Yes! I know it's been away, but I have no excuse, I'm still deciding where to go with this, as Katherine has again killed me with her bamfness, as will forever remain in my heart as one of my favourite characters ever. And no, I can not wait until I see her again.
3.
The Boy Who Loved Her Too Much
Who I was expecting when I turned around I wasn't quite sure, half of me expected the sweet Southern boy with the sweet smile and boring personality. But he was dead, I had killed him, and I didn't want him standing there anyway. Instead it was a stranger wearing a slightly familiar face.
I tried not to stare; the girl I was pretending to be wouldn't stare. "You Alright?" he asked, was I alright? No not me, Elena, was Elena alright? After what I had seen outside, it looked like quite an ordeal, but I guessed I was fine "Yeah" I said "I'm good". He said he would catch up later, he had to make sure everything was okay, which was just the opportunity I needed.
I knew where she lived, Isobel had informed me of it all, I walked alone in the night, the town was still ripe with panic, that familiar buzz in the air that went along when humans saw something they couldn't understand. The buzz was just all too familiar, it grows dull after so long. The house was simple, my guess was not very old, light poured out of it, as I wondered how I was going to get inside, Damon, of all people exited the door again.
"What are you doing here?" I blurted before I could stop, hoping that was something my doppelganger would say. The wind was warm, it was May after all, I met Damon in May of 1864, was it really 145 years ago? Was Damon really once a simple boy, who was in far over his head with some one who could never love him?
Because if this was true, I found it very difficult to remember. All I could see was the thing I made, 145 years of destruction. But I sensed something flickering, no, it was a flame, inside of him, something he himself was not fully aware of. That even I couldn't put out, it was the humanity in him, the one he denied to himself, the one I tried to take away.
That was the problem with Damon, he confused humanity with pain, and Damon couldn't stand pain. I knew that much. He looked a little sad when he answered "A failed and feeble attempt of doing the right thing" he gave me a quick smirk. "Which was?" I sighed "It's not important" he said quickly, which was so very much like him.
"Let me take those for you" he gestured to the clothes that were not mine, "Thank you" I said, curious know, what was going happen. I saw the way he looked at her, looked at me. It was hopeless and he knew it, that was why it was so beautiful.
"You know I came to this town wanting to destroy it" "Tonight I found myself wanting to protect it" he stopped, as I let the words he was saying to me sink in, these words that were not meant for me. How could he not tell? Flesh is only skin deep, the soul is much larger Damon Salvatore you simple, tragic thing.
"How does that happen?" he asked me, I didn't know, I have never wanted to save anything. "I'm not a hero Elena, I don't do good, it's not in me" more than you know love, I wanted to say. My boy, who had thought he was quite the monster, had saved the day, something he could not see, was just how much better he was.
"Maybe it is" I said he seemed to think for a moment "No" he decided "No, it's reserved for my brother and you, and Bonnie" "Even though she has ever reason to hate me still helped Stefan save me" I was simply listening now, watching the painting that was his face, "Why do you sound so surprised?" I asked him
"Because, she did it for you" "Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving" oh you are my dear, you have no idea "And I wanted to thank you for that" "You're welcome"
what else could I say? It was wrong, somewhere I knew, that these words were spoken to me, words I would never deserve, but I couldn't find in myself to care, and I became surprised, for just a moment, somewhere small, wished those words were mine.
And then he was close, closer than he should be, but I wouldn't push him away. So he kissed my check, like he did so many times. And he looked at me, with those sad eyes, asking me whether or not it was right. I knew quite well, this Human girl would push him away, would run into the house.
But for this moment I didn't have to be Elena, I could just get all the privilege of wearing her face. He moved slowly, as he always did, hesitating a few times, aware of what this moment meant, of what he was doing, but I didn't say no. And there it was, that kiss. Why could I remember how he kissed?
I had kissed so many people and yet he was still seared on my brain, why? I could pretend it was simple nostalgia, lust, whatever. But it didn't explain why I kissed him back. Or why he held my face in his hands, as I deepened the kiss. Then I heard the door open. We pulled away quickly.
As I faced a woman with light hair and a shocked expression, this was Jenna Sommers, Elena's aunt. "Hi" I said, trying to look shameful about the moment she caught us in, I had to be Elena again.
"It's late, you should probably come inside" she said, just the invitation I needed, I didn't look at him as I walked inside, but I could feel his eyes staring even as the door closed, I could always feel them. Jenna turned to me "What are you doing?" she asked, "I- don't want to talk about it" I answered, and turned away.
So yeah, I'm not buying this "Katherine loves Stefan nonsense" in case you were wondering, because quite clearly I'm a KatherinexDamon shipper for life.