Thanks to all that have reviewed i love you all ajulson-i hope there will be more cliffys that are good Sulkyn the Powerless- i'll try to quicken but i've already wrote some of this fic so i drags for a few chappys but then gets intresting AmethystDragon81- i'm glad your liking this :)

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Buffy froze at the bottom of the stairs to his question. She looked Spike in the eyes. As a tear fell down her cheek, her hand rose and touched his cheek. Spike looked deeply into her eyes blinking back his own tears. He was touched the way she felt him so softly and carefully. He wanted her to answer his question, but he was dreading her answer. Buffy stood for a few minutes admiring his face. As he looked into her eyes with worry and horror Buffy spoke.

"Sp-Spike I honestly don't know what I want or love. But am sure its not you. You have gone for so long and you expect everything to be how it was but it can't. I just have no idea. The best chance between us if there even can be an us, I'm sorry Spike." Buffy spoke softly. She moved her hand down his face.

"I can't give you an answer so soon. But I admit, I still have feelings for you and they won't go away. But I don't know if it is love. I hope you don't hate me for this, but it's how I feel." Another tear rolled down her cheek.

"Buffy!" Spike shouted. She was about to turn to head to bed.

"I could never hurt you or hate you ,you know. I still love you with all of my soul and my unlife."

Spike grabbed Buffy's hand. He was on his knees in front of her.

"Buffy Thank you for not staking me." He smiled.

"I ...uh… But do you think we could still have a chance together? To start over and have a new life?"

"Buffy, I cant let you go again so easily. It would most definitely kill me for good. I need you ,I want you, I love you."

Spike dropped his head not to show her the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

"Buffy what you said in the cave, do you mean it?" Buffy nodded, eyes filling with her own emotion for Spike.

"I meant every word Spike. But that was long ago. I meant it then but now I'm not so sure. With you gone and all." Buffy whispered.

"Then Buffy, why can't you love me again? I still love you the same or more than when I left. Buffy you have to understand how much it's hurting inside now, how much pain it is to see you like this and what I did to you. I-I-I'm So sorry! I didn't mean to." Spike was crying now "I just though you didn't need me around anymore."

Buffy sat on the stairs, still holding Spike's hand. She held it tightly.

"Spike, I didn't say I can't love you again. It's just that I have missed you for so long and I understand now what you felt. But you must understand, you are my lifeline Spike. I needed you more than anything, I still do. Do you even know how many times I sit crying over you still? I loved you with my heart. You showed me that I was alive and loved. And I love you for that. For making me feel."

She let go of Spike's hand and broke down, putting her head in her hands, crying. Spike was also crying as well. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't help it. The way Buffy was filling him with emotion was overwhelming. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Spike got up from his knees and sat near Buffy on the stairs and watched her cry as he did. She looked up and Spike met her gaze with big, red eyes.

"You were crying, why?" Buffy asked still upset and sobbing.

"Because of you pet. I hate to see you like this and with everything that has just been said, it's a little to much for Spike." He smiled. Buffy went in and put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you Spike. More than you could ever imagine." she sobbed. Spike felt like it was his duty to comfort Buffy. He immediately put his arms around Buffy as if it was mandatory.

"Missed you too, pet." he spoke softly resting his head on her shoulders and hugging her tightly like she was going to disappear. They held each other for a few moments before Buffy rose her head, smiled at him and he smiled back. She go up and wiped her eyes. Spike pouted from the loss of contact, but he knew she was beginning to forgive him. Or so he thought.

"Well I'm going to bed. We will talk more in the morning ok? But understand I wont let you go ever again Spike. I need you around." She smiled. Spike seemed pleased by her comments. He knew he was wanted.

"Night luv" he said.

"Night William." She kissed him on his cheek and walked up the stairs to her bedroom while Spike was left in amazement. She kissed him and called him William. He smiled to himself hoping everything was going to be alright. He got himself on Buffy's sofa and wrapped himself up in the covers she had provided him. He knew that he shouldn't, but he took his clothes off because it helped him sleep better. He climbed into the cover and all he could think about was Buffy. When he finally began to relax, he closed his eyes and whispered,

"Good night my Slayer."

Thanks to AmethystDragon81 for betaing this chappy for me : )