I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Fix You" by Coldplay.
Thanks so much for the reviews. You guys are amazing!
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
She had been running on autopilot since last week. After leaving Lucas's house she locked herself in her room and drew. She hadn't drawn in years and she was almost thankful for the burst of inspiration. Almost. She had been talking to Chris on the phone about recording and lyrics; she still wouldn't leave the house, but work was a necessity. It kept her mind off of things and the fact that Chris was a neutral party that knew nothing was a huge plus. As dawn peeked in through her window on her tenth day of solitude she decided that a run was exactly what she needed.
She pulled her running shorts and a tank top out of her drawers. According to mostly everyone in her life, Peyton Sawyer had been running her entire life. She ran from her feelings and from the people that loved her. Eventually she got tired of it simply being a term used to describe her and she turned it into a hobby.
After she changed she ventured into the empty kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, she watched the sunrise and let out a sad sigh.
"She emerges", Brooke said softly.
Peyton glanced at her best friend. "Hi B", she said with a hoarse voice.
Brooke stood in the archway awkwardly wringing her hands together. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other and let out a quiet sigh. She wanted to ask. She really, really, wanted to. Brooke knew how she felt about everything and the other night she went over to Naley's house and she certainly knew how they felt. But nobody had a clue as to what was running through their blonde's friend head.
"Just ask, Brooke", Peyton sighed.
Brooke sprung into action and took a seat on the stool across from her. "Are you okay?" she asked softly. Peyton internally rolled her eyes.
"I'm fine", she lied.
"Are you sure? Because I mean . . . if my ex-boyfriend kissed me and then—"
"What did you say?" Peyton asked with a glare. Brooke gulped and bit her lip.
"Umm, okay so I kinda went to see Lucas the day after TRIC, but only because you were so upset and I didn't know why", she defended her actions as Peyton's eyes grew.
"He told you about it? God, he is so unbelievable", she grumbled.
"Peyton, sweetie, were you so upset because you found out that night?" Brooke asked softly.
Peyton nodded and gathered her breath before talking. "I knocked on his door and she answered, she was crying and I thought he had told her about the kiss so I started to apologize", she laughed cynically. "Then she shoved her damn hand in front of my face and told me he proposed."
Brooke frowned as Peyton retold the story and was on her feet the second she was done. She spread her arms out and Peyton stepped back.
"I'm gonna go for a run", she mumbled before placing her mug in the sink.
As Brooke watched the front door close with her best friend on the other side she could only think of the shit that would hit the fan once she found out that was the ring that was meant for her.
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Nathan walked down the stairs with a pair of basketball shorts on and a black wifebeater.
"Hey you", Haley said softly from the couch. Nathan smiled at his wife before changing directions and taking a seat next to her.
"Hey babe", he stared at her pensive look and furrowed his brows. "What's the matter?"
"My best friend has no morals", she said with a dead laugh. Nathan wrapped his arm around her and brought her flush against his body.
"Well, look at it this way . . . I'm related to that immoral ass", he said with clenched teeth.
"God he really is an ass. I mean how can he kiss one girl and then propose to another?" she asked in a rage.
"Maybe he's scared?" Nathan offered as a reason. Haley raised a brow and he continued. "I'm not defending anything he's done, but being overwhelmed wouldn't be a surprise. "The kind of love between him and Peyton doesn't come around too often, especially at our age", he said softly.
Haley stared up at him with her big doe eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled at you the other night at TRIC, you were just trying to stand up for me", he smiled down and her and kissed her forehead.
"It's alright . . . sorry I made you think I was gonna do more then yell at him."
Haley smiled and leaned further into his embrace. As her hand caressed the mesh material of his shorts she raised a brow. "We're you going somewhere?"
"Umm, I was hoping to go for a run", he admitted sheepishly.
"Nathan—"
Before she could continue the doorbell rang. Nathan stood and made his way over to the large wooden door.
"Hey", the curly blonde greeted as it opened. Nathan grinned and pulled her into his arms. He was glad that she was here, she had been locked in her room for the past week; he was also glad because of her attire . . . she was in full workout mode.
"How's it going?" guessing by the look on her face his question came out a lot more sympathetic then he meant.
"It's going great", she said with a shrug.
"Nathan who is – oh, Peyton", Nathan heard the tone his wife used and he looked back at his former girlfriend.
"Hales, we're gonna go for a run. See you later", he kissed her cheek quickly and rushed from the house before Haley could protest.
"Thanks for that", Peyton said quietly, "it's like everyone thinks I'm standing on the edge of a cliff waiting to jump", she laughed. Nathan stayed quiet and Peyton groaned before glancing his way. "I'm not you know? Going to throw myself off of a cliff."
"Yeah, I know, but can you blame us for being concerned?"
"Can you even run?" she changed the topic. Nathan grabbed her hand and stopped their walking; he placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke.
"Peyton, I consider you my best friend. If you ever want to talk or need to talk, I'm here for you", he said softly. Peyton smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. She wasn't going to open up any time soon because . . . well denial was an old friend. But she was really glad to know that someone was there.
"Thanks Nate."
He smiled and kissed the top of her head. They broke from their embrace and Nathan sent her a smirk.
"I can still kick your ass", he said smugly as he returned to her topic.
Peyton snorted. "You willing to test that theory . . . gimpy."
Nathan scoffed and shoved her lightly. "On three. One . . . two . . . three!" Nathan shouted and held back to watch as Peyton sprinted down the block.
Lucas had said that she wasn't the same Peyton he used to know, but as far as he could tell she was the same.
She still had those damn walls up.
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Chris and Peyton sat in her office going over a few of the different chords and tempos for some of his songs. Well, really it was Chris talking and Peyton nodding at everything that left his mouth. She had tried to make the most of her day, but really nothing had worked. Her run with Nathan only reminded her of the times she ran with Lucas. She had seen Jamie at the park with Carrie, but all he wanted to do was talk about his Uncle Lucas and the new basketball he gave him. After she had had too much she went home and showered.
Which brought her here. Chris was sitting besides her talking about his music and she mindlessly nodded. She knew she should be paying attention, but she couldn't. This was the first time all week she allowed herself to sit still and that gave her time to think about everything that led up to this moment.
You still love me don't you?
"So I was thinking that instead of keeping the tempo high all the time, I'd start out slow and once I hit the chorus everything would kick in", he stared at her expectantly.
I have to go see Lindsey.
He raised a brow and waited in vain for a response. "And then I was thinking of taking my guitar and using it as a rocket to the sky", she nodded and he decided that he could have some fun with this.
Trust me, I have been the Lindsey between Lucas and Peyton and it is not a pretty place to be.
"Last night after my performance, which you missed", he said pointedly, "I had girls throw themselves at me. Literally, I mean I had to catch them", she mumbled and nodded her head.
Are you kidding? You're Peyton Sawyer; the guy wrote a whole book about how much he loves you.
"One was naked in my backseat after the show. I told her she needed to cover up . . . there was a cop around and I'm pretty sure she was a minor, so I threw her a blanket."
It has always been Lucas and Peyton, you guys are meant to be together, that's the way it's supposed to be.
"I'm considering asking Haley to do another duet. I know the last time we did one it didn't end well, but this time I swear I would get her to sleep with me", he joked.
Lindsey, I'm sorry, I never wanted to . . .
"I was thinking that at all the performances I can call a girl on stage and just do it, right there in front of thousands. I know what you're thinking; it's crazy, but I've never been one to get performance anxiety . . .
Lucas asked me to marry him.
"You've heard of my sex tape, right? A Night with the Keller. If you haven't I've got some extras . . . maybe me you and Brooke can umm, make a night of it", he wiggled his brows suggestively and then sighed when he still got no answer.
Don't marry her.
"So after the whole record thing is done I'm thinking of joining a cult. I'm not sure why, but it seems like a good time; everyone coming together to do things. Of course I'm not big on blood, but who says you have to look at it before drinking it", he said with a shrug.
I'm still in love with you.
"Jamie's really my kid. It's a long story that I'd rather not get in to", he said as he held his hands in front of him.
I'm in love with her, Peyton.
"Damnit!" she yelled out as she ran a hand threw her curls. Chris flinched in shock at her outburst.
"You're back", he teased.
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked in frustration.
"Nothing", he muttered, "what's going on with you today?" he asked hesitantly.
She looked at the man that she had hated in high school. He ruined Haley and Nathan's marriage. He had seduced Brooke and caused her pain. He was cocky, and smug, and anything but humble.
"Seriously, Peyton you're freaking me out."
The genuine concern in his voice caused Peyton to blink in shock. Maybe he really wasn't that guy anymore? Whatever it was she could knowingly look back at this moment and say without a doubt Chris Keller had set something off in her. Maybe it was those blue eyes?
"I told him he was everywhere and I made it seem like I hated that. I had said that I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, that I never missed him, but I did. I missed him everyday. Hell, I still miss him; he's so close and still so far away from me. I told everyone that I didn't come back for him. That I was here because LA wasn't what I had thought it would be. I was so adamant about not being here for him that I almost believed it! But I did, I came back for him. Of course I came back for him. He's Lucas Scott for God's sake. I told everyone that I'm okay, but I'm so far from okay that . . ."
Before she could speak anymore Chris wrapped his arms around her. He didn't know why, but as he listened to her rant he felt the need to comfort her. The heartache she was going through was the kind that love songs were written about. The true pain and utter devastation that the person you love loves someone else.
He pulled her back at arms length and stared into her eyes.
"It's gonna be alright", he whispered.
He knew he couldn't really promise her that.
But as he stared into her water filled green eyes with gold specs he knew he would do everything in his power to make that happen.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I know that I used this song with a LP scene in another fic of mine; idk if you know that or not, but I do and I just wanted to address it lol. I tried really hard to find another song because I don't really like to repeat them, but this went really well with it. Let me know what you think!