Chapter four: Arrival
(Disclaimer: I don't own most of what I'm writing about. Except for the snake.
Flames will be printed out and used to pick up dog dookie.
If you feel that the rating is too low, go ahead and tell me.)
Zim: Dib, wake up.
Dib sat up slowly and looked around. He was in a dome shaped room, laying on a bed. His things were piled near it. Zim was hanging over him on his spider limbs.
Dib: Where are we?
Zim: We're in a portion of my base that I constructed for you.
Dib: Oh um... thanks.
Zim: It was nothing, really. All I had to do is press a few buttons.
Dib: Oh.
He moved to get up out of the bed, but Zim stopped him.
Zim: Try to get out of bed using your spider limbs.
Dib: How do I do that?
Zim: Just think about doing it.
Dib thought hard about spider limbs erupting from the Pak. Then he shot upward suddenly and his head hit Zim in the chest.
Zim: Oof! Anyway, I was going to take the Voot Cruiser out to kidnap a human.
Dib: Why?
Zim: Oh, you want to be experimented on?
Dib: No, not really.
Zim: Okay then. I'll be leaving in about an hour. If you want to come, meet me in the cruiser bay. I've modified your clothes so they fit around the Pak.
Zim left the room, only to return a few moments later.
Zim: Oh, and both the base and Gir should take commands from you. Oh and if we receive any transmissions, tell me, OK?
He left. Dib waited a few minutes to see if he would return but he didn't. He then put on his shirt and trenchcoat and decided to look around the base. He wandered aimlessly for a few, then decided he would actually do something, but Gir ran up to him and shoved something down his pants.
Dib: GIR! What the hell... OH MY GOD IT'S SQUIRMING!!!!
Gir: Ha ha! Hey Minimoose, Dib's got a python in his pants!
Minimoose: Squeak!
Dib: A PYTHON? Oh, Gir, you are SO scrap metal after this!
Gir: YAY!
Dib succeeded in pulling the snake out of his pants only to find out that it was actually a harmless baby corn snake. In his panic he had forgotten that a python was a very large constrictor, and there was no way one was fitting down his pants. He looked around and saw that they were in the room where they received transmissions. The machine was beeping softly. A small screen on the control panel listed the received messages. He looked closer, but all he saw were little symbols which he guessed was the Irken written language.
Zim: Dib, what are you doing? I thought I told you to tell me if we received any transmissions.
He turned around and saw Zim standing there, glaring at him. He realized he still held the snake in his hand and showed it to him.
Dib: GIR SHOVED THIS DOWN MY PANTS!
Zim: Well that explains the yelling. GIR! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NO SNAKES IN THE BASE!
Gir: Oh, I see! We gotta get the mother*****ing snakes out of the mother******ing base!
Computer: Hey! I resent that comment!
Minimoose: Squeak!
Computer: Incoming transmission from an escape pod.
Zim: An escape pod?
Red's face appeared on the screen.
Red: Dib! Is Zim there?
Zim pushed Dib to the side.
Zim: Zim is present, oh Mighty Tallest.
Red: Good! Because we'll be going into hyperspace in a moment. We'll be at Earth in about six hours.
Dib: Why are you coming here? It's way too early to invade.
Red: Because an unknown race took the Massive, and may be planning to overthrow and enslave the whole empire. We think Earth may be the best planet to hide on.
Tak: ZIM!
Zim: Hang on one second, please?
He turned to face the female Irken and her SIR.
Zim: Grr... HOW DID YOU GET IN!?
Gir: Oh, I let them in to look at my snake.
Zim: What? WHY? WHY WOULD THEY BE INTRESTED IN A DUMB SNAKE?
Gir: MiMi thinks it's pretty... and Tak thinks it's tasty!
Gir stuffs the snake in her mouth.
Tak: WHAT THE- MMMPH!
Red: ANYWAY! We're gonna land the pod in your backyard just so you know.
Gir and Zim: We have a backyard?
Dib: Yeah, you haven't seen any satellite images of your house?
Zim: SATELLITES ARE TAKING PICTURES OF THE BASE OF ZIM? THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
Dib: Don't worry! The good thing about humans is that they barely notice anything! They probably think it's a normal house.
Zim: Oh. Now, back to the backyard... there is no door to said backyard! Come, Dib, Gir, and Minimoose! We must... make a door.
Gir: Can Tak and MiMi come too?
Zim: Hmm... only if Tak keeps the snake in her mouth until the pod arrives.
Tak: MPH MPH MPH!
Dib: Why did she mention miles per hour three times?
Gir: What's a mile?
Dib: Never mind.
They all went upstairs out of the kitchen toilet to face the wall that blocked their way to the backyard.
Zim: And now, we shall put in the door!
Computer: Processing.
Zim: Hm?
There was a bright flash of light, and then there was a door.
Zim: Oh. Well, nowww... WE EXPLORRRRE THE BACKYARD!
While he was dramatically saying that, everybody else had already opened the back joined them and walked out. The backyard was nothing special. It was a large fenced in grassy area. There were bushes and garbage cans in random areas.
Gir: BORING!!!
He went back inside and watched the Scary Monkey Show.
Dib: Looks like we have at least six hours to kill.
He went back inside, and Zim looked at Tak.
Zim: You know, I really like that snake.
Tak: MPH MPHH MPHHHHH!
FIVE AND A HALF HOURS LATER.
Zim was watching TV, Dib was taking the centers out of oreos and stacking them on a cookie, then placed another cookie on top. The end result was an oreo that was as tall as him. Gir came and ate it, then had a sugar buzz and threw rubber piggies all over the place, then went to annoy Tak and MiMi, who were playing solitaire on Dib's laptop. The snake still squirmed in Tak's mouth.
Gir: SNAKE IN YOUR MOUTH! SNAKE IN YOUR MOUTH! LOOKIN' LIKE A FOOL WITH A SNAKE IN YOUR MOUTH!
Tak: Mph.
Gir ran away from her and started to jump on the couch and sing.
Gir: Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground. With the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat, lookin' like a fool rat! Walkin' downtown with your pants on the ground.
Gir started to break dance.
Gir:Get it up, hey! Get your pants off the ground. Lookin' like a fool. Walkin' talkin' with your pants on the ground. Get it up, hey! Get your pants off the ground. Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground. With the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat, lookin' like a fool rat! Walkin' downtown with your pants on the ground.
(sorry. I couldn't resist)
Tak: Mmmph.
Minimoose: Squeak.
Dib: Hey Gir, do you take requests?
Gir: Only from piggies!
Zim: GIR! Stop singing for the piggies! The pod will be landing any second!
Gir: Aww, the piggies wanna hear Thriller.
Zim: What is this "Thriller" you speak of?
Dib: You're kidding right? Thriller was the biggest hit in all of human history. Geez, I'd expect even YOU to know that.
Gir: I'll show you later, kay, master?
Computer: Pod entering atmosphere. Ten minutes until landing.
Everyone but Tak: FINALLY!
Tak: MMPPHHH!
They all tried to go out the door at the same time but got stuck, then ripped the door frame out of the wall.
Zim: Gir, that was your fault. You're bad.
Dib looked up and saw what looked to be a meteor heading for the backyard.
Dib: Umm, guys? I'm going back inside.
Zim: Why?
Gir: It's time for the Scary Monkey Show again?
Dib: No, there's a meteor heading straight for us.
Gir: Ooooh, shiny...
Tak: MMMPPPHHH!!!! GAACCKK! Blargghh... I feel sick.
The snake had slithered a bit to close to her throat and she accidently swallowed it.
Zim: By the looks of it, that "meteor" is the pod... TAK! WHERE IS THE SNAKE?
Tak: Snake... in... squeebily spooch...
Zim: EWW, YOU ATE IT?
Tak: Not... on... purpose...
Gir: BIG SHINY ABOUT TO HIT US! YAAAY!
Tak: I need to puke...
She ran over to a garbage can and started to gag. The "meteor" stopped twenty feet above the backyard and stopped flaming, revealing what it truly was, a purple, egg shaped spaceship. Zim took two glow sticks out of his Pak and waved them like one of those people at the airports. The spaceship slowly lowered down into the center of the yard. When it landed, Red stepped out, held his breath for a few seconds, and exhaled, his Pak having helped him adjust to oxygen. Dib was amazed, Gir was confused. The other occupants walked out and did the same routine as Red. Gir dashed into the escape pod, then ran out and poked the table drone who was still hunched over as if he still carried the table on his head.
Gir: Hey, where's my pizza?
Table drone: Pizza?
Gir: Aren't you the pizza guy?
Table drone: No, I'm Sid the table drone.
*doorbell*
Gir: PIZZA!
He ran in through the hole in the wall, and came back outside in his disguise and a pizza box.
Dib: We might as well go back inside. There's not much to do out here.
?: Not so fast, Dib.
The voice came from the shadows in a corner of the yard.
Gir: Shadow person! I must defeat them with PIZZA!
He threw a slice of pizza at the corner. However, there was no SPLAT as if the pizza had hit the wall. Gaz stepped out of the shadows, holding a shred of fabric in one hand and the slice of pizza in the other. Gir threw more pizza at her and she dodged it all easily.
Gaz: Dib is coming with me. Now.
Dib: What? NO!
Gaz: Dib, I don't have a lot of time to explain. The more we speak, the more vulnerable you become.
Dib: I'm vulnerable? To what?
Gaz: Come with me, bring your little friends with you if you want, but only two. I'm a vampiress, not a babysitter.
Dib: Wait, you're a vampiress? That can't be! You eat food!
Gaz: How much have you seen me eat in the past few months?
Dib: Not a lot... wait, only the past few months?
Gaz: Shut your stupid mouth! We can talk later once we get to where I want you to go.
Eventually, Dib chose Zim and Tak to go with him. They walked out of the cul-de-sac and into the night.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
His name was Lucian had almost no friends because he was home-schooled. He wore a faded gray tee shirt, a black hoodie, and a pair of jeans. He had corn silk blonde hair streaked with black to help hide his antenne. His skin was green, his eyes blue, and he was four feet, three inches tall, an embarrasing height for a sixteen year old, the same age his mother was when she was abducted by aliens who had implanted her with an embryo that contained her DNA and an alien father's. Like her, he had type one diabetes.
He sat on his roof top, gazing through his binoculars at where he was sure that giant fireball had hit. Yet there was no smoke whatsoever. That can't be, he thought, unless... He decided to go investigate. He climbed down the tree that he used to get on and off his roof, then hopped on his bicycle and sped down the streets. He was pretty sure he knew where it had landed, near an apartment complex.
When he turned the corner, he stopped. What was a house doing in an apartment complex? That was pretty weird. He leaned his bike up against the nearby fence and went behind the apartment buildings until he reached the fence that separated him and the house's backyard. He jumped and grabbed the top, then pulled himself up so that he balanced perfectly on top. He almost fell when he saw the spaceship in the middle of the yard. Then curiosity got the better of him and he jumped down and approached it. Then his watch beeped, telling him it was about time he checked his blood glucose. He reached into his pocket for his spring loaded lancer, his box of test strips, and his meter. Suddenly, he was forced to his knees, a blade pressed to his throat.
??: Don't move anywhere, human.
Lucian: Please let me go. I need to check my blood glucose.
The blade went away, and a short alien walked in front of him. He carried on testing his blood. The meter beeped, the display read 120. That was too low. He took a bag of gummy bears out of his pocket and crammed a few in his mouth. The alien looked at him sideways.
??:You're a Seab, aren't you?
(Yes, I know, I let my silly side out a bit in this one. Please r+r anyway.)