We tromp single-file through a rather busy cafeteria. All I can concentrate on is how much I really don't want to glance behind me.
And then I do it again.
"I'm telling you, Boomer's going to regret making me a sidekick." Zack states for what I swear is the hundred millionth time. I wonder how he can manage to keep all the food on his tray while he's flailing one of his arms about in a rebellious fashion.
As if his fool-proof argument of 'he's going to regret it' needed ANY more supporting facts, Zach continued in his angered drawl. "One day he's going to be all alone, walking to his car… And drop his keys." I blinked. Puh-LEEZE tell me that this wasn't going where I thought it was going.
"…And I won't glow to help him find 'em!" He finished triumphantly.
Part of my brain wanted to explode.
As if on queue, our favorite screaming coach stood up from a nearby lunch table. "You got a problem with me?" He asked in his own, pompous fashion. My muscles froze on the spot. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Zach splattered against the wall once more. Although, based off the last ten, fifteen minutes of his never-ending spout about how he was to teach everyone a lesson in heroism, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone ELSE in our party were looking forward to the sight.
Zach looked as though he were about to crap himself. "N-No." He stammered. All of the sudden, we all seemed to be miles away. Ethan was the only one who stood by his side. Part of me wanted to yell at him to get out of the way.
"No WHAT?" Coach Boomer snarled, puffing out his chest. Zach responded quickly. "No SIR!" He said, almost frantically. "No Sir… No Sir…"
Just when I feared Zach was about to start to cry, Coach Boomer grew a large head of orange hair. I blinked. THAT was a new trick.
To follow up his orange hair, he also spawned a blue baseball cap and a tacky orange and yellow ensemble. I groaned. It was only….Only… Oh, old Whatshisname, fresh from his throng of stuck-up heroes to-be. I shouldn't have been surprised. Coach Boomer didn't seem like the kind of guy to associate closely with a lunch table full of male students.
…Or was he?
"Just messin' with ya, sidekick." He slurred, patting Zach on the shoulder and returning to his giggling cronies. I rolled my eyes. Heroes were already shaping up to be my least favorite of people at this school.
Zach struggled forming words in response to the cruel trick that had just been played upon him. He opened his mouth, only to close it again. It was almost like a large, yellow fish. As if it were actually a decent rebuttal, Ethan shouted, "You're not supposed to use your powers outside of the school gym!!"
Sometimes I wonder why I even hang out with that kid.
Defeated, Zach hung his head and returned to our line of people, this time becoming eerily silent. I didn't like it. For some reason. As much as I hated to admit it, Zach just wasn't Zach unless he was yammering on about something. While Ethan and Forest Nymph were scouting for a table, I fell back to talk to him.
His head was slung down, as though he were examining something intensely interesting on his sandwich. He glanced pathetically up at me, before finally letting his sights fall back to the bread on his platter. "Oh, come ON." I said, a little too sharply than I would have liked. "It's not THAT bad."
"I feel so stupid." Zach muttered. "I mean… GLOWING? What kind of lame power is THAT?" He sighed. My heart wrenched.
…Wait.
My heart did NOT wrench.
It simply… um… Sighed in pity!
Yes. My heart SIGHED IN PITY.
"Don't say that." I said, joining his gaze on his food. I spoke before I could refrain from the sappy words that were about to be thrown from my mouth like vomit. "You have amazing confidence. Never loose it."
He looked up at me as though I had just given him a thousand dollars and a puppy. My brain scrambled to find something that could cut the schmaltzy mood that I had just so cleverly laid out.
"Besides…" I continued quickly. "I can always just leave a few guinea pig pellets in his hat one of these days. See how cocky he feels after THAT."
Zach grinned.
I blushed.
Before the mood could get any more awkward, Ethan shouted something about finding a table on the far side of the cafeteria. I couldn't begin to imagine the kind of relief that followed that statement.
Without a word, I left Zach's side and rushed to sit next to Ethan. No need to make things any more… Strange.
I shouldn't worry. Because whenever things get to be just a little too awkward, I it seems as though I can count on the All American to shift problems over to his side of the table.
"Okay am I crazy or is that guy really looking at me."
He muttered the words as though the angry looking boy behind him could tell if he were talking, despite the fact that his back was to him. I leaned to the left, so as to see just who it was who was staring so intently.
Why. If it isn't my very favorite walking pun. Warren Peace.
What IS IT with superheroes and have ridiculously cheesy names? Warren Peace? WAR 'n PEACE? Come on… You'd think that his parents wouldn't be so idiotic. Even I can admit that my own name is a little sweet around the edges… My name's Magenta, therefore I must wear all purple.
And ultimately open myself up to be the butt of endless jokes throughout my years in middle school.
'Why don't you dye your hair blue and call yourself Aqua?'
'How's it going MAROON?'
'How're your parents, Scarlet and Navy?'
I just like PURPLE, okay?!
My mind snapped away from this barrage of repressed memories as Zach opened his mouth to say something slightly helpful for once. "Dude…" He said, avoiding eye contact with Warren, "That's Warren Peace."
Green Bean responded almost immediately. "THAT'S Warren Peace? I've heard about him… His Mom's a superhero and his Dad's a super villain. Barron Battle." I stared at her. How did she know that? I'd known Warren for years… He'd gone to my elementary school, yet even the most gossipy of girls never mentioned anything about his star-crossed parents.
You know… A beautiful heroine falling into the arms of the very villain that she'd just apprehended… That's almost romantic.
…Not that I'm big on romance, you know.
"So where do I come in?" He stammered.
Ethan calmly filled the poor boy in. "Your dad busted his dad. Quadruple life sentence."
I piped up before I could stop myself. "No chance of parole until AFTER his third life." What can I say; this was my only chance to prove that I knew something on the matter!
He sighed pathetically. "That's great. My first day of Sky High and I already have an archenemy. Hmm."
This small break in conversation gave me a chance to connect some dots. Warren Peace seemed to hate Mr. Stars n' Stripes quite a bit… Your dad busted his dad… Patriotic colors… Warren hates him…
Wait.
Wait just ONE MINUTE.
Uncle Sam Junior's Dad is THE COMMANDER?
No wonder that bus driver guy was so excited about the prospect of meeting this kid!!
So… This sloppy excuse for a teenage boy is really Will Stronghold.
Not that I should be all that impressed. My Mom said that The Commander's a little full of himself. At least now I have a name for boy sitting across from me. Will.
By the time I finally began to tune into the conversation that had seemingly already passed. I was a little grateful. I had no more to say on the subject.
The table was silent for a few uncomfortable moments. It seemed as though no one else had any more to say on the subject either. Thankfully, we has a resident clown to cheer up the rest of us.
"Um…" Zach began sheepishly, feebly opening his pudding cup so he could seem nonchalant.
"…What's a hero-sidekick dichotomy?"
I felt a sudden urge to slap my forehead. It seemed like that was happening a lot recently.
Still. It seemed as though this obviously stupid question was just the medicine needed to clear up the awkward air around the table. Flower Child looked all too happy to respond. And quickly.
"Well, first, a dichotomy is defined as two groups that are initially similar but upon closer inspection prove to be contradictory opposites. Such is the hero-sidekick ideal. To separate the students at this school into two opposite groups is nothing short of racial segregation. The masochistic desires of the public 'gifted' school system is only worsened by the chauvinist post-Vietnam War heroes that give it life in such an already flawed society…"
My, did this girl like to use big words. Maybe it made her feel smarter or something. At least she was passionate about something. I should vote for her for president someday.
One thing was for sure… Zach didn't understand a single word.
Saved by the bell. It was time for the rest of power placement.
THIS aught to be interesting.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I'm not going to lie.
I, too, had to look up the definition of 'dichotomy'.
-awkward chuckle-
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