Seriously, screw Level One dungeons. Today I felt like attempting to conquer Joyous Tower just to see what it's like at the top and I ended up getting pummeled at the 60th floor. The only redeeming factor to those dungeons is the sweet items they contain. Oh, and here's the next chapter, which apparently has nothing to do with what I just now said.

It seems as though Arceus is the sanest one in this series so far, which is quite fitting since he's GOD.

Celebi eventually returned to the Legendary Headquarters. The entire headquarters was surrounded by a beautiful garden with colorful flowers everywhere and Beautiflies swarming all over the place. Celebi was forlorn and tears had formed in her eyes. Regirock was sitting at one of the stone benches because he wanted to avoid the madness inside the HQ. Celebi saw him, but didn't bother to speak to him, and only passed by him without a word. Regirock, however, saw that Celebi was sad and decided to counsel her.

"Celebi?" Regirock asked. "What's up?"

"Arceus, that's what's up."

"What about him?"

"No matter how many times I straight up tell him, I can never seem to get him to know my crush on him!"

"Wait, you're in love with Arceus? Oh, geeze." Regirock mumbled. "It's gonna be one of those fanfictions." Celebi glared at Regirock. "Uhh, I mean don't worry, Celebi. I'm sure something will turn up eventually."

Celebi sighed. "If only I can make him understand." Music begins playing.

"Oh, please tell me you're not gonna sing a musical number."

"Well, how else am I going to reveal how I truly feel?"

"Good point," Regirock sighed. "Let's make this quick and painlessly as possible."

Celebi began singing as music played. "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?"

A record scratched, halting the music, as Regirock interrupted Celebi. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's already an existing song! You can't sing an existing song or we might have to deal with copyright issues."

"Yet we're allowed to make poorly-conceived pop culture references and bash on Disney Channel sitcoms?"

"Sing something else."

"Okay." Music started up again. Celebi began singing again. "Tale as old as time. True as it may be."

"STOP! JUST STOP! That already exists as a song as well!"

"Man, why do all the good ideas have to already be taken? Can I have another chance?"

"Sure, whatever. Just try to be original."

"Alright!" The music started up again as Celebi cleared her throat. She began singing one last time. "The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen."

"SHUT UP! Okay, forget about the musical number and tell me where Arceus is already! He hasn't been seen at the Legendary Headquarters in days."

"Fine, I'm going to go ahead and tell you, but please don't tell Arceus I did. I promised him I would keep his plan a secret."

"What plan?"

"Arceus quit his job and left the others in change so that they would be forced to act more responsible."

"Quit his job?! Are you serious?!"

"Regirock, Don't get mad."

"Mad?! Do you realize what has happened ever since Arceus left?!"

"Well, since I haven't been here a while, I don't think so. What happened?"

"Just...just come and see."

Regirock let Celebi into the Headquarters. Inside, everything was smashed and broken. The entire place was filthy.

"Oh, my goodness!" Celebi exclaimed in shock. "What on Earth happened here?!"

"Everyone went feral, that's what. Because Arceus wasn't there to control them."

"Oh, dear. You should've done something to stop them."

"What was I supposed to do? Lecture them? They don't care! They'll just cover their ears and spout gibberish before I even have a chance to speak!"

"This is bad. Arceus is going to be so furious when he comes home to check on everybody."

"But that's not even the worst part. Come see."

Regirock guided Celebi to the boardroom. Through the walls, tribal music could be heard. Regirock opened the door to the breakroom. In there, all the other legendaries were gathered around a bonfire, dressed up in tribal face paint and clothing. They were staring at the bonfire and dancing around in a circle while chanting along to the music in a made-up language. Groundon was the only one not participating in the ritual, because he was tied up to a board, about to be a part of their "sacrifice".

"Uhhh..." sustained Celebi. "What the heck is going on?"

"Exactly," said Regirock.

Finally, a loud tapping sound is heard. The legendaries glanced towards the podium, where Giratina stood. He is banging on the floor with a staff.

"Fellow legendary Pokémon," Giratina declared. "Let the sacrifice begin!"

"Wait, a sacrifice?" Groundon was confused. "Who's being sacrificed?"

"You, Groundon," Reshiram told him.

"Wait, me?! I thought you said you were taking me to the movies! Who's idea was this again?"

"Kyogre's," answered Zygarde.

"Of course it is."

"ENOUGH!" shouted Celebi. The legendaries gasped and glanced toward her.

"HERETIC!" shouted Giratina. "SEIZE HER!"

Celebi exclaimed in fear as the other legendaries ganged up on her. Regirock stopped them using Ancient Power and then Stone Edge, causing the other legendaries to be knocked out for a second.

"Thanks, Regirock."

"No problem."

"Alright, what's the meaning of this?! Why are you dressed up in tribal outfits?! Why are you doing some crazy ritual?! Why is Groundon tied to a board?! Why did you make up some stupid language?! WHAT IS THIS?!"

"Since Arceus is not here," Regice began. "There's nobody to keep us in order. That's why we've gone crazy."

"That's why you've gone crazy?!" Celebi scoffed. "Yeah, right. You're only doing this just because you don't want to take care of yourselves. That's the whole reason why Arceus quit his job!" Celebi quickly covered her mouth after she realized that she just spilled her secret between her and Arceus.

"Wait, Arceus quit his job?!" Kyogre responded angrily. "That two-timing jerk!"

"Oh, don't blame him. You're the only reason why he did it in the first place!"

"Why?" Palkia asked.

"Because all you do is just sit around and act like idiots. He only did it just to teach you how to act more mature. But all that accomplished was making things worse! Oh, and when Arceus finds out about the mess and what you were about to do with Groundon, all of you will be in a MOUNTAIN load of trouble!"

"Oh, just as I would expect," Registeel scorned. "Goody-goody Celebi is gonna tattle on us about the whole ritual thing. Boo *bleep* hoo."

"That's it, Registeel!" Regirock snapped. "You're grounded for a century!"

"What?!" Registeel shouted angrily.

"Haha!" Regice taunted. "Registeel got punished!"

Regirock glared irately at Regice. "Same with you, Regice! No comic books, video games, internet, or TV!"

"Oh, come on!" Regice complained. "What a load of bullcrap!"

"Now both of you!" Regirock scolded lividly. "To your room! NOW!"

The two Regis, having no other choice but to do what their older sibling said, did exactly that without any more arguing.

"So what about us?" asked Kyogre. "Do we get grounded as well?"

"Aww, I don't wanna get grounded!" Groundon wailed.

"Shut up!" snapped Celebi. "None of you are getting grounded."

"Hooray!" cheered the legendaries.

"But you are going to be doing some work. And I know just what will be perfect for some of you. There had been many reports of thieves, mainly certain rescue teams, stealing property from dungeons to make a quick buck, and we need to prevent those occurrences from happening."
The legendaries groaned. "Awwww man, do we have to?" complained Dialga.

"YES!" yelled Celebi. "A lot of the stuff they steal belongs to the dungeons and we don't want someone getting their grimy paws all over it. So here's the layout. Groundon, you head back to Magma Cavern while Kyogre can head back to stormy sea."

"Awww, I don't like Magma Cavern," Groundon whined. "It's too hot."

"YOU FREAKING CAUSE SUNLIGHT!" yelled Kyogre. "How can you be too hot?! Geeze, and you wonder why I constantly act like a jerk towards you."

"Yeah, and you're not very nice either!"

"Shut up, Groundork!"

"Stop fighting!" Celebi snapped at them. "Regirock, you and your brothers can head back to Buried Relic. Since the rest of you are post-Generation three and have yet to actually have a purpose in the franchise, you guys can stay here and clean up this mess."

"Wait, wat will you be doing?" Regirock asked.

"Me? I'll be back at my home in Impurity Forest crying and eating Dairy Queen while watching 90210 and admiring my Arceus shrine."

The legendaries stare at her.

"It's very complicated. Peace out!" Celebi flies out of the room.

Meanwhile...in the depths of Meteor Cave...

Mewtwo was staring at the giant screen of his computer (in which he installed a camera system into the HQ so that he could spy on the other legendaries 24/7, since all villains are pretty much stalkers). He growled angrily as he slammed his paws down on the keyboard. He roared in anger even more as he began smashing everything in sight. His henchman, who was a Porygon (because all villains need at least someone that'll pay attention to their tragic backstory), was floating right across from him, observing his every move.

"That fool! How dare he abandoned his job and not leave me in charge! I'm certainly qualified! I have the power, the brains, the looks, and I can play Jordan on Expert Mode in Guitar Hero 2! Why wouldn't that celestial moron choose me to watch over the world while he is away? It makes no sense!"

"Uh," Porygon chimed in. "Not to burst your bubble, but it's because you're evil. And you never remember his birthday."

"Yeah, yeah," said Mewtwo. "I already know that's the reason. I just needed some kind of lamenting monologue to start this segment off. But still! I swore to him that someday I will take over the universe! Even if I have to pry it from him!"

"Uh, good luck with that. From what I heard Arceus doesn't take no for an answer."

Mewtwo glared at Porygon. The computer program whatever it is thing exclaimed as Mewtwo blasted him with a wave of psychic power.

"Porygon, Porygon, Porygon. My loyal subordinate who has always been there to suffer through my villainous lamenting. Have you ever noticed that you and I seem to share quite a bit in common?"

"Uh..." Porygon hesitated. "No, not really."

"FOOL!" Mewtwo yelled. "You and I were both created by humans. And we both were banished from society. As a result, we both ended up as pariahs. Outcasts. Ostracized. And it hurts!"

"But, boss," Porygon chimed in. "The reason why you got banished from the public is for all the evil stuff you did. I got blamed for something I didn't even do. The only reason why I agreed to work with you is because you seem to be the only Pokémon who understands what being an outcast is like."

"Oh, boo hoo," Mewtwo sarcastically retorted. "At least you had a decent life growing up. Me? My life was horrible!" tears formed in Mewtwo's eyes. "And that's what I am about to share to you. My tragic backstory. It happened on a rainy day. A wizard approached a door carrying a basket..."

"Wrong backstory."

"Oh, right," corrected Mewtwo. "Sorry. It happened long ago in a laboratory..."

Flashback to a scene where all the stuff Mewtwo describes is happening.

"It was only moments after humans scientists have cloned me, did it occur. A devastating disease broke out, killing the entire population of humans and leaving Pokémon the dominate creatures."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," interrupted Porygon. "Last story we were told that Pokémon caused the humans' extinction, and earlier in this story we were told that they died of starvation. Now they died of disease?"

"Because everyone in this series is crazy and doesn't know jack-crap about what they're talking about and I hate Arceus with a burning passion. Just go with it. So that was when fellow Pokémon decided they should take over in screwing up the world, and now we ended up with crap like Twilight, High School Musical, boy bands, other outdated stuff I shouldn't complain about but I'm going to anyways because screw it. Yeah, you think I'd complain about war and poverty and all that other more important stuff, but no. I'll just complain about the trivial things because that's all that matters to the people of this generation."

"Can we just skip to the point already."

"Fine, if you insist, Porygon. So after the humans died, realizing that I had no one to look after me, I sought the Legendary Headquarters. Luckily they had directions on their Tumblr so I was able to find it. Throughout my journey, I suffered through blazing heat, freezing cold, an annoying 80's pop song, until I eventually reached it. I knocked on the colossal door and to my shock, the one and only Arceus answered the door."

"Who are you?" Arceus replied to the child Mewtwo. "I don't think I remember creating you."

"I told him that I was created by the humans in a cloning experiment, and since all the humans were dead, I had nowhere else to go, and I needed someone to look after me because I was only a child. He just laughed."

"Beat it, kid," Arceus scolded. "This place is reserved for legendary Pokémon only. Are you a legendary?"

"I don't know. Was I a legendary? Luckily, Arceus's assistant fluttered by and talked some sense into him."

"Alright, I'll let you stay. And I'll even declare you as an official legendary Pokémon."

"And that's when my tragic story began. He was a massive jerk to me! He only allowed me to watch two hours of TV a day, didn't let me have dessert until I finished my entire plate of Lum berries, and took away my PlayStation every time I talked back to him!"

"That's not a valid reason why you're evil. That's just complaining about petty things Arceus won't you do."

"Shut up!" Mewtwo snapped. "You're supposed to feel bad for me! So the years rolled by and I was finally enrolled in kindergarten, where the teacher was incredibly cruel to me. She scolded me whenever I would write inappropriate words and pictures on the wall, construct medieval torture devices out of Play-Doh and paper mache during arts and crafts, and this one time she made me sit in a corner after I stood up during nap time and played "Sexy Back" on a boombox while dancing to it. That heartless witch!"

"This is getting ridiculous," muttered Porygon.

"But the worst part was HIGH SCHOOL! I can't believe those scumbags would give me an F on a test like that! After I did nothing but draw swimsuit models on the paper and sleep throughout the test instead of actually answering the questions!"

"Can you just tell me why you became evil already?"

"Oh yeah. Other kids bullied me for being different from them. Happy?"

"It took you long enough," grumbled Porygon.

"BUT NO MORE WILL THEY MISTREAT ME! That is, once I succeed in my goal! To take over the universe!" Mewtwo laughed diabolically as dramatic music played. He eventually stopped and glanced at Porygon, who had a cassette player next to him. "Porygon!" Mewtwo snapped. "Turn off that dreadful music and start playing something a little bit more of my style. Some Daft Punk, perhaps?"

Porygon sighed as he took out his iPod and began playing Daft Punk. Mewtwo continued laughing evilly.

Yeah, I'm fully aware that Mewtwo isn't necessarily supposed to be evil, but I just thought it would be cool to make him a villain. Heck, I'm gonna be portraying Medicham as Pikachu's crazed stalker in the next chap :/