To Andrea: Good eye. No one else besides me and you caught my typo. Cholera is not Chorea, I know that, but MS world kept trying to make the way I was spelling Chorea be cholera so being a lazy ass I listened to MS word instead of logic. Lol.
1. Please stop demanding that I update. If you want to review, review. Please, I beg of you. I love reviews. But I get angry, not flattered when I see an email in my inbox telling me that someone bothered to r and r my story and it's just someone yelling about updating. I know I should be grateful that someone read my story, but I don't feel like you really appreciate me or my work. Especially when someone tells me to update this story on another one of my stories without reviewing the other story as well. Yes, one of you did that, and they know who they are. I would like real reviews on my other stories as well, not ones wanting me to update this. To me, this one isn't literature, just lists, while they are actual stories and get almost no love.
2. When did I say this would be USUK? Several people in the comments were like "Even though this will be usuk I still like it" Like, just because America has a crush on England does not mean I was going to end it in USUK…. But maybe I will, just to spite you guys….
3. Please, I know I asked you guys to tell me who you wanted to see, but I have my list now. I thought I made that clear in the earlier chapters… Might have forgotten. I was going to keep it a surprise, but to stop the questions…
1.. Romano
2. America
3. Italy
4. Canada
5. England
6. France
7. Russia
8. Greece
9. Germany
10. Prussia
IN. THAT. ORDER. Probably.
This chapter was a stretch in itself. When you see the headcanons you'll see how frustrated I truly was with it. And again, I apologise for the flash drive incident. I hope this version is better than what I originally had for dialogue. I tried to rewrite what I remembered while adding some new ideas that came to me. Anyway, wish I could say England's chapter will be out quicker, but I'm a college/university student with thirteen other story commitments. So probably not. England's chapter will probably be easier for me to actually write, though, for headcanons. English history and culture is soooo much fun. Not to say Canadian isn't. But... let's just say I know English history very well.
Prussia handed the book to the person closest to him, who happened to be France, who looked far too saddened by what was going on to make some joke about someone's dirtiest secrets, which should have relieved England, but instead made him worried.
France looked down, looking anxious to get the next one over, whoever it was. He frowned when he saw the name.
There was more to Canada than just a nation that no one could remember or recognize. He was a real nation, and his name isn't "Who?"
A few of the nations frowned, feeling bad for Canada. Everyone knew he was, but it was just that he wasn't as outgoing or nosy as America was, so he was mostly overlooked.
The introduction wasn't very long on this one, making France frown, but he jumped into the secrets of the life of Canada.
1. Canada has always been used to being overshadowed by America even from a young age
England frowned.
2. Even as a child, England never gave him as much time or attention as America
France looked up from the book, glancing at England with an annoyed look, but shockingly said nothing.
3. Canada has wanted nothing more than for England to notice him as much as he still does America
England looked away from a few of the curious stares he received.
4. Which is why he tried so hard to be just like England
England realized that he had completely ignored Canada, even mistaking him for America multiple times, despite the fact that Canada was the one most like himself.
5. England never mistook America for him…
England glared up at France, even though he knew that it wasn't France who had written this nonsense. It was this "Milky O. Awesomeway" person.
6. Canada's only friend for the longest time was Kumajiro
France frowned as he read it. Canada looked down. Prussia came over to wrap his arms around his shoulders, causing a few nations to raise an eyebrow.
"Birdie…"
7. Canada was one of the few nations who liked their human names
"What is his human name anyway?" Everyone looked at America, who shrugged. After seeing that he didn't know, they looked at Canada, who sighed.
"Ma—"
"The awesome Matthew Williams!" A loud voice cut all of them off.
"Prussia!"
"What? He is…"
"Is what?"
"Awesome."
8. He sometimes attempts to pretend to be America
"Wait, what?" America said, mid-chowing into his steakburger.
9. He wished that he could be more like America. Outspoken and someone that more people recognized
America frowned, looking over at him. "Of course he wants to be like me. Dude, I'm awesome!"
Canada smiled a small smile. "I'm starting to think that you don't mean that."
"What did you say bro?"
He sighed. "Nothing." America gave him a wink.
10. He didn't blame America for never seeming to pay attention to him half the time
America looked up at him, raising an eyebrow
11. He had helped England burn down America's capital
"Dude." America said. "I tried to invade you..." He blushed. "Not in that way." Canada shrugged.
12. Canada had a major crush on England as a child.
"Bloody hell… Both of them?" Canada chuckled while America laughed.
13. And as a teenager.
14. He had a crush on England since he received him from France. England had been nice to him…
France frowned, England sending him a smirk from his spot.
15. Until America had to ruin it by stealing all of England's attention…
"Oh—sorry bro…." America looked at Canada awkwardly… they both had crushes on the same nation. Prussia looked a bit annoyed, frowning. Or was that… jealously?
Weird…
16. Canada is jealous of how easily America can talk to other people
America frowned, starting to open his mouth. France started reading while England covered the American's mouth.
17. All the nations who actually remember him assume he can speak fluent French
France frowned and raised an eyebrow at Canada.
18. He can only speak enough to hold a casual conversation with France.
France looked shocked.
19. Unless he's in Quebec. Then he speaks only French but has only dim memories of it afterwards.
Some nations looked a bit curious.
20. He once tried to get the other nations to do an "Everyone Ignore America" day.
America looked hurt. Canada gulped.
21. He tried to schedule it on the Fourth of July. Only England, France, and Russia seemed to like the idea.
America looked even more hurt. Only Russia didn't seem the slightest bit remorseful.
22. Which was sort of gratifying as he could tell that his brother wanted England at his birthday party.
England blushed slightly. So did America.
23. Canada isn't innocent. No nation is truly innocent. Though many mistake him as such because of his quiet demeanor.
All the nations looked down, knowing it was true.
24. Despite being raised by France, Canada's ideal first date isn't at all romantic. He would prefer sitting inside watching a hockey game than dinner.
France gasped and started giving Canada a lecture on what was and wasn't a date. Sweden covered Sealand's ears. Everyone else just kind of looked at each other.
25. Canada does not call 'soccer' football he calls it 'soccer.' Just like America and Australia.
America grinned at England. "See? I'm not 'ruining your brilliant language with my Heroism."
Canada and Australia just stared.
26. Canada does not really care for pancakes as much as he likes excuses to use his maple syrup.
Prussia smiled. Though pancakes were just more awesomer with the syrup to him. They were already awesome.
27. His favourite food is actually poutine.
28. He keeps churning out shitty artists and hoping people will think they're American.
America frowned. "So that's why Cuba hit me because he was forced to listen to Justin Bieber….."
"Now you know how it feels." Canada mumbled.
"Nah, I just hit you because I hate you."
"No one can hate me! I'm the hero!"
"You know…. I'm starting to think that you don't mean that…."
29. On purpose
30. In your face, America
America just sulked.
31. He's over England. He has someone else, but…
Prussia just wandered over and started nuzzling him for some odd reason. And yes, sure… In Italy's secrets this was revealed, but it still looked freaking weird.
32. He's scared of losing him.
"I'm going to burn this unawesome book…." He was still nuzzling Canada like a cat.
33. He knows that Prussia is dying. No one can hide it from him. He knows him more than anyone else, even Prussia himself.
Prussia made a lunge for the book which France threw to England. England sighed and smacked France and Prussia both with it and then handed it back to the Frog, who continued to read scornfully.
34. Canada is terrified that it will happen without warning, when he will be nowhere near him.
Prussia suddenly looked concerned and sat on Canada's lap to be a cat again.
35. Just like how America likes to visit his nation for the drinking age, sometimes he visits Florida
A few snickers went through the room. France gave a small chuckle as he read the next one.
36. NOT LIKE THAT
"It does not say that!" France showed the disbelieving nation the number.
England rolled his eyes. "Even this Milky person knows you all are perverts…"
"But mon lapin, you were snickering too…"
"I'm NOT your stupid rabbit! Shut up…"
"England-kun is right. Rabbit in Japanese is spelt U-S-A."
"…."
America looked at Japan in horror. "What is eagle?"
"E-N-G-L-A-N-D." Japan said, revealing nothing.
"England originated in Korea."
"…. I'm going to bloody murder you—" was heard, followed by a string of British expletives. France shut him up by holding him in a headlock, wincing as he read the next one because the Brit started punching and kicking him.
37. He just likes the weather.
38. Canada hates how his birthday is so close to America's. People seem to forget about him because of it.
America frowned. Canada felt guilty because he had tried to throw him a surprise party once and he hadn't bothered to show up.
39. Canada always ends up as the little spoon.
40. Even though Prussia is shorter
"Hmmm…. I wonder how graphic this chapter gets….."
"Ohonhonhon… Little Mathieu is a big nation now."
Prussia, not Canada, was the one who was blushing.
41. While he grew up with a major crush on him, Canada hated England at first.
"Black sheep of Europe… Even the petit Canada didn't like you." France teased.
"I am not the black ship of Europe!"
"MR. BREXIT!"
"…Gits."
42. Partially because he had taken him from France.
France smiled but then glared at the next one "Sacré bleu!" (1)
"What is it now, Frog?"
"How dare you slander me in front of innocent Mathieu!"
43. But also because he had repeatedly called France terms that Canada hated hearing. He cried whenever he heard them fall from his mouth at first.
"But, Mister France! You said plenty of things about Mister England when I was your colony!" Seychelles said.
Austria took the book from France while America and Germany pulled France and England away from each other's throats. He gave it back to him when they were done acting like children.
44. Being ignored by most other nations does have its perks at times
45. Sometimes he'll steal their maple syrup if they forget him while he's over
The nations tried not to laugh. Canada pouted when he noticed their reactions.
46. Everyone else's is shit, though, so he ends up returning it
"Hey!"
47. He claims it's because he felt bad and that's the real reason he has a "nice" reputation and says sorry too much
"….."
48. He's actually incredibly passive-aggressive.
America groaned, remembering all the times his brother somehow made him cry. Somehow.
49. He feels a sick feeling of pride whenever he makes America cry.
"Hey bro! Not cool!"
50. Canada's favorite number is 0 because if there's no numbers then none of them can be lonely.
The nations were quiet for a while. Prussia started randomly petting Canada's hair.
51. Since Kumajiro tends to forget Canada's name he pretends that he can't remember his either . It's easier than realizing that even his own pet bear doesn't notice him.
Kuma hopped into Canada's lap.
52. When he gave that bottle of maple syrup with the claim that it would make the user happy to Prussia, he had noticed that the other nation had that look in his eyes recently. The one where you're secretly hurting inside.
Prussia just pouted.
53. He would have done anything to see his smile be genuine again. So he pretended that it would make him happy in hopes that it actually would.
"Wait, what? You mean it was just a joke after all!" Canada facepalmed.
54. He was shocked that Prussia sent him the "Awesome Me" award and mentioned him in his blog.
"Why? Birdie you're awesome!"
55. But they're together now and Canada likes feeling needed by someone so secretly sad.
"I am not sad! I am awesome!"
"Somehow, I'm starting to think that you don't mean that."
"Shut up!"
56. Canada gets excited when someone remembers him, to the point that he might get too excited and run to hug and thank whoever it was.
Seychelles smiled. "So that's what that was about." Canada blushed.
57. Even if they aren't talking to him.
58. Canada can't stand America half of the time, but if anyone were to harm him he would step up to protect him.
"Thanks bro."
"Don't worry about it."
"He said aboot!"
"….America!"
"Yes, Mattie?"
59. Canada might not like the whole fact that America overshadows him, but some part of him feels overjoyed when his brother tries to help… even if he tells him he doesn't need it.
"Well, I don't! He's constantly dragging the UK into a billion different conflicts that we don't need to be involved in."
"…So, is that what the so-called "special relationship" entails, ohonhonhon."
"Bloody Frog!"
60. He wishes Germany would remember him long enough so they could be able to bond more because of Prussia.
Germany nodded, deciding that that would be nice.
61. He once had to be restrained from attacking Austria once because of a comment he heard him say about Prussia.
Prussia grinned with pride.
62. He knows all of America's biggest performers and it offends him when the only people America knows from him are Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, and Justin Bieber. Did he mention Justin Bieber?
"…But Justin Bieber is a natural distaster! You got to take him back!"
"America! I told you, I won the bet!"
"No fair! I was drunk!"
"You were sober!"
63. Canada is obsessed with the Maple Leafs.
64. Canada was secretly happy when England started to pay attention to him after America declared independence
England smiled a bit.
65. Canada was actually pretty upset when he didn't receive the same treatment that America got
The smile fell.
66. When Canada declared independence, he wanted England to fight harder for him, like he had his older brother.
England sighed.
67. Maybe that was why Canada decided to remain in the commonwealth with the Queen as his head of state. So he could pretend that England really did care for him.
France glowered at England. "How could you forget Canada! Look at that hair!"
68. Canada has a secret crush on Justin Trudeau
A few people snickered.
69. He kind of assumed that everyone did, though.
70. Including straight men and gay girls.
71. No, seriously.
"Oh, petit Canada, your Prime Minister is a very attractive man, but that is not how it works."
72. While in the shower, Canada has a tendency to sing Avril Lavigne songs
73. Very
74. Very
75. Very
76. Very,
77. Loudly
France had to show England, Austria, Japan, and Germany that the page really said that before he was allowed to go on.
78. Once, Prussia came over uninvited and thought that America had broken in.
Denmark started laughing. "It's not funny!"
79. Canada gets mad whenever America tells him he says "Eh."
"Why? You do say 'Eh!'"
"I do not!"
80. Which is weird
81. Because he does.
"I do not!"
82. Canada has the same strength as America… but he just doesn't use it.
"I do?"
83. Mostly because he doesn't realise he has it.
"O-oh."
84. Canada was so pissed at America after the American Revolution when he had to take care of a sick and weak England
85. He was completely confused why America bothered showing up to try to see him.
"He did?" England asked, raising an eyebrow.
86. And also angry.
87. England was the first person who promised him that he'd be their family. It stunned him because not even France had done that.
England, France, and America started fighting over who was the best big brother.
89. It confused Canada when England seemed to be confused by his reaction.
88. Canada was hurt when France had a chance to take him back and opted not to.
"Ha! It's clearly me!" England said.
89. Once Canada accidently bought one of those fake maple syrup bottles and he is forever ashamed of himself for not noticing the difference.
America snickered. Canada just smirked because it was a gross American bottle.
90. Canada spells some words the British way.
91. Partially because they are the correct spelling, but mostly just to annoy the fuck out of America
"Hey! There is no U in colour!" America said, ignoring the fact that the author of this story put in it anyway.
"Yes there is!"
"Linguistics claim that both spellings originated in England but you losers just stopped using the heroic way after we called it the right way." America sounded bitter while England just sputtered. (2)
92. Some words he spells the American way.
93. It annoys England
England frowned. "It does not. Only when America butchers the language does it concern me!"
94. And while Canada hates displeasing England France gets a kick out of it which makes up for it.
France was chuckling as he read that
95. Romano likes to gloat to him sometimes about how ROME created the pancake, not Canada
"It's fucking true you bastards! I'll prove it!" (3)
96. Canada still isn't sure whether to hate him for telling him this or to be happy that someone remembered him.
Romano frowned.
97. He didn't know whether to be flattered or annoyed when he found out that in 2010, 5 American girls were named "Canada"
"Wait, seriously?" (4)
98. He thinks that England needs to start making a stupid roster for the stupid g8 meeting
The room burst into laughter.
99. How he even needed one was beyond him. Seriously! It's the G8. Well, G7 now.
Russia koled in the corner and everyone started sweating. Belarus picked up a knife boredly and Russia hid under the table. France sighed in relief and read the last one, trying to keep a straight face as he read what it said.
100. Canada once attempted to stage an assassination attempt on Justin Bieber. It didn't go well because he used water bottles.
The room was quiet as they registered that.
Then no one could stop laughing.
Footnotes
1. French people today don't even use Sacré Bleu, I just included that phrase so I could use it at one point of this, lol
2. This is true about Colour/color and realise/realize and the like. I'm not sure about Center/Centre and such. Grey and Gray are used in both the US and the UK.
3. This thing about pancakes is true. The earliest pancakes were from Ancient Rome
4. Actually children in the US have been named Canada since the 1970's. It's exclusively female. US parents have also named children of both sexes England.