Part 4

"Winged PC in the sky! Hear my…" Marik began in rhythmic chant

"Marik!" I growled "What did I say…?"

"Oh yeah, sorry fluffy" came the flamboyant response.

Marik was currently spinning around on my chair waiting for the game to load. I shook my head and went over to my desk. It's not that I didn't trust Marik in my room, It's just Marik has a habit of doing erratic things almost always leading to a "CRASH!" followed by an "Oh frig!"

I grimaced and picked up my book. Ah 'The Count of Monte Cristo': a classic Dumas novel and my favourite by far. An adventure story of hope, justice, vengeance, mercy and forgiveness. Of a wrongfully imprisoned man seeking retribution… Sort of reminds me of Marik, well except for the forgiveness part. I smiled darkly to myself and looked up at Marik who was busy muttering something about 'shallow graves' and 'cranes'.

"Are you writing all these down Bakura?" Marik asked

I grunted in response and sat down on the bed; "He's not quite a synonym for the protagonist in this novel" I thought "but he's got the backstory." Marik was now busy talking about Mel Gibson, I didn't really want to know why.

"This is like 'The Shining' only with Mel Gibson instead of Jack Nicholson! Which means it's ten times scarier!" he rambled

"Don't worry Marik, I hear he's very civil if you give him blowjobs on demand!" I stifled a laugh as I watched the indignant revulsion unfold on Marik's face.

"Why is the answer always blowjobs?" He shouted back.

I rested the book on the bed and amusedly watched Marik's animated and loudly vocalised attempts at playing the game.

"Ahh! The cobwebs sparkled at me! But I am not going to give it a blowjob" He ranted to no one in particular. "Right, this is very simple, i'm just going to crabwalk up these stairs and… Ahh! I knew I shouldn't have crab walked! Oh how the hell do I get out of here?"

"Blowwjobb" I crooned with a smirk.

"Shut up not happening"

I glanced down at my book, but I was now more intrigued by effeminate closet homosexual of a housemate. He really was an idiot, no doubt about it. But an attractive idiot, there was no doubt about that either. Funny how when anyone suggests that Marik is gay it's always with me, I mused. Maybe that's the reason he always gets so angry about it. My train of thought was broken by Marik shouting about 'demonstrating his sexiness' while he chased a woman down a corridor.

"Where'd she go? Well if I know if I were a woman I know I'd instinctively go to do the Laundry" I heard him say.

"Marik that was incredibly offensive!" I said austerely.

"I know" he replied.

"I liked it".

"I know" he said again.

I tried to return to my reading but found myself staring at Marik as he gesticulated towards an invisible Mel Gibson. He really is a good looking villain, he remind me a lot of me… I chuckled, no wonder I like him so much then, oh the narcissism... I started thinking about Marik's repeated insistence that he is straight which caused me unconsciously crack a smile. Not a single girl the whole time I've known him has seen more than the midriff he displays to the world, well bar his sister but even with his tomb-keeper upbringing I think there were limits to the immorality. Come to think of it, I've probably seen more of him than anyone! With the 20 something showers he takes a day, he spends most of his time with no clothes on at all, and on the occasion he does don clothes they barely cover half of him. If anyone else did that you might assume they were just getting repeatedly laid! I was interrupted again by Marik, but this time he was shouting "something… something... SLAM VERY HARD!"

"I'd like you to slam me very hard" I replied absently in true Freudian style.

Luckily Marik was too busy to notice.

"Will you keep it down Bakura I'm trying to play a video game"

I growled dismissively and returned to my book. Barely four pages later I was interrupted yet again, but this time by the doorbell. "Who the bloody hell is calling round at this time?"

"Bakura will you get the door?" said Marik

"I'm busy" I replied coarsely. He's the only playing a bloody video game, why should I get up?

"You're not busy your pretending to read a book" he quipped back

"W-what makes you think I'm pretending" I replied, slightly taken aback.

"You've been on the same page for like 2 hours, you've just been staring at me"

"No I bloody haven't" I flustered. I felt a heat rising in my cheeks but thankfully Marik was still staring at the screen.

"Put down the count of Monte Cristo, and go answer the count of Monte door!"

I growled despairingly and threw down my book. I could see the familiar outline as I walked down the hall. "Just what we needed…" I opened the door and was greeted by a nasally whine.

"Hey guysssss!"

Jack Slenderman, lives nextdoor: A small time actor, (with some dubious past-times), who recently managed to score the lead in a major movie deal. He then proceeded to dissect and rebuild script to his own whimsical fantasies. It went from 'Concrete Giraffes' to 'Slenderman' in less than a day. I shuddered internally. "Hollywood…"

"What the frig are you doing here!" Shouted Marik from upstairs, having recognised the nasal tone.

"I heard you guys were playing a video game" He drawled. "Can I play the video game?"

"I wonder how you heard that!" I mumbled under my breath. Jack Slenderman was the most prying man I'd ever met; there was no real privacy with him as a neighbour.

"Bakura tell him to piss off!" Marik shouted again, to which I heartily agreed.

"Yes do piss off!" I concurred.

"But I'm an extremely elite gamer!" he argued

"The only way you could help me is if you know a way to defeat Mel Gibson!" Marik continued

"Have you tried giving him a blowjob?" was his straight… erm… no faced reply

I smirked as Marik spluttered and then screeched.

"Get the ever loving frig out of here!"

"Bye guysss"

I slammed the door behind him. I hope he takes the hint…

"Man our neighbours suck Bakura…"

Marik didn't even look away from the screen as I came back into the room.

"Marik that's enough" I said "you've been playing for hours; I need to get some sleep."

"But Bakura…" he started whining again

"No Marik!" I cut him off

Marik pulled a face like he was chewing on a lemon before standing up dramatically and marching into the next room.

5 minutes later after he had thought of a cocky enough reply, I heard him shout back.

"Well you definitely need your beauty sleep!"

"Kiss my arse Marik!" I replied

"But there's poop down there!"