Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.
CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a RETASU. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual.
INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:
Name: Retasu Midiokawa
Race: Japanese, and a little sweetheart
Height: Without counting her hair, she's about 5'0
Weight: Ooh! Bubbles! MINE! ((pokes the bubbles Retasu used to bribe))
PUTTING HER TOGETHER:
You should have gotten a clam tied up and a bow on top of it from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't ask us about your RETASU not being there. Your RETASU is fine. She's just living in the clam. She IS a fishie who needs water to live when she's a fishie you know.
1) Remove ropes around the clam. (NOTE: You're RETASU might get scared is she's awake and use her bubble bribing powers, not our fault! If this happens, play with the bubbles until she feels calm and go to step two)
2) Use large wrench to pry bow off from afar.
3) BEFORE you RETASU attacks you for lack of water, because you just opened up the clam that had all the water in it so your carpet is now wet (not our fault either, fishies need water to live, so you should have remembered that), tell her that if she doesn't kill you she can get her own aquarium and put all sorts of piranhas in there (those are her favorite, and won't function correctly without at least five piranhas to keep her company. We don't sell them, and they need to be kept in sea water)
COOL THINGS YOUR RETASU COMES WITH:
Scared that you're going to have to buy something for RETASU to stay amused with? Think again. Here are things that come with your RETASU'S come with so she'll be set for all those hours you're spending cleaning up the messes she makes from trying to carry plates around you house.
1) Broom
2) Rope (more on that later)
3) Castanets she won't go ANYWHERE without
4) Rubber bands
5) Hair brush
6) Green-Hair dye
7) Books 5,000 pages thick for her to skim while you're doing all those hard math problems
8) Glasses (also comes with an extra pair just incase pesky PAIs come around and break them) (She needs twice a year eye checkups from you local All-Powerful-Authoress. Just call 1-800-Finally-Need-Help and fork over fifteen dollars. Hey, we gotta make money SOMEHOW!)
9) Mew Mew outfit
10) Work Uniform
11) Extra plates for breaking
12) Three or four sets of regular clothes
13) Pistol
YOUR RETASU IS BUILT FOR:
Lover: Are you sick as PAI, or even a RYOU? Do you want to start a relationship with this poor girl, though everyone will think you're a little strange? If so, then she's the one you need (Some people have found that after trying this, they have had to live in a bubble for the rest of their lives to survive. No one knows why, but we just know they do.)
Therapist: If she's not breaking plates or apologizing to perfectly better-off-left-alone strangers, she gives people advice.
Homework-Helper: Actually, she can do you homework for you, but we decided to put that name so it would please the parents and to fool them into you're actually learning something.
Giving People Bubbles: Ever seen Finding Nemo? With that little fishie that loves bubbles. She gives people bubbles as bribes to doing stuff. n.n
Anger Management: As a matter of fact, she isn't very good at this, since her anger is worse than anyone else's. Why do you think she has a rope with her? Don't cross this girl too many times. O.o
HOW SHE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:
ICHIGO: COMPATIBLE all the time, they became good friends when ICHIGO pushed RETASU into the Jr. High pool one night. RETASU has a bad habit of going up to ICHIGO and shouting gomennasai's for a whole hour for simple things like BREATHING!
KISSHU: I suppose it depends on what your RETASU thinks about him from the beginning. We don't really know, go ask her!
PURIN: Leave her to TARUTO, that's our advice. (Not responsible for your RETASU coming up to you and suddenly asking what things are that she shouldn't be asking!)
ZAKURO: COMPATIBLE! That's all we gotta say….
MASAYA: What do you think the rope's for?
RYOU: RETASU likes RYOU! But she can't tell him because he likes ICHIGO! So we recommend telling the RYOU yourself before he tries to make a move on KISSHU's ICHIGO.
MINTO: MINTO is rich, and has a big kitchen. YES! They're COMPATIBLE!
KEIICHIRO: He's suave! She likes his cakes, and he gives them to RETASU whenever she doesn't break something in a whole hour! (Take this as a warning: THIS HAS ONLY HAPPENED ONCE!
PAI: She's the only one he'll talk to. He'll even defend her. I think that he—((Is stopped because PAI decides to attack before the finished sentence is finished))
TARUTO: He's COMPATIBLE, but you should give him a PURIN to keep him occupied.
TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:
Q) Why is RETASU'S hair brown?
A) She has clearly lost all her green-hair dye. You must get your local Authoress to make it permanently green, get her more hair dye, or make due with the Brunette RETASU.
(Space is supposed to be here)
Q) Something WEIRD is going on! RETASU is having a weird voice, all high-pitched and squeaky. And all of a sudden, she has two stupid attacks that have nothing to do with bubbles! Then she INSISTS that she doesn't deal with bubbles but with water! WHAT'S WRONG?
A) You're poor RETASU has been assassinated and cloned into BRIDGETTE VENDANT! This wretched girl has two attacks just because she attacks so much (due to anger management)! VERY fortunately, this one's easy to fix. Simply take the pistol, shoot the now BRIDGETTE, and then get a whole new RETASU!
(Space is supposed to be here)
Q) Is it alright for my RETASU and KISSHU to be doing things together?
A) We should think that KISSHU would have nothing to do with the girl, but she's ICHIGO's friend so he puts up with her. If he gets "feelings" for her, it's accidental, and as long as RYOU and PAI are alright with it, it'll make everyone happy until MINTO or ICHIGO get jealous.
WARRANTY:
This clarifies that your RETASU will never turn shonjouai unless you tell her she can. This also lets you get a whole new RETASU in case of 4Kids break in, loss of hair, nose, and/or teeth, or bubble-gum chewing addiction.
HAVE FUN WITH YOUR RETASU!
Well, the next chapter is PURIN, which I will LOVE typing, so please review!
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I