God had been feeling giddy today.

It was the only possible explanation Javier Esposito could come up with to explain the events of the day. Otherwise, everything was far too surreal to have ever, in any sane universe (and how he wanted to hold onto the belief that the universe was not, in fact, out to drive him to the whacko shack), have happened.

First , his partner Kevin Ryan got turned into a woman by an honest to God mad scientist. To make matters worse, Kevin made a stunner of a girl, all big, blue eyes, cupid's bow lips and masses of brown, wavy hair, not to mention the cute little body.

All in all, it was confusing the hell out of Javi, whose brain (and other body parts) was screaming conflicting messages at him. Hot girl…It's Ryan…Your point? He's hot either way…Oh God…What?…Can not deal with this right now…Wimp….

Just to give you an idea of what his internal dialogue had been through the visit to the hospital and then the shopping trip. The evil shopping trip that included a lingerie store. If Ryan hadn't been so damn uncomfortable in the place himself it would have been even weirder. Lanie and Beckett had managed to distract themselves by trying to outfit Ryan and Castle…well, Castle was an odd dude.

Then came the uncomfortable realization that Ryan's neighbors might think it odd that a strange woman was living in his apartment…without him, which was how he had ended up coming home with Javi.

Between the two of them they managed to get the bags of clothes and other apparently necessary female accoutrements into the apartment. A disgruntled, tired, still unused to a female body and hormones Ryan dropped onto the couch and actually pouted when his feet had to stretch to touch the floor when he scooted back into the comfortable cushions.

"Hungry?" Javi asked, hoping to find some busy work so as to avoid staring at his partner, who hadn't taken too well to that sort of treatment.

Ryan looked up at him and actually grinned, a familiar bright smile, as he hopped up and said, "When am I not?"

Obviously, he intended to help with the hunt for food, which was a perfectly normal thing for Ryan to do. They each spent enough time at each other's places that they were comfortable.

Except at the moment, Javi had been hoping to hide in the kitchen, but Ryan, clad in dark, boot cut jeans, a cap sleeved navy Yankees t-shirt and little bumpered Converse sneakers, followed him. Gathering up his resolve, Esposito forged ahead. His buddy was going through enough stuff without having to deal with him getting all weird. Repress, repress, repress.

The sex change had not changed Ryan's eating habits, which Javi had always found mildly appalling and entertaining. The younger man had promptly yanked open the fridge and stuck his head in and Javi nearly gave himself whiplash trying not to check out his partners new ass (Curvier and fuller through the hips, than the male version, his oh so unhelpful brain supplied. Betcha could bounce a quarter off either.)

While he contemplated banging his head into a wall, Ryan hauled out several cartons of Chinese food and sniffed at them, little nose scrunching up like a bunny. Shaking himself out of his stupor, Javi said, "Those are kinda old…."

"Nah, it's still good," Ryan assured him, plopping a frying pan on the stove and pulling out butter eggs and cheese.

Javi took a seat at the table, cause this was gonna be good. When Kevin got hungry, he got creative with food and it always amazed Javi that he actually ate these strange concoctions he'd come up with. Not as adventurous, Esposito found a package of EasyMac and stuck it in the fridge as Ryan tossed butter on the hot pan then cracked 3 eggs into it, breaking them up with a fork before dumping fried rice, seafood lo mein, BBQ pork and bok-choy onto the top and smothering the whole thing with cheese.

Watching him eat that hot mess would be the evenings entertainment. Especially if he went the usual route an poured like half a bottle of hot sauce on the finished product.

Score! The hot sauce came out as Javi was settling in with his Mac and Kevin plated his monstrosity before giving it a liberal dousing. He then commenced to Hoover the mass of food as though it was something normal. Javi figured Ryan's stomach had to be made of titanium or something, cause he was willing to bet the man would eat a tin can if he ever got hungry enough.

After swallowing a bite of Mac, Javi laughed, "We should have videotaped this. That way if any guy gives you trouble about your girl dude status, you could show 'em. Cause no way is a woman eating that. Ever."

Ryan paused his inhalation of the food and frowned. "Oh well," he shrugged, then smirked. "There's always tomorrow."

"Pizza tomorrow," Javi insisted, pointing at Ryan's plate. "I can't watch that two nights in a row."

"You don't know what you're missing."

"Heartburn and food poisoning?"

"At least mine is actual food. Cheese is not supposed to be that color."

This was normal. Banter he could handle. It helped him ignore the other, weirder things. Ryan seemed to sense that and was willing to keep up a stream of back and forth mocking sarcasm as they ate and washed up.

A familiar sense of ease settled over them and Javi wondered why he'd been so worried. This was Ryan. No problems. The rest of the night went fine and as it got later they made the choices to go to sleep, Javi in his room and Ryan on the couch.

As a teasing gesture, Javi had offered to let Kevin use the bathroom to change first, which he did after flipping Javi off. He was still chuckling when Ryan emerged wearing his new jammies, a tank top and shorts set with little penguins on them. And clearly, he had not felt the need to wear a bra to bed.

Offering a strangled goodnight which earned him a look, Javi hustled into the bathroom and practically slammed the door. If he didn't know the sound would alert Ryan to the fact that something was definitly wrong, he'd have just banged his head into the door.

Instead, he contemplated a cold shower.

TBC….