The 502 Stories

By AmboDriver

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

A/N: Some more baby steps toward healing their relationship. I'm such a Sofia fan and know she had to play a big role in all that healing that happened off screen.

Thanks again for all the positive reviews. They really keep me enthused to write, and now I have the time, so I'm hoping I'll get some more stuff out quickly.

If you ever want to know what I'm working on (and planning next), check my profile. I'll try to keep my writing schedule there up to date.

Chapter 4 – Mirror, Mirror

Callie walked into the apartment with Sofia perched on one hip and looked around to find the living area empty. "Arizona?"

There was no reply but as Callie dropped her purse and put her keys down on the small table in the entranceway, she noticed her wife's keys already there. "Arizona, where are you?"

"Bedroom," she finally replied.

There was something very hesitant in her tone, so Callie went over to the playpen in the living room and dropped Sofia off before looking toward their bedroom. "Can I come back?"

There was another pause before Arizona replied. "Um, I guess."

Callie's brow furrowed as she walked through the living room and back to their bedroom door. As she entered, however, she came to a sudden stop, her eyes going wide in surprise. Arizona was standing in front of the full-length mirror in a t-shirt and shorts with her brand new prosthetic on—the prosthetic that she hadn't let Callie see yet. Callie's heart quickened as a flood of emotions went through her—sadness, pain, hope, pride. This was Arizona moving forward and yet it was so alien to see her wife with all that metal and plastic protruding from what remained of her left leg. It was a harsh reminder of their reality now. "Um, hi," she finally managed to get out past the lump in her throat.

Blue eyes met hers in the reflection of the mirror. "It came in today so I could finally bring it home." Arizona then sighed as her eyes fell. "It's ugly, I know."

"What?" Callie's legs brought her almost to Arizona before she could think better of it. She stopped just before she could reach out to her wife, wanting so much to try and reassure her. "It's not ugly. It's a tool; it's your mobility, your life." She hated that Arizona couldn't see that yet, not really. No matter how many times Callie tried to reassure Arizona, it was like she could process it in her head but it never really sunk in to a point where she believed it.

Arizona shook her head. "I'm going to be a freak the rest of my life. People will see me and stare."

Where once Callie would have responded by reminding her wife that people stared at her because she was beautiful, she was sure Arizona wouldn't appreciate that light tactic right then. So, instead she stepped forward the last foot until she was just behind Arizona and off to the side. She wanted to be able to catch those blue eyes, to really see into them, and the mirror was the perfect prism for communication. There was a distance there that they both needed and yet they could have that connection with each other that Callie wanted to have so desperately. "You are not a freak, Arizona. You are someone who is surviving and if people stare at you, it's because they'll see that."

Arizona's laughter was a dry puff before it disappeared. "You think my patients will think that? They'll just think I'm the freak with the peg leg."

Callie's hand grabbed Arizona's upper arm before she could consciously stop herself. When Arizona jumped at the contact, Callie started to pull away, until she realized that she needed to shock Arizona, needed her to really listen to her. "When you have a patient who loses a limb, do you call them a freak? Do you?"

Arizona's eyes fell. "No."

"What do you tell them?"

Arizona rolled her eyes. "I tell them it's awesome and that their friends will think it's the coolest thing ever that they have a prosthetic. That it'll be like having a super arm or leg. But it's not the same."

"It is. You don't think it's awesome that you survived a plane crash? You don't think it's awesome that you get to watch your daughter grow up? That you get to have the chance to save so many more lives?" That we'll get to grow old together? Callie just wished Arizona would see it, all of it. She risked putting both of her hands on Arizona's shoulders and was relieved when her wife didn't flinch this time. When she spoke, her voice was softer and full of empathy. "I know this is hard and scary. And I know that it just sucks completely and you know I wish this hadn't happened, but it did. So now your choices are to move forward or not. This is moving forward."

"But—"

"No buts, Arizona. You're an adult. A few people looking at you or whispering behind your back shouldn't bother you. If someone calls you a freak then they're an idiot." Callie let out an exasperated sigh. "Do you feel like a freak when we're out in public and some homophobe stares at us or makes a nasty comment? Do you?"

Arizona closed her eyes as her head fell. "No," she whispered.

"This is the same thing. Yes, you're different now from most people. But I guarantee you that most people that will stare will be doing so because they'll be interested in seeing how this strong, beautiful woman is overcoming a disability, and not because they think you're a freak." Callie pushed at Arizona's shoulders so that her wife's eyes popped open and met hers in the mirror. "Besides, once you get the hang of it, the only time people will really notice is if you aren't in pants. Otherwise people will think you've got a little limp if that. Some amputees can walk without it being all that noticeable. You'll get better with practice."

"I'm afraid it will scare Sofia," Arizona finally admitted softly.

While Callie knew this was Arizona trying to avoid the previous subject, at least she brought up something else that was a legitimate concern instead of going completely off topic. This was important to talk about, to face. These fears were eating away at Arizona and hampering her recovery, and she needed to get them out and face them. "Maybe a little at first. This is new and she and I are both going to have to get used to seeing you like this, just like we did after the amputation. I know at first I probably stared a lot, because I was just trying to get this new picture of you into my head, to get used to it, because I had to." She was sure that was something Arizona had noticed over the previous weeks, but she hoped that her wife had also noticed that as she had gotten used to it. Callie really did pay less attention to her leg and more attention to Arizona now because it wasn't so new and jarring anymore. New things just took time to get accustomed to.

"I don't want her to be afraid of me," Arizona repeated, her voice even softer this time.

It tore at Callie's heart and yet she needed to help her wife through this. Things were still so hard between them, but now that they were able to finally have conversations and to be comfortable in the same space for more than a minute, she knew she could support her wife again. That was all she had wanted from the moment she heard Arizona was alive. "I'm not sure we can predict how she'll react or do anything to make her not be afraid if that is how she is going to react. But I think the best idea is to expose her to the leg. Let her see it as much as possible, let her touch it. That way she'll see that it's nothing to be scared of. And who knows, maybe she'll just see it and not even think anything of it. Kids can be pretty resilient."

"Maybe." Arizona didn't sound so convinced.

"Why don't we give it a try? Can you walk on it with the crutches yet?"

"A little." Arizona motioned with her head to where the two crutches were perched against her dresser. Callie reached over and gave them to her and waited patiently while her wife put them under her arms. "I guess she has to see it sooner or later, right?"

"Exactly."

Arizona nodded and gave a little brave smile. "You might want to stand back in case I fall. No sense in taking you out, too."

"Arizona?" Callie started to move her hand to the small of Arizona's back but instead moved it to her upper back. She could feel the muscles shift under her hand as she waited for Arizona to look up so their eyes could meet in the mirror again. Before they went out to Sofia, she wanted to take this change to say what she had held in side for so long while they were in this good place. "I know things are still really rough between us, but I just want to say something and I don't expect a response." The blue eyes went wide in a little fear and that ripped at Callie's heart, but she needed to press forward. "I am so proud of you. I know how hard this has been and, even when things were at their darkest, I never stopped loving you. In fact, I love you more and more every day."

Arizona's eyes teared up and the edge of her lips rose in a sad smile. She nodded and whispered, "Thanks."

"Okay," Callie said, pushing the disappointment away that Arizona hadn't returned the sentiment. She knew deep down Arizona still loved her. She would have left long ago if she didn't. It was just hard for her right now to deal with the mix of emotions she was feeling, and getting through the anger and the pain had to come first before she could get back to being able to express that love. Callie smiled, nodded and stepped back, trying to stay close enough to catch Arizona if she wavered, but staying far enough away that Arizona had room to maneuver.

She watched as Arizona carefully turned around, using the crutches and her right leg to hop until she was facing the door. "Who knew just moving around this little bit could be so exhausting," she said as she blew a wisp of hair out of her face.

"That I can truly understand. After the crash everything was exhausting. But you'll get your stamina back. It just takes time."

"Everything about my life will just take time," she said. She seemed like she was going to say something else, but instead she just shook her head slightly and started to work her way out into the living room.

Every step with the prosthesis was so unsure that it frustrated Callie and she could only imagine how much it was driving Arizona up a wall that she couldn't move faster or more certainly. But she still managed to make it out of their bedroom and to the nearest couch before falling heavily onto the seat. Callie waited until she was seated before she shot a look over toward Sofia, who was in the playpen by the other couch completely engrossed in her stuffed monkey. "You ready?" she asked as she turned back to Arizona.

"I don't have much of a choice. Bring over the munchkin."

Callie nodded before going to get Sofia. Those big dark brown eyes looked up at her as she approached. "Hey, baby girl, you wanna go see Mama?"

She kicked her legs and laughed before holding her hands up to indicate she wanted to be picked up. Callie lifted her and then set her feet on the floor, holding on to both hands to help her daughter walk over to Arizona. Sofia had been walking for about as long as Arizona couldn't. It was a horrible irony, but she knew Arizona loved seeing Sofia walk. Sofia wasn't entirely steady and still liked having someone hold her hands, but she was now able to walk at a good clip if she had that little bit of assistance.

"Hey big girl," Arizona said as they approached, a big smile on her face that warmed Callie's heart.

Sofia giggled but then stopped walking, causing Callie to almost lose her balance because she hadn't anticipated that. She looked down at her daughter and caught the furrowed brow she wore when she was trying to figure something out. "It's okay, Sofia. Let's go over to Mama."

Sofia looked up at her and Callie gave her an encouraging nod. Then little legs started forward again as Sofia returned her attention to her mama. They made it to Arizona in a few more short toddler steps.

"Hi Sofia," Arizona said hesitantly as she watched Sofia with a little trepidation in her blue eyes.

Sofia reached out and put one chubby hand on each of Arizona's knees, not even remotely hesitating before grabbing the prosthetic. Callie quickly moved to sit on the couch next to Arizona so she could watch their interaction. "See, not so bad," Callie whispered as Sofia looked from one leg to the other, obviously trying to figure out why they weren't the same.

Arizona leaned forward a little and waited for Sofia to look up at her. "I know this is confusing, my big girl. First I have a real leg, then after I'm mostly gone for a long time I don't have a leg at all, and now I've got this thing. It's okay. This is Mama's new leg. It's nothing to be afraid of, okay?"

Sofia smacked her hand down hard on the plastic just above the metal knee and then smacked her other hand down on Arizona's right thigh. She went back and forth a few times, her head bouncing back and forth like she was watching a tennis match. Then she looked up at Arizona and raised her arms to be picked up.

Callie laughed quietly as Arizona picked Sofia up and settled her on her lap. "Well, that wasn't so bad."

Sofia immediately started to play with Arizona's necklace, the prosthetic clearly already forgotten. Arizona placed a gentle kiss on the soft dark hair before looking over at Callie, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Guess you were right, although I'm not going to assume this is the last time she notices it and reacts."

"No, it won't be. And she might react badly at some point, but really, I think we all just need to get used to this new part of your life. Of our lives. So, can you do me a favor? I'm sure it's a little uncomfortable, but can you wear it as much as you can handle? So we can all just see it as much as possible? Don't hide it." Callie knew that she needed this just as much as Sofia or even Arizona did. They had to come to terms with Arizona's disability and the prosthesis she would need to return to a reasonably normal life. The more they saw it and the more Arizona wore it, the faster that would happen.

"Okay," Arizona said quietly before looking down at the metal and plastic that was her new left leg. "I guess it's not so bad," she finally said begrudgingly.

"Arizona, it's awesome, okay?"

"It's awesome," she repeated but it wasn't that convincing.

Callie rolled her eyes with a quiet laugh, realizing that she wasn't going to get Arizona to be enthusiastic about her new leg overnight. It was going to be a process. But she was sitting there next to her, and they were having a civil conversation about her amputation and her rehabilitation. And most importantly about their family. It was a huge step forward. "Are you hungry?" Callie finally said as she stood up to move toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, I am."

Callie went into the kitchen and turned to look at Arizona and Sofia. The prosthetic was still jarring to see. But there was their daughter, sitting right on the socket as she stretched across Arizona's lap, and Arizona was whispering to her with a smile on her face. It was a sight that made Callie sure that they would get through this, that they would get back to their family and probably even to their marriage. There was such hope in that image of her family and it filled her with the first joy she'd really felt in months.

We'll get through this. Together.

TBC…