Days and weeks are slowly passing and every time he calls her, she's distant and tells him "not now, I can't" and with each word she stabs another knife in his heart. But he knows - Blair is not just anyone and he isn't the type of a person who would rush people to do anything.

Legally she is finally divorced, barely speaking with Chuck during the procedure, mostly carrying about moving out of their old home as soon as possible. Her mother tries to be there for her, but duty calls and Waldorf Design needs Eleanor more than ever. She even gives Blair weeks off so she can stabilize.

…

It's nine in the evening when a not so loud knock on the door in the loft makes him wonder if he hears things now or someone is actually behind the door. He mutes the TV and the sound doesn't repeat again. He hesitates for a moment, but still decides to stand up from the sofa and check the door.

"Blair?" – She stands before him, squeezing the lapels from her coat around her chest, pale and visibly tired. – "Come in" – He tries to smile, already knowing that something isn't right. She doesn't move, or blink, or breathe he thinks, before she finally speaks:

"Two years ago I was pregnant. And I had…" – It's so sudden he can tell, he gets slowly paralyzed from what's about to follow. He thought she'd never mention the second baby loss. Ever. – "A miscarriage" – She says. – "I didn't tell anyone." – She blurts the words out, like a burden that simply had to be taken off of her.

"Come inside" – He says softly.

"Because you know why? I didn't want you to feel sorry for me." – She says, her face still emotionless but he can give his right hand, he knows, he can tell - her eyes are burned by tears.

"I wouldn't" – He replies.

"Remember when you held my hand, while Chuck was telling how much he loved Raina?" – Of course he remembers, how can he forget her tiny cold hand below his. – "I didn't want you to feel bad for me, that's why I removed my hand, remember? Although it felt warm and soothing." – He swears he could have die and never bet that she wanted him to hold her hand.

"Come inside, we'll talk about this…if you want" – But she doesn't move from the door frame.

"I took the phone, I searched your name in the phonebook and just before I was about to dial up, I changed my mind… because why? Hey Dan…hi it's me" – Her voice is getting shaky and he knows she hates herself for that. – "Yeah I'm fine, how are you, no everything is fine, you know being Mrs. Bass sucks and oh…I had a miscarriage. Again!" – She raises her voice on the final word as she impersonates and avoids his eyes.

"Blair, I'm so sorry" – He walks another step and hugs her, although she is stubborn enough to try to get out of his arms, but he doesn't let her go. She buries her face in his neck, not crying just resting and breathing in his scent… - "You could have…and should have called." – He says, burring his fingers in her hair. – "No matter how mad and bitter I was…once I promised…always, remember?" – She tries to nod and he can feel it. After several long sighs she steps back and even though he tries to convince her to come in she stays at the door.

"I never wanted you to feel sorry for me…" – She steps back and makes an attempt to leave. – "I'd rather be hated by you"

"Blair, wait, don't go" – He tries to get her hand.

"I'd stay, but I really need to go somewhere and cry alone" – She says letting few tears fall down. – "I might come back when I'm done"

And he lets her go. Because Blair Waldorf needs her time for everything, and when she's ready she'd be back and he leaves the door unlocked…just in case.

…

She comes back couple of hours later. It's obvious that she was crying, but she seems kind of lighter, spreads amazing easiness and he thinks she is kind of enlightened…maybe her aura changed the moment she told him about the miscarriage.

"Come in" – He says.

"You know, we've never sat on those fire escape stairs… I kind of feel watching Manhattan from there…with you" - She smiles tiredly. Dan looks at her semi confused, semi incredulously… like what happened to this girl, but still, he takes her hand, leads her through the loft, in the study, opens the window and lets her pop on a chair so she can get out through the window. He grabs the first blanket he finds in his room and goes and sits next to her. The city can't be well seen from there, but their faces are enlightened from the hundredths of lights of Brooklyn Bridge, which is the only big architecture they can see from the spot where they sit. He curls them up with the blanket and although he doesn't want to ask things, he just can't keep quiet.

"I never felt sorry for you, Blair" – He says.

"You know what the first thing Chuck said to me when we got married, was?" – She doesn't even replies to his sentence. – "I'm not Humphrey, you know that?" – She impersonates his low tone and Dan can't help but laugh.

"Why would he say something like that?" – Dan says and she looks at him unwilling to explain things to him, so she just lowers her head on his arm and sighs.

"Because…" – A yawn interrupts her thought – "He knew that we'd fail sooner or later and…"

"I honestly never believed that you and him will fail again." – He says.

"Didn't even hope?" – She smiles.

"Didn't even dare to hope" – He says.

"Funny, how Chuck always knew everything although seemed so distant from everyone. Once he said that the whole time I was looking for…." – She grabs his arm and sits closer to him – "You will never stop looking for the intellectual snob and literary genius in me, won't you? I'm not Humphrey!" – Dan sits sifted and wonders how things are never what they seem to be. – "He said that I was in love with you"

"Were you?" – He closes his eyes before she answers, like he's afraid from what she might say.

"If Chuck noticed, then it can't be false" – Her voice is soft and quiet.

And they sit on the fire escape, curled in a blanket, as the lights of Brooklyn Bridge are flickering. He forgot how it felt to have her near him, to feel her his own, to be calm and content. She is sleepy and tired, but relaxed at the same time, and his arm is so firm and safe so she drifts away a bit.

"Like Breakfast at Tiffany's…"- She mumbles sleepily, meaning them sitting on the fire escape. Dan smiles. – "I still didn't find you a girl, Humphrey" – She suddenly opens her eyes and raises her head from his arm.

"I actually never asked you to find me one" – He strokes the messy locks away from her face. – "But you insisted so much…and if it was the only way for you to be around…" – She looks so deep into his eyes, she can practically see his widened pupils, she thinks. Before she says anything or before he decides to lean in and kiss her, she lowers her head on his arm again.

"We never spoke about it again… He brought me some awfully expensive necklace, probably he got it through illegal canals. I never wore it. He just asked if I called anyone, but my doctor. I said no one. He asked "Not even Humphrey?"" – She started the topic again. – "He was absolutely positive that I was lying. I didn't do it because of Serena…of course. And because even if I did, you'll had to pretend to friendly comfort me in front of her, and I'm selfish when I'm sad and cranky…I wouldn't endure that"

He moves gently and wraps his arm around her, hugging her tighter than she remembers he ever did.

"I had no intention to tell this to anyone…not even my mother or Dorota…" – She raises her head again. – "But…I guess you will have to deal with me again…" – She lowers her gaze. – "And I thought…"

"Blair…I said…always" – He whispers and raises her chin to kiss her lips. And it's a light kiss, feels same old and comfortable, yet it's freshly new sensation that you know you will love to repeat.

tbc