these are the lies
In the end, she kicks him out.
Honestly, he doesn't exactly remember what she said (there was a lot of crying, and some screaming, and a shoe might have hit him in the shoulder), but he knows it's not good. Not good at all.
(What she said-and what he didn't hear- is that she can't deal with this drama, and she doesn't help her friend's boyfriend cheat, and that he shouldn't have kissed her and he was being utterly preposterous and he needed to stop lying and GETGETGET OUT, because bad things were going to happen, etc. Basically one long run on sentence filled with wet hiccupy interruptions and frustrated heavy breathing.)
She shoves him onto the front stoop, and slams the door so loud the windows rattle. And he stares at it, dumbfounded.
What has he done?
If Jade finds out, she'll kill him. Even worse he can't make sense of what's just happened for the life of him, only be sure that his shitty honesty schtick has officially come to an end. Apparently being truthful about his feelings only finds him dodging stilettoes and getting doors slammed in his face.
What kind of awful person is he?
He scuffs his boots against the pavement on the way back to his truck, and doesn't turn on the radio the entire way home. The silence is loud.
Her sobs in his memory are louder.
.
She thinks he's a liar. (Who would really, honestly want her? Doesn't he look at her everyday and see the imperfections? What about Jade? She conveniently screws his honesty policy and dubs him a huge mega-fucking LIAR.)
She climbs the stairs and it takes ten years because her legs feel like lead. And when her bones hit the bed, she pictures him out there still standing on the stoop.
She wants him. Tori Vega wants something other then skinnyskinnyskinny and stardom and Hollywood. And just like everything else, Beck is something she can't have. Something she doesn't deserve.
She hopes he'll stay away, and stop giving her those smoldering looks in lunch, and STOP showing up when she needs him.
Because otherwise they're both fucked for good.
.
Two days go by.
She either doesn't acknowledge him or avoids the group altogether. Apparently she talks to Andre though, because when Cat gets curious he says "Tori's worried about her grades and wants to get some studying in." and Beck gets a little bit jealous.
Just a little.
On the outside everything is cool. He laughs at lunch, makes out with Jade, and Wednesday night he bangs her so hard she gets a headache from slamming into the headboard. Everything is great. So so so so great.
Except it's not.
He doesn't get why she won't talk to him. It doesn't make sense. Okay, so she didn't want to be "involved." They didn't have to be involved! They're friends right? And friends talk. Especially when they're experiencing rough patches in their friendly relationships.
Maybe he hadn't exactly heard every single word she's said before. But he wants something; he needs some kind of contact. Some kind of communication. It was silly really; all this ignoring and avoiding and quiet in between them. (actually, it's really frustrating and really fucking dumb). And she'd gotten to scream at him before, right? She'd said her piece, and now shouldn't he get to say his?
Yes. Beck thinks it's his turn to get a word in, whether Tori screams at him again or not.
And boy does she scream.
.
"Beckett Oliver!"
It's fourth period and he's managed to drag them both into the janitor's closet (no small feat - Tori's a struggler) and now he's thinking the way she says his name - all high pitched and indignant - is kind of sexy. She's smacked him on the chest though and it stings so it kind of takes the edge off.
"Didn't you listen to a word I said?" Actually no, he hadn't. But he doesn't tell her that. Instead he goes straight for the kill.
"You need to stop avoiding me."
Her perfect eyebrows furrow in anger, and she scoffs. "Who said I was avoiding you?"
He smiles, a bit smug. Clearly she lacks knowledge of his uncanny ability to see right through to her very soul. "You're a good actress, but you can't fucking lie to me, Tori."
Her eyes widen, and she's silent for a moment, before slumping bony shoulders against the wall. Defeated.
"Alright. Fine. I've been avoiding you."
"Why?"
She frowns. "You really didn't hear anything I said before, did you?"
He shrugs noncommittally, but feels a tad bit sheepish. "I was kinda busy dodging stilettos, so..."
Chocolate eyes narrow, and then roll. "You're a fucking idiot."
Ouch. Harsh. Name-calling isn't really necessary here (unless she's saying his name through kiss-bruised lips, and it's all breathy and passionate. uhm. Jade who?) Beck decides to keep that thought to himself. "Well, it doesn't matter anyways. Stop avoiding me."
"Why? What's the point?" Tori meets his gaze finally, but her expression is bland. For the first time he sees how lifeless she looks, dressed in a sweatshirt that's much too big and kind of engulfs her body without promise of giving it back. There are dark smudgy clouds under her eyes and her hair is looking a bit flat.
"I just," He runs a hand through his hair. Suddenly, he's not feeling very suave and convincing. It's clear that this is the part where he has to admit to emotions and thoughts and feelings and stuff. This is almost as hard as when he'd first started dating Jade. "I want to talk to you, ya know? I mean, we're friends. Why can't we just...talk?"
Her eyebrows shoot skyward; perfect arches on a tan canvas. "Talk? We've talked before?"
"I know...I know." Fuck, this is hard. "But...I guess I just want us to be cool again."
She stares at him, mouth open. He uses a finger to close her jaw.
"You want us to be cool? That's all?"
He nods, brings a hand back to rub his neck. "Yeah. I guess that's all." Lies, he thinks. Blatant Lies. But it's only now, after the words have left his mouth, that he realizes he does NOT want to just talk. Actually, he knew it all along. (UH OH. WHERE HAVE HIS MORALS GONE? HE'S A CHEATER AND A LIAR TOO)
She looks at him then. Right into his eyes as if she's trying to read him like a map or a book. And then she straightens up, adjusts the strap of her bag on her shoulder and gives him a pathetically forced smile. "Okay. Fine." And then she stalks past him, flings open the door, and vanishes into the hall.
Beck thinks that "talking" might not live up to it's shiny, promising appeal.
.
The bathroom stall is a pathetic place to cry, but Tori resigns herself to the porcelain seat and balls toilet paper into her first anyways.
He wants to talk. That's all. He just wants to be cool again.
What the actual fuck?
She cries into her knees because he actually wants to be friends and sobs because he only wants to be friends. She lets out a few tears for Jade too, because even bitches didn't deserve to be cheated on and Tori still wants her boyfriend. She wants him everywhere at once, around her, above her and inside her until she can't feel a fucking thing. But he wants to "be cool."
When she finally picks herself up and looks into the giant mirror on the wall she can't stand to see herself for more than a few seconds. The toilet looks inviting - for other reasons- and the back of her throat burns with anticipation. But she leaves before she can shove two fingers in her mouth, schooling a neutral expression onto her face.
In the hall no one asks why there are large wet circles on her jeans, just above the knee. She's perfect Tori Vega; there has to be a good reason.
Nobody knows she's breaking either.
i would like to say that nothing about what i've written previously is changing. i've gone through and edited a bit, and so that stuff is mostly the same aside for changing of words etc. just for the review i received about not wanting anything to change. don't worry! it's generally the same.
also you'll find that robbie isn't in this story very much because i don't really feel like incorporating his character tbh. he exhausts me, and i like cat more. also i dont feel like having to write for his lil puppet, like ugh nah. everyone else i love tho 3
the title and song for this chapter is These Are the Lies by the Cab
M.