ironically, walked around Haruka, knapsack in hand, as if she was going to leave. Not avoiding, my ass.
"Odango, are you seriously walking away from me?" Haruka turned and lightly grabbed Usagi's shoulder to pull her back.
Usagi flinched, whipping her face back towards Haruka. "Don't touch me," she spat. "Save that for Michiru."
Dumbfounded, it was Haruka's turn to stare at Usagi in shock. There was such venom in her voice, venom that was never directed towards her.
"Koneko-chan," Haruka began.
"Don't call me that," Usagi all but yelled. "Stop this mascarade! I'm not this special person where we have a special relationship, that is all so special!" Her hands flayed about as she pronounced each "special".
"Usagi-"
"You have a special little family now, with Michiru and Hotaru!"
It was then that realization dawned on Haruka as she tried to decipher Usagi's verbal explosion.
"Are you jealous?" she asked.
Silence broke out. Usagi blinked. "Jealous?"
Haruka nodded.
"Jealous of what?"
"My family."
Usagi immediately burst into laughter. This was not giggles, nor chuckles, but a full out, cackling. She made quite a sight. The poor girl was shivering head to toe, her arms wrapped protectively across her chest as if she could keep in some of her own warmth. And now she was laughing like a maniac. Haruka wondered if she finally lost it. It's wouldn't have been unreasonable. Sailor Moon had been through enough anguish and turmoil to last a lifetime.
"Usa, are you okay?"
"Haruka, I already have a family! Don't worry about me, I have a future daughter and fucking emotional absent husband to look forward to!"
It was then that Haruka took a step back, distancing herself. Sad Usagi, Upbeat Usagi, Whiney Usagi, Mad Usagi, Ignorant Usagi….these were all Usagis Haruka could deal with. But this woman before her, she did not recognize. She did not recognize these raw emotions. Frankly, she wondered if the girl was having a mental breakdown.
She tried again. "Usagi-"
"Yes, I've been avoiding you," she interrupted. "I've been avoiding everyone. Because no one understands!" Her voice seemed to grow louder with each sentence. "'Usagi, stay away from the Starlights', 'Usagi think of Mamoru', 'Usagi, stop hanging out with Seiya'. Well, Seiya was the only one who was there for me. You sure as hell weren't! You were too busy playing daddy. Seiya was the only person who understood and made life bearable. And now he's not here, because you and everyone else once again, think you know what's best for me. Seiya was there. He-"
"You might as well stop saying he, Usagi" Haruka finally snapped. "Seiya is a woman, if what Minako told me is true. Are you a lesbien?"
Usagi mouth started to twitch. Haruka had never seen this face before. She concluded it must be rage.
"Aren't you? God forbid Usagi have a close relationship with someone who isn't a senshi-"
"No," she said coldly, "God forbid Usagi have an inappropriate relationship with someone who isn't Mamoru-san."
Another laugh escaped her mouth. "Fuck Mamoru-san! I have not heard one damn word from him since he boarded that airplane! So while you and everyone is busy trying to plan a wedding for the lukewarm groom, I think I can have one measley relationship with a girl. You're such a hypocrite! Who are you to be disgusted if I love a girl?"
"Because if you are going to love any girl, it's supposed to be me!" Haruka roared.
Silence once again filled the air.
So much for her being calm and collected. Shit. Haruka sighed. "Gomen nasai, Odango, I shouldn't have said that."
Haruka searched for her eyes only to find them clouding with tears. This wasn't new—she had seen her leader's eyes watery many times, but she rarely saw them fall. Tonight, Usagi was letting them fall.
"'Ruka," she choked out. "You never would let me." Usagi closed her eyes as silent tears streaked her face.
"Odango," Haruka whispered. She grabbed her hand and led her to the nearest bench just a few feet away. Pulling Usagi in her lap, Haruka whispered, "It's okay. Everything's fine."
"No, it's not. Everything pretty much is ruined." Usagi arms looped themselves around Haruka's neck as she buried her face in the crook of Haruka's neck.
Haruka briefly wandered if she was dreaming. She had an armful of Usagi in her lap after just basically blurting out she had feelings for her.
An annoying vibrating noise broke Haruka from her thoughts. She distantly watched as Usagi perked up and almost desperately started digging in her knapsack for her cell phone. After securing the device in her hand, she frantically read the caller ID, before rolling her eyes and un-delicately throwing the phone back in her bag.
"Where you waiting for a call?"
She shrugged. "It's just the inner senshi. It doesn't matter."
"Where you waiting for a call?" she asked again.
Usagi didn't answer.
"Were you waiting for maybe Seiya's call?"
Usagi flinched as she heard the bitterness in Haruka's tone.
Her eyes flew to the ground and she scurried off of Haruka's lap almost to apologize for her transgression. It took her a second, but finally, she courageously looked into Haruka's face. "Hai. I was hoping it was him." She winced and corrected herself, "Her."
Usagi turned around, for the second time that night, as if to walk away from Haruka. But she wasn't having it. In a split second, Haruka jumped off the bench and pushed Usagi into the tree growing right by the bench. Haruka was unbearably close to Usagi, her chest and body colliding with the smaller women. Any passerby, if there were any at the time of night, would mistakenly think they were sharing an embrace. However, there was nothing sweet, nor pure about this hold. Haruka was acting on pure instinct. Hurt, jealousy, possessiveness, and control turned out not to be the most healthy combination.
"Usagi," she whispered deadly. "I am only going to tell you this once."
Usagi, for her part, seemed shocked at Haruka's reaction. She didn't seem scared, but rather bewildered. Haruka could make out the faint blush on her cheeks, on how her breathing automatically increased.
"You are not to be with Seiya alone," Haruka continued. "You are not his princess. You are mine."
And with that declaration, Haruka, roughly stole a kiss from her. Quite literally stole, for Haruka didn't care if Usagi was receptive or not. Unfortunately, Usagi's lips, unlike her still wet body, were quite warm and soft. What started off as a demanding kiss, almost as a punishment, quickly and quite pathetically, softened once her partner shly started to kiss back.
It was only when Usagi started to respond, common sense started to rear its ugly head against her guttural instincts.
Haruka yanked her head away from Usagi. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
Against better reason, she turned to see Usagi breathing heavily while licking her lips. She looked dazed. And completely irresistible.
No! Haruka thought. Stop. Michiru. Michiru. Michiru.
Agitated, she pulled her hand through her blond hair, and took several steps back. "I can't think right now. Just…we're going to talk tomorrow. " Just as she was about to turn around and flee, she looked at Usagi dead in the eye, waiting until Usagi met her gaze.
"I mean it Odango, stay away from her. I will kill her if she touches you."
And without another glance for fear of losing control again, Haruka ran through Lotus Garden Park, cursing the existence of Kou Seiya each time her foot hit the pavement.