And this is where things start to get interesting. Crack doesn't really come easily to me, and if I'm honest I don't always like much of it, but this just had to be done. Another prompt from the same meme, this time asking for crack pr0n between Saboo and Moss.

Warnings: Blowjobs, clone porn.

Double Ayoade! That's not a warning, that's an advert.

Untitled Saboo/Moss crack

"Kirk! Is it true you have discovered a way to use a person's waste products in an infusion to create a physical clone?"

"No."

"Then why has one of them come over to fix that machine you use to look at porn?"

The man, standing there with the oddest expression of confusion, was almost painful to look at. He had Saboo's face, only minus the sexy beard, his body, only minus any sense of suave or sophistication, and even, as Saboo had noticed when the man had awkwardly introduced himself as Maurice Moss or some other such terrible name, Saboo's voice, only with nothing worthwhile to say.

This was the last time he would tolerate any of Kirk's twisted experiments.

Having shown him where Kirk's porn-machine was, Saboo decided to leave the travesty to it. He seemed to know what he was doing and didn't ask for anything, and the last thing Saboo wanted to have to do was explain their physical identicalness to someone who looked like he'd seen 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' so many times the situation would seem normal to him.

Kirk was nowhere to be seen. Saboo supposed he had retreated back into his sordid lair to look at virgins and attractive transvestites on CCTV, or whatever it was he did in there. But he had left something, a not-too-dubious looking pitcher, presumably to entice Moss to stay in the debauched pigsty that Kirk called home. Almost suspecting he might regret it, Saboo took a little for himself. Then he did regret it. Kirk never just left anything lying around. But he didn't feel lightheaded, or faint, or liquefied, so he supposed he must be safe.

Saboo decided to hang around for a while. Though the thought of having such an inescapably gormless clone repulsed him, he felt a strange sense of duty to protect him from whatever advances Kirk might secretly have planned.

No advances came.

Maybe Kirk was waiting. Or maybe, as Moss' fashion sense caused Saboo to think might be the case, there might be a chance that Kirk for once wasn't interested.

Saboo decided it would be safe for him to leave.

Moss was kneeling on the floor, bending over Kirk's porn-machine. Now Saboo was not a vain man, at least not with regard to his physical appearance, but it suddenly occurred to him that this Moss had Saboo's arse. And though he might not be vain, Saboo could not say he was particularly modest either, and it was rather a nice arse if Saboo did say so himself. And whatever could be said for Moss' terrible design aesthetic, he certainly knew how to use said nice arse, as Saboo could tell by the way he was bending over.

Was it right to think in such a way about a man physically identical to him, Saboo wondered. Well, why not? After all, he was attractive.

Saboo did a double take as he realised that he had unconsciously drifted over to Moss while he was pondering. He was now standing directly over him, and he realised with a shock that his hands were held out in position to cup his own clone's arse cheeks.

This was too wrong. He needed to get away. And quietly, so the clone didn't realise.

But as he took a step back, Moss turned to face him. His face unreadable, he raised shaking hands to the waistband of Saboo's tights, exposing his half-erect cock.

"What are you doing?" Saboo choked.

"My mother said that when faced with a rapist, you should indulge them and try to make a compromise."

"O-kay…" That was seriously fucked-up. "I'm not a rapist," Saboo pointed out.

"Oh," said Moss, looking at his face for the first time since he arrived. "You look like one."

"Have you ever met a rapist?" asked Saboo.

"No…" admitted Moss from the floor, "but you struck me as what one might look like."

Before Saboo could think of a sensible answer, or even register his own disbelief, he felt the warm, wet sensation of Moss' lips around his cock. He gasped as his member sprang to life, and Moss took him a little further in. Moss began to pump and suck rhythmically, his body swaying in time to his sucking as Saboo's vision began to blur. The moist suction ran in tingling waves through Saboo's body as he forced himself to refrain from grabbing Moss' thick, voluminous hair. He cried and moaned, which Moss seemed to take as an indication that he should go faster and harder, until Saboo let out an odd squeak and came into Moss' mouth.

Moss swallowed, visibly retching. "Are we evens?" he asked.

Saboo could only nod.

Moss crawled away, apparently too desperate to escape to bother getting up off the floor, and fled through the front door.

Saboo fell onto a chair, breathing heavily. Once he had recovered himself, he turned his attention to the entrance to Kirk's lair.

"Kirk!" he called. "Is it true you are a notorious porn-peddler, selling on illicit videos of fellatio induced by secretly planted date-drugs?"

"Yes!"