Life and Love: Chapter 04
Chikorita-Trainer1
T
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: Bruce might seem a tad harsh in this chapter. Just know, I modeled his anger off of my own father's. I love my dad, of course, but sometimes he loses his temper and can be unreasonably cruel. So, I'm writing from experience, just so y'all know.
Knowing he was in for it, Damian reluctantly returned home and arrived in the Batcave to greet his father, who could not have looked more pissed off if he tried.
"Father, I can explain," Damian began, although immediately regretting having started his sentence with that, because he really wasn't ready to explain everything he'd been going through.
"I don't need explanations, I need you to understand something!" Bruce yelled. "I need you to understand that when you put yourself in danger, you put the whole city in danger!"
Damian gulped, intimidated, but also anticipating that his father was going to bring up his history as an assassin. He was prepared to fight, if that's what it came to.
"Damian, I need to know that you're safe. When I say you can't go out because there is a CHILD MOLESTER out there, I need you to STAY INSIDE! If I don't know you're safe, I can't do my job. I can't focus on the mission, I can't effectively protect this city. Before I can make sure the citizens of Gotham are safe, I need to make sure MY SON IS SAFE. You continue to make my life…so difficult…I just don't know what to do sometimes."
Damian's heart clenched in his chest; his father had never said anything that cutting before.
"So I'm a burden?" he asked. Bruce's eyes narrowed.
"Don't try to put this on me," he said. "Don't try to turn this around and make it about you not feeling appreciated or…about…me not showing you I care in the right way. You know I love you, you know I would do anything for you, and you know damn well I don't consider you a burden."
Damian looked down. Clearly his father wasn't going to allow Damian's attitude and argumentative skills to twist the situation around. Damian knew he'd misbehaved, and he wasn't going to try to get out of it.
He knew only one thing would clear the room of anger and replace it with understanding, and that would be his coming out. But he just wasn't ready to do that.
"Can you just ground me, or send me to my room or something?" he groaned.
"No. I'm not letting you off the hook that easily!" Bruce growled and rose up from his chair.
"I'm sorry, Father. I don't like it when you shut me out-"
"I did NOT shut you out! I told you exactly why I didn't want you out there. I can sympathize with you when you get angry when I don't tell you who we're facing, but that wasn't the case tonight. Do you realize the threat of a CHILD MOLESTER? Do you even know what that means?!"
"Yes, I know what it means to be molested, Father," Damian's voice cracked, and he knew he was about to cry. He lifted his hand up to cover his eyes as he turned away. "Can we please do this once you've calmed down?"
"NO! I DON'T HAVE TO CALM DOWN! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU!" Bruce bellowed. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO TO GET YOU TO OBEY ME! I certainly can't imprison you in this house, because you're an escape artist! I can't threaten to take Robin away from you, because I already know that won't stop you. YELLING AT YOU IS THE ONLY CARD I HAVE LEFT TO PLAY! BUT IT STILL DOESN'T SEEM TO BE SINKING IN!"
Damian sniffed, and blinked back tears, trying to hold his ground. But Bruce wasn't through with him yet.
"But you wouldn't know anything about what I go through, would you?" he sighed, condescendingly. "No, you don't know what it's like to care for another person. You've never experienced an inexplicable amount of love for another human being so strong that you don't even fully understand it. So why do I expect you to get it?"
Damian couldn't take it anymore. He was already in tears. He pushed past his father and ran out of the Cave, whimpering.
Bruce just stood with his arms out at his sides, as if saying "what the fuck?" to nobody in particular.
Alfred waited a moment and then stepped out from the shadows.
"Not your finest hour, Master Bruce," he stated.
"That child is impossible!" Bruce declared. "What does he not get? Why does he keep doing the opposite of what I say? What do I have to do- tell him to GO OUT THERE and fight, just so he deliberately DOESN'T? Is that the only way to keep him safe?"
"What you have to do is calm down, Master Bruce," Alfred insisted, offering Bruce a cup of tea from a tray. The Batman sipped it and sat down.
"I'm fearing those days more and more," said Bruce. "Those days when he becomes a teenager, and starts yelling "I HATE YOU!" and slams his bedroom door. I'm really not looking forward to that."
"Then tell him so, Master Bruce," said Alfred. "Master Damian constantly cries out not only for your approval, but for your concern. But you only show that concern through aggression and overprotection. Perhaps if you showed a general interest in your son's life, he wouldn't have to sneak around just to find something productive to do."
Bruce only responded with a defeated grumble under his breath, and sipped some more tea.
Damian was lying on his bed in the dark, listening to his iPod when Bruce found him.
"Damian?" he said softly. Damian didn't hear him, but he saw the door opening, and promptly sat up and removed his headphones.
"What?" he growled.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you," said Bruce. "I hate it when I don't know where you are, OK? I hate…not knowing. I know I'm coming off as a control freak, but it's not the same thing. I don't want to micromanage every little thing in your life, but I do want to know I have enough of your respect to trust you to keep yourself safe when I'm not around."
"Leave me alone."
"I'm sorry, Damian. I admit it, I was wrong to react that way-"
"You basically said I'm incapable of love. That IS what you said," Damian spat, bitterly.
"No, I didn't mean-"
"You have no idea what I feel, Father. You have NO IDEA what's important to me and how great my capacity for love is."
"Then tell me, son. Please. Let me in," Bruce begged.
"JUST GO AWAY!" screamed the ten-year-old.
Bruce did as he was told.
END OF CHAPTER 04
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