Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter.
A/N: Hey! Back I am! I'm so glad! It's been ages and I missed you all! I also missed the fics I was following! Oh well, plenty to catch up on! Here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Also, I would like to say thanks to everyone who reviewed while I was away. It's been really great to come back to such a fantastic response! This is the first time that I've written anything like this, so I'm really happy that it is appreciated! Thanks again!
Ch. 4.
As soon as the door slammed behind the Gryffindor hero, the students erupted into whispers about Harry's strange behaviour and rapid exit. Ron and Hermione hurried to each other and had a heated exchange, wondering what was wrong with their friend. Snape whirled on Draco.
"What happened?" he demanded.
"I'm not sure…" Draco was stunned. "He was slicing the mandrake leaves, and cut his finger. He got a funny look on his face, so I called to him and he gave me the knife. He backed away and went into a kind of trance. That's when you spoke to him, and he ran."
Snape quickly realised what had happened. At that morning's meeting, Dumbledore had spoken of Harry's cutting. The boy obviously felt tempted to self-harm, and had run away to pull himself together.
'Smart boy.' Snape thought.
"Mr. Malfoy, I believe that you are capable of completing this stage alone, correct?" he asked.
"Yes sir," the young Slytherin replied.
With a sharp nod, Snape turned to the rest of the class, realising that they were still talking.
"Get back to work!" the professor roared, stalking back to his desk.
HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDM
Running through the dungeon corridors, Harry wondered where he could go. He couldn't return to the dorms; Dean's razors were in the bathroom, and he couldn't visit Dobby; there were knives in the kitchens. The temptation was still too strong for him to be near anything sharp.
Reaching the entrance hall, Harry burst through the castle doors and sprinted to the lake, throwing himself down on the shore. For a moment, he sat panting, before he hauled himself up to peer at his reflection in the water.
The boy looking back at him was healthy at a glance, but if one looked harder, they would see the weariness in his eyes.
"See Harry? You're healthy," he said to his reflection. "You don't need to hurt yourself any more. There're no bruises or cuts, no burns. No one's hurting you. You don't need to get rid of any pain. There's none to get rid of. Potions was an accident. You need a blade."
But he could still feel the cold metal passing through his skin. The sweet release as the blood trickled out. It could end the pain that the memories caused.
"No!" Harry cried, wrenching up his sleeve. "Look at these scars. Cutting myself only adds to my body's pain! I don't need to do that! My body is screwed up enough as it is. I can do other things to feel better, to get rid of the pain. I don't need a blade. I don't need it. I don't need it!"
He sat there for almost an hour, staring at his scars, convincing himself that it was bad to self-harm, and that he didn't need to do it. The craving to self-harm faded slowly, and Harry found himself more in control. He knew he could now trust himself around sharp objects, but he also knew that Ron and Hermione would be looking for him to demand an explanation. He decided to avoid them until he'd done all that he needed to do. Talking about his past was upsetting enough, but after what had just happened, he would end up exhausted.
For another five minutes, Harry sat gazing out across the lake, before an owl dropped a letter in his lap. Recognising Dumbledore's writing, he picked it up to read.
Harry,
Madam Malkin will be arriving in an hour to measure you for your robes. You are welcome to come for tea and sandwiches in my office beforehand.
A. Dumbledore.
Standing, Harry tucked the letter in his pocket and wandered back to the castle. Tea with Dumbledore seemed a much safer option than venturing into the Great Hall.
Using all the shortcuts and secret passages he knew of, Harry soon found himself giving the password to the gargoyle, having only run into three students, none of which knew about his abrupt exit from Potions. Knocking, he entered at the command and sat in the offered armchair.
"Well Harry," Dumbledore passed him a plate of sandwiches. "Today has been rather eventful."
"Yes, it has," Harry accepted the plate.
"I hope it hasn't been too stressful for you," Dumbledore said gravely.
"Not really," Harry replied thoughtfully. "I knew why the teachers were acting strange, the other students were rather scared. Though, Potions turned out to be quite difficult for unexpected reasons."
"Yes, Severus mentioned it," Dumbledore nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," Harry shook his head. "I've got it back under control now. I'm more worried about later. Ron and Hermione will want an explanation."
"Harry, I understand how difficult your past must be to discuss," Dumbledore said. "But I think it best for you to tell them. They are worried about you, it is not fair to them to hide it from them."
"I know," Harry conceded. "I realised earlier that I have to tell them tonight, I just need to prepare myself for it. Though, I'm not going straight back to the dorm after this, I'm going to go and apologise to Professor Snape for running out of class."
"You don't have to, Severus understands," Dumbledore smiled.
"It's still polite," Harry insisted.
"You truly are extraordinary," the old wizard shook his head.
They ate in silence for a few minutes.
"Harry, I have something for you," Dumbledore broke the peaceful quiet. "I know of your penchant for wandering the castle at night when you need to think."
Harry choked on his last bite of sandwich, and took a gulp of pumpkin juice to ease his coughing.
"So I have written you a note," Dumbledore continued. "It gives you permission to be out after curfew. I must ask you not to wander around too often, however. Please only use it when you feel it necessary to clear your mind, or practise your guitar in a classroom."
"I will, thank you sir," Harry carefully folded the note, and put it into his pocket.
A knock came at the door, and Madam Malkin came in. With a friendly smile, she conjured a stool for Harry to stand on, and soon a tape measure was taking his measurements. In five minutes, it was finished.
"I'll try to get them here in the next two days, but it could be longer," Malkin said to Dumbledore. "I have a rather difficult gown to complete for Narcissa Malfoy. She ordered it this afternoon, and wants it ready in two days. It's going to be taking up most of my time, I'm afraid."
"That's not a problem," Dumbledore assured her. "Whenever they're ready, just send them along."
Nodding, the witch bid them goodbye, and left.
"Thanks for tea, sir," Harry smiled. "But I think that I should go find Professor Snape now. The sooner I see him, the sooner I see Ron and Hermione, and I think it's better to tell them before I get too tired."
"Of course, Harry. You are welcome," Dumbledore nodded.
With another smile, Harry left.
HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDM
Harry waited outside Snape's door. He'd just knocked and been told to wait.
"Enter," Snape's silky voice reached his ears, and he cautiously opened the door and walked in.
"Potter!" the professor seemed surprised to see him. "To what do I owe this unexpected visit? Do you want to collect your belongings? There are in the cupboard in my classroom. Potions is your first class tomorrow, I thought it easier to leave them there."
Harry moved to stand in front of the desk.
"I just wanted to apologise for running out of class," he replied. "It won't happen again."
"You did the right thing," Snape surprised him by saying. "I hope that if you do ever need to run out again, that you do. That is not permission to leave whenever you feel like, however. I must say, though, that I misjudged you. You were not pampered as a child, you most certainly are not spoiled, and you are very different from your father."
Harry smiled, knowing that this was the closest to an apology Snape would ever give him in regards to his past behaviour towards Harry.
"Thank you sir," he said, turning to leave.
He'd just reached the door when Snape spoke again.
"And Potter? Try not to be so clumsy in future."
HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDM
When Harry arrived back at Gryffindor Tower, everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him. He made his way through the silent room, hearing the whispering start behind him. Pausing outside the sixth year dorm door, he took a deep breath. He'd seen Dean, Seamus and Neville down in the Common Room, meaning that Hermione and Ron had kicked them out, ready to speak to Harry alone as soon as he returned. Pushing the door open, he entered.
Sure enough, Ron and Hermione were sitting, waiting, on his bed.
"Harry! Thank goodness! Are you ok?" Hermione asked. "Were where you?"
"I was with Dumbledore," Harry replied.
"What happened in Potions mate?" Ron asked. "We were worried."
"Just a minute," Harry grabbed his pyjamas. "I want to be comfortable first."
Heading into the bathroom, he changed and cleaned his teeth. Checking that his sleeves were completely rolled down, and neither his scars nor his tattoo could be seen, he headed back into the dorm and climbed onto his bed, pulling a blanket around his shoulders.
"You know that the Dursleys hate me, right?" his friends nodded. "Well, I never told you this, but Vernon also used to beat me…"
By the time he had finished telling the terrible story of his life, Hermione was silently sobbing, and Ron had gone as white as a sheet, staring at Harry as though he'd never properly seen him before.
"Oh Harry!" Hermione launched herself onto him, holding him tightly. "You must have been so scared, and hurting so much! I can't believe that you never told us! I know that you thought he'd kill you if you told, but you must realised that you were safe at Hogwarts!"
"I did," Harry admitted. "But I was still scared and ashamed. A wizard, beaten by a muggle. I couldn't stand anyone knowing."
"Mate, I'm so sorry," Ron croaked. "I should have realised. You never shower or change in front of us lads. You shouldn't have had to go through that, especially alone."
"It's ok," Harry reassured his friends. "I'm away from that now. I'm coping. I've got some good friends at New Beginnings, and had some great help from the counsellor."
"That's one good thing," Hermione sniffed, sitting up. "And the bastards are going to get what's coming to them in court."
"Why don't you bring them to court here in the Wizarding world?" Ron asked. "I've heard that the muggle justice system isn't always that good. At least here, you can work out who's telling the truth easily enough."
Harry shook his head.
"They're already being processed in the muggle system, it would seem strange that I've suddenly dropped the charges against them," he said. "Besides, no matter how bad the muggle justice system is, there's too much evidence against them. They've no chance of getting off. Simon's never lost a case that he's taken on for a New Beginnings client. There's plenty of forensic evidence to support me, plus Angelica, the doctor at New Beginnings, and my friends' statements. There's no way any of the Dursleys can win the case."
Ron nodded, and Harry, feeling tired, yawned widely. Immediately Hermione insisted that he get some rest.
"Ok, night," Harry smiled, letting her tuck him in, and accepting another hug, which Ron uncharacteristically joined in on, before slipping happily into the darkness.
A/N: Well, that was it! Hope you liked it! Please review!
Len