Chapter 4: Lovestruck
I let Harmony sleep until noon, then I can't risk it any longer. He tries to make me sleep, but I tell him we have to move.
After about a mile, he starts to sing an old mountain song, purposely making his voice sound horrible. I smile and cover my ears.
"What? You don't like my singing?" he asks with fake hurt in his voice. I shake my head, but I'm still smiling.
"Can't hear you," I say.
"Oh, really?" he says, and picks me up, making me uncover my ears. But he trips and we both fall to the ground, laughing. But I stop myself. I can't get too attached to him. If I do, will I be able to kill him if comes down to it? Probably not. That's why I can't fall for him. I'll just end up dead because I won't be able to kill him when it comes to it.
"Let's keep moving," I say, the laughter gone from my voice. I feel him staring at me. "What?"
"Nothing," he says. I have my sword in my hand, gripping it so tightly my hand is white. "You okay?"
"Yeah," I answer. "Just keeping an eye out." I don't look at him. I can't. He gets up and I just stand there, my back turned. My lip quivers, and I'm suddenly scared I might cry. But I don't. I walk forward, determined to stay alive no matter what. I push the terrifying thoughts away and let encouraging ones in. Like if I win, I'll get to see Claire's nine-year-old face again, her somewhat chubby cheeks and dark brown, almost black, eyes. Her face is what keeps me going. I wonder how she's handling our father. As far as I'm concerned, he's not my father. Not anymore.
My head is so filled with thoughts, I jump when Harmony says, "It's dark, Ember. We need a rest." Just then, the anthem plays, but no faces light up the night sky.
"Right," I say. "Do you think we should risk a fire?"
"No. Not tonight," he says.
Again I flatten out a small area and lie down, sword right beside me, in fact, it's practically in my hand, just in case. There's no moon tonight, so it's pretty much pitch black. I can't seem to sleep, so I just sit there by Harmony, trying to work things out.
"I wonder when the audience will get a show," I say. My guess is they'll get bored soon and the Gamemakers will have to pump it up a bit.
As if on cue, a cannon fires.
"I hope that's your answer," replies Harmony. Me, too. That should keep the audience for a while. I think, and can only hope the battle was bloody.
After a while, I find myself actually humming. Humming, which I only do for Claire, and even then, I won't even do it for her sometimes. When my mother was alive. That was the only time music was ever present. Then, my father was actually happy. But after she died, he basically resigned from being our father. Now he's more like a non-caring…Whatever. He just stopped caring and now, now I've pushed him out of my life completely.
"You alright?" asks Harmony.
"Yeah, just thinking," I answer.
"About what?" he asks.
"Everything. The Games, home, everything," I answer.
"Sometimes thinking about it makes it worse," he says, and reaches for my hand. I don't recoil. Instead I let his fingers intertwine with mine. Then I feel that thing, the monster, the creature beating against my breastbone again. But instead of pushing it away and trying to tame it, I let hit as hard as it can, and welcome it. For once in my life, I feel safe. Like if a pack of giant cougars jumped out right now, they wouldn't be able to touch me.
I start to sing full songs, lyrics and all. After a few, Harmony lies down and falls asleep, but I don't stop singing. I like it. Mostly because I've been dying to sing for so long but it reminds me too much of my mother. But tonight I let out the tears and after, I feel much better. Emotionally and physically. After about four hours, Harmony wakes and makes me sleep.
My dreams are sweet. Everything dances. Me, Claire, and my mother dancing with the fireflies on a cool summer night. Then my father, dancing with my mother, her cool amber gaze fixated on him, her light brown hair flowing as he spins her in the air. I think I know why my father won't even look at me anymore. I remind him too much of our mother.
I wake, actually feeling happy. Harmony is not anywhere in sight. I worry, and call softly for him.
"Boo!" I jump about ten feet into the air, sword poised to strike. Harmony stands behind me, his teeth showing in a huge grin. I collapse onto my back, eyes closed. I hold my breath so that it looks like I've stopped breathing.
"Ember?" I hear him say. "Ember!" He is now frantic. I can feel his breath against my skin.
"Aah!" I open my eyes suddenly and I see him fall back. I laugh.
"Got you!" I say. He just shakes his head and smiles, as if I've gone crazy. I may be crazy, but I don't care.
"Guess I deserve that," he says.
"Yeah, you do," I say, still laughing. I have this thing, that whenever I laugh really hard I cross my eyes, and he just stares at me, starting to laugh, too.
"You burned out yet?" he asks after a few minutes.
"Almost," I answer, still faintly laughing. "Just give me a minute."
When I finally stop laughing, we find a small pond where we fill up our water tins. We rest, and just relax. No sign of the other tributes. No sign of really anything.
"This silence is very creepy," I say.
"And scary," adds Harmony. "Do you think they're planning something now?"
"Maybe," I say.
"Do you think we should move?" he asks me. I shrug.
"Until they do something, let's just stay here," I say.
"Hey, look!" he says. He picks up a small nut. "Try it."
"Why? It could be dangerous," I say.
"Oh, come on," he says. I sigh. But what do I have to lose?
"I'm going to regret this.." I say. I place it inside my mouth. It has a bitter, almost earthy taste. It's gross.
"How is it?" he says.
"Blech," I say, and stick out my tongue to emphasize my distaste for it. I glare at him while he just grins.
"Now we know it's not dangerous," he says, laughing a little. I can tell now he knew all along it wasn't dangerous. For once I don't feel like I'm in the Games. I feel like I'm home, safe and sound. This boy, from District 7, has made me feel like this.
"I'll show you what's dangerous," I say, and push him into the water. I sit there, pretty satisfied with myself, when his hand reaches from between some reeds, and pulls me in with him. I was definitely not planning on getting wet today. Luckily I can swim. I throw my arms around his neck and he wraps his around me. I enjoy this. I feel a real connection with him now. But I don't hate it. I love it.
What do you think so far? Hm? If you don't like it, I'll send Ember after you! If you do, then I won't. Please review!