Okay, People this story is based more on the ORIGINAL ANIME, not Brotherhood. I may toss in a few bits from the manga, but I've seen more of the ORIGINAL than I have of the remake! Sorry for the confusion!
Roy had the distinct feeling of foreboding ever since he woke up, and nothing he did was making it go away.
This was not helped by his lackeys...er, subordinates...glancing his way ever five minutes and trying very hard to hide grins that made the feeling worse. Or the fact that Riza seemed to know something amusing, but was using every bit of her ability to hold back on telling him.
There were quite a few clues that something was about to happen that would lead to a lot of amusement at his expense.
Finally a break came from the feeling when Full Metal walked in with something that had him doing a doubletake.
There was a girl with him. A rather pretty raven-haired girl with familiar green eyes, kissable lips, and a decent bust that happened to be wearing a sensible outfit and a civilian's pass. The weird thing was that he could have sworn he had seen this girl before, and not because he had seen her shelving books at the library in Central.
"New girlfriend Full Metal?" asked Roy with a cocky grin.
For some odd reason, that didn't make Ed blush, but it did make his minion's odd amusement even more prominent.
The girl seemed to eye up Ed, before smirking right back at Roy. For some reason he just knew the foreboding he had felt for days was her doing.
"I could do worse. A lot worse."
That got Ed to blush and an amused snicker out of Alphonse.
"So why did you bring a civilian with you? Isn't Winry going to be jealous?" said Roy. As far as he knew, Ed and Winry were pretty close.
Then Maes walked in, and Roy knew something was about to happen. It was just going to be at his expense.
How did he know you ask?
Almost everyone there had a camera. Everyone, including Riza.
"What's going on?" asked Roy.
Maes had the most evil smile on his face as he said "Congratulations Roy, you're officially a father!"
If he had been drinking anything, he would have spat it out at that moment.
"WHAT?!"
Maes handed him a piece of paper with a seal he knew by heart at this point. It was from a rather select group of alchemists who specialized in cases where they needed to determine paternity (or maternity) of a child. Specifically for those that ranked high enough that a bastard child showing up would result in the derailing of officers that were too useful to let go.
People like Roy Mustang, for instance. If a woman was trying to buy her way into an easy life by claiming he was the father of their child, they had to go through the bloodline division first.
Roy opened up the papers, and his face went through a myriad of expressions, each caught on film thanks to the multiple cameras in the office at that time.
"Is this for real?"
"We had it checked three times, because they couldn't believe it either. All those times you've had them testing to see if the kid is really yours, and the one time it wasn't the mother who came looking for you, it tests positive," said Maes, inordinately pleased with himself.
Roy then looked at the civilian girl, and put two and two together.
"Surprise! I'm your teenaged daughter from a married woman!" said the civilian with a smug grin that was reminiscent of his own.
Roy's face went poleaxed. He had a daughter. A teenaged daughter that from the looks of it was just shy of dating his youngest colleague among the State Alchemist and known trouble magnet.
Oh dear lord...he could see the two of them having grandkids. He was too young to be a grandfather dammit! He was only thirty-five!
Seeing his expression, the girl cackled.
"I do believe he's becoming paranoid," she said with a grin.
"Welcome to the joys of being a parent," said Maes, already guessing what had Roy panicking.
Any man would panic learning they had a teenaged daughter with their eyes already set on a boy. Fortunately for Roy, Ed was pretty mature for his age and not likely to let his hormones to the talking.
His friendship with Angel was the first indication he even had hormones.
It was the nightmare of every bachelor who had one-night stands with a lot of women over the years.
A child coming out of nowhere that was proven to be yours, and with no other parental figures that would claim them. Even worse, an abused teenager who had extreme trust issues with adults, for very good reasons.
The only reason Roy Mustang had even a remote chance of an actual father/daughter relationship with his newly found teenaged daughter was because he didn't know she existed and had never once done anything to make her not trust him.
Roy was a father-like figure in Ed's life, so that was a point in his favor. He also didn't treat her like a child, and actually listened to what she had to say. He didn't automatically assume control over her, instead giving her the same automatic pass that Alphonse got that let her into his office, which was as close to an open door policy as she would get. He also gave her the clearance to borrow books (within reason for a civilian) from the library in his branch. She couldn't get classified or personal books, but general alchemy books were now within reach.
But the biggest reason that she had given him a chance was because he taught her alchemy. Specifically his brand of alchemy, which she had a natural knack for.
Al watched Angel and Ed interact, and was glad he was stuck in a suit of armor because otherwise his brother would have noticed his grin.
Nearby some of the colonel's men (mostly those that lounged around the office out of boredom, like Breda and Havoc) were watching the two as well, and snickering.
It was frowned upon, but not exactly discouraged, to use your subordinates to keep an eye on your teenaged kid. Especially if it was a newly discovered teenaged kid.
Central had to confirm the report that the Flame Alchemist did indeed have a daughter, before they looked the other way. Basically as long as they didn't stir up trouble, they weren't going to say anything about Colonel Mustang using the lower-ranked officers to spy on his daughter in order to keep them busy and her out of trouble. Especially since she had been hanging around a known trouble magnet like Edward Elric.
Mostly because a few generals would have done the same thing if it were their daughter.
Ed and Angel knew they were spying on them (at least while they were in Colonel Mustang's jurisdiction), but at least he had been honest about the fact he would be spying on them.
Besides, at least it gave Al something to do while they debated science. He could keep up, barely, but he seemed to have more fun making little side-bets with Breda and Havoc than listening to them debate for hours while their drinks got cold.
A man wearing a messenger uniform walked up to Ed, and had him sign off on a letter. However it was Ed's reaction to what was in it that was the most interesting.
He went absolutely pale like he had seen Death himself.
"Brother? What is it?"
Ed silently handed the letter over to Al, and if he had been in a human body he would have paled too.
Izumi Curtis had apparently heard rumors that "Edward Elric had found a girlfriend" and wanted to meet said female. And if not, well, she still wanted to see the both of them.
Angel read over Ed's shoulder with amusement.
"What's so bad about this...Izumi Curtis woman?"
"Because if she thinks we're dating she won't hesitate to test you the way she did us when we were learning under her," said Ed.
"And what, exactly, will this 'test' entail?" she asked, hands on her hips.
"Well she had us live on a deserted island until we learned how to survive," said Al, leaving out that there had been some sort of monster on the island and that it had beaten the living hell out of them almost every week.
"So basically camping without any supplies and being forced to literally live off the land," she summed up.
Pretty much what she had to do until Hogwarts.
"Took us weeks before we could bring up the courage to kill an innocent rabbit," said Ed.
"It would have taken me five minutes, but I suppose the fact you and Al have never had to develop a 'killing' instinct until that point means you had a better childhood than I did," said Angel.
Actually it would have taken less than that. She would have grabbed a handy rock and bashed it's head in and then done her best to make a meager fire to cook it, if she had a rabbit handy.
At least Angel could claim the Dursleys were good for one thing. They were great for encouraging small children to develop survival instincts and a distinct disdain for 'normal'.
They were also good at encouraging people to exercise and eat right, unless they wanted to become just like Vernon and Dudley.
Ed and Al had two choices. Head to see their 'Teacher', or suffer an even worse fate when she caught up to them.
The brothers came to an agreement.
It was better to throw Angel under the bus to see how she dealt with the strict woman they called "Teacher" and hope like hell that it kept her from going after them for being a couple of idiots.
Ed didn't know whether to be terrified or relieved.
It was more than slightly terrifying to see his Teacher get along with his possible girlfriend Angel so well...but it was a good thing because it meant she approved of Angel.
The most terrifying thing of all was that Angel seemed to thrive on that abandoned island. And the first night the same monster that used to beat the hell out of Ed and Al showed up, she didn't hesitate to fight back.
Only instead of using any alchemy, Angel did the one thing no male would have. She kicked the 'beast' in the groin from behind with as much force as she could possibly put into her legs. And after she developed a love of free running and parkour (the center of Hogwarts made the ultimate obstacle course, with it's every-changing stair cases that could move while you were about to jump) she had a lot of force behind her kicks.
Ed almost felt sorry for the guy. But he still remembered the sheer level of fear he had felt whenever he saw that 'beast', so that dampened any sympathy he might have felt.
Ed had no idea about how Angel's childhood went, but he could tell from subtle queues that she wasn't exactly happy about talking about it.
One thing was for sure, Angel had passed an unspoken test to qualify as Ed's first "girlfriend".
Though he didn't exactly appreciate the fact she had been quick to let Izumi beat the shit out of them for being such idiots, before offering to spend a week on that island.
Ed knew that if Teacher had heard about Angel, then odds were that Winry and Granny Pinako would have heard he had a 'girlfriend' as well, and bad things would happen the next time he went in for an automail replacement.
BAD things. Painful things, like more than a wrench to the face courtesy of Winry. And that was before Granny got to him.
Which was why Ed decided they should make a pit stop back to their home town...with presents for Winry. Namely a few mechanic books for her to read through...and some rather expensive new tools for Winry to play with.
Angel thought it was sweet...and more than slightly hilarious to learn Ed was openly afraid of strong women.
Women that assumed control and didn't take shit from anyone.
Or in the words of Angel to an amused Alphonse, the brothers were "whipped".
To the amusement of Angel, people were doing double-takes repeatedly seeing Ed with an attractive girl next to him and they were chatting amicably the entire time.
How anti-social was Ed if people had that hard of a time believing he might find a girlfriend?
Alphonse kept snickering beside them, because he had caught the looks too.
Trotting by Angel's side on a leash was Mystic. So long as he was introduced to other dogs in a calm environment (and they kept the food bowls separate) he got along fairly well.
Ed had assured her Winry's dog Den wouldn't go after Mystic, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
Besides, the last time she tried to leave him with her 'father', which she was still getting used to having, he had bitten three people. Most of them were jerks, but the fact was that he was banned from the barracks unless she had him on a leash.
Hedwig, on the other hand, was still with Roy. She was quiet, and as long as he kept the window open she could find her own food. Because she had what many considered the 'seal' of the State Alchemists on her chest through the use of a piece of fabric that wouldn't hinder her movements too much, they didn't have to worry about some idiot soldier trying to shoot her.
It was more for the transfers and new recruits, because by this time everyone knew the white bird was one of Angel's pets and better trained than most carrier pigeons.
She was welcomed in the office, since she was too polite to make a mess indoors.
Without warning, Ed fell backwards and Angel almost instinctively slid into an attack form...until she realize someone had only hit him with a wrench and not a bullet like she assumed.
A blond girl who was clearly a total tomboy and a dog with an automail leg came out of the house. The girl looked a bit peeved for some reason.
"Ed! Don't tell me you've broken another one of my masterpieces already! It hasn't even been two months yet!"
Ed groaned as he sat up, and didn't bother pushing Mystic off him.
Mystic and Den sniffed each other, before ignoring the other dog. A truce was usually the best Angel could hope for with a dog that had been feral for years.
"I didn't break anything!"
"Yet," said Angel snickering. Alphonse giggled.
Winry finally took notice of Angel, and the two girls almost immediately sized each other up.
"Why'd you come back then? Not that I'm complaining but usually you stay away for months before coming home," said Winry.
"He wants to introduce his new girlfriend," said Alphonse.
"How many times do I have to say we're not dating?!" shouted Ed.
Angel had this look on her face that clearly said "Is he really that oblivious to the obvious?"
"He's afraid you might do more than throw wrenches at him if he didn't introduce me to you and your grandmother, because his teacher nearly beat the hell out of him," Angel piped up cheerfully. Then she held up a bag. "We also came with a few things for you to play around with."
Winry perked up at that.
"Well we always enjoy it when Ed and Alphonse come over," said Winry.