This chapter is a request from Carly Rogers. It is a filler of some sorts. I needed Bella to understand, what happened. If anyone else has any ideas please let me know. Chapter 3
I excused myself and told Jacob that I was going for a walk on the beach. As I sat there, I wondered what my life would have been like if I would have grown up on the rez. Running around in diaper's with Sam. Going cliff diving with the rest of the kids. Maybe working on cars. I would have grown up in a garage most likely. Having bonfires every weekend. Being surrounded by family. I probably would have never met Edward or his family. I would have been able to give myself completely to Jacob, not knowing about the Cullens. But you can't turn back time.
I was so absorbed in watching the waves I didn't realize someone had come and sat next to me till they started to talk.
"You know, life sucks sometimes." Leah said. I snorted.
"Yeah, so do vampires." I told her. She broke out in a grin.
"Yeah, they do." She said and we started laughing.
She looked out at the ocean and sobered up.
"You know, when Sam told me he couldn't be with me anymore, I thought there was nothing more for me to live for. It was like there was this huge hole in my life that could never be filled. Then I became a wolf and the same night my father died. So another huge hole opened up. Yes, I understood why Sam did what he did, but it didn't become easier. If anything it became harder. I kept on asking myself, if werewolves and vampires didn't exist, would he still be with me? You know after Emily's accident, it was me who told her to go for it. I seen how Sam was hurting, and Emily too. I loved him enough to let him go. I might seem like I resent her, but I don't. She would have never went to him, if I didn't tell her too. She has never said anything to anyone about that conversation that we had. I told her to love him and never let him go, he's a good man. It still hurts him, for what he did to me. I know I don't make it any easier. They call me a bitter harpy, but the only reason I am mean, is to cover up the hurt. So, Bella, what I am trying to say is, your not alone. I want to make sure you don't make the same mistakes I did. I know I have never been nice to you, but that is because when you started coming down here when Edward left the first time, you reminded me of me. It hurt. I figured if I distanced myself, and was mean, it would stop the pain. I was wrong. I guess what I'm trying to say is, remember you have a huge family and friends that love you. You have a great brother, and boyfriend who would move heaven and earth for you. Yes, you lost something, and nothing can ever replace that, but look at what you gained."
She was quiet for a while, while I pondered over everything she said. She was right. Yeah, I might have grew up differently, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if the things that happened didn't happen. At that moment, I seen why Sam fell in love with her in the first place. Yeah, she acted like a bitch, but she still cared. Edward would move on. I still wanted revenge, but what was I going to do, roll around their house as a werewolf and smell up the place? Yeah that wouldn't happen, but it was a funny thought. No. I would be the bigger person, or werewolf. I will explain to Edward, why I can't marry him. Maybe, I can put an end to this stupid war. As much as I resent them for me being the way I am, I wouldn't know about my new family if they weren't here.
With that thought, I leaned back and we enjoyed the quiet of the beach. Watching the sun set, the beautiful colors playing across the ocean. I realized I am finally home. Yes today, sucked as Leah put it, but tomorrow, tomorrow is another day.