A/N: Thanks to all who've reviewed, favourited or are following this story. I am unbelievably grateful for all the kind words. So I tried to update asap and I think I did good. hehe. I mean this is by far my quickest update :) And as for Blair's actions and motivations, there's more behind them than we've seen. It just takes some more chapters to actually put all the pieces together. :)
And now, enjoy.
The limo ride home was overlain with quietness. She was way too tired to talk and it seemed that he wasn't in the mood to tell anything either. Her head was slightly feeling dizzy and she still couldn't believe that she'd actually kissed him back.
She wanted a divorce and she ended up kissing him; that was not the right way to get what she wanted. She knew that he probably thought that she was going to play along, but she wasn't, she just needed time though to figure out where she'd stay.
But that kiss didn't leave her mind, the scene replaying in her head over and over again. She told herself that it was just a relapse, because she'd once really thought that he would be the one for her, plus there was alcohol involved.
But deep down she couldn't fight this feeling, a feeling that was so very strong that she had difficulties keeping it buried in place. That kiss had worsened everything, she felt like she couldn't think straight anymore, that she couldn't trust herself around him. They'd kissed and as much as she tried to push it away, to make herself not believe it, it had made her feel so unbelievably fantastic.
Of course, it hadn't been their first kiss but it had felt so completely different. All they'd ever shared were pecks; they'd only seen each other for a month and rather briefly before their wedding and back then, he'd always been so exaggeratedly careful and thoughtful with her as if she was a porcelain doll which might break any minute. Sure, they had barely known each other, but then again, it wasn't as if that had changed since then, she thought. They still did not know much about each other.
But this time when they'd kissed though she felt like he was more passionate about it and it puzzled her to say the least. She didn't quite know what had changed, maybe it was her, maybe it was their situation or maybe it was just everything.
She shook those nonsense thoughts away and relaxed somewhat, telling herself that whatever it was, it would never happen again. She watched him then, noticing that he was looking out of the window.
Her eyes wandered from the top of his head down to his striking jaw and continued travelling downwards. His features were hard and she didn't know why his look did mesmerize her quite this much. He shifted a little and she stopped staring, immediately looking the other way, hoping that he had not noticed her looking at him that way. She glanced at him again and saw him eyeing her.
"You're cold?" He suddenly asked and she furrowed her brows. With her mind being occupied with other things, she hadn't noticed that she'd been trembling slightly.
"I-", She felt that her hands which were tightly clasped together were ice cold. She looked down at herself and noticed that her thighs and legs were covered with goose bumps and so were her bare arms. The thin scarf that she'd put around herself didn't help much to keep her warm.
"There's something wrong with the radiator, I need to get it checked tomorrow", he explained while taking off his jacket. He slid closer to her and she raised her eyebrows not sure what he was intending to do. He leaned in nonetheless and put his jacket around her little figure. She looked at him with wide brown eyes and he was just staring back at her, not a hint of any emotion observable but the gesture spoke for itself. His hands were lingering on her shoulders for a tad too long and she could see a faint smile appear on his lips before he slid back to his former place.
"Thank you." She said above a whisper, tightening his jacket around her. He just nodded curtly and turned to look out of the window again.
They arrived home just minutes later and she followed him to their bedroom wordlessly, his jacket still around her tiny frame. She was feeling weary, the day had been exhausting for her, so the only thing she wished to do was sleep. So when they reached the bedroom she rummaged the drawers for a nightgown and walked straight into the bathroom and changed into it. As she walked out of the bathroom she saw him standing there, she did gasp since she didn't expect seeing him undressing himself. She quickly recovered though, shaking her head to get a grip and looking in his direction again.
"Where am I supposed to sleep?" She asked, her hands clutching her gown, looking around. He stopped mid undressing, turning around and staring at her, pointing to his king size bed and frowning at her for a second.
"I can share, what's mine is yours." He added coolly, putting his shirt aside. She just pursed her lips and caught herself watching his upper body.
Without thinking she hopped into the bed, to avoid any more embarrassing stares and covered herself with the bedcover when suddenly he started to undo his belt and her body went still. She was already under the bedcover and wasn't intending to leave that warm and comfortable place. She saw his hands taking the belt away and putting it back into the drawer. He started to work on his trousers and she needed to swallow, clearing her throat. He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. She knew she looked rather alarmed.
"I won't waive my king size bed." He stated matter-of-factly after seeing her expression. She'd thought with mine is yours he meant that he'll give her his bed for the time being not that he'd plan to share it with her at the same time.
"I thought it was mine as well." She voiced against better judgment, already cursing mentally for saying such stupid things. It lightened his mood, she noticed.
"Exactly." He said, his lips slightly moving upwards, she knew that he'd purposely emphasized it like that, he knew she'll jump in. She had just trapped herself.
He was standing half naked in front of her and she felt herself getting flustered. She wasn't used to almost naked men around her. When she heard the zipper of his trousers, she felt her throat get dryer and she sincerely hoped that he wasn't going to sleep naked. To her relief he was wearing boxer shorts and didn't intend to take them off as well.
He turned towards her and caught her watching him. He looked complacent and she decided to look away. She lay down and turned her back towards him, the bed adding weight and shifting slightly when he climbed on it next to her.
She just wanted to sleep and pretend that he wasn't this close to her. But then she felt him move nearer to her though and heard his breath against her ear.
She knew that it would have been the perfect time to tell him that she wanted another room, another bed but the thrill it gave her to have him this close prevented her from saying anything. She was right, she was not thinking straight anymore.
She felt one of his hands putting her hair back so her neck was in full view to him. Mere seconds later his lips were on her neck and she closed her eyes shut. He was suckling lightly while one of his hands went around her waist and rested on her abdomen. He turned her slightly so her back was against the mattress, not breaking his kisses.
She didn't move just felt his tender kisses on her skin and lost the ability to speak. She saw him move, removing the bedcover and before she knew it he'd placed himself between her legs, looking down at her.
"What are you doing?" She asked her voice only a thin whiff, barely existing.
"Nothing." He answered lowly, shaking his head just the tiniest bit. He touched her legs then, stroking them gently and moving upwards to her thighs doing the same again while their gazes were still locked. She just stared at him, quite taken by his ministrations; she couldn't utter any other words anymore.
His hands moved higher and pulled her closer to him, leaning down and kissing her neck tenderly.
Again.
She just closed her eyes, letting the feeling overtake any of her other senses.
"Chuck…" She whispered, somehow trying to say something but she knew that it sounded more like an appreciative moan. He started kissing her neck a little rougher and his hands were still on her thighs, caressing them softly.
The nightgown had ridden up a little bit, the hem resting against her waist. Her eyes were still closed when she felt one of his hands leaving its place from her thigh. He stopped kissing her and looked at her, breathing heavily.
Their eyes were at the same level then, his hand pushing her hair away from her face gently before leaning in and brushing his lips against hers. She didn't fight him, not even when he deepened the kiss, or when he pushed her mouth open with his tongue. If anything she pulled him closer, her arms going around his neck drawing him down to her. She kissed him back eagerly, her tongue thrusting into his mouth finding his. She did not think of anything except for the pleasure she was feeling. There was nothing she could blame it on this time, this was all her who had her arms around him, pulling him down and wanting more.
But then she felt his hand wander to places no one's hands have ever been before and she realized where this was heading. She snapped back into reality and could think straight again. She sucked in a breath, opening her eyes instantly and before he could do or say anything she was pushing him off of her and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
She'd done it again.
When she finally met his gaze, she saw that he looked rather startled but she just took the bedcover and wrapped herself in it. She didn't know what was wrong with her these days. She turned around again, so her back was facing him, acting like she had not been a part of what had just transpired between them. She held her breath for a second when she didn't hear anything from him, no movement, no sound, nothing.
"You're afraid your boyfriend will find out?" His voice sounded rough and deep and she could feel his eyes watching her closely. For a second she was baffled, not knowing what he was talking about but then she remembered. She had forgotten about her made up boyfriend. Her head was racing to search for an answer, one that would shut him up.
"We won't do anything, so I'm not afraid." She responded lamely, trying to keep herself under control though. Her breath was still coming out uneven and rather frantic.
"We already did quite a lot, don't you think?" He said huskily and she turned around to face him, sitting on the bed just like him.
"We did exactly nothing." She let out, narrowing her eyes at him. He chuckled lowly and moved towards her and her breath caught in her throat.
"Oh, we did." He smirked, leaning in closer that she thought he might kiss her again but this time she shoved him away hard.
"I don't think my beau would approve." She said, challenging him with her gaze. She saw his expression change and for her it felt like a small victory. His face fell but he managed to cover it quickly.
"You know that you're never going to see him again." He told her, his jaw clenching.
"We'll see about that." She countered, looking him straight in the eyes. She saw that he had no retort but waited nonetheless.
"Did you sleep with him?" He asked all of a sudden and the abrupt change to that unexpected subject threw her for a loop.
"I - What?" She asked, not sure she'd heard right.
"Did you fuck him or didn't you? It's simple, really. Yes or no? " He hissed, this time his voice grew a little louder. She couldn't believe he was really doing this.
"Well, I'm sure you fucked a hell of a lot of sluts, didn't you?" She said avoiding his question, though not missing a beat, never before had she spoken this way. It felt weird to speak so bold but he didn't give her any other option. She saw that she had surprised him, too.
"That's totally different." He defended himself and she got fed up and stood up from the bed.
"How's that any different?" She asked, her voice matching his one which was crammed with accusations.
"Because it just is." He answered, his gaze not wavering from hers.
"Why? Because I'm a woman?" She asked, trying to keep her anger down.
"No, because you're not like that." He added and her eyes narrowed.
"You don't know how I am." She dissented, laughing humorless and shaking her head.
"I know that you're not like that." He stated firmly.
"No, you don't know anything about me! So stop saying that, okay?" She yelled, wagging a finger at him. He was looking at her, his hands clenching the cover of the bed.
"That's where you're wrong." His voice was raw and sturdy. "I know more about you than you give me credit for." He concluded, letting go of the cover. She just crossed her arms and pursed her lips, waiting for him to start saying one thing that he knew about her. It seemed that he immediately understood what she wanted him to do for a smirk formed on his lips before he started.
"You're Blair Cornelia Bass former Waldorf, a quite beautiful 20 year old woman." He started, smirking again and she rolled her eyes but she felt the heat make its way to her cheeks anyway which surely would redden any second.
"Your father left from New York when you were nine and died two years later. You were homeschooled and when you were twelve years old you dated Nathaniel Archibald for about a year and ever since you hadn't had a boyfriend. He's still your friend though. You didn't go out much and if you did you always returned home quite early. You're pretty intelligent and you applied at every Ivy League University just to see if any of those Colleges would accept you although you knew that your mother was strictly against it since she wanted you to work for her company as a designer which you ended up doing. And you did it, despite the fact that every single one of those terrific Colleges accepted you. You turned all of them down because of your mother; she always tried to look out for you, always trying to protect you." While he spoke he hadn't looked away from her, his eyes boring through hers.
Her eyes, on the other hand, were wide and her mouth slightly agape. She did not know where he got all of this information.
"And not to forget", he added, his smirk still very present on his lips. "You left to France after our wedding day and you were with Carter Baizen the whole time." He ended his listing there purposely, she knew. He seemed to watch her reaction strongly and she was sure that she got a little paler hearing his name coming out of his mouth.
"The infamous Carter Baizen, who has left his father's company behind to accomplish something on his own and how I know Carter, he's failing at it miserably." He badmouthed him and she compressed her lips.
"I always knew he was a failure to begin with and so did his daddy." He went on and she couldn't hold herself back any longer.
"Don't talk about him like that." She warned him furiously and he looked at her quite amused. "He's more of a man than you'll ever be." She defended him.
"So, you slept with him then?" He demanded an answer and she saw that he had already drawn his own conclusions.
"Why would you think that?" She asked him back, her voice and body rather rigid.
"You know, I had two guesses, either Carter Baizen or Damien Dalgaard." He threw in nonchalantly, his eyes burning through hers though.
"But then again, I did believe that my driver wouldn't have had the guts to molest my wife, but I haven't seen him since the day you left. I actually assumed that you two have eloped since I only found my limo without the driver parked just some streets away, but seeing you get all worked up at the mention of Carter though, well, that's conspicuous." He said, still watching her, clearly waiting for her to speak but she refused to say anything.
"So that leaves us only Carter." He stated the obvious when she didn't reply anything. "You know, you could have told me you're going to visit him, I at least would have sent my greetings." He said jokingly, though his face appeared hard as stone and did not show any hint of humor. She just crossed her arms in front of her chest; feeling like this conversation has gone into a horrible direction.
"So, am I right?" He asked and seeing him look at her like that, looking at her like he'd figured it all out, made something in her burst.
"Yes, you're right. I slept with him." She lied, forcing the words out of her mouth. She saw his façade slip for a second again. His throat moved while she saw him swallowing slowly but his look stayed the same, hard and stern.
"So what are you going to do about it?" She asked brusquely, she wasn't sure what reply to expect. She told herself that she hoped that he'll tell her that he'll file for divorce but there was another sudden feeling, an unsettling one. There was a part of her that was terrified that he'd say exactly that.
"I don't think I have to do anything about it. It's obviously over, so there's nothing to worry about." He uttered calmly.
"And now we should just go back to sleep." He already turned around, his back facing her and she couldn't believe how fast he'd dropped it. She stayed on the same spot not moving for a while and just looked at his back. She didn't know what to make out of this fight but she just reluctantly climbed into the bed again, she just needed to sleep.
A/N: You'll find out more about Carter and Damien in the next chapter. Any thoughts? Please share :)