Chapter Four
For once Joxer was actually happy to see Ares. It would be fun to gloat. Despite the hefty punch he had to give him for tripping him, he was more than ready to talk to him. It would be nice to tell him that he was going to team up with Xena and make the world a better place, by not doing Ares' plan of destroying everything and remaking the world from its own ashes.
But then again, Ares was awfully smug, as if he already knew everything. And he wasn't hanging his head at an Olympus bar sniffing up the latest ambrosia drink. This was bad news. Ares should have been miserable! After all, he had to know Joxer wouldn't allow him to continue his plans of world domination, would stop any and all warlords that were trying to kill Hercules or destroy other gods' temples.
So why did he look so happy?
"Ares . . .," Joxer said casually.
"Joxer," he said cordially. "Having a good day, I see. Was it because you just defeated Lanka?"
"Athena's goon . . . so you were watching me."
"Hey, I know when my son is fighting. I am the God of War. That man was really Athena's number one. She usually has a bit more honor when it comes to wars, but she cut Lanka a lot of slack because he was so good. When that village of Drama became worshippers of Paci, he decided to start destroying it. There were a few fighters, but not enough to tangle with Lanka.
"After murdering those kids' you saved parents, he still hadn't quenched his thirst for their blood. He returned from time to time, but everyone just let him kill them. So, he tried the approach of destroying the orphans. He thought maybe that would get a spark of interest in fighting. It was a little too easy to just stab someone who knelt in front of you—no sport, you see."
"Ares, thank you so much for that history lesson. Do I look like I care? All I need to know is that I stopped him. He won't worship Athena or even sit normally ever again."
"Well, I just thought I'd let you know that Paci is one of the nastiest gods on Olympus, if he ever bothered to move, that is, and visit Olympus. Aha, you snort! You think such a pathetic god is incapable of being a threat? Let me teach you another lesson, my son.
"War, which you hate so much, is a dangerous force, but peace can also be the same. When there is too much peace, evil people destroy and win the day. That is what Paci represents."
Joxer sighed and decided to start making a fire for lunch. This looked as if it was going to take a while. Ares loved speeches. He removed his hat, which he was still wearing by habit. He would have to get rid of it. It made him look just a little too goofy for his new image. Then he started gathering wood, with Ares following him and still talking.
"Peace, you see, can be a bad thing. Paci has certain kind of powers. Doing nothing means he can get the most amazing powers in the world. Sure, even I tried that once."
Joxer's jaw dropped, as he tossed the firewood into a heap and knocked stones together to start a fire. "You were peaceful?!"
"Don't get me wrong, son. I still was for war. There is a loophole, which Paci uses on occasion. He taught me how to do nothing and send your consciousness into the universe. I inhabited a monster and fought Hercules. I took over a dead body and fought Hercules. I took over an upstart prince and . . ."
"Fought Hercules, I get it. Get to the point." Joxer was getting tired of this. He had already hunted down a rabbit, skinned it, and was roasting it, and Ares was just getting warmed up.
"Well, at any rate, I got bored of it and decided to take a more personal approach from then on. My point is that when Paci and I were talking, he told me of what that power gains. See, if anyone fights in his presence who is connected to war, like Athena or . . . me or oh I don't know, my son . . ."
Joxer's eyes widened and he let the food fall to the ground. Suddenly he got a really bad feeling. This whole thing had been a trap . . . "You knew I'd let myself be beaten."
"Yes, I did. I even knew that Xena and Gabrielle wouldn't abandon you if there were no enemy to fight to get revenge from like that time with Titus. They had no revenge because the goons just disappeared. I also knew that the closest healing place was Hestia's. Hmm, I also knew that Hestia planned to give a Pegasus to Fortune, whose temple just happened to be really close to the village of Drama. Yes, as you might have expected I planned all this. I had to do something. You were just wasting away as Joxer the Mighty, but I knew that one day this day would come."
"Which day?" Joxer demanded standing up and staring his father right in the face.
"The day when you would go Xena's path. I decided to preempt it, because I can't have both of you fighting against me—for me, yes, great, but not against. And after the whole Titus incident I saw a change in you. Sure, you'll deny it, but your pride along with your ego was hurt. Topping that with a wounded Gabrielle fighting in your stead and both Xena and Gabrielle practically crying about your state of being . . . it was only a matter of time, and I hate waiting."
"So, I decide to fight back for a change . . . and I am cursed. And let me guess you also told Lanka to start that fire."
"Well, I had to pretend to be Athena—I never liked doing that, but hey for the . . . what was it Xena likes saying? For the greater good."
"You wouldn't know anything about good!" Joxer yelled, his temper at an end. "So, what is it? How am I cursed? Will I go mad and kill people? Will I turn into an echo? Will I turn into a giant spider? What is it? What have I doomed myself to?"
"To being Joxer the Mighty. You might want to pick up that hat again, because you're going to need it. See, Paci hates fighters, so he had a sadistic way of getting back at them if they were connected with War. If he condemned them, it would be a worthy risk for a warrior, just part of the job of being a fighter. If, however, he condemned others, that was fitting and kind of fun."
Joxer's heart, which had already been sinking, fell into his boots. "Others?"
"You can never fight again, unless you want others to pay for it. Any time anyone sees Joxer the Mighty fight, your face, your body, they will drop dead in an instant. Oh, and I do mean everyone, such as Gabrielle and Xena, your best friends. If they even find out about it from another source, they'll die. So, no union with Xena. No fighting team, and more importantly, only Xena fighting against me. And with no allies, she'll get pretty sick of being alone. Then she will return to the Xena I know so much better, the evil Xena."
Joxer collapsed on the ground. It was all over. The fantasy he had been building in his head evaporated like a bubble on water. It would always be the same with him. He had cursed himself.
"There is a way out, of course," Ares said with a wicked gleam in his eyes as he crouched down next to Joxer and tilted Joxer's head up to look in his eyes. "I can break Paci's spell. War can always break the peace. But you have to ask me, and you know what that means."
I hope that the reader can forgive Joxer for the moment of considering Ares' offer: no more hiding, and he could still fight for good. He'd just have to do a favor for Ares . . . and he knew what that'd be, to serve him again, to continue his blazing trail of blood and corpses. After all, Ares had the same idea for peace . . .
Joxer suddenly slapped himself mentally. He would not listen to Ares' idea for the world. If he had to suffer, so be it, but he wouldn't trade the world for his own happiness. He shook himself out of his father's grip and stood up. With a proud expression, he placed the hat back on his head and started singing, "Oh, I'm Joxer the Mighty, I'm always an idiot, never can be stopped, nor listen to his old pop. I'm for peace, I'm the golden fleece. I'm Joxer the Mighty!"
"Joxer, don't do this," Ares said, actually looking shocked. "I'm your father. You're my son. Don't fight me."
With a mighty spin around, Joxer popped his pop right on the nose, laying him flat. "See, no one was around," Joxer said with his glare and started traveling again. Joxer the Mighty was alive and well.