In all his years of being a shinobi, Hatake Kakashi had never felt as bad as he did for the past six years. Uzumaki Naruto was his responsibility, his duty. Naruto's father, the fourth Hokage, Usumaki Minato, might as well have been Kakashi's father. Not his biological one, no. That one died when he was only about five years old. No, Usumaki Minato was the father he had been missing for almost all his childhood. He was the man that took him in because he saw past the front that Kakashi had put up as a child. He saw past the egotistical, selfish child, to see the real him. He saw the child that had cried himself to sleep because he missed his father. He saw the mental scars that being The White Fang's son left behind. He took him in, gave him a home, and raised him to how he thought was best. Even after all that, Kakashi still made one of the biggest mistakes of his life, letting one of his best friends die because he wasn't willing to break a few rules to save the people who considered him their friends. He let his best friend die because he wasn't strong enough to see past the pain of the past and move on. He had learned one of the most important lessons in his life. Those who break the rules are trash, but those who don't protect their friends are even lower than that.
He thought he had learned his lesson the first time one of the most precious things in his life was taken from him. He was wrong. He made the second biggest mistake in his life with Usumaki Naruto. Minato had told him, nearly begged him, to look after his son. At the time, he had promised him that he would, not even thinking of the implications that it might have in the future. Again, he had failed his friends, and his father. He had watched from the sidelines as Naruto was beat, as he starved, as he cried all alone in his own world of pain and sadness. At the time, he had used the excuse that he was an AMBU captain. In his mind, he didn't have time to watch after the kid. He was only kidding himself.
The real reason he hadn't took care of him was because he was afraid of him. No, not the Kyubi. He wasn't stupid enough as to think that just because he was its jailer, he was the thing. No, he was afraid of the memories. He had already lost one father, then, when he thought he had finally recovered from that, he lost his other one. Naruto reminded him too much of Minato. He couldn't bare to be next to him. He lived his whole life in one constant failure after another.
Then, on this day, six years ago, it was announced that Naruto went missing. A week later, as was law, he was pronounced dead. This news hit Kakashi harder than anything ever could. How could he let it happen? How could he fail so many people who depended on him? He failed his father by breaking the rules. He failed his friend by letting him die. And now he failed Minato because he couldn't look past the past. For Kami's sake! Why wasn't he there for him? He could have easily scared away all of the people that beat him. He could have easily gave him all the food, water, clothing, anything he needed. He could have been the one to ease his pains at night when he cried himself to sleep, because he understood at least some of those pains as well. He should have been there. He should have taken care of him. Why wasn't he there when his own brother (in his mind) needed him the most? Why couldn't he forget the past?
What must Minato think of him? That's the thought that scared him the most. Minato trusted him, told him to take care of his son. He trusted Kakashi with his own son, and Kakashi didn't have the decency to at least teach the kid how to fend for himself. What the hell was wrong with him?
The week following Naruto's disappearance saw some of the worst conduct from the jonin that anyone had ever seen him show. He got drunk, wasted was more the word. He was that way almost all the time. He punched "innocent" civilians every time they had the nerve to call Naruto "that demon" or "the monster". He was only a kid, for Kami's sake! How could he be held responsible for all the destruction the Kyubi did in the village? It didn't matter, the villagers still treated him like shit, and he got demounted and expelled from the AMBU ranks for his "unwanted emotions" and "misdemeanor." Kakashi snorted out loud as he remembered the exact words that the elders had told him when they kicked him, causing many of the jonin in the room to shoot him questioning glances, to which he just shrugged as an answer. Those damned elders could take their rules and regulations and shove them up their-
"Kakashi, are you still with us?" He looked up, to she the third hokage staring at him. The man looked like he might fall over any second. He had wrinkles upon wrinkles on his face, simply from old age. His skin was brown tanned, probably from all the time he had spent out in the sun from all his past missions. The rest of his body was covered in the traditional hokage robes that he was seen with. He shrugged sheepishly, quickly apologizing, explaining it off with lack of sleep the previous night. The Sandaime gave him a quick look before turning too address the rest of his jonin.
"So, do we have any recommendations for the chunin exams this year?" Ahh, so this is where his mind was suppose to be. Well, he supposed his "team" was as ready as anyone was for the exams. He really didn't have a "team" per-say. He actually only had one man to apprentice for the exams, as apposed to the other jonin's three. Sasuke Uchiha. The legendary Uchiha, the last of his clan, and the only man, besides him, and Itachi Uchiha, who had the sharingan. He actually wasn't that bad. He had made excellent marks on his exams when he graduated from the academy, top of his year. Not only that, but he had single handedly taken on one of the most powerful rouge ninja in the books, Zabuza Momochi, and lived to tell the tale, if only just barely. That alone put him on at least high chunin, maybe even low jonin.
"I fully recommend Sasuke Uchiha, as is my right as rank of jonin and his sensei, to take the chunin exams." Many people were in fact shocked from this. He would, if allowed to go in to the chunin exams, be the youngest allowed to take the exams. Kakashi knew this information, but he felt as if he was ready for the exam. Truly, Sasuke seemed to be one of the most promising genin that were entering this year. Of course, he would have some stiff competition, none of the other entries going in this year were pushovers, but Kakashi knew he could handle on his own.
"I understand he is young, but as his sensei, I truly believe that he will be able to handle himself on his own in these exams." His proclamation seemed to put a good note on everyone's agenda. The council said they would add him into the roster. Kakashi snorted out loud again. Of course the council would add him. He was there precious Sasuke Uchiha. They would have in the endangered bloodline pact by the time he was older, having him with several different wives in an attempt to revive his clan. Until then, they had to make sure he was a good ninja until they could trick everyone into thinking that he was the strongest, just to make Konoha look good.
Kakashi started to make his way out, all the while having the council stare at him for his sudden outburst. "Let them stare." He thought ominously to himself, "If they kill me, it will be a welcome change to my life so far."
Little did he know that the change was about to come, and in a way he never expected at all.