Izaya was forced to retreat from the comfort of his own mind when he felt someone drape something over him.
Before he could open his eyes, he was pushed forward into a hard surface.
Izaya stilled, but he felt no pain.
Shinra? Namie?
For those were the only two people who would approach him.
The raven haired man opened his eyes, and was met with the sight of a white tuxedo.
Remembering the white tuxedo Shinra had worn in place of his usual lab coat, Izaya smiled. He allowed his hand to come up to clutch at the material, murmuring, "You didn't have to come back, Shinra. Embracing me again – Celty would be jealous, you know?"
There was no reply. Izaya frowned. "Eh? Or are you Celty? But you're not wearing a dress….could it be, Shinra suddenly has a cross-dressing fetish? Hey hey, if you embrace me like this, Shinra would be jealous!"
There was still no reply. Izaya's heart sped up in his chest.
"Not Celty then? Your chest is too hard anyway, so you're definitely a man. Fine, I'll play your game. Dotachin?"
"….You can't be Shiki-san, right?"
The only form of reply came in the arms around him tightening and his head being shoved further into the unknown man's chest.
"Ouch. Alright I get it, Shiki-san. Kidding. Shiki-san would never do something like this….you must be someone who hates Shiki-san then? His enemy? But why would you hug me? Could it be, you wanted to kidnap me, but after seeing my beautiful face, you wanted me for yourself? Hahaha! I'm honoured, really, human, but my heart is already taken. By a monster."
There was no movement. Izaya tried to pry himself away, but a hand came to rest on the back of his head, keeping his face buried in the white fabric.
"Ugh, fine fine. Is this what kidnappers do nowadays? Instead of a gun they threaten to suffocate the victim to death? Sorry kidnapper-san, it's been a long time since I've been kidnapped you see, so I can't really remember kidnapper politics right now."
There was a growl that sounded strangely familiar. Izaya laughed.
"Haha. I see, you hate my voice huh? You remind me of Shizu-chan – that's Heiwajima Shizuo, by the way. Hey kidnapper-san, why don't you just kill me already? My life isn't worth living anymore."
The hand on his hair grabbed roughly onto silky black strands.
"Hey, not the hair. Even Namie likes it, you know?"
"So you don't want to kill me, huh? Interesting. Could it be, you've fallen in love with me at first sight, kidnapper-san? Hahahaha! What am I, a heroine in a shoujo manga? Will you take me to your lair now and keep me all to yourself? You could, you know. It's not like anyone needs me anyway."
There was silence. Izaya smiled tiredly into the white shirt of the unknown man.
"I really don't know who you are, nor do I really care. I'd say you were Tsukumoya, and you've finally decided to reveal your identity to me. Because Shinra wouldn't keep quiet for this long."
"Maybe you are Tsukumoya. How surprising, I had the impression that you were a sort of monster, Tsukumoya Shinichi, with your 24/7 chatroom. Or maybe you're a human, but mute. Ah I see, that would make sense too, why you have a 24/7 chatroom."
"But wait – you just growled just now, didn't you? So you can't be mute. And you can't be Tsukumoya Shinichi either – unless he has a different personality than he has online. He pisses me off, that guy- he's the only one who pisses me off besides Shizu-chan."
Izaya dug his fingernails into the white fabric.
"Because Shizu-chan will always piss me off the most. That monster. Making me love him when I don't want to. And now even making me admit my love for him. I really hate him."
The body he was laying on tensed. Izaya stared, then chuckled.
"I see. I see, kidnapper-san. You hate Heiwajima Shizuo too? We'd get along well! Just as long as you don't touch him. He's still mine."
"Because you're that, aren't you? Kidnapper. Why would anyone approach me otherwise? Or could it be, you're Kida Masaomi? Hey Masaomi, when did you get so big? Hahaha! How's Saki-chan?"
"Ah wait, why would you be with me if you could be with Saki-chan? Illogical. So you're not Masaomi then. Ahh fine I officially give up on guessing who you are. This game is yours. I'm in no mood to play right now."
There was as usual, no answer, but the arms around him tightened gently. Izaya smiled wryly.
"Because I don't really care who you are. I don't know who you are and I don't care, I only care that you're here. That I'm not alone. So thanks….kidnapper-san."
Izaya chuckled, and pushed himself closer to the unknown man's chest. "It's cold, you know?" He murmured. "It's so cold, I saw the sky just now, it looked like it was going to rain. But you're warm. You're so warm, kidnapper-san. I wonder if Shizu-chan will be warm like this."
Izaya settled into the comforting warmth that enveloped his broken heart as the man's hand ran through his hair.
"Heh, you like my hair too, kidnapper-san? I guess it's the only thing anyone will ever like about me, huh? Hey since you know me, you know Shizu-chan, right? Heiwajima Shizuo. And since you're here, why don't you listen to a story?"
"About Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya."
…
…
…
"– So, that's how I met Shizu-chan! It's all Shinra's fault really, and he neglected to tell me I was in love. Such a bastard, right? Of course, I didn't know I was in love – eh was I in love then? Ahh I don't know, I only recently figured out I'm in love after all."
"Yup, you heard right. I, Orihara Izaya, am in love with Heiwajima Shizuo. Cruel, isn't it? I mean, I assume you know I'm Orihara Izaya, kidnapper-san? If you don't, well, surprise! Orihara Izaya has a heart! Apparently. And if you don't even know what Orihara Izaya looks like, well here he is! Just a little worse for wear. Sorry, the packaging's been torn, I do apologize for our no refund policy. Yes, that famous information broker is that young – forever 21, actually. Even though it's his birthday today."
The man started, and Izaya blinked, then laughed into the man's chest.
"Hahaha! Of course, you don't know. You're just a kidnapper after all, I guess I'm so charming even kidnappers have second thoughts about kidnapping me! Congratulations, me!"
"Or maybe, you have buddies and you're waiting for them? Ah if you're really a kidnapper I've really let my guard down, allowing you and your buddies to get information on my location…."
"So you know, right? I came here to see Shizu-chan's wedding. Heiwajima Shizuo's wedding. I know, I'm such a masochist. Considering I love him."
Izaya closed his eyes to keep the tears back.
It would be rude to soak the unknown man's shirt with tears, even though it was a kidnapper.
He himself wasn't exactly such a good person either.
"Yeah….Shizu-chan is such a cruel man, isn't he? Shizuo is so cruel. Getting married on the birthday of the man who holds unrequited love for his monstrous being….he's just too cruel."
"It almost makes me, the one whom everyone calls a cruel, heartless bastard, cry."
"Almost, that is – I've shed more than enough tears for him."
Izaya's hands clung on to his kidnapper's shirt.
"You know, I want to see Shizu-chan. I want to see Shizuo."
"But I'm also glad I can't see him. I would die….if he ever saw me like this. If he ever saw how weak I actually am. He's strong. He hates weak people, people he can break. He wouldn't even spare me a thought in his future."
The hand on the back of his head stroked his hair in response, making him smile.
"You're so kind, kidnapper-san. Maybe you aren't a kidnapper, but a secret admirer? Ah that would make sense. But I have no proof, so you're still kidnapper-san. Hey kidnapper-san, is love supposed to hurt this much?"
The hand on his hair stilled. Izaya's broken smile widened.
"It is, huh? Ah I see, we're kindred spirits then. Can't I at least have your name, kidnapper-san?"
The hand gripped his hair tightly. Izaya winced.
"No, huh? Well fine…then at least listen to me, will you? While you wait for your buddies."
"By the way, I must say you're quite smart, kidnapper-san. Wearing a tuxedo to a kidnapping – it's for camouflage, isn't it? Shizuo's so dense he probably won't notice an extra presence in his wedding to his perfect wife. Ahhh….I hate him, but I have to thank him this time – at least I have someone to tell these painful feelings to. Even if it's just a kidnapper who won't even tell me his name."
"…"
"I guess my attempt to make you tell me your name or at least let me hear your voice failed. Can't you at least let me see your face? It isn't so ugly I can't see it, is it? Don't worry, I'm a very accepting man, I will accept you no matter how ugly you are, my lovely human."
His reward for such kind words was the hand pulling at his hair warningly.
"Ow ow that hurts! Don't be mean, my hair is my only good asset according to Namie!"
The hand stopped and instead patted his black locks almost guiltily.
"Oh wow that actually worked. Haha kidnapper-san, you're quite cute! You're actually listening to me like a pet – ouch! Kidding, I was kidding! You're gonna pull out my hair!"
The hand gave one last tug then settled on his hair again. Izaya thought he felt warmth on his head.
"….Hey kidnapper-san, are you blushing? Don't tell me, you think I'm cute too? You think I'm adorable, right? Well I'm glad someone has taste!"
"Awww, I'm honoured – ow!"
Izaya winced as his forehead banged against a hard chest, sending his vision spinning for a moment.
"U-Ugh….what do you keep behind that shirt? An iron plate? Are you some kind of body builder? That hurts….now I'm going to soak your tuxedo with tears of pain….which I really didn't want to, you know…."
His silky hair was ruffled and lips brushed against his forehead apologetically.
Izaya blinked back the tears of pain. He laughed with his sore throat.
"Ha….hahaha….you're too kind, kidnapper-san. It didn't hurt that much, I've been hurt worse by Shizu-chan."
The hand continued ruffling his soft hair gently, making Izaya smile.
"Heh…is it possible to fall in love with someone without even seeing their face? For anyone other than Shinra, who's in love with a headless, faceless woman. Yeah that will be a story for another time."
"Because I think….I may like you a lot. Kidnapper-san. Maybe it's possible for me to fall in love with you, you keep me warm. I don't even know if it's raining right now, you're so warm. And you're so nice to someone everyone hates. Or is it because I'm just looking too pathetic right now?"
"Though….I'll always love Shizu-chan. I'll always love Shizuo. That can't change, I'm afraid. Even when I want it to. But I can't change my heart."
"So, knowing that, could you still love me, I wonder? Love the man everyone hates."
The arms brought him closer to the warm body.
"…Is that a yes? Falling in love with the man you're supposed to kidnap – maybe you're as crazy as I am!"
Izaya laughed a weak maniac's laugh and buried his face in the comfort of the white tuxedo.
"Seriously….why does love hurt so much? My love for humans never hurt this much."
"Why does Shizuo….hate me so much?"
"Why am I so hurt by Shizuo hating me? All my humans hate me, but I will always love them. Their hate doesn't hurt. So why does the hatred of a monster hurt so?"
The tears fell before he knew. Izaya sniffed.
The unknown man embraced him tighter.
"It's illogical, you know? I love only humans, so how can I love a monster?"
"But then again, that monster himself is illogical. He makes illogical things happen, like with his strength. So maybe it isn't so surprising I'm in love with him. In love with the one who defies my logic."
The hand on his head moved. Izaya swallowed, then reached up his arms to bring them around the man.
"Sorry, I must suck at hugging huh? I've never hugged anyone before…."
A hand ran down his back, as if to prove otherwise. Izaya smiled weakly and tightened his own arms around the man, resting on the warm chest.
"I hate Shizuo. I hate how he makes me hurt, I hate how he makes me love him."
"I hate how he's so unfair. Forgetting about the one who stayed in his life for ten years – a decade, when most people can't even stay for a year. Forgetting about the flea who clung to him. And instead marrying a woman he's known for not even half of the time he's known me."
"I mean, don't you think it's unfair? Life is unfair, but this is too unfair….I'm the one who stayed in his life. I'm the one who gave him his feared reputation as the monster of Ikebukuro by showing people how dangerous he can be. I'm the one who tried to give him peace. If I didn't send those gangs after him he wouldn't have built such a dangerous reputation and a lot more unsavoury people would be attacking him and disrupting his life."
"We're not exactly high school sweethearts, but how can he do this? He doesn't even chase me anymore now. When last time he taught himself parkour to chase me. I made him teach himself parkour so he could chase me."
Izaya choked. He inhaled. Then spoke slowly.
"Because….he wouldn't pay attention to me otherwise. Why would someone like him pay attention to someone like me? I'm the kind of person he hates the most."
"Damn….he makes me do things for him without even me knowing I did them for him…..he must be some sort of secret mastermind. Manipulating me like this. I thought I did them to mess with him….but I must have done them to help him, otherwise why would I spend so much time on him? Devising plans for him when I could be doing so much more with my lovely humans? It's illogical. And I'm a logical, rational man, unlike that irrational beast."
"Ha…hahaha…Orihara Izaya helping Heiwajima Shizuo, love really is something huh. I just never thought I'd experience it firsthand."
"…"
There was silence as more tears soaked the white tuxedo.
"Really…."
Izaya's voice was dry.
"Tell me….Kidnapper-san. What can I do?"
"I've done everything. What else do I have to do for his love?"
"Wait, I suppose that's impossible now….so, what do I have to do, so that he won't hurt me, so that he won't hate me, at least?"
"So that he won't break my heart like this?"
His eyes were tired. Izaya closed his eyes, and snuggled closer to the comforting warmth.
"…..Can I say something?"
The voice was rough, gravelly, and naggingly familiar even in his daze and tears.
"Oh you're finally talking. Sure….Kidnapper-san."
The kidnapper cleared his throat.
"I'm not a kidnapper. And Heiwajima Shizuo doesn't hate you."
"Don't be ridiculous. He hates me –"
Izaya stilled, as the masculine, achingly familiar voice spoke.
-No.
-Please, no.
-This isn't funny.
- THIS REALLY ISN'T FUNNY, DAMN IT!
"I don't –"
This isn't….
Hate you –"
Possible…
Do you hate me so much, Gods of Ikebukuro? I know I did a lot of bad things to your city, but at least don't torture my heart like this….!
Please tell me I fell asleep while crying.
- I did, right? I fell asleep and this is a dream.
"Izaya."
Izaya swallowed. His heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. Like it was being torn out of his chest.
The warmth had suddenly turned cold.
"This….."
"This is a dream…..right?"
His voice was desperate, desperate and broken with tears and crushed hope.
Words suddenly appeared in his mind's eye.
kid·nap
verb (used with object), kid·napped or kid·naped, kid·nap·ping or kid·nap·ing.
to steal, carry off, or abduct by force or fraud, especially for use as a hostage or to extract ransom.
His head was pushed off the chest of the 'kidnapper', the one who had kidnapped his heart, as his chin was grabbed, forcing him to look into piercing hazel eyes and a shock of blond hair.
"Choosing now of all times to show me that 1% of trustworthiness….your timing sucks as much as you, shitty flea."