Disclaimer: Once again I don't own Criminal Minds, I just steal it once in a while and give the viewers what they want... that is all =)

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Derek ripped the car door open not leaving Penelope the opportunity to fight back or resist him, she wanted him and the feel of him hugging her and she got it.

'I'm not going back to Clare Baby Girl.' He confessed to her, and Penelope just clung onto him tightly, not that he minded, he loved having her secured in his arms and he would keep her there as long as he could. 'I need you to know one thing.'

'If you're going to say what I think you are then don't Derek. Please.'

'How can you just tell me that P?' He asked broken as he pulled away. 'I've never stopped loving you and if you'd stopped loving me you would've moved on and been at peace with this.'

Penelope pulled away and paced then hands on her head. 'I've not functioned well really.' She stated the obvious for him there. 'I thought that it was you holding me back but as I watched you move on and get with Clare I realised that I needed you to help me move on and then you said you got engaged to her and I felt the dark take over and I didn't know what to do.'

Derek and Penelope were so caught up they didn't realise Fran and Hotch at the gate for the grave yard. 'Pen... I'm sorry.'

'I should've been the one marrying you! I still have the engagement ring to prove it! I should've been strong enough to survive that because I had a man who loved me but what did I do? I made up problems that weren't there, I made my life worthless and I did it all because I was selfish.

So why the hell would you still love me Derek? Why? Because right now I'd do anything to not be me, to have not felt it be the right thing to come to that church, to not be the woman that has done nothing but love you from the day we met!'

'If I'd been a stronger man I would've stuck by you, I would've stuck in there through thick and thin and just done everything in my entire power to get you help but I left when you gave me the way out, when I thought you'd worn me down.'

Penelope flashed a look at him, a new light, a new sight that she'd been missing. 'This is the first time we've spoken about this Derek since you left that night.'

'I know it is Princess.' Derek said closing the gap between them. 'Now I think we need to keep talking this out. Establish everything we need to, get it all out in the open, I need to know now what you've been doing with yourself.' She shot him a look. 'Properly know Pen, we've helped one another but not to the fullest extent that we could've so now I'm doing what I was a fool to not do.'

He watched her walk to her car door again and bend in to grab her purse, she pulled something out and threw it at him. 'That's the best way I can tell you I've been doing Derek.' She said as he looked over the prescription pot, he frowned she'd been on anti depressants for months. He looked up at her, she wasn't near tears anymore, she had a new strength to her, a look that didn't show she was carrying a weight on her shoulders. 'To go with that is the sedatives I've got at home for when I'm just too wired to get sleep.'

'Why didn't you let me in, just reach out to me for help?'

'Because how is it that easy when you were making progress? It became my problem not long ago Derek, you had other priorities.'

'Like a stupid relationship.'

'Well it made you happy, so it wasn't stupid. I'm just sorry I ruined that for you.'

'But you didn't, Clare was waiting for me after you'd left the church, she couldn't marry me until I'd put what me and you had to rest, thing is, I never can, not when you earned the rights to my heart from the first smile you gave me. No one else can have it because of you baby girl.' He saw someone ignite in Penelope's eyes. 'Just look me in the eyes and tell me if I'm lying?'

Penelope searched his lie for a loop hole, for the lie, for the deceit but even she couldn't pass off the honesty in them. 'You know I know when you're lying.'

'And am I?'

'No.' Penelope said and looked down, for a split second she had doubted him, just hoping to see something that would release them from one another. 'You know, I think you stole my heart from the word Gomez...' She paused and breathed. 'Handsome.' She said and breathed like she'd been holding it in. 'Oh God.' She said and turned and put her head to the roof of her car.

'Baby? What is it?'

'I had to do it.' She said and felt his hand run up his back. 'I had to call you a nickname.'

'Wanna know why you did it?' Penelope stood up and spun around, her body trapped between her car and Derek's body, a feeling she didn't realise she'd missed so much. 'You did it because deep down in that big ole heart of yours you've never once hated me or stopped loving me.' Penelope bit her lip. 'Go on, lie to me.'

Penelope closed her eyes and then looked at him. 'Never have I stopped loving you and you did nothing to make me hate you. It took me a while to realise you weren't the bad guy and once I pulled myself together, or somewhat together, I realised I was too late. I'd screwed up my life with the only man that made me happy.'

'You haven't screwed up on that life, because the man in question is still after his second chance with the woman he loves.' He saw the doubt. 'We'll take it slow, rebuild what we lost but come on Pen, we've lost so much in such a little time. Let's not waste anymore.'

Penelope looked into the graveyard again, through the tree's she could just begin to see the sea of small white crosses. 'That's out child in there.' She whispered, and Derek put his hands on her face and made her look at him and only him. 'Our son, the little boy that would've looked just like you and would've been perfect and...'

'The little boy that we'll forever love and miss but the little boy that should be the reminder of what we have Baby, he should be the answer to all our problems. If for anyone we need to make a happy place to create the life we would've given him.'

'Derek...'

'We just need a chance to do that, to work on getting you to move on, to work on us moving on, to help us both, we need the chance to recover what we've both had a hand in breaking.' He saw something in her flicker, a bit more of her coming to life. 'Come on baby, we need this, we need each other, you know we do and you know that that's the only way we're ever going to succeed in life, and that's the only way we're gonna be able to survive.'

Penelope nodded. 'I've always needed you to survive.' She told him and the kiss that Derek planted on her forehead told her she'd just said the exact thing Derek was after.

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